Carolyn, It is a killer that E & E ruined chocolate for me, too. Today was income tax due date in the US. Then it got cold and started to snow. Luckily no accumulation. Winter doesn't want to give up. Trees are blossoming, though! FF
Yes, not sure if this was to do with my secondary or not but I freaked out and threw the tv remote at the wall....it broke of course!
one day soon after, I was going to a hospital appointment and quickly got ready, picked up the tv remote, leaving my keys on the table and rushed out...locking myself out!
oh wasn’t ecstatic either time
S _ _ mamograms! I had mine regular as clockwork and additional ones too, all normal. My primary in 2013 was an "interval one". Entirely my fault it got so big before I noticed it. Mamogram did pick up my 2nd primary (that's great isn't it) just when I thought I might have beaten the first one. Mets discovered at time of diagnosis of the second primary were actually mets from the first primary.
My coping mechanism has been distraction, work, work, work - no time to really think. At the bleak time of mets diagnosis I did have a 60 second meltdown in supermaket when I screamed my head off and beat hell out of a supermarket trolly (I can vouch that they are utterly indestructable!). I avoided the place for a whole week but then went back 'cos it is my local. I can laugh about that now.
Hello Anne, I don't have secondary's but just wanted to add that my mammogram was clear at diagnosis too, my breast cancer was found via ultrasound and I was told it could have been 5 years before it was detectable on a mammogram which means 3 years on I could still be walking around none the wiser as I'm only 49 and not in the screening program yet.
I see you have lots of support from our lovely ladies here and I hope once you are over the shock of your diagnosis you will find the strength with their help to move forward. Xx Jo
Anne, it is very early days for you and it’s natural that you feel like you do. Believe me I was in a right mess when I first found out! What I was trying to say was even if you’d had your mammogram those years ago, it doesn’t mean it definitely would’ve been found, tumours have to be a certain size to be detected, same goes on CT scans. Stay strong, Kxx
I’m another who was diagnosed straight to stage 4. I had been going to my GP practice for around 4 years saying I could feel something, not every day, but things didn’t feel right. I was already having mammograms which were clear, and they still are! Eventually after I insisted something else was done, I was sent for an ultrasound scan, that showed a small cyst, which I queried but was assured there wasn’t any blood supply and it was just a cyst...I will now never know if that was right...as I still wasn’t convinced I booked to see a different GP at the practice, she again couldn’t feel what I could but said she could see I wasn’t happy so sent me to breast clinic, and I finally got my diagnosis!
I’m just saying that sometimes even tests are inconclusive, my mammogram was still clear on the day I was seen in breast clinic because of that I think the Radiologist only did the biopsy because I was there but again, he was sure it wasn’t anything to worry about! Thank goodness he listened to me and did it!
I’m often asked if I’m angry about it because 4 years is a long time to be told there’s nothing wrong with you, when there clearly was, but what good would that do? Yes, I have moments of what if’s but.....My Onc tells me that clear mammograms, when you have bc, are not as infrequent as you might think. My GP practice is also a very good one, it was just bad luck!
I did all the examining and testing, so please try not to beat yourselves up and stay positive! Kxx
NO ONE ASOLUTELY NO ONE could have been angrier at themselves than I was at first diagnosis of primary in 2013. I hated myself for not noticing a huge lump literally right under my nose. I threw my energy into putting my affairs in order (even then!). Even that huge degree of anger does pass. I know this may be no consolation to you but I can honestly say I understand your feeling of anger completely although we all deal with it differently.
I agree Ann don’t blame yourself...it won’t change anything and upsetting yourself could make things worse....so leave the past as the past, draw a line and step forward into your new care plan ....l.things can only improve once that’s under way.,,,,,
‘’I have always been a worrier, but not once did a worry help me!
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