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Building resilience to help deal with tough times

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Re: Building resilience to help deal with tough times

Hi Ruby, thank you so much!  I am glad they are helpful, often I feel like I am just "ranting"....my keyboard has never seen so much use haha 😂  I think it also helps me feel like I'm doing something useful when I sometimes feel so useless, if that makes any sense 🤔

I love Simone Reeve too! 😍  His documentaries are incredible aren't they?  I often find myself bawling my eyes out at least once during any one of them.  I'm glad to hear they have helped you, they can really make you think differently about your own life.

I'm sorry to hear you have to cope with clinical depression on top of everything else...sending hugs to you xxx It sounds like you have done an amazing thing for yourself though, by finding some small sense of perspective through gratitude...not easy by any means when you have depression (my sister has it so I can sort of relate).  I hope you feel proud of yourself for doing that (you should!) and I hope that you keep finding those little things that keep you going 😊  I'm always happy to chat any time if you ever want to natter 😃

All the best to you too! xxx

 

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Re: Building resilience to help deal with tough times

Hi Gillyflower,

I think it sounds like you are doing great in terms of a positive attitude. I really related to you mentioning ‘gratitude’. I have found watching documentaries by Simon Reeves have really helped me, wish I could say that I have done loads of reading like you 😀. With Simon’s documentaries, the focus is on people’s lives and for them most of it can be a daily struggle and full of hardship.  I unfortunately have clinical depression and whilst I was waiting for my new antidepressants to work, the documentaries cemented a strong sense of gratitude and lifted a dark cloud.  

Anyway, thank for you all your posts, I find them very insightful.

Best wishes to you xxxx

 

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Re: Building resilience to help deal with tough times

Ahh you're so welcome!  Sorry to hear you're feeling low today, I can empathise as I think the hot weather has a similar effect on me.  Sending hugs 🤗 xx

I don't know if anyone else has had similar thoughts, but after I watched this talk, I found myself thinking how easy it us for us with secondaries to get stuck in the "cancer bubble" of life.  Certainly for myself, I realised how self-absorbed this disease can make me be (which I realised can be quite unhealthy at times as I feel a lot of grief / anger / resentment / envy generally, which I then let influence my views of the rest of life). 

I also had to admit that there are definitely much much worse things than cancer that could have happened to me but didn't (I've recently been reading lots of biographies of people who have endured human trafficking, slavery, living in totalitarian states eg. North Korea). 

It made me feel sincerely grateful that things weren't worse for me.  Then somehow I felt much more lighthearted afterwards.  Gratitude is such a humbling and motivating feeling, so now more than ever, I promise myself to keep sticking with my gratitude list / meditation every day 😊

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Re: Building resilience to help deal with tough times

Thanks for posting this Gillyflower. I've felt so low today - I suspect the heat isn't helping as I don't do really hot weather well. 

This post is what I needed. I used to write down things I'm grateful for every day but lately, and especially since going through chemo, I've forgotten to do it. I'm going to build resilience and do it again.

Thank you x

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Re: Building resilience to help deal with tough times

Thank you for sharing Gillyflower, a useful toolbox. 🙂

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Re: Building resilience to help deal with tough times

Hi Gillyflower,

Thank you so much for sharing this - I’ve had years of therapy and counselling mainly due to long-standing mental health issues. The last therapist I saw did mention the word ‘resilience’ to me, no one else had ever mentioned that to me before. Perhaps I was just ready to hear the word and try and act on it.  So when I saw your post, I knew I had to see this. Having watched it, I will try and use the 3 steps mentioned. Last but not least, I take my hat off to the Speaker for her own courage and resilience. 

Thanks again for sharing xxxx

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Re: Building resilience to help deal with tough times

Thanks for sharing that Catokitty!  I try to do that every day as well, though some days I forget...it is such a small simple thing and it does make a massive difference xxx 🤗

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Re: Building resilience to help deal with tough times

Thank you very much for this.  I write down three positive things every day in my diary, three things I am grateful for, and I have found this a big help in lifting my mood.   All the best xx

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Building resilience to help deal with tough times

I watched this TED talk today and found some of the suggestions really helpful.  I wanted to share it in case it is of any help to anyone struggling right now.   

Its not a talk about cancer.  Its a general talk about how people can use simple techniques to help them cope better when times are tough, how we can find resilience in the face of adversity, grief and loss.

https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_hone_3_secrets_of_resilient_people?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=...

If you don't want to watch the video you can click on the "Transcript" button underneath the video and read the talk instead 😊