Support for children whose mum has BC

Connect to people like me Pregnancy and children
1

Hi. I was diagnosed last week and although I’m not coping too badly myself at the moment, my ten year old daughter is having a very difficult time.

Her main concern at the moment isn’t the cancer; it’s that she thinks I’m going to die during the operation.

Does anyone have any advice or know of any support groups for children whose mums have BC?

Thanks, Mel.

2

Hi Mel,

I’m sure other members will be able to offer helpful information and support.

In the meantime I thought our publication about talking to your children might be of some help.  I’ve attached the link:

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/sites/default/files/bcc50_psb_talkingwithyourchildren_hb_v6.pdf

The book for children “Mummy’s Lump” may be a bit young for your daughter but I have attached a link to that as well for you to have a look at:

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/sites/default/files/Mummy’s%20lump.pdf

Also you could talk things over with our helpliners.  (Opening times 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. 0808 800 6000)

Very best wishes

Janet

BCC Moderator

3

Many thanks Janet. I’ll take a look. The worst thing for her is the operation rather than the cancer. She saw me go through a very rough time 12 months ago with hysterectomy. She keeps having nightmares that I’m going to die during the op. Bless her. She’s just hitting puberty, SATS, and now this!!

4

Thanks Joanne. I can’t take her to a ward as I’m going to a private hospital, though beginning to wonder if I should have bothered! Will keep talking things through at her pace. I’m seeing breast care nurse on Thursday so will get some tips from her on talking to my little one. Thanks. X

5

Hi Joanne. It’s tough!!! Everything has been changing quickly, which is making it more difficult for all of us. For example, I was told I’d be having a lumpectomy, but after asking for MRI, I’m now having mastectomy. The grade has gone up, the hospital stay has increased etc. so all difficult.

She has her good moments, but I think she needs to see me reasonably well after the op so she can see I’m getting better.

Thanks for thinking about me. Op on Tuesday 19th so wish me luck!! xxx

6

Thanks Joanne. This weekend will involve a total **bleep** up with friends and family! Then back to basics. X

7

Hi Mel, just wanted to say good luck for Tuesday. My mum and sister have had bc. My mum sadly passed away in July but my sister is doing fine. Her 12 year old daughter has been very low though and they offered her counselling. Sometimes it’s good to be able to speak to someone who’s not in the family because you can talk about fears and feelings without worrying if it’s going to upset anyone. Maybe it’s worth asking if they have a counselling service for your daughter? Or maybe meeting other children who have mums affected might help? Sending lots of love and courage. She’s a lucky girl to have such a caring mum x

8

Hi Joanne. Thank you. So far, so good!! Had op Tuesday morning and came home yesterday afternoon! I was surprised to be out so quickly. Drain in, so district nurse will visit until it can be removed. See consultant on 28th for “the report”… Will find out next steps etc then.

Daughter is much better now this bit’s over. I haven’t shown her the wound yet… One step at a time, though she’s ok with the drain.

Thanks for thinking of me! Not been on here as it’s not too easy on my phone and not going on laptop, or they’ll expect me back at work!!

Hope you’re ok. Mel. xxx