Thanks again for all your comments. One of the things that struck me the most when I first found out I had BC was how alone I felt and certainly coming onto this site I have found such incredible support from everyone. It really makes me feel more positive reading everyones messages and well wishes and although it doesnt change my situation it certainly lifts my spirits and makes me determined to be positive and fight this all the way !
Well I had my op on Thursday and came home yesterday. Am feeling fine...bit battered and bruised but other than that Im doing ok. Just feel so relieved that the cancer is out of me...wanna get better now and move onto whatever is next. Got to go back to the hosptial on 9th July to learn what the lymph nodes have told them and what treatment I face...not looking forward to that but I figured if i go expecting chemo and radio then I hopefully wont hear much worse than that...fingers crossed.
Its tough trying to recover with a 2yr and 5yr old...they both still want me to do everything for them and Im finding it hard to take a back seat whilst others do it...have to keep reminding myself I need to get better first and then I can be the mum I want to be again.
Keep me updated with any progress on your treatments...its nice to know Im not going through it on my own and good to hear how all upbeat you are (most of the time)
Take care Sally xxxx
Hi everyone esp Salsal and Molly
Welcome to this site, and I'm just so sorry you have had to join us. You will make some good friends here!! I'm 38, with a 10 month old baby boy and was diagnosed four weeks ago. Have had two ops since, a lumpectomy and then a week later I had 6 lumph nodes taken (there are 20 under each arm). Lymph nodes came back clear so that was a good sign.
Tumour that was removed was fairly small meaning I'd caught it really early (pure luck!!) but it was a Grade 2, meaning fairly aggressive. I'm due to start radiotherapy at Edinburgh (two hours away) on 20th July, and will have to stay up there Mon-Fri for four weeks - gonna be so hard leaving my baby behind : ( My oncologist is still waiting for one hormone test result coming back, but says she is 99% confident that I won't have to have chemo. If the test comes back saying something different, I will just have to deal with that then.
As others have said, you will find great strength on here. I can't believe how many others are in the same position as me. I know how truly alone you can feel when first diagnosed - even with fantastic friends and family around - they don't really understand how you are feeling. After a few weeks though, things do start to sink in, but you will always have a friendly ear on here.
I am also on FB (Shenagh Davidson - the only one!)if you want to add me (I've already got a few BCC friends on there) and it is so nice to see everyone's photos.
Love, hugs and positive vibes to you all xxx
thanks for that momo ill look into it... but im not sure if that happens in scotland i think they just take their prelims into account but she has mental health problems too and was quite ill at the time of her prelims so didnt do so well then either.... she may have done better than she thinks though... and theres always next year.
so glad to hear your good news with your CT scan. i had a bone scan last week too and was a bit nervous about the results as the nurse said at the time it looked fine but had to go back two days later for a cardiac scan and when i asked he when the bone scan results would be available she said she wasnt able to tell me whether ir was ok or not... so started to panic cos she had told me it was ok before... but it was ok thank goodness.... and i hope your is too... but its amazing how worried one wee offhand comment can make you feel.
Thank you so much, I have a friend who is pretty much at a similar stage to you and she seems to be feeling much the same. i so look forward to that. I have always been someone who never wanted to be 'normal' but i absolutely crave normality now, how ironic! Mind you I suppose that depends on whatever my perception of normal is!!
Lulu I just read through the thread and i dont know if this is of any interest but...
I was diagnosed just as my daughter sat her GCSEs and my doctor has written a letter to the examining board via her school and they apparently (although I dont know the ins and outs) uplift her mark by a certain percentage. I dont know if the system is the same for you but just thought you might like to know.
The sun is shining here and we are off for fish and chips at the coast. I hope you all have a good evening
I just came accross your posts and wanted to send you all good wishes, I was diagnosed May last year and had the full works treatment wise. The 'try and stay positive' thing is frankly a tricky thing to get into your head whilst under extreme stress but amazingly you will find moments of it.
Take all the help you can get,I am a very independant person but I found myself looking for help from family and friends and towards the end of my treatment this website. Eight months I had visiting hospitals and now for the moment I am feeling quite human and fit again, you too will feel like that soon, look forward, you will get there.
