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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Annual check up all OK. Smiley Happy  Next year WILL be the last, with the surgeon, but because of the REACT trial, I will see the oncologist for an extra 5 years.  Mammogram booked for 3rd March.

 

There were 2 students in with the surgeon and I let one of them 'cop a feel' too. We've all got to learn at some point?  Interestingly, surgeon said to the students that I was an interesting case because I had a temporary lymphodema (in boob, not arm) and was "one of the lucky ones because it was only temporary". Really?! That's news to me!! I have vague memories of mention of the 'L' word as a possibility but I never realised it was officially in my records!! Glad to be numbered among the 'lucky ones' though! Smiley Very Happy

 

Tablet being collected for repair tomorrow, but I've received a text saying my parcel was collected on Monday 18th and is at Smethwick branch of <insert name of delivery company here> awaiting delivery to me tomorrow. WTF?? It's in my porch waiting for them to collect it for repair!! Unless they know **** well they can't repair it and are sending me a new one?? (Or as YD says, because they are no longer making them: they're sending me a knackered one that somebody else has returned?!)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm beginning to feel guilty 'cos I don't have a decorating/interior design project on the go (or on the cards) at the moment Smiley Sad

 

Had my rads planning session today, a very smooth and efficient process.  I am sure there is a connection between the efficiency and the free parking....our parking spend to date would pay off the debt of a small African nation, so when your parking is free the service runs on time!!

 

Hope the scan results are good, JCJ.  Lots of hugs and anything else you need waiting for you in Benchland xxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Psst! Grumpy is?! That's enough glitterberry juice! I don't know about seeing double, but you're *writing* double! Teehee.
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Well I've amazed myself with the tarting up of bedroom! Three coats of paint needed to cover the bright yellow wall, dogs paint free, blobs of pale coffee colour removed from skirting board (i am a messy decorator), new bedding in place, just need to sort out the art work........ and the Oxfam (other.....) curtains are perfect and a bargain at a tenner! This room would now be modern trendy honeymoon suite for Murdoch and Hall, apart from no en-suite, have to totter across the landing for a wee in the night - Murdoch may find that a problem!!!

Roll on the next project - conversion of vehicle into campervan. I'm not sure the dogs will cope with the stress, Joey is distraught and Meg is carrying her blanket all round the house for comfort.

Another swig of glitterberry juice is on the cards, then bedtime - oh bliss!

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Well I've amazed myself with the tarting up of bedroom! Three coats of paint needed to cover the bright yellow wall, dogs paint free, blobs of pale coffee colour removed from skirting board (i am a messy decorator), new bedding in place, just need to sort out the art work........ and the Oxfam (other.....) curtains are perfect and a bargain at a tenner! This room would now be modern trendy honeymoon suite for Murdoch and Hall, apart from no en-suite, have to totter across the landing for a wee in the night - Murdoch may find that a problem!!! Roll on the next project - conversion of vehicle into campervan. I'm not sure the dogs will cope with the stress, Joey is distraught and Meg is carrying her blanket all round the house for comfort.

Another swig of glitterberry juice is on the cards, then bedtime - oh bliss!

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good luck for tomorrow JCJ, that horrible nervousness don't think it will ever leave any of us.

Grumpy what colour scheme are you doing?
Where are you FF?
Tat you are funny glad you were comfortable over weekend. I hate bras now haha !
We have had snow lying here from last wed......
My new coffee table was delivered really like it so also ordered a console table in same style, it came on fri so was all excited hee hee! Totally changed the look in living room! New year new look......
Received a small tv as a xmas gift for bedroom so bought one of those new fangled devices that turns it into a smart tv am well pleased! So would def recommend .
Who's wedding are we doing now???? Xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I got my prosthesis last Wednesday, Jan.  I don't bother wearing anything at home, but this weekend I was at my folks' and wore it for up to 7 hours at a time.  I was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable it is Smiley Happy

 

I get who Lynn is now, KTC Smiley Wink  Hope the new sleeves help.  JCJ, a family member had terrible night time leg cramps and tried all sorts of things, the most helpful being a sports type drink.  You can make your own so you have more control over what you are drinking and tweak for the flavour you find most palatable.  Searching 'sports drink recipe' or 'electrolyte drink recipe' should bring up plenty of suggestions Smiley Happy

 

Hope everyone has had a good weekend.  Tat xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

What a shame they couldn't afford a dress for her, Tat?!
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thanks for the suggestions to get me off the CRAMP bench. I tried having a banana at bedtime (so to speak!!) last night and I didn't get any cramp! I don't get it *every* night so it's hardly scientific proof it works, and I did get bananaey I digestion, so it may not be worth doing every night. I think I'll try to use Losalt (other....) more. I got it when ES was trying to reduce his BP, ages ago. It is lower in sodium but higher in potassium, so it might help?!

