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12 years and wham

26 REPLIES 26
delly
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Hello lovelies,

I'm just rereading and reconnecting with you's.

Bernadettah - I can't believe what a dreadful time you've had. And since 2002! FLIP (that's being polite!!). I take my hat off to you with how you've coped/managed with all your repeated long lengthy chemo treatments. That's a helluva bodily and emotional battering. Can't believe your misfortune with all of this. How are you at the mo'? GOOD, I hope? You deserve a major award - certainly have one winging your way from me, even if it's a only a humongous virtual <<HUG>> I had mast 2005 and 2006, with full ANC with both. Caught early so didn't require chemo with either. Considered myself soooo lucky in that respect, but unlucky to have last both at 45yrs. But YOU have made me feel even more fortunate.That's one of the things with this 'ere wonderful Forum - puts you in touch with people who've not only been through the same, but those who've been through faaaar, faaaar WORSE. Makes me feel grateful, but aware and, quite frankly, humble and compassionate towards yourself and anyone else similar xxxx

 

Helloboys - Great on your news of no chemo. Did you get your much looked forward to walking in Spain hol, end of April?? And how are your Mum and MIL now??

How's you Jill?? Any better??

Love to everyone

Delly xxxxxxxxx

Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

I had complete lymph clearance in 2005 (28 I think). Just fed up with this stuff now to be honest.
Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

I'm doing okay thanks. Am actually on aromisan and waiting for dexa scan results to determine if I need bisphosphonates. Mother and mother in law quite poorly at the moment so they are ensuring I'm not wallowing in my own misfortune. Thank you f4 asking.

delly
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Hey Helloboys, Bernadettah, Jillywilly1998,

Apologies, I've been off radar for a few months.

How are you all.

How goes it Helloboys? Are you okay? What news on your current self and this flippin BC biz?

Much love to everyone

Delly xxxxx

bernadetteh
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Hi again, I also didn't have chemo for my 4th BC, but had already had it on the 3 occasions before. I also had complete node clearance in 2002. I suspect like me your node is very high up in your arm. I was seeing my Oncologist every 8 weeks after my 4th diagnosis, but now back down to every 6 months. I had the surgery January 2015 and my Oncologist expected the cancer to return the same year! NED presently!

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: 12 years and wham

Good news ,fingers crossed .
Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

No chemo 'for now'. Will be back on arimidex and have 3 monthly reviews. A bit of a wait and see game....

Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Well, tomorrow is D day re treatment plan. Absolutely hope it's not chemo again, but if that's the case will I be panicking thinking chemo saved me the last time.... totally conflicting feelings tonight, I absolutely hate this uncertainty.

delly
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

YEY Helloboys, am loving your attitude to kicking it in the "proverbials" anyway. Have a bloomin fantastic time. Am a fellow walker, so enjoy.

Thanks also for the up on TN explanation - am not too sure what impact that means. Things have changed so much since my BC time.

Much love to all xxxxxxxxx

Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Was going to Spain, correction AM going to Spain, regardless of results on 27th. If it's 'just' arimidex that will be super, if it's chemo, I'll need a Hickman and I'll want to boost my stamina and fitness a bit before that. Always enjoy 'tough' walks in Spain 😎

Think B's TN is triple negative. 

delly
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Yey Helloboys - glad all went well with your op, and am not surprised you slept well Smiley Very Happy  Sooo Sorry about your flight having to be cancelled - bummer. Where were you going?? It's a bit of an elusive and surprising  bu**er, this BC - isn't it.  Massive "fingers crossed" for your results on the 27th being the least, but best, if you get what I mean. 

Bernadettah - thats been a gawd awful tough time for you. What do you mean by TN??

 

Much love to everyone on here, good luck with results,

Dellywelly xxxxxxxx

Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Thank you. 4th bc??? Oh my gosh😒. How do you stay sane? I had full clearance after my 1st round so not exactly sure where this latest lump set up shop. I'm thinking it was maybe a bit of residual breast tissue from my mast in 2005. I'm much more calm now as the surgery is over and my drain came out yesterday too so I 'look' normal again. Obviously the results are crucial with regard to a treatment plan and the surgeon has moved from a position prior to surgery of ' it will more than likely be surgery followed by arimidex' to a post surgery comment of 'well, the possibility of chemo is there but we will talk at the pathology review' so I'm prepping myself mentally. 

bernadetteh
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Hi Helloboysimback,