Thank you so much - I have just heard that the CT scan was clear so bone scan to go now - but feel very thankful for something positive to hang onto. I should have a date for second surgery soon and feel that I just want to move forward. But in the meantime whilst I am off work I'm going to try and take the positive and enjoy the hols with my kids.
my diagnosis was very similar to yours, and although I had reduction on the other side to my cancer, the results were benign. I now have to go back in for mastectomy on cancerous side. Because I had infected nodes then chemo it is but I do feel at the moment I will take anything they can give me to get rid of it. I might feel different when I start to lose my hair etc etc
Are you a Molly ? or do you have a little Molly as i also have a daughter called Molly!
denise i have had to have something off my gp too to help calm me.... its more difficult to deal with when they tell you one thing then something worse happens.
luckily my surgeon is great and generally tells me all the negatives although this time round i do tent to clutch at straws if they say something positive and then get disappointed when its a negative answer.
hope your CT and bone scan go well.... it is a scary time and im not gonna tell you to be positive just want you to know im thinking of you and sending you hugs and hoping its good news (((hugs)))
Hi I am also 43 with three children and have recently been diagnosed - I have had therapeutic mammoplasty but have to go back to have a mastectomy as more areas were found in the tissue taken. i also had full axillary clearance as sentinel node was found to be infected and have 4 nodes positive of 23. I have had a Ct scan and a bone scan booked for next week then chemo, rads and tamoxifen. Not bad considering the original dx was a lumpectomy and rads. I have been so terrified by the whole thing that eventually my Gp gave me something to calm my nerves and my BCN rings me to see how I am - she has been wonderful. I too thought life was ticking along quite normally until this and now I cant imagine any type of normality again.
hi sal and molly.... i remember feeling like you both at first too..... when everything is so new and all you know is you have cancer but now how good or bad it is and you go through every scenario from they have made a mistake to not making it to next year.
im less concerned about the side effects of treatment if im honest and more concerned with it coming back... i think we all fear different things from the chemo...im worried about feeling sick but no so concerned about being a baldy.
not all chemo makes you lose your hair but most of the ones given for BC do... but you could try the cold cap which is basically a frozen hat that gives you brain freeze that you wear for 2 hours.... but it doesnt guarantee you wont lose your hair, but for some people it helps.... you can get an NHS wig too... im going to get mine fitted on thursday morning and get first chemo thurs afternoon.
im also on facebook lulu L if anybody wants to add me.
Hi Salsal and Molly,
If either of you need a good 'listening ear' then please feel free to phone the helpline, the staff are here to support you though this. Lines are open Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm calls are free, 0808 800 6000.
hi salsal, you sound in a simialr position to me... i cant be on my own i feel very insecure, and when i go anywhere to the shops or into town i want to get back home all the time! my little girls voice echos in my ear and i love them all so much. i cant concentrate on anything anymore only 'what if's?' are you on facebook? i am and access the instant chat service on there as i want to discuss my BC all the time, it seems to make me feel better. my family are devastated if im honest and try to be supportive but are heartbroken inside. my lymph nodes will be tested after my op however, they think they looked fine on ultrasound, so fingers crossed on that one!! i get sick to the stomach also at the thought of hair loss and weight loss/gain, sickness, menopause ??? im just going through sheer hell at the moment and cant wait to have my operation. much luv hun xxxxx
Hi Molly...strange what you said...do you know what Im nervous about whats gonna happen after the op but other than that Im like you...the op cant come quick enough ! They told me that my cancer is trying to shed its cells and its round one of my lymph nodes (thats why they are taking the lot out) If I cud I wud have had the op the next day...just want this cancer out of me !!
They have told me that my lymph nodes will be sent off for tests and then Ill found out how aggressive or if its going anywhere else in 2 weeks...feel scared to death getting these results...much more than been told I had it in the first place...I wasnt scared at all then as I competely didnt expect it!
Ive been told regardless of the results because of my age I will more than likely have to have chemo and radio...am terrified of how ill the chemo will make me and the thought of losing my hair makes me feel sick to my stomach...but its just another hurdle to face and get through !! My family, friends and work have been so supportive...they make me wanna fight this and make me feel so positive when Im around them...dont like being on my own anymore...I think far too much.
Will be intouch..All the best for your op on the 3rd...lots of love xx
hi salsal, if its any consolation im scared too, have just had the confirmation of my bed for the 3/7/09 for a mastectomy on one and poss lumpectomy on the other as that one was leaning more to the side of benign, i get my full set of core bio results tomoz, you would think that the scary part was last week when i was told but im scared to go tomorrow and find out what type ive got! my nodes looked clear on ultrasound but they will check them when i have my op. god the thought of chemo or radio scares me senseless, does everyone lose their hair? i dont know all this is new to me? does it depend of the strength and doseage? good luck for thurs, the op doesnt bother me i just want rid if that makes sense, so that we can start the recovery process. my thoughts will be with you!! much love xxx
Thank you so much for all your comments...its a massive support to know that other people have been through the same thing and are coming out the other side...I think Ive got past the initial shock at thinking Id been handed a death sentence and am a lot more positive and am determined to fight this all the way !!
Went to see the breast cancer nurse Monday...she was dead lovely. Apparently its been graded stage 2...my op is on Thurs...not too worried about it...just want to get in there and get it out...
