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1 year on

7 REPLIES 7
sarahlousie
Member

Re: 1 year on

Hi ladies,

Today it is exactly one year since I was dx with BC, not sure how I feel, sort of very mixed feelings, trying to remember what my life was like before the dx, I was happier but stressed, oh and i had a lot more hair (although that is growing back now), it is weird to think dealing with this s%*t for a year and it has passed so quickly, not thinking about it nearly as much as in the beginning but still is not out of my mind totally don't suppose it ever will be but I do have a lot to be grateful for and I have learned a lot about myself and how I relate to others, still facing challenges daily and trying to workout what to do with the rest of my life, I really hope I get there and find what it is I'm to do.

Before all of this I was the stereotypical tortured artist trying to make a name for myself(with very little success)working very hard doing 'normal' job on nightshifts to pay my way, drifting for what seemed like years, everything was so career focused, I had a plan to get my art career off the ground then to have children, part of that plan will never become a reality for me as I am now in early menopause all thanks to chemo/tamoxifen, so children are out of the question, this is a big regret, one of my friends suggested I adopt something I would dearly love to do but have BC secondaries and don't think I would be allowed to adopt also is it really 'right' or 'fair'given that my life expectancy might not be that long, of course noone knows how long anyone is going to live but its something that constantly crosses my mind.

Sorry for the way this post sounds a bit sad, but it is sad, very very sad, like I said I am truly grateful for everything I have and for the most precious gift of all my life, but that does'nt stop me from grieving for the life I might of had.

Love and congratultions to all survivors
Sarahlouise
xxxxx

Loocie
Member

Re: 1 year on

Thanks Roadrunner 🙂 A very intersting read - reassuring too.

I'm approaching two years post treatment but have suffered dreadfully from Tamoxifen side effects (I also had problems withe FEC and TAX), and all three aromatose inhibitors....I'm now on something completely different and am still struggling. I thought the endocrine tx would be the 'walk in the park', but have really had a battle with it. I feel like there are days when I am barking mad, and others when I function really well.

Thanks for sharing the article, if nothing else it will help others to understand how I feel as it sums up quite well the complexities of recovering 🙂
x

grumpy
Member

Re: 1 year on

Hello everyone. I have printed out and read this article several times, and it has been SO helpful. I finished treatment 12 months ago (neo-adjuvant letrozole, surgery and rads) and have been feeling I'd lost the focus on 'getting well' that I had during that time. This article has put me back on track by making explicit lots of half-formed thoughts that were in the back of my brain. And of course it is reassuring to know that we are experiencing normal reactions to our cancer experience.

I'd recommend the article to anyone.

RoadRunner
Member

Re: 1 year on

Hi Angie,

What you are feeling is quite normal.

You may find the following link useful. It is an article about dealing with life after treatment finishes:

http://www.cancercounselling.org.uk/northsouth/extra4.nsf/WebResClient/1761049276601BD68025735B00604...

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: 1 year on

Hi Angie - I'm completely with you. During my treatment last winter I felt like I coped really well and was ok with everything. A year on and I fell apart. Around the anniversary of my diagnosis I couldn't stop crying, felt really sad etc. The final straw was when I got panic attacks, especially when driving and I sought help which was the best thing I did. I visited a physiologist who firstly assured me this was normal and reminded me I'd been through a v v v scary thing and so crying is ok. Next she gave me lots of techniques to help me relax - so that I don't le t my thoughts spiral out of control and I'm learning to rein in the bad thoughts and deal with things better,

It's a lot lot harder harder than it sounds, but I'm getting there. Exercise really helps, especially yoga. I'd also recommend the "Cancer survivors handbook" - I got a copy from my library and I found that it described me perfectly.

we have been throughout a terrible time and just when everyone else thinks we just pick up from where we have left off, we find that we cannot. You aren't going mad and you are allowed to feel angry/sad/upset - and it's ok to ask for help. Good luck!

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: 1 year on

hi
i'm 7yrs DX we get through the treatment cos we have to is harder after when it's all over cos that is when we have time to think!!
Before was so busy and felt so ill. Is hard to 'get your life back' I'm still struggling so take it one day at a time. Have you thought of getting some counselling?
lol Rehana

Jo_BCC
Member

Re: 1 year on

Hi Angie1963

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, you've come to the right place for some good, honest support from the many informed users of this site.

While you are waiting for replies I have put for you below links to a couple of BCC's publications you may find helpful.

Moving forward resource pack:

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/about-breast-cancer-care/moving-forward-resource-pa...

Moving Forward: Support
http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/moving-forward/moving-forward-support-people-living...

I hope this helps. Take care,
Jo, Facilitator

Guest user
Not applicable

1 year on

throw my treatment i joked about it throw op cheom rad and was happy go lucky why after all that i get so down and cant bounce back can anybody help please