thanks for the good wishes carolyn,hayeswain ,ff,rosie53,and moijan,it was such a relief as i was worried sick ,but nothing unusual there as i do worry over everything ,drive my family mad ,they say if i wasn't worrying i would be dead.
the onco put me on hormone tablets ,explained all the side effects you may get but he said you will possibly feel as though you are going through the change again with hot flushes etc so dont worry about them ,well i never had symptoms before when i went through it so hope he is correct as wont have symptoms at all but will see,and willing to try anything ,
quite cool here today but very pleasant ,hope you are all enjoying the dry weather.
Renee, Glad your new oncologist has soothed your mind!! I'm surprised we aren't all super crazy from the stress of all this!! You made it through and I give you permission for a treat. What will you choose?!? FF
To every lady on here that has helped me over my worries,i had amy appointment today with new oncologist and he put my mind at rest ,
he told me he was not unduly bothred about the rash on my breast ,but he was not sure what it was so wants me to keep an eye on it ,it looks like shingles he said but no pain or itching so not that ,but will do as he says and watch it .
he is going to think about radio therapy for my breast if it continues to weep but not unduly bothered there either as not a great lot ,so i shall see him in 6 weeks time to see how things are going
my bloods were fine ,plus my heart scan was perfect ,my ct scan showed liver and lungs had shrunk slightly ,breast was stable so all in all a good result and a relief for me,,, i stay on herceptin and perjeta until they no longer work and of course no one knows how long that will be ,but he had added a hormone to my meds ,but again have to get in touch if i have bad side effects,he is trying the hormone but will remove it if it doesnt do what he thinks it should or if side effects get too much to bear so he could not be any fairer with me,so thanks again to all you ladies that helped me over the past week or so as i was a mess .
Thank You for that lovely poem, emotions mirroring my own - although I never thought to have anniversary cake (I made it to 12 years) - I may start the tradition now - with a glass of wine maybe!
Renee, Good luck tomorrow!! The scanxiety is awful. I don't know how we do it! I always say bc there is no choice but checking out.
Jellytot, I hope writing your lovely poem has helped you release some anxiety.
Remade, Happy to see you posting. My knees hurt like crazy and hips slightly! I think it's the meds.
Puppy love is t he best! FF
Renee.........best of luck for tomorrow! We're all rooting for you! Don't forget that list of points.
Jellytot.......an amazing poem! Very wise. You didn't make your magic 5, and I didn't make my magic 14! You are right that none of us know what's to come. Some of your friends who have celebrated their 5 years may need your wisdom in a few years time. You will be well placed to help and give support. And there are other health bear traps all of which need solid friends. Thanks for giving us your poem! It made me think!
Well, we have all cooled down today. I have a lovely CHILLY breeze wafting in at my window here. Take care everyone,
thanks for best wishes ,appreciated .
i have been kept busy today as my son visited and has just gone home so the company helped .
what a lovely poem from Jellytot amazing i thought and should be framed as you said .
heard my friends hubby has to go for bone scan, mri scan ,and biopsies all need doing in the next three weeks specialist said so keeping fingers and anything else that will cross well and truly crossed..
much cooler today plus had a few showers and the odd rumble of thunder,but a more pleasant feeling all round.
Thanks Carolyn for your kind reply, I will try the rub ins. I'm glad too that it is not so hot today, got up, put shorts on, realised my mistake, went back up and put jeans on.
Jellytot, lovely poem, thanks for that.
what a fantastic poem and given me a better look at life ,just at the correct time as i have incurable breast cancer with secondary in liver and lung ,plus nodes ,i am going tomorrow for my ct scan results plus heart scan and bloods ,this poem has cheered me up no end as i am dreading seeing the oncologist for the results ,
thank you and take care.
That's so lovely Jellytot - I hope it has helped you writing it. A bit of advice though - forget the candles, have the cake with a glass of champagne 😉🍾🍰 That will show the bloody 'C' who's boss.
Hugs to you and you know we are here holding your hand.
Hello girls, thank you for your lovely hugs and advice. I just wrote this poem:
No More Cake
5 years ago, it's oh so clear,
In the waiting room, the rising fear.
Walking into that stuffy room,
Increasing dread, impending doom.
I'm so sorry, the surgeon mumbled,
And my whole life began to crumble.
I made it though the treatment plan,
Got married to a wonderful man.
I'd been given a reprieve,
We'd picked our kids' names; Alfie, Niamh.
