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newly diagnosed with very young children

Booby Blue

Re: newly diagnosed with very young children



Just wanted to say 'hi' - I've also recently been diagnosed (6th April) but with a grade 3, Oestrogen & Progesterone positive (lymph node negative) cancer. 


I can't really offer any treatment 'pearls of wisdowm' - I've had a lumpectomy (5 days after diagnosis!) and am still waiting on test results (it's all i seem to do atm) to find out what treatment might be best for me.  But I do have a 4 year old little boy.  He's at preschool 3 days a week, and is due to start primary school in September.  One of the first people I told was his pre-school, knowing I was going to need their help in all sorts of ways to ensure he has some sort of normal / familiar / stable / ... in his little life.  And they have been amazing - offering far more support than I had thought about.  I also sent them a link to "Mummy's Lump" - if you haven't been given a copy yet, ask your Macmillan nurse for it - so they knew what he was being told.


I think, atm, the hardest part for my son is that I can't pick him up when he wants - I used to give him piggy backs, and carry him in a sling and all sorts, especially as my husband has a back problem and also can't do these things.  Having had surgery, and he's seen the scars, I think he better understands why, and has become more gentle with me (on my 'bad side' at least!) 🙂  


Only thing I can think to add is, remember "don't be afraid to ask": whether that's asking your doctors every question 10 times to help you understand what's happening or your family & friends for support with looking after your children / buying groceries / cooking meals / cleaning the house... 


Re: newly diagnosed with very young children

Hi emac 


How are you doing? I was diagnosed with triple negative (stage 1 grade 3, clear nodes) back in June 2016. I had chemo first and then went on to have a mastectomy. I also have 2 children, although they were older than yours when I was going through treatment. They are now 8 and 10. 


It it is a scary and anxious time, especially the waiting before treatment starts. I wish I knew about this forum when I was going through it all. Please stay away from Dr Google. There’s a lot of negative stuff out there, completely out of date and not to mention rubbish. I learnt the hard way. I told my breast care nurse and my oncologist my findings. They instead gave me the facts that were relevant to my pathology results.


you may find that there will be days that might be harder than others while going through treatment. That’s ok! Ask for help when you need it. You’ll still be mom but you need to put yourself first for the moment. Sending you a big hug.xx


Re: newly diagnosed with very young children

Hi Emac,
Wanted to reply and give you some support. So sorry you find yourself here. My daughter is 20months and I’ve just had to have a mastectomy due to high grade, wide spread dcis. So not the same situation as you at all, but it’s amazing how these little people help pull you through. I think having my daughter helped me to get up and about that bit quicker than I would have. I hope you have lots of support around you and you’ll be amazed at how well you and them cope I am sure. Good luck xx

Re: newly diagnosed with very young children

I'm replying to you just really to give you abot of support and yo wish you well with your treatmemt. I was 48 when i was diagnosed with cancer but not your type...I had a mastectomy...
Hope you are coping...all the best...
Jane xx

newly diagnosed with very young children

just been diagnosed with triple negative, grade 3, lymph node positive cancer. I have a nearly 3 year old and an 8 week old baby. Im having a staging PET CT tomorrow and the plan is for chemo then surgery then radiotherapy at this point. Im feeling a bit overwhelmed and in shock plus the thought of going through all that with such tiny children is a bit scary.Running around after a toddler and being up all night with a newborn is hard enough! Has anyone done anything similar who can tell me its all going to be ok?