4th annual check up with surgeon 4pm tomorrow. I was completely fine about it and now, suddenly, I've started to get anxious. Smiley Sad

Hope you're ok, FF, you've gone quiet! x
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ah grumpy, our services would be the perfect match for the quality, style and class of Hall & Murdoch.  They must have wanted a 'quickie' wedding, because as you can see, they married this weekend Smiley Sad  Must have been somewhere warmer than Norcambe, though?

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I haven't personally tried this, but a friend swears by putting a tablet of soap in the bed! Sounds weird but it works for her. The soap is unwrapped but hasn't been used. Another trick recommended by a Yoga teacher is to roll a cork along the area of the cramp.  OH was given quinine tablets by the doc.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Sorry, dashing through, but - bras, I heartily back the recommendation for Royce, pretty,comfortable, and mx ladies save the 20% VAT. Very helpful too.

Cramp - potassium helps, so a banana at bedtime, as does tonic water... and a little extra salt- some crisps or salted nuts.

Sorry to dash out again, off to the Watching it Snow bench Smiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Quality, style and class???? Somehow I don't think that is what Norecambe Nuptials can offer........ more like glitter, lycra, scooters, and silly headgear. Subtle we are not!!!

Decided I need a project in this glum grey month after all the rain and floods - grey skies, grey buildings, grey thoughts are predominant here in Jan and Feb. So I'm 'tarting up' my bedroom which involves paint (on dogs as well as the walls) new duvet cover etc and new curtains courtesy of Oxfam (other....) and copious intake of glitterberry juice.

I do hope everyone is getting their medical problems sorted - I worry about you all and feel so useless so I'll just send love and hugs. Meg and Joey send love and licks to anyone feeling miserable - they are very good at comforting folk.

Grump

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thanks JCJ I found a reasonable style in a bigger M&S shop but I will look at the links. Due to get my prostheses on 26th January had fitting but had to wait for my size to be ordered. Hoping it will be better than the softie which seems to look like I have socks stuffed in my bra!
Have you tried having a banana before bed for the cramp my dad swears by it 😃.
Had a normal day today just shopping and having lunch with a friend, there is life outside of all this crap!
Jan x
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Tried tonic water JCJ and it didn't work for me, had lots at beginning now just have them periodically, blinkin' nuisance. Onto the "ouchy" bench for you!!!

Had my appt and am either trying a new drug or taking certain vitamins, my choice, letter will arrive telling me more about it all, think it's just going to be something I have to live with, am luckier than lots of people because it's not sore, just annoyingSmiley Frustrated!

ED had bad news yesterday she has leased a flat for almost 6 years and owners now want it for their daughter, she was devastated................sooooooo the hunt is onSmiley Sad! We're checking somewhere on Mon, fingers crossed.

Packet slapped on my floor this morning, ran excitedly to the door and it was my new sleeves, woo hoo, scooby/booby doo. Who would ever thought I would be excited by sleeves??? hahahaha, boo hoo Smiley Sadxx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Don't know what exactly you are looking for, Jan (I wore the M&S recommended post-surgery bra for years BEFORE my dx as it was the only thing in cotton and big enough!) but there are some pretty non-wired ones here:

https://uk.triumph.com/bras/non-wired

and here - specialist post-surgery ones!

http://www.royce-lingerie.co.uk/collection?range=Caress

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I was on the Cursing Repeatedly About Muscle Pain (or CRAMP) bench all night. In and out of bed like a bl***y jack in the box! 😢

 

Did taking tonic water help, FF? Any other miracle cures? My legs are so sore today after repeated bouts of severe cramp - in places I never used to get cramp!! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

On the K*****ed bench tonight. Week 2 went quickly. 2 down, 4 to go until 1/2 term. Can't believe it's the middle of Jan already - still not used to the idea of 2016 (or, let's face it, 2015 for that matter!)

