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Help for a 20-something


Re: Help for a 20-something

Hi Seabreeze


Thank you so much for your reply. I would never have thought about, or even have known about, any of the suggestions you've made. Really appreciated!


Like you say, we put so much focus on the diagnose and active treatement part of things that once it was all over we sort of assumed everything would go back to normal, but if anything that's just the start of the journey. The coming to terms with everything that has happened and how it's now part of life and the various aspects of that is something else all together.


Thanks again for your help. Much appreciated.




Re: Help for a 20-something

Hi Roger,


Good of you to post on the forum re possible support for your partner. 


It's positive that she's made her way through treatment and is back at work. As I'm sure you are aware it's not at all uncommon for the other aspects of having/having had breast cancer to linger and cause anxiety etc. There is quite a lot of support out there, and it probably depends on what she'd prefer or feel most comfortable with. 


Forums - there is a younger women's part of the forum, in the going through treatment section. I believe the younger women's forum is also on Facebook - not on there myself but I'm sure a fellow forum user will enlighten us!


Breast Cancer Care events - look in the events section of this website, there are weekend sessions for younger women, plus moving forward courses (I went on one of these after active treatment and found it good).


Specialist counselling for cancer patients - all breast cancer treatment hospitals are supposed to provide counselling services. I had some sessions when I returned to work, after having got through treatment thinking I was as ok as could be expected. At my hospital the counsellor was a specialist clinical psychologist in cancer care. She was fantastic, just at talking through matters, concerns, feelings, and providing a supportive angle. Probably best to access by contacting the breast cancer care nurse at the hospital where your partner was treated.


Counselling accessed via GP - however from my personal experience I found the above better.


Shine - www.shinecancersupport.com     This organisation holds events and activities for young people in their 20's 30's and 40's who have had a cancer diagnosis....i.e.all cancers, mixed sex. They have various groups in different parts of the country. Look at the website to see if there is anything near you.


Maggies centres - at some hospitals in U.K., provide range of support, talks on topics, even yoga classes etc. Have a look at their website.


The Haven

I think the Haven is only London based, but someone may correct me on this. Again they provide a variety of sessions, talks, alternative therapy etc.


I was diagnosed in my early 40's and I think there is an element of many of us which thinks that once active treatment is completed we should be ok. But this is sooooo not the case, for the reasons you mention, plus longer term concerns, and side effects on ongoing medications, let alone the rest. Hence the centres and groups above are for women who are still undergoing active treatment or who are through that stage and trying to get back to a new normal.


Besides the above, I would suggest making sure you do things that you both enjoy outdoors, without any pressure on energy levels etc, e.g. If your partner likes walking perhaps a trip to the coast might provide a breather. Yoga, mindfulness etc are also helpful for body and soul.


I hope this helps you work with your partner to get her some support.


All the best







Help for a 20-something

Not really sure how to start this to be honest. My girlfriend is 27 and was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. She's had a surgery, results where as good as they could be and she is now back at work and physically recovered amazingly well.


The problem is that mentally she is still no-where near recoverd. Last year was such a blur and now life has sort of gone back to normal, it all seems to have hit home and I see how she's being dragged further and further down. She has really supportive friends, and I am obviously always there to support here but I just don't know what to do to get that spark back in her eyes and living the life any normal 27 year old should be.


I'm not to sure how these forums work but if there is anyone who has any suggestions in terms of what I can do for her, or if there are any activities/forums/groups etc I can suggest to her to look into that would be really appreciated.