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Freaking hard

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Re: Freaking hard

I have a burning pain across my breast that  keeps me awake at night and now pain in my upper left back. It is scaring me plus I have to decide if I am going away to the US in two weeks. Worried about health insurance, Coronavirus. Not sure if it is anxiety, in my head or real. Next cat scan not for 2 months. Onc says go if you are feeling well. Feel that it could be my last trip to Florida. Ugh. I hate this!!!

Hate to sound selfish. Such lovely positive comments by others.

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Re: Freaking hard

Hope it stays that way Jennie xxx

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Re: Freaking hard

Wow its good you discovered that fluid and didn't fly. Thank you for your thoughts on pain. I've felt better this morning so maybe unrelated to cancer. Hopefully so.

Take care

 

Jennie xx

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Re: Freaking hard

Hi Jennie

 

It was fluid on the lung which led to my diagnosis...18 hours before I was due to get on a 12 hour flight, so probably lucky I didn’t fly.

 

After the fluid was drained it doesn’t seem to have come back. I’m not sure I’d know what liver pain is. I do occasionally get sharp stabbing pains in my side which take me by surprise.

 

I think it’s very hard to know what pain relates to cancer, the effects of treatment or just general old age creeping in but if you have any doubts it might be best to mention it to your team.

 

Take Care

 

Daffodil xxx

 

 

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Re: Freaking hard

Morning Kinden

 

Glad to hear that your side effects are under control - that makes it all a little bit easier.

 

I’m ER+ PR+ and HER+ and like you was on Tamoxifen for 9 years. I never thought I would agree to chemo again but the will to survive seems to take over 😉

 

Daffodil xxx

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Re: Freaking hard

Hi I'm on the same meds as you. I'm in the 4th cycle now and as you say all manageable.  I had a scan 2 mths ago which was too early as only had meds for 2 mths. This showed fluid on my lung and stable liver. Now my breathing is thankfully so much better in hopeful the next scan will show an improvement there. But this weekend I've had liver pain! Every change is scary. Have you had any pain? It's like a mild nagging stitch. Paracetamol eases it but it returns. I'm not sure whether to leave it or report it to onchologist. I hate this xx

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Re: Freaking hard

Hi Daffodil,

 

i'm ER+ and PR+ and HER-

Am currently on Ribociclib, fulvestrant and denosumab, all very manageable as regards side effects. I had chemo with my primary followed by 10 years of tamoxifen.

Kinden xx

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Re: Freaking hard

Hi Kinden

 

Your “excellent partial” shrinkage sounds like very positive news to me.

 

Would you mind me asking what treatment you are on? I started a course of Docetaxel, Herceptin and Perjeta 10 days ago and although I’m definitely on the way back up I’m just waiting for my hair to fall out...the tingly head feeling has started...

 

Spring definitely helps to lift the spirits doesn’t it...especially after all the awful rain?

 

Take Care xxx

 

 

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Re: Freaking hard

Oh my word, yes it is freaking hard!

 

Daffodil, I was more scared about childbirth the second time as I knew from the first how much it hurt!!!!

my primary was in 2008 when I had just turned 38, secondaries in remote lymph nodes diagnosis see last October. Have had a scan after 3 months of treatment- result was "excellent partial" shrinkage of all tumours - just like "extensive moderate", what is this supposed to mean??

 

Hope everyone is enjoying some sunshine and daffodils today 

Kinden xx

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Re: Freaking hard

Hi - yes that’s a very similar situation isn’t it? The letter the oncologist sent to my GP said the cancer was extensive but moderate...goodness knows that means?

 

What I hadn’t appreciated as I got on with my crazy life after the first bout was that we have a 1 in 3 chance of it returning (head in the sand I guess?).  

I’ve also come to the conclusion that Chemo is like childbirth and you don’t quite remember how awful it was until you go in for a second time 🤯 

xxx

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Re: Freaking hard

my story is quite similar to yours. Diagnosed at age 40, then secondary diagnosis 8 years ago, now have bone Mets, ? Spot in liver and small spots in lungs. Waiting as usual for next CT scan. Ugh!

Have told a few close friends but most people just deny it .... say that I will continue to be fine. I haven’t told others as don’t want people feeling sorry for me. I don’t know what is the best choice here.
 It is amazing how you adapt however. Am no longer crying every night and am keeping busy. Probably in denial as well. This is a very supportive sight. So great to see women and men still getting on with life, raising families in, working, hoping for better futures. Hang in!

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Re: Freaking hard

Freaking Hard is what it is!

 I’m newly diagnosed with mets in bone, liver and lung. Until mid Jan I thought I was one of the lucky ones...having been (or what I thought) clear for 10 years. I hadn’t even felt ill, just a few aches and pains which I put down to 8 years of Tamoxifen.

 

I was diagnosed with primary in Feb 2010 (4 months after I hit the big 40) then was diagnosed with secondary in Feb 2020 soon after turning 50 (I milestone I well and truly celebrated).

 

What I’m coming to realise is that this is one lonely club that I don’t want to be part of but it’s who I am and I might as well get on with it (or hang up my boots).

 

I’ve found comfort in so many of the posts on this group so thank-you all 😃



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Re: Freaking hard

Just want to add, it’s not all down days, on the whole I live a very happy full life!

x

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Re: Freaking hard

Thanks for the honest answer. Appreciate it.

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Re: Freaking hard

Thanks so much for the encouraging news. I appreciate it.

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Re: Freaking hard

It is very hard Hurshybear!!

 I am now 6 years from bone mets dx and 8 weeks since I was told the little blitters have decided to pay my liver a visit now too. 
As Annie has already said you are strong and you will surprise yourself at just how strong you can be (and already are!) it’s totally fine to have down day’s and break down in tears.....we’re allowed too!!!

About 18 months ago I really hit rock bottom and felt like I was losing the plot and my sbn suggested I had some counselling and it was the best thing I did and I’m actually having it again now since the liver progression, it’s not for everyone but has really helped me deal with things, I also take a very low dose antidepressant.

x

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Re: Freaking hard

Hi hurshybear, 

 

you’re right it’s so bloody hard. I fall apart and cry at least 10 times a day, sometimes more. It’s the worst thing to be told. ( I’m only 3 weeks post secondary diagnoses) I start treatment this week and I’m so anxious about it. What I can tell you is the treatments they are giving us are very effective and have good results for a long time which is what we all want. What’s your diagnoses and what treatment are you on? Sending you a big hug xx

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Re: Freaking hard

It’s not only freaking hard, it’s freaking awful! You are allowed to fall apart, and I’m impressed it’s only at night. Your GP can help you with night time wobbles, or you could try herbal I needed quite a lot of support to keep me going and to find my new ‘normal’.........if there is such a thing. I ended up not even liking this person I had become, and really grieved for who I was and what I thought I’d lost. What I’ve come to realise is that I’m a very strong person to have come through this treatment, as you are. And it takes real guts and courage to get up each day and carry on. So, here’s to you, 🍾🥂, a strong and determined woman. X

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Freaking hard

This is so freaking hard at times. Everyone is so busy with life, planning trips, moving on. No one can really appreciate or understand what we are going through. I am strong all day long but fall apart at nighttime.