 

Yesterday, after work, I took my dead tablet to a computer repair shop in a little local market town. They don't repair tablets, but they told me of a shop that does in another little local market town, in the opposite direction from my house. It was too late to go then, so I went "on my way home" tonight. Pouring with rain, freezing cold and hideous traffic. This shop DOES repair tablets, but not mine as the manufacturers (big(gest?) supermarket) won't let them have the parts, and the shop won't fit non-genuine parts. 

 

Back home. Ring helpline. Bloke very unhelpful at first, refusing to do anything without receipt details, even though I have thge box, all original packaging and the seriel number. Until I got stroppy! I really let him have it. Told him it was appalling service to not allow repair shops to repair their products, and yet refuse to do it themselves - it's not as if anyone else sells these own brand tablets!! How can I be expected to have the receipt when it was a gift??!! Anyway, eventually, he said that if he could talk to the person who bought it, he might be able to verify the purchase. With impeccable timing, OH walked into the house at that very moment, so I thrust the phone at him and said talk ro this guy about my H***l. After 5 minutes, having got OH's email, mobile phone number and address, he found the order and BINGO! he's agreed ro have it back for repair "as it is a manufacturing fault". Ah! So you're admitting it now??! They're collecting it on Tuesday, but can't specify a time other than between 9am and 6pm. I can't stay at home, so we'll have to smile sweetly at the neighbours!

 

I hate having to do battle over the phone. So wearing!  CBA bench for me with a large mugatea. Snzzzzz

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Totally with you on the ugly bra thing, Jan.  I am not ready for Playtex Cross Your Heart style either, but the alternative is the non wired post surgery bra I bought in m&s before my op.  Beige, in every way Smiley Sad. I think I hate them because they represent what I no longer have (2 boobs😉), perhaps that's why it upsets you too?  Just because the physical scars are healing doesn't mean the emotional ones are keeping pace.  My Px would have been nice food and lots of wine; glad you came away with that at least!  There's always plenty of room on my g&t bench 😀

 

I think the skin tight PVC dresses would be way too subtle for Ms Hall's wedding Smiley Wink. I'm helping Mr & Mrs tat senior to declutter this weekend ahead of a house move.  Once I'm back home I shall be scouring t'internet for suggestions for the H&M wedding.  Such a high profile wedding is really going to be the making of Norcambe Nuptials, ladies.  Our services will be in demand worldwide and our name will be synonymous with quality, style and class.  

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Well ladies think I need a new bench think I will call it the " totally depressing shopping" bench. Why when I go looking for bras can I only find underwired or granny style bras. Ok I am a nanna, 2 beautiful, though rarely seen grandchildren and another due in July but it doesn't mean I want to wear full cup granny bras. Why do I still have incredible meltdowns over really simple things. Left m&s in total despair because I couldn't find a feminine bra? Ok rant over at least their meal for 2 for £10 is really worth it. Well on with the wine, just love happy hour in my home. Although usually means 10pm bed time 😂?
Think I have moved to tat's g&t bench well wine in my case.
Have a good weekend ladies.
Jan x
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

First item to sort out must be flattie shoes for Ms Hall - we don't want her to tower over her bridegroom on the day, now do we?????

OR what about a VERY large dress so she can sit down on a mobi scooter and propel herself down the aisle, or whatever they are having - probably a palace in Monaco. 

I feel their rejecting the idea of Norcambe for the venue as a tad over-superior....there are lots of B&Bs for guest accommodation, Rita's is fine for breakfasts, and we know the Madlands do a lovely afternoon tea for the reception. And they have a helipad on the roof.............. I think.

Who said it's not posh enough? Oh get over yourself!!!

This wedding will drive us bonkers at Norcambe Nuptials, so we need supplies in the Lost Plottery Shed a.s.a.p.

grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Excellent that nurse was so thoughtful and kind kayak, fingers crossed for you.

 

JCJ if it had been here I would have been fine with appt but I will have to leave at 2, get on train, hang about for an hour, then appt, if they are running late which is usual, won't get back till after 6, whew!!! 

Murdoch & Hall we can do that, may have to change dresses etc because more appropriate for JCJ's daughter's wedding??

What do you think?? xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Sorry you had such a rough time of it Jan , sounds awful . Good that the nurse was so helpful and efficient and has arranged for a private room for you . 

 

Hope you can take your mind off things over the next couple of weeks , lots of hugs and healing thoughts .