Every year upon this date,
I'd put a cake upon a plate,
Adding candles one by one,
Blowing them out, reflecting, another year done.
Another year of being me,
Another year of cancer-free.
In the blink of an eye, that all has changed,
My whole future rearranged.
Today there's no cake upon a plate,
There's no 5 years to celebrate.
My cancer is back, this time it's worse,
It's like I have some kind of curse.
Stage 4 (or mets) means there's no cure,
So a new plan I must endure.
Treat it for as long as they are able,
Keep it at bay, keep me stable.
The darkest thoughts inside my head,
I'd written myself off, I was already dead.
The oncologist dilutes my fears,
He says "you could have years and years".
There it is, the bubble of hope,
Something to cling on to, to help me cope.
So currently I'm being fried,
With radiotherapy to keep me alive.
They'll take my ovaries, an oophorectomy.
Will I feel less womanly, will I still be me?
Then move on to new hormone pills,
I'm hoping the side effects won't make me ill.
Constant monitoring, blood checking, scans,
Are all a part of my new plan.
As I find my new normal and readjust,
Forgive me, it'll take time to get it sussed.
"Eat Life" a wise friend once said,
I'll seize the now, for no-one knows what lies ahead.
I may have not made the magic five,
But I'm bloody thankful I'm alive.
Hello all of you, I haven't posted in a while as I have been going downhill fast emotionally, I feel ashamed to say that. Bone pain has got so bad now in hips, lower back, I don't know whether it's the everolimus chemotherapy or the denosumab injections, anything I can take that would help????
Morning ..... Nicky thats brilliant news, well done you :). Janette I hope your new addition to the family gives you lots of fun, dogs are great company aren't they and always ready for a cuddle :).
Jelly Tot I really feel for you, I understand you feeling low I really do, but I can promise you gradually it will get easier and you will re booking your holiday again ! (and many more) 🙂
Hi there Nicky.....
yes my hands were burning touching the car insde after
my blood test today. i am due chemo....tomorrow. Glad yours went well.
Hi ladies. When I got in my car after it had been parked for 2 hours in the hospital car park the temperature read 41C! Ouch. Way too warm for me and for most of us. Luckily the chemo ward was fairly cool with plenty of fans and a breeze through the window - its on the 5th floor so if theres any breeze going it will get it. Chemo is going OK, thanks for asking Betty, and my scan results yesterday showed it is having a good effect on my pesky liver met (that grew on the last, unsuccessful treatment). It has shrunk but I'm not sure by how much until I get the report next week, it certainly looked, and measured, smaller on the scan itself on my onc's pc when I saw him yesterday. Everything else seems to be stable as well but I'll wait until I get the full low down before broadcasting it everywhere.
I've managed my daily lolly, currently on strawberry splits, and just about manage to eat it before the sun melts it. Hoping for some cooler weather, especially at night.
ps Lovely to hear about Heidi, Janette, hope she is keeping cool as well!
To Carolyn and all other sweaty Betty's - I hope you are coping with this heat. It's a scorcher here again today in Hampshire, a bit cooler last night but it's picked up very quickly and now it's right back up to scorchio! It's probably the only day I've ever looked forward to having the cold cap - sat here with it on right now and keeping very cool ha ha.
Hi to all newcomers, I've not been posting much over the past week or so, but have been reading like Marie-Louise. I see our own sweaty Betty has welcomed you though so all is good!
I just wanted to say that it's no wonder you are feeling low at the moment. You have been thrust into the world of secondaries which has been a shock as it is for all of us. At a time when you were hoping to hit that 5 year milestone (from primary BC) you find yourself not only having to deal with loads of hospital appointments but also the fact that you can't have children (apologies if I have that wrong but I'm sure it was you that said this). I was 6 months off my 5 year ' anniversary' and my oncologist had actually discharged me from her care as I was doing so well - it was the surgeon's appointment and mammogram 6 months after, and the last one I was due to have, that found my mets. So, from expecting to be released from all those appointments you find yourself having even more than most as you've had rads right from the start. It's so difficult when you see your fellow 'primary' friends being able to move on and it's no wonder you find it difficult to respond to their messages. Like FF I didn't use a forum or similar during primary BC (social media itself hadn't even started ha ha) but this forum has been such a lifeline to me and all of us. We can speak our minds, share our fears, voice our disappointments and generally have a good old moan when we need to and we know we will be understood - unlike with people who are not going through this. Take time to adjust, build in some special treats for days when you are not having to be at appointments and it's absolutely fine to feel sorry for yourself - we all do at times. Generally look after yourself, you will find a way of dealing with this, as we all have, it's not easy but things such as feeling lucky to be still here can and do happen. I have found over the years of having secondary BC I have become more selfish (on purpose!) as I choose to do the things that I want to do, not what everyone else wants me to do, and I do say 'no' to things I really can't be bothered with. For me it's spending time with my family and also those friends that I know are true friends, silly other events or occasions are really not important to me. Sorry, this is me rambling on about what I think but I'm trying to say take time to accept what is happening and do what you want to do, not what others think you should do. That way you will hopefully find a way through this low point.