They have already said my cancer is trying to shed cells hence why they are removing all my lymph nodes...then I have to wait 2 weeks till I get the rest of the news from that...so scared about getting more bad news but trying my best to put it to the back of my mind.
Its the chemo that really scares me if Im honest....the thought of losing my hair really upsets me...and the not knowing how ill its going to make me and the impact it will have on my family life. Up until now my husband worked away from home in the week so my girls are very dependent on me...its gonna be so hard taking a back seat with them...
Roll on Thurs...and thanks for your messages of support xxx
I was 39 at dx, had lumpectomy last May then chemo then rads, now tamoxifen. It was 3.1cm gade 3 and I had 5 out of 7 nodes affected. My girls were 4 and 2, and we found 'Mummy's Lump' fantastic in helping them understand what was happening to Mummy and why Mummy lost her hair, etc. We got a copy for their nursery too. We were very open about it but never really used the word cancer very much.
The treatment is not easy with young children, so accept all offers of help, it will help you to recover quicker from the treatment.
I went back to work in January part time and since April full time. I still have side effects from the chemo + tamoxifen, but I want to see my girls grow up....
This site has been an absolute godsend, use it any time and good luck
awwww hugs molly
it is really hard to get your head round. have you had a chance to speak to your breast nurse as they are usually a valuable source of advice and information too.
lots of friendly words of wisdom and support on here too.
i got diagnosed the day before my daughter was doing her highers and shes really done poorly and had to walk out during them so we have kinda written off this year exam wise.... more important things to life than exams anyway i say.
hope all goes well with your results... the waiting is definitely the worst experience in the world... and its normal to fear the worst too.
Hi everyone im 43yrs old, I was diagonosed last Wednesday as having BC, I have a 16 yr old just sitting his GCSE's, a 12yr old and my little girl of 4yrs. I cant tell you all how I felt I practically cried the hospital down! It has affected my mental health status immensley as I keep fearing the worst!! I go back on Weds this week to recieve the core biopsy info but despite that my surgery is booked for the 3/7/09. A mastectomy in one breast and lumpectomy in the other one. God im so scared!!! I was perfectly happy and normal until this time last week and my life has been totally shattered! I have no family history of BC and am still trying to get my head around everything. I just love my family so much!!! and its the first time I've been on this site, it actually is so upsetting to read stories similar to mine?
Love to you all xx
I have put for your below the link to BCC's publication 'Mummy's Lump' it's a book especially designed for children to help them understand what is happening to you. From feedback we've had from others it's a good parental aid to help and children have found it easy to understand. I've also put the link to another of our publications about talking to children about breast cancer.
I hope these help. Kind regards
Sorry to hear you are having to have a lumpectomy, but hope to offer you some encouragement. I had a biopsy the same week Ofsted appeared at work and my twins sat their GCSE's! Staying calm was tough but I did. I was found to have LCIS and invasive cancer. I had two more lumpectomies and some lymph nodes removed. They found four tumours altogether and LCIS but said I didn't need an MX. Radiotherapy was O.K. The hardest part for me was seeing people who were obviously so very poorly. At my worst I cried a lot when the house was empty and didn't want to go out. It was a tough nine months from start to finish but I am now back at work and have some strength back. I think the drugs can make you feel bad Tamoxifen made me depressed and Arimidaex has made me put on a stone in weight I am tempted not to take it but scared the cancer may take over.
Do whatever ou need to stay well and happy- listen to your body. You will get through it eventully....Love goldwing girl.x
Thank you all for your comments...it really does make a difference knowing that Im not going through this alone and that there are people out there that know exactly what Im going through...its still early days for me and people are very emotional about it all...which is understandable but doesnt help me !
Had a fantastic weekend away...went to visit relatives in York and spent most of the time on the beach at Scarborough. The girls loved it and I've come back with a real fighting spirit...Im determined to get through the next 12 months (as scary as they seem now) and come through a stronger person !
Still not sure how to work this site...are the forums the main way to talk to you all ? So many questions I dont know where to start.
Got to tell my daughter (the 5yr old) tomorrow about my Op on Thurs...am just gonna tell her about my lump being removed...no mentioning the C word...just incase she says to someone else and they react badly and frighten her...
Thanks again for all your support xxxxx
Hi, not as youmg as you! But still one hell of a shock and i worry about my 20yr old baby and how she is coping! I've just started chemo after lumpectomy. this site has been a life line, so many friends who help and support, younger and young!
We have all creid and ranted, got angry, every emotion!