 

Jill xxxx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Of course!  Murdoch & Hall are bound to want us to plan their wedding.  No time to waste, let's start putting together the mood board 😉

 

JCJ, now you've said it we can't 'un know' it... 😜

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh dear Norcambe Nuptials will have to find new clients this year.

What about Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall??????

I leave the idea to your imagination......

grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha! Brilliant! Love the hilarious wedding bench. Smiley Happy

Had phone call from YD tonight. Good news and bad news: Wedding venue chosen and date picked. However it's not going to be this year....or anywhere near the West coast of Lancashire. Norwich. May 28th 2017. Gives me longer to perfect the MOTB costume?

Benchland Bridal Services will have to find other clients for this summer.

Fell about laughing when I put the date on the calendar. Daughter's initial is S. Future D-I -L's is M so I wrote: (I hope this doesn't get bleeped....let's see) "S&M wedding" ooh er?! The 'Veronica' is starting to look very appropriate? ? Teehee
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I've been thinking about our marketing material when we open up the services of the fabulous Benchland Brides/Norcambe Nuptials/CCC wedding planning service to the wider public.....  This image caught my eye 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thanks 😃 xx
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thanks for updating us, Jan, and sounds like your oncology team are on the ball.  Small acts of kindness like the nurse booking all your sessions in a private room mean so much at times like this Smiley Happy. I hope, now you know what's happening, that you can do something nice that doesn't involve hospitals!  We'll keep the benches warm until you need them again.  Take care xxxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Well ladies thanks for hugs etc.
Oncologist ok. Explained all quite thoroughly but really didn't understand my reluctance to want to fill my body with chemicals that will make me ill! Anyway upshot I'm having 6 sessions of EC starting 2nd February .
Waiting room was really really crowded when we got to hospital, I struggle with crowds. Made a comment to the Dr as the sheer volume of people and noise really gets me. She assured me chemo suite was better and arranged for me to go for a look around. Wow it was busy! I had a panic attack and had to be taken out. Really struggled, not sure why, I know I have issues with crowds but not had a panic attack like that before. The nurse I was with quickly saw the problem and showed me to a private room. She quickly disappeared and then told me she has arranged for a private room for all my treatments. So fingers crossed I will cope, at least I know the hospital is doing its best. So planning to leave the SS bench , well at least for next 2 weeks. I have decided to take a break if my brain lets me. Will rejoin the wedding planners soon.
Thanks to all you ladies your support is much appreciated
Jan x


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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Funnily enough, KTC, I *chose* 4pm for my surgeon check-up next Monday, when I booked it last year, because it enables me to get there after work and not have to take time off! Horses for courses (No! I am not suggesting you eat horse!!) or Camels for...... ? mmmm can't think of a rhyme there.

 

Hugs, tissues, cake, beverages of your choice - both caffeinated and alcoholic, and punchbags (for venting!) all located by the Why Me? bench and the Jittery Bench - now upgraded by Kayak to the scared ****less or SS bench. There are plenty of spares, along with a variety of spoons and thwacking ladles, in the lost plottery shed.

 

I am trying not to worry that every day my stomach seems to expand so my clothes are tight and then overnight it settles down. These trousers were really loose this morning but really uncomfortable now, and I haven't even had dinner yet!! Smiley Sad

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good luck with appt kayak, fingers crossed.

 

 

What a complete and utter dilemma?? What will I do??? Love the frankfurter thingy, soooooooooooo should I wear that on my head or the cake? Am leaning towards frank hahaha!!!

We love glitter in Benchland, FF especially adores it NOT!

Didn't bother phoning doc thought I'll wait and see if it happens again, sure enough big bruise on thigh.......

Have BMS appt on Fri, it's in another city and appt is at 4, what a stupid time?? xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh ladies, tough day for both of you.  Sending lots of hugs.  The bench landers were kind enough to pile up tissues, chocolate and a hangover cure for me recently, so I've re-stocked and planted some lovely spring flowers.  Please post news when you can. 

 

I had a prosthesis fitting today (couldn't go rough a whole week without at least 2 visits to the hospital!).  Friends were begging me to get a squeaky or glittery one, but alas, just the bog standard available under the nhs Smiley Sad I am fairly sure they will conspire to design something inappropriate ready for when we meet up next month.  Whichever restaurant in Oxford gets our group that day is definitely going to have a loud, colourful and unique experience.... 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope your appointment with the oncologist went OK Jan and you got your answers ,so that you could make your choices .

