It doesn't seem fair at all at our age have got lot of support. Last night was first well technically second night on own since diagnosis firsf night was write off as drank fsid not Friday night and was sick on off Saturday night so being alone didn't effect me but last night it did but I think it's more anxiety woek letting me go mum. Being diagnosed with thyroid Cancer etc so tonight staying my sisters place with hubby kids and dogs il. Be missing lister my cat but best thing tbh xxx
I’m having intravenous chemo at the moment then I will be on Herceptin indefinitely. And the scan is at the end of the course of chemo to see how affective it’s been. Want to talk to the oncologist about trials etc. It definitely is a scary place to be, my future is uncertain at the age of 31 and that doesn’t seem fair. X
I think it is definitely scary as you don't expect it say the least. Wow your scans often I was diagnosed in June had scans then getting follow up 18th November then wait till 11th Dec for results.
Well I was having horrific pain/spasms in neck and skull but cancer deposits there so was both meanwhile had pain in femur got gradually worse thar could barely walk but cancer there too and radiotherapy has helped loads by crushed vertebrae still causes, be agony plus changed brand of lethrzole so pain in joints unreal barely walk in the morning so upped morphine having regular paracetamol half dose naproxin
Is yours tablet form or chemo xxx
Id love to chat, it’s a lonely place being young with secondary and like you I’m hoping I can be around for many years especially considering I have a precious little girl who needs me!
Was the radiotherapy for pain or to target the cancer? I’m on Herceptin/Pertuzamab and Doxytaxel every 3 weeks for 6weeks for now then due to be rescanned x
Hello, ‘love my babies’
ive just read your post and recognise your feelings. It’s 5 months since I was diagnosed with metastatic triple negative breast cancer, and I remember very well the horror of it all and the terror. I am calmer now I’m on treatment but every so often the old cold feeling of fear raises its head and I try to push it back down.
Others might have different thoughts but here are my personal top tips for getting through these first few months :
1) make sure you sleep at night...use/buy/do whatever you can so that you sleep at night. Nights are the worst for bad thoughts and days are so much worse if you’re tired. Use sleeping pills if you need them....i just take 1/2 a zopiclone and I love them! But there are lots of other over the counter things. If you’ve slept well, you feel well and everything is easier to deal with. For me, the first few months were about ‘emotional survival’
2) get referred for all the psychological help you can find. It doesn’t change anything but can be a good outlet for talking things through and you can say awful things that you don’t want to burden your family with
3) start preparing for treatment......get things done that you’ve put off (pay for it to be done if you can, less stressful!), eg niggling household things. Also treat yourself eg new duvet cover, coat....anything to distract and to help you feel good.
Like yourself I'm thirty two diagnosed with breast csncer but secondary to the Bones I was very much in denial about my condition don't get me wrong I cried when first but only properly cried when read up about condition I'm er+hr- so I'm on lethzole zoladex should be having demasaub but calcium too low. I do find particularly difficult as I've never wanted kids but now that I'm in postion where I'm put in menapause state so can have lethzole and most likely unable have kids upset me tbh
Ive had radiotherapy already on lumber thorasic and skull I'm here if you want chat I'm currently trying still deal with the condition and nkw mum been diagnosed with thyroid cancer not good for my mental health when on anti depressants have you been in touch with mscmillan nurse thry amazing round here there is people I various forms who lived with secondary for years xxx
It is such a terrifying place to be isn’t it. I had awful awful thoughts on diagnosis (still do really!), calmed down slightly with a treatment plan but now scared of what is ahead and all the decisions i have to make but as you say the alternative is worse. I really hate being “ill” and all the head tilts etc.
Hold your little girl tight, close your eyes and breathe in that baby smell. That is a nice place to be for a while from all this awfulness. Xx
I'm an older one (and as it turned out wasnt diagnosed secondary) but just wanted to send a massive hug.
I wonder if you are on Face book there is a lovely page on there called breast friends. They have a separate page for sec. Ladies and could add you.
You might want to look at Coppafeel. The very young lady running that charity has been diagnosed secondary for over 10 years xxxx
Hi Love my Babies,
I am now in a similar situation I’m 31years old with an 11week old baby and I’ve been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer with metastasis to my breast bone and spots on my lungs. I’m starting Chemo tomorrow and I’m terrified of the road ahead but more than anything not being there for my little girl as she grows up, I feel hopeless about missing everything, I won’t be there for her when she needs me and I won’t be able to see her get married. How are you getting on with it? X
Hi Love my babies
I have never posted on here before but your post is very similar to how I feel.
I am 39 and have 2 young children, Evie 2.5 and Henry 10 months. I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and following a CT scan, liver and stomach metastasis. The shock of being told this was overwhelming. The days that followed just consisted of tears, anger and total fear of what was to come and leaving my babies behind. Every time I think of them growing up without me I find it hard to breathe. How unfair can life be. They need me and your little beauties need you.
I’ve had 1 round of FEC chemo, 5 more to go. And then I’m not sure of the plan. I’m just praying the chemo does it’s job.
I heard my diagnosis and simply thought that was it, My time was up. But reading lots of posts on here and talking to my oncologist I’m slowly realising that it’s not the end. Not yet. And there’s so much to fight for. I haven’t been given a timescale either, like yourself, I don’t think they really know yet.
It can be a lonely place. I don’t feel like I can talk too much to my closest family about my fears as it upsets them. But I also need to make plans. Future plans for when I’m not around.
Saying that, all I know for sure is that I’m not ready to go anywhere yet. My babies need me and I’m going to put up one hell of a fight for them.
You can do the same. Look at them, and focus all your strength into your treatment and the next steps. Your babies need you and they still have you. I think the hardest part is getting your head straight. The rest will follow. Your babies will help you find the strength to carry on. Enjoy all the moments you have.
You’ve got this xx
Welcome to the forum. So sorry you have had to join us but please know there is so much information and help and support here.
You are newly diagnosed and still in shock but you are not alone. You will find women on here who have been living many many years with breast cancer including secondary and they didn’t even start out on the new meds we have now. The targeted therapy for HER positive has had amazing results and those of us who aren’t HER positive are now also starting to get this type of targeted drug. Don’t read about statistics as they are “ an average” and most statistics take 5 to 10 years to accumulate. You will find many ladies on here with liver secondaries and are living full lives, the meds keep the liver secondaries stable.
Treatment has come on so much in the last few years and more is on the horizon.
Take your time looking around the forum and get familiar with the jargon ask anybody anything no question is a dumb question we have all been where you are.
breastcancer.org is also a good forum, it’s an American site and there is a section for young women diagnosed with secondary’s
Be kind to yourself it takes time to get your head around it .
Hi and welcome to the forum, I'm sorry you are having to deal with so much especially with a young family.
i don't have secondaries but wanted to acknowledge your post and reassure you that there are some lovely ladies here who will be able to help and support you as they are going through the same.
You are still in the early days of diagnosis and will be struggling to process it all and it is perfectly natural to feel panicked and frightened about what is going to happen. We have ladies many years on with secondaries doing very well who I am sure will be along soon to offer you their support.
I think one thing we all agree on here is taking things a step at a time helps us to cope, trying to process the bigger picture is just too overwhelming, I don't know how you feel about maybe taking something to help you get on top of the anxiety but it would be worth a chat to your Gp.
If you feel you are getting overwhelmed the helpline here is wonderful and they will talk through your worries with with understanding and compassion and may be able to join you up with someone going through exactly the same as you are right now.
This is so tough but there is plenty of hope and treatments available amd always help and support here for you Xx