Take care, love Debs xx
ps have a lovely weekend!
i was first diagnosed 3 yrs ago at 37 and just had a new primary diagnosed last month aged 40.
it does take some getting used to and you do have good days and bads but somehow you just manage to muddle on through.
best wishes xx
hello, i'm new here too but was diagnosed in march. i had a lumpectomy and currently undergoing chemo, and will need radiotherapy and hormone therapy for five years. i'm 33 with a nine month old baby and wonderful husband and totally understand your feelings of wanting to protect your loved ones from all this.
i don't have a family history either so was totally shocked to find i had BC. i was loving my perfect life and was planning to start trying for another soon... how naiive can we be ???
i've only been part of these forums for the last few days but i can tell you i've had some wonderful support already. there are some strong and lovely women here..... the initial shock of the diagnosis i can only describe as like a car crash of emotions... but you are not alone. you will get through this. you will have utterly awful days and days where you are ok...and days where you laugh (although you might not believe that yet)...
you'll find strength from somewhere. i have a beautiful family to fight for, they are the fire in my belly. i hope you have a good weekend and keep in touch. xxx
evie.. i love the wig...XXXX
Ive posted on the the other thread of an equally young and scared mum. I am 32, have 10MTH old daughter and a 2yr old daughter. I have grade 3 BC and a 2x2 tumour has been removed already.
I felt pretty good afterwards to be fair but cried all the way to theatre until i was sedated.
I feel totally gutted about this but feel it needs to be dealt with while my kids are too young to remember anytning. My wig has freaked the two year old out already so will have to graduallt introduce it to her.
I have everythign to live for and wont let BC get in my way.I tend to have a good cry when in the car on my own when a soppy song comes on! Works for me.
Have good weekend away!
Thank you girls for posting the comments...its a great comfort to know that there are others that have been through and are going through the same thing..
I fully intend to use this site to get as much information..tips..friendship and support to help get me and others through this testing time.
The hospital have just called...Im going in next Thurs for my op. Am just off to collect the kids from school and nursery and were going away for the weekend to have some fun and take my mind off things.
Will be back in touch..so many questions and comments to make.
Thank you again for getting in touch xxx
Hi Salsal and welcome to the BCC forums,
I can see that you have had support from your fellow users, in addition BCC can offer you further support and information, the following link will take you to our publication specifically aimed at younger women which explains these in detail and how to access them:
You may also find our publications called 'Talking to children' and 'Mummy's lump' helpful, they can be ordered via these links:
Our helpline is on 0808 800 6000 and is open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 9-2, you are welcome to call for a confidential chat with one of our helpline team for support and more information about any of our services.
i was 34 when dx. i had 3 little girls ages 18 mnths 3 and 7. I know its a shock at the moment but try to be positive and take it one step at a time. I was dx in dec 07 and am doing well. This may i did an 8.5 mile walk somethink last year i thought i would never do. I personally didn't tell me kids too much as i didn't want to frighten them and when i lost my hair delt with it then rather than building them up to it. They just enjoyed playing with my wig. Its hard trying to keep your emotions away from the kids but i just wanted them to be kids and not worry about what was going on. Again no family history for me and no obvious health conditions that could have caused it but shit happens. We have no choice we are given the cancer card and we have to deal with it.
I know its hard but try to be positive about beating this damn disease.
Take care and hugs to u
I am so sorry to hear of your news, I was 32 when I was diagnosed 3 years ago, I too had a little boy who was then 3 years old. I had a lumpectomoy, Chemo and Rads. It is extremely hard trying to stay strong but your mother instinct will take over and you will be. At the moment you will have all sorts going on in your head and you won't know which way to turn. Stay positive and take each day as it comes as at the moment you'll be on a rollercoaster. Believe me, you will get through this and we are all here for you. this site is wonderful support and its great if you just want to let off steam. You take care and please let us know how you get on. you should get your date soon and the breast cancer nurses are there for you so make sure you use them. We are also here for you too.
the thing is, there are lots of good stories out there and I think you need to concetrate on those, you will survive this, you will fight it and you will win.
Stay strong and keep in touch.
Love and best wishes to you
I was diagnosed in March , had lumpectomy in April, due to start rads on Monday for 4 weeks.
Dont feel alone, come and talk to us, believe me I have found this site marvelous since diagnosis, and cant believe so many of us are in the same boat.
The ladies I speak to on hear are lovely.
Keep your chin up, take every day at a time.
I found out I had breast cancer (confirmed) yesterday and am still reeling from the shock of it. Its not in my family and with my age it has come as a complete shock !! I am a mom to two little girls aged 2 and 5...and terrified what i have to face and how to protect my little ones from this awful news !
I have been told Ive got to have a lumpetcomy (apologies for spelling) and got to have my lymph nodes removed (cos theres a suspicious one) and then have chemo and radio therapy. Am waiting for a date for my Op and feel a bit in limbo at the moment.
Would love to talk to any fellow moms or anyone else who has just found out they have breast cancer...cos at the moment I feel I cant tlak to anyone without reducing them to tears !!!