When I saw my onco re my breast cancer , I asked  him what would he do in my shoes , to which he replied , he was an oncolgist and would take the chemo !!! So I did , 6 months on the Tact 2 trial . It wasn't a picnic , but it was do-able .

 

Funnily enough as things turned out I actually owe my life to that decision that day !!! It meant I was followed up for 10 years rather than 5 , so my Angiosarcoma was picked up 6 years later during a routine checkup !! 

 

 

Lots of hugs ,

Jill xxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Have been for blood tests today , as my 6 monthly check up with the Endocrinologist is on the 25th. Not only breast cancer , angiosarcoma , but thyroid cancer as well !! Am firmly sitting on the Not Another Bl**dy Cancer  Bench . Seriously fed up with hospitals now ....

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi all benchers.
Not sure which bench I'm on tonight have first appointment with oncologist tomorrow. So am I on the scared sh**tless or the CBA keep on drinking bench? Really don't know what to expect tomorrow. BC consultant said he thought I was borderline for chemo but overall the MDT were recommending it. I have lots of questions and hope I get enough answers to make an informed decision.
Not at my best tonight but hope to rejoin the wedding planners soon.
Jan x
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha! A food item that looks like it's wearing knee highs! Spot on for any Benchland occasion? ! Smiley Very Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Been a bit low today, I tend to find the day after an appointment is hard.  All the anxiety and stress leading up to it, the horror of the waiting room (I think the sarcoma waiting room even trumps oncology for fear you can almost see and taste) and then the recollections of things that were said.  It was properly cold today, so I took the pooch for a lovely long ramble around a NT property near us.  Mud and sheep poo; what more could a labrador want?

 

JCJ, you should take your tablet back to the shop.  KTC's right, even without a receipt they are able to check when that batch of serial numbers was on sale.

 

I just love the idea of choosing the songs for the wedding.  I have 'history' with Climb Every Mountain.... My kids are scarred for life from a childhood where I belted it out at the top of any mildly significant hill we climbed Smiley Happy  

 

And why stop with the music?  We'll need hors d'oeuvres and snacks in between the F&C and hog roast. This little gem caught my eye and now I can't imagine a wedding (or any celebration) without one.  

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

YA??? Arghh! ****** predictive text. Y*D* !!
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Climb every mountain would be a brilliant song for YA & her OH as they love to "collect" trig points!! Smiley Happy That is why YA feels she's made the ultimate sacrifice, for this relationship, by moving from lovely hilly Garstang, within easy reach of the Lakeland fells, to flat as a pancake Norfolk. She would genuinely love for the wedding to be in Norecambe, but it's way too far for M's family to travel.

Tablet still caput. Wanted to take it to computer shop to fix it, after school, but I was marking until after 4:30th, so shop would've been closed by time I got there. Having to use tiny phone keyboard. Smiley Sad On the plus side: the hug button works on my phone! Smiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Wedding songs?????

From the Voice - I belong to you, you belong to me

From sound of music - climb every mountain

Nope, neither seem quite right.......

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

tat, great that you know what's happening and who's in charge and you feel a little easier, hard choices.

Also good you have lavendersblue.

Had GS today, he was Mr Sleepyhead so he had a couple of power naps and basically when he was awake kept eating, said before we have never had a baby who loves food sooooo much haha!!

Aaaaah JCJ how annoying.............would take it into shop anyway, they can tell by serial numbers etc how old it is worth a shot anyway.

At the wedding reception do you think your daughter would like us to sing??? The "silent" choir is magnificent, truly worth seeing and hearing or not???Smiley Happy!!

Will there be a special wedding song? xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

So glad that you have reached a decision that you feel at peace with Tat ,and that the Sarcoma Consultant was more human and actually applogised for previous behaviour !!!! 

 

AS is such a bum disease !! I had recurrence in my scar , and mets to my other breast  within three months of my original MX !!! I made the decision to have a 2nd mx as I disliked being a large uni-boober and decided I would rather be flat and fabulous !!! LOL ......well flat anyway !! 

Interesting to hear that rads induced AS is increasing , not good , but interesting !!!  Wonder if it is related to shorter but more powerful sessions of rads used these days  ?