My 4th BC after my doucle mastectomy was also a node under my arm which was 5cm of TN. That was removed in January 2015 and since then Im in perfect health. Good Luck with your results x

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: 12 years and wham

Good to hear from you, helloboys & speedy recovery.
Defo get on that ✈️ !
ann x
Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

All done and dusted for now. Op went ok, lost a bit of my tram but not much, just have to wait for pathology which will be delayed a bit because of the Easter break. D day is 27th April. Will find out then if it's 'just' arimidex or chemo again. Home yesterday complete with drain but hopefully that will come out tomorrow once the output is under 50mls - this mornings level was 70. Couldn't believe how well I slept last night, I think all the tiredness from the stress finally caught up with me. Had a flight booked for 22nd, but won't be on it which is a bit annoying - I could do with a break😂😂. Still, if the news is 'good' on 27th, I'm sure a trip somewhere will be organised. 

 

delly
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Hope all goes well for you on Wednesday, Helloboys. xxxx

Let us know how you go on, will yer please.

Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

MIL is doing ok. Had 2 stents fitted on Friday and was allowed home at 11pm. Much loved stayed with her overnight and has been popping in to see her regularly. 

Had my pre-op assessment today and everything is fine except for my erratic blood pressure (this has always been an issue though) it's monitored but although it can go very high, because it falls to 'normal' within minutes, meds are not an option as they could put me into a low pressure scenario which wouldn't be good if driving etc. I have NEVER done anything easy!

All good to go on Wednesday provided there is a bed for me. I don't know how I will cope if there isn't. Our poor NHS is creaking. Ironically I do have Aviva Medical insurance - with cancer cover, but there isn't a hospital in my region on their list which can cover me. There USED to be, but not this year..... 

i really do not know how much more I can have shovelled onto my plate without it breaking, lack of a bed on Wednesday might just be my tipping point. Hopefully all will be okay though and I can paste my smile on again.

delly
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Well, thank GAWD, your scans were CLEAR - yaaaaahooooey. That's SOMEthing, even if it's just ONE thing that's positive for you. Jeez, I'm not surprised you're feeling so P'ed and Flipped (polite!) off with and at life, woman. 

I too am sooo sorry to hear about your MIL, on top of your hellish probs. How is she doing??

 

Sooo, you have surgery scheduled for this Wednesday. What's that gonna be? if you feel like talking about it. Please let it all out on here - in fact I think you ought to have a permanent intravenous connection !! We can take ANY amount of ranting, swearing, steaming, sobbing - tell yer. Lots of big, broad, but soft shoulders anytime, and hugs to you in abundance, girl.

My heart truely does go out to you, and I shall be thinking of you Wednesday with loadsa loving, healing thoughts.

You've kept kicking back all this time - please do KEEP kicking. We wanna help you all we can. Oh, and I used to be a very "private" person too, so I know what you mean. You'll find it helps a lot to offload your angst, frustrations and fears.

 

Much love to you Helloboys

Delly xxxxxxx

Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

 
Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Thanks. I'm usually a VERY private person but at the moment feel the need to scream somewhere! Tomorrow is another day and, it is what it is.

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: 12 years and wham

hi helloboys,
Damn, what a b**ch, having to go through all this again & sorry to hear about MIL. As ever, life has a way of throwing a shed load of *stuff* all at once...
Well, its good the scans are clear.
do come & vent whenever you need to
take care & hugs
ann x


Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Well I am in the **bleep** again. Invasive lobular, same as last time. Thankfully ct scan shows organs are clear, found this baby on 21st Feb, having surgery on Wed 12th April. First time around found lump on 26th May and had surgery 23rd June. Longer gap this time......Stress on the NHS? To add to my woes, M-I-L had a heart attack on Monday, my much loved is distracted. I am so sick of lurching from crisis to crisis. I cannot wait to have these latest X2 tumours removed. My recon - tram flap  is so flipping sore, I'm sure it will have to go to. I'm hoping it can be done in the one surgery (I'm going to ask) I've already had 22 (yes 22 general anaesthetics) and my recovery is harder each time. I am so tired, so very tired. Nowhere near suicidal but afraid of sinking into depression. 

