So here I am again....

Third time now. Not sure how I’m feeling, numb, annoyed, angry. 
The first time was found at the mobile screening unit in May 2012, DCIS, high grade, age 54. Had a lumpectomy, then a second one to get clear margins, followed by 3 weeks of radiotherapy, finishing in October. I went off and put it all behind me.
Then in June 2013, after my first follow up mammogram I was diagnosed with a recurrence, again high grade DCIS with micro invasions, and more widespread than the first time. I had a mastectomy and immediate reconstruction with LD flap and implant, clear nodes. Lots of problems with the reconstruction (lymphoedema, luckily short lived, limited movement in my shoulder, weaker back). However through a combination of Bowen Therapy, massage, and various types of exercise recently I’ve felt like I’ve got my body back, and was in quite a good place. 
A couple of weeks ago I went for my first mammogram since my 5 year follow up appointments finished, was recalled, and told very quickly that I have a lump in the other breast. Grade 2,invasive. I’m awaiting ER and HER2 results.

I’ve asked for a mastectomy with an immediate reconstruction, just an implant though. It seemed the right decision, my surgeon wasn’t surprised I asked and I will have the surgery at the end of December. I’m waiting to hear if I’ll need any other treatment. I seemed to get off so lightly last time I’m a bit worried that this time there will be more. 
Sorry this is so long , there’s a lot to explain

Hi paintedlady

I am sending you warm thoughts and good wishes, and I hope your surgery at the end of December went well. I hope 2020 brings you many more good things than 2019 did.

If you you’d like to chat to one of our nurses about anything, please do not think twice. We are here on freephone 0808 800 6000, and we’re always happy to chat.

Sending you our love

Bernard

Hi paintedlady,

I’m in a similar position to you. My first diagnosis was in 2010 - grade 3, invasive, no node involvement. I had lumpectomy (like you, needed 2 goes), chemo, radio, herceptin, 5 years tamoxifen and am now on letrozole. Despite all that, I had got my life back, qualifying as a teacher in 2013 and cancer was just an occasional worry. 

Then in August last year I was called back after a routine mammo and found out I have DCIS in the other breast. I’ve had 3 surgeries since then but the area of abnormal cells was much larger than expected so I’m waiting for a date for a mastectomy and reconstruction, followed by radiotherapy. My pre-op assessment is this Friday. 

I have to say I don’t really know most of the time how I feel - it’s such a jumble. One day I can be really positive, relieved that it wasn’t secondaries and that I don’t need chemo this time. The next day I’m in bits that I’m going to lose a breast and frustrated that I can’t work (as a supply teacher, if I don’t work, I don’t get paid). 

So virtual hugs to you. This is not an easy path we’re on - cancer casts a long shadow - but we will get through it, just like we did the last time.