 

Good to hear that the sarcoma team are leading your care now , I was lucky that breast and sarcoma team are one and the same in Leeds , so no conflict of interests. Have you got a date to start the treatment ? Will be rooting for you all the way....

 

Hugs,

Jill xxxxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm glad you are in a slightly better place now T4T, even if the options aren't exactly inspiring!  Good to know who's in charge too?! Smiley Tongue  I understand your wanting to get on with life with the least invasive treatment. I declined chemo (left for me to decide as I was borderline for benefit from it) for the same reason. Even when I was having tests, last year, to investigate whether my stomach problems were liver mets, I didn't regret not having the chemo. (As it happens they were just caused by a large gallstone!)

 

I see emotions as benches as well. In fact I have even been known to state to 'normal' people that "I'm on the Can't Be A*** bench" or the jittery bench or whatever, and they look at me as if to say what ARE you on about? WHAT bench? You're standing up!!

 

I'm on the FF bench now because my tablet has died. It's less than a year old. OH bought it for my birthday last April, but he didn't keep the receipt so I can't send it back for repair. They are not making them anymore (from a big supermarket chain!) so a replacement will not be an option. D*mn thing won't charge. I've googled and it seems there are LOTS of people having similar issues. I've a few more fixes to try but I'm not very hopeful. The screen flashed random colour bars everywhere before it shut off, never to be resuscitated. Smiley Sad

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Strange day, no good news, but feel at peace with the decision we've made...  Sarcoma consultant was much more 'human' this time and my question to the nurse on Friday had clearly got back to him Smiley Wink He apologised and said he has called a meeting to sort out the communications between departments in breast cases (the numbers of radiation induced AS are increasing) and he is most definitely leading my care! I got the impression, as did OH, that he would have taken the rib section during the mx as wide margins are the most important thing in sarcoma surgery. However, we are where we are. He confirmed that the MDT recommend rads as the least invasive and debilitating option first. There isn't much of a choice, really, but that's the deal with AS. It could come back in the same place or anywhere in my soft tissue with or without the rib surgery.  Having had 16+ months to set up shop prior to surgery it could have travelled already, although scans are clear for now and I have to hold on to that.

 

I have decided I will go for rads first. The op would stop me doing things I enjoy, possibly for a long time, and without any guarantee of a 'cure'.  I need to get on with my life, work out how I am going to live with the anxiety and make the most of the good health I have for now and, hopefully, well into the future.  Thanks for all your crazy humour and support, ladies.  Benchland is a part of my life now - I picture every emotion as a bench!!  Keep it up Smiley Wink Tat xxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Sending hugs Tat.
Jan x
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thanks all Smiley Happy  Bl@@dy terrified about appt tomorrow, but clearer about what questions to ask re options.  Looking into getting a second opinion too, just worried at yet more delays before further treatment.... Angiosarcoma Sucks bench has taken a beating this weekend Smiley Wink

 

Took son back to uni today (final year) Smiley Sad, daughter revising for mocks, so tons of stress chez Tat.  Benchland Brides/Camels Cause Carnage/Norcambe Nuptials wedding planning distractions most welcome, so keep the ideas coming - no pressure! xxxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

ES sent me a text earlier that made me laugh. It seems fitting for Benchland, so I'll share it with you in he hope it makes you smile too:

 

"I'm suffering from mood poisoning. It must have been something I hate" (eg incompetence from medics? BC? Ta'poxy'fen? Lynn? Someone looking at us in a funny tone of voice, someone NOT looking at us.....need I go on? 😜)

 

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, T4T. x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Parachuting?  Who said anything about parachuting?  No, no, no, no!  There will be no parachuting, I draw the line there.  It is not happening.  23 years ago I took my first aeroplane flight and had to face the second in order to get home!  I swore then that my feet would never EVER leave the ground again and they won't!  Not even in Benchland!

 

Another lovely lazy day, library books read and ready to be returned tomorrow.  Real life also resumes tomorrow.

 

Good luck tomorrow Tat, hope you get some news that will help you with your choices.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Am not going to wear the cake on my head while parachuting, don't want it squashed!

Are we having a posy?

Busy day today opened wardrobe and had another clearout, am getting really good about getting rid of things, used to be a terrible hoarder haha! So off to charity shop tomorrow.

Thank you girls for your help will phone doc tomorrow.

All the very best for you tomorrow tat, big hugs coming your way.

Glad your scan was fine grumpy, fingers crossed for good results. xx