hi carolyn ,
thanks for the tip about the dog's paws,funnily enough it has been on radio nottingham about the heat and how it effects your pets and this was one thing mentioned.
mia usually goes out 6 am until 7 am and 2 30 until 4pm she is taken by a gent my hubby used to work with and when hubby died he asked if him and his wife could do the dog walking,so he walked jaz my german shepherd i had at that time ,she then passed away with cancer and my son's immediately brought me mia the following day so never without a pet in the home,,,since then arthurs wife has also died from cancer and he is being treat for the disease in his prostrate but still never misses taking mia out so i am very grateful for that .
just starting to feel the hot sun now so going to move into the shade once more .
not much better in bed last night ,but hey we are here and that'sthe main thing
you hit the nail on the head exactly about people talking to the pusher ,annoy me so much as i will sit there and hear them ask ,why is she in the chair?the best one was ,does she have dementia,must admit i swore when i answered the stupid woman and both shocked myself and my son,but it did hurt me all that day ,we were in woolacombe and looking forward to a lovely day ,spoilt by an ignorant woman,but i have to also think of access etc when thinking of the property,but will get somewhere sometime no doubt ,just wish sons would go away and forget about me for two weeks but working on that and i will win in the end as working on a plan .
hope you are ok as you appear to keep this part of the site going with your cheerful mood and imagine all concerned look forward to reading your posts .
Suze, I always say you never know what's going to happen and what you will have to do in life. I'm thankful you are here to celebrate something!! Celebrating is the important part! FF
I have one thing to share. Reports finally finished!!
Jellytot, I had big plans to celebrate ten years cancer free on my 69th birthday. Now I've decided to celebrate just being here. Take care. X
hi again carolyn ,
i would love to come down to lee but doubtful i think ,all kinds of things to consider when in a wheelchair,but one can live in hope so never saay never .
so a funeral bright and colourful ,i prefer that type but my sons see things differently so have had to write down my wishes ,i had a humanist funeral for my hubby and want the same also,
,so hope it isn't too hot for you ,
i am on here later as trying to keep my mind away from this rash ,but friday will soon be here and i will know one way or the other,
thanks for your company.
Awwwww Jellytot, I'm sorry you feel separated from your friends, but glad you found us. With my primary I never felt the need for support, but when secondaries hit I was a frantic mess! I searched the internet for info and found this forum. Hang in there we have your back.
Sweaty ladies, When we first moved here we didn't have AC. We were in our house about 15 years b4 we got our AC downstairs. It was about 20 tears b4 we got one upstairs in our room. I don't know how we stood it. Today it's 86F here and humidity is 40 with a slight breeze. Windows are open no fans or AC.! It's beautiful!! FF
Hi there Jellytot.
am so sorry you are feeling low and quite understand why. You had a peer group to share stuff with and now they all seem ok, so you feel you havent a lot in common. Xx
this weather IS too much for us and hospital visits are an intrusion...sorry you had to cancel your holiday. i nderstand that too.. have to attend two weeks out of every three for my Eribulin and have a oh who isnt really holiday orientated.xx have managed to snatch three nights away with him on Sunday, just for a change of scenery..have not had a holiday since three days in October! So I do understand.
we never know what lies ahead, do we? Your friends all seem to be hunky dory, hopefully that will continue, but most of us here are all adjusting to changes every now and then.....so even if we seem very ok with it, we arent always and you cam share with us.....we do understand xxx
I'm really sorry you're going through this, it must be so hard watching that milestone approach, I'm not suprised you're feeling low.
You're doing the right thing by reaching out, I hope being part of the Forum community is helping.
Becca at Breast Cancer Care.