delly
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Jeez Helloboys

Thought I'd been through a loada brown stuff since 2004, loss of Dad, loss of profession, biz, income and house at 45 due to acute occupationaL back and finger probs. Mastectomy + anc 2006, 2nd primary other boob 9 mnths later and mast 2007 + anc, scuppered in development of two properties by that, and then the property/mortgage crash (lost thousands), loss of Mum 2010, then suicide of bruv 2012. Developed progressive hand problem in both that can't be cured and just had cataract op 2 weeks ago. Can't afford to retire, but now stymied with what I can do work wise with hands, plus age (58) and not having worked in a long time now against. Just haven't managed to get myself back onto some kind of track. Throughout all that, have suffered with massively, debilitating depression. People have said "I'm amazed you're still standing". I'm on my tod and it's all smashed me up mentally, and is taking a long time to build myself up again. Am nowhere near yet mentally. You've put all my probs in the shadows.

 

I take my hat off to you girl and shall say to you "I'm amazed you're still standing". (What's fna - that to do with nodes?) I can't believe your so**ing awful luck woman. Got everything crossed for your scan results to be clear dear girl.

Have you got support with and through all this?? Husband/partner, family and some good friends?? Am hoping so. When will you have your scan results? Please let us know when you receive them, if you feel able to. We wanna be here to support you in any way we possibly can. I've found this Forum invaluable. Use it Helloboys to offload, let off steam, stomp, rant, have a good moan, sob. Hopefully have a giggle in the process too. Doesn't have to be all about breast cancer, but it's often the source of it.

There are some brilliant women on here, and I'm sure like me, they're all gunning for you too.

Come back soon and let us know how things are going.

 

Loadsa love to you and everyone

Delly xxxxxxxxxxxxx

gmc
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Wow "Hello", life really does seem to be throwing you an awful lot of curve balls! You're doing so well to even write down the catalogue of disasters that's happened to you in the last 12 years. The best thing about the BCC forums is that you don't have to attempt to pretend to be positive as you can just be yourself, rant and rave, ask for advise and be yourself. I know personally how devastating it is to have a second diagnosis as I had BC in one breast in 2002 and then again in the other breast in 2014. I don't know about you but first time around I didn't have any support network. Luckily I found this website second time around and it was just what I needed. I joined a group of ladies who were all going through chemo at the same time as me and used the forum practically every day. I've also found other forums on here useful and have phoned the help line for advise. Please take advantage of anything offered - councelling was invaluable much to my surprise as I was very sceptical about the benefits. Good luck with whatever treatment you're going through,

Best wishes, Gill

 

Helloboysimback
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Thanks for your reply. Not sure this is the place for me though.

mrsorangecat
Member

Re: 12 years and wham

Hello hun, im so sorry to read your news, you've had some totally rotten things happen ☹ I can understand you feeling fed up of trying to be positive but please try and keep calm (easier said than done, i know) as you'll just feel worse. I hope they get the scan organised quickly for you as that's the worst bit isn't it, being in limbo land, waiting for tests and then results. I'm sure more ladies with more knowledgeable things to say will be along soon so sending you my very best wishes and i hope you get some positive news soon. Im having rads at the moment following mastectomy after having a lobular bc. Breast cancer is so totally draining and frightening but you've got through it once and you will do again. Keep posting hun as you will get a lot of support on here. Big hugs. Hxx
Helloboysimback
Member

12 years and wham

In June 2005 I was dx'd with invasive lobular bc. I had a quadrandectomy, followed by a full mastectomy with immediate recon. I had FEC Sep 05 - Jan 06 followed by rads Feb - Mar 06. I had a lot of problems with my implant which was changed in May 07, lots of problems with that one too so ended up having a tram in July 07. In 09 my ovaries were removed, in 10 I had a reduction on my 'good side. In 11 I had unrelated gall bladder surgery and I thought I was due a break. Wrong! In Jan 13, I was in an horrendous car accident abroad, suffering multiple injuries. I had a number of surgeries because of this accident and ended up retiring from work in July 14 (I was only in my early 50's then). I had over 18 months of physio and was just about getting back to 'normal' when I found a new lump in my armpit on my mast side - 21st Feb this year. Contacted GP and was red flagged to breast clinic, on 2nd March had ultrasound, 3 fna's and 2 biopsies. Radiographer could only see scar tissue, 3 fna's were clear - but did the biopsies 'just in case'. Results clinic last Friday and wouldnt you just KNOW those biopsies showed my cancer is back. Now waiting for scan to see if it's spread. With my luck, I'm not hopeful. I am SO tired of trying to be positive. I just cannot believe this is happening.