Thank you all so much for your replies...they have really helped. Yes, I think it's about getting the tool bag out again! And getting into all those things you mention which have helped me so far.
I went to my GP yesterday and she was very understanding about this anniversary thing and just said why don't we do a full MOT blood test to put my mind at rest about one of two niggling things. I never thought I would be so grateful to have another needle in my arm but I was reassured that she was listening to me.
She made a follow-up appointment for next week to get the results as she said she thought it much better than me just ringing up.
Today I am being kind to myself and watching stuff I have recorded, in the middle of the day which isn't what I usually do for some reason. I will go round to my daughter's later and make sure everything is ok for them getting back from holiday on Monday.
Take care all of you
Sorry that you're having a bit of a wobbly day. Two years is really still very early and the impact of other people being poorly is massive when we are fragile. As the other ladies have mentioned there are lots of places where you can get support. Over the last three years, since diagnosis; i have done CBT. Mindfulness and every kind of altermative therapy know to man..at a local Cancer Care Centre. I am three years from diagnosis and tend to get more and more good days but emotionally am still very fragile.
Take care of yourself Gillyx
I'm not surprised you're having a hard time. The death of your friend will have been a huge blow. I lost a friend to BC two years ago. We had known each other for several years before diagnosis, but became closer after we were both diagnosed in 2007. Sadly she died in 2013, and it hit me really hard. Part of the issue for me was guilt - why was I still alive when she was dead? I found it very hard to look her husband and children in the eye - surely they were thinking it should have been me not her? So I feel for you. Of course, like most things, the stronger emotions pass with time and you get on with life again. But thinking of my friend always makes me feel sad, and it reminds me of my own mortality.
But on the positive side, I am now over eight years on and enjoying life, and mostly don't worry about it all. You will feel better too in time. x
What a strange time...I thought I was just breezing through my two year mammogram and not really any great thoughts of anniversaries. (I have just looked and the first time I posted was 22nd July 2 years ago). But a dear friend was diagnosed with a different sort of cancer in April and her funeral was today and all this week I have been so very very sad and and grief-stricken and frightened.
Then I realised that last week and this week were the dreaded weeks. When I saw the consultant, had my mammogram and then the biopsy and then on the 25th the diagnosis. I suppose my mood makes sense now but knowing I had the all clear for my other side last week made me think I wouldn't react. But I don't trust my body again.
I know it will pass but it is very difficult to explain to people that although I am really glad it is two years down the line, there are still echoes of fear and isolation.
Anyone around for a bit of comfort?