5yrs on and i have to go through it all again!

I went back to the clinic today for my results of the core biopsies taken last week after a mammo callback haveing just being discharged, and im afraid i didnt get the news i was hoping for, ive now had it confirmed that its back, not as a recurrence but a new primary in my good breast, the tumour is a 22ml ivasive IDC including DCIS grade 3, and i am devestated,im back to square one and starting from scratch,ive been offered 2 types of surgery, WLE plus SNB like i had before or mammoplasty with a breast reduaction to BC side, not sure when my Op will be yet but will get a letter for the Pre Op soon usealy 10 days before the surgery, i will definately have Rads and possibily Chemo again as the tumour is grade 3 again, wont know hormone status untill the results afte my surgery, but as ive been on Tamox,Aromasin and now on Anastrozole which they have said now hasnt worked for me proberly because i was only weakly ER+ Famara would be tried next if hormone status changes.
Even though i had prepared myself ,am feeling a bit numb now, have had a good cry ,feel like getting p***ed though silly me im im T-Totall,so tomorrow will get my head down,get through all the crap that is BC again and i will bounce back.
I know most of the ladies on here are going through much worse, so please forgive me for moaning, just realy fed up right now.
Special hugs to everyone.
Linda xx

You don’t need to apologise for moaning - you’ve had some horrible news.

Wishing you all the best.

Ah Linda,
So sorry you are back here and not celebrating 5 years.
I just want to say you can moan all you like on here, I know I do and everyone just understands what you are going through.
Just want to send you big hugs ((()))
Love Fran xx

Oh Linda this is horrible.I too am just over 5 years from dx and was absolutely petrified when I had 5 year mammo-I dreaded what you have to face.Yes it could be worse but it must be devastating.The people on here will be with you along the way and hoping that this time you will be able to kick the cancer into touch once and for all.
Thinking of you,

Valxx

Hi Linda

Am really sorry it’s back and you have to face it all again.

Good luck with your treatment.

Dx

Thanks everyone, this bloody desease is truely *****, but i think deep down i had a feeling the news wouldnt be good today ,il be ok when i get my head round it all again ,get the surgery over with,and start my treatents, its just a never ending rollercoaster isnt it,
Val, i think we were DX about the same time 5yrs ago wasnt we ,i can remember us going through treatments at the same time and have always followed your posts, thanks for all your support back then and also now, im so pleased your reached your 5 yrs mark too and realy hope you are doing ok and keeping well.
Hugs to everyone. xx

Bummer!

Knowing what you’ve got ahead of you doesn’t make it any easier, probably harder actually. If there’s any “good” here (relatively speaking, of course) it’s that it’s a primary. But it still sucks.

Big hugs, and you know the score - come on here and vent, moan, whinge, cry and scream when you need to, and also come on for the giggles and laughter. (Maybe not this week though.)

Meh, not good.

CM
x

Cornishgirl,
I am so sorry to hear your news, what a setback, and as Choice says, it may be a bit harder cos you know what the treatments like BUT also you know you have the power to get through it like you did last time. Really bigs hugs and good wishes, and DO scream, rant, whatever, whenever, - just now you need to, in a while it may be me…we never know do we, so feel free,
bw Nicola

Hi Linda

I know we’ve not always seen eye to eye on this forum but I am genuinely very sorry to read your news.

I hope your treatment goes well and you’ll get back to good health again soon.
Elinda x

Hi Linda,i’ve pm’d you on facebook but just want to add my support on here to.This is such crap news, but you know you will get through it,just like last time and be rid of this s–ty disease once and for all.
(((((humongous hugs for you)))))

Melxxxxxx

Thanks everyone, does anyone know anything about mammoplasty? this procedure is very new to me so i dont realy know very much about it, the surgeon gave me a brief explanation yesterday ,something about making an incision like an anchor and also cutting round the nipple, but it all just went over my head to be honest as i wasnt thinking very clearly. This new tumour is in the upper middle of my breast as opposed to the outer side quadrant last time, so would make much more of a noticeable hollow indent appearence they said so they have given me the option of the 2 different types of surgeries,they said as my breasts are an E cup i would be an ideal candiate for the mammoplasty which can be offered now sometimes instead of a MX for some people so i need to make a decision quite soon.
If anyones got any more info or knows anything about mammoplasty or has had this procedure done themselves i would realy appreiciate your expierences.
Thanks again, and special thanks Elinda for your post too, even though we havent always agreed on somethings it was never ever personal for me,hope you are keeping well.
Linda xx

Ditto Linda and yes I’m doing okay.

I can’t help on your query but I did see a thread on this quite recently. I’ll see if I can bump it up for you as it may be of help.
Elinda x

Hi cornishgirl

Here is the link to the thread elinda45 has bumped up for you:-

share.breastcancercare.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=36205&p=665440#p665440

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

Really sorry to read this Linda. Had been hoping it was just a blip.
All I can say in the way of consolation is, at least it’s a primary, because that means it’s treatable.
If you don’t mind me offering an opinion though (and you know I mean well), I think your medics will offer chemo/rads, but if they don’t, you should request/demand it. I definitely wouldn’t rely on surgery and endocrine therapy, because your new primary developed while you were taking Tamoxifen. Obviously if your new primary is oestrogen receptive, then Femera would be an option, but if you have cells floating around your bloodstream, the best it can do is slow progression. I don’t want you to worry about this, because it’s unlikely that you have C cells in your blood, but ultimately chemo is your best insurance policy.
Shame you’re tee-total. Maybe a box of choccies, or a big cream cake would help. Don’t forget that you can always email me if you fancy someone to chat to.
Lesley X

Hi Linda

Sorry my finger crossing didn’t work!! Was thinking about you yesterday afternon. What can I say. Will meet up whenever you are ready. let me know. PM me with tel no,/ mob no/e-mail. Mandy xxx

Thanks so much Elinda for finding the mammoplasty thread for me i realy appreciate it, i havent been able to find out much myself yet so will be good to get other peoples views on it.
Thanks Lesley, as crap as it all is ,i am glad that if i have to have it back again that it is a new primary and not a reocurrence, so that is some small consolation and def a positive , the calcifications found around my BC scar was caused by Rads damage so that breast is ok thankfully ,and the other area of calcification in my good breast was benign too thank god,so its just the one area of Invasive plus the dcis measuring 22ml in all that is bloody BC.
Yes, my med team has said i will definately be having Rads again, its also a grade 3 again, so expect i will also be offered chemo like the last time and especialy as you say because i have now got a new primary even while taking hormone therapies for the last 4+ yrs, I REALY dread doing Chemo again,i had 8 accelerated last time,and used to physicaly shake before i went in as it was too much, i never ever had that good week in between to recover. but i know i proberly will have to do it again and will get through it (but 3 weekly hopefully!!) . Just praying that once this tumour is out that my hormone status is much more er positive , one step at a time eh.
Mandy, il Pm you my number and email bless you,it would be lovely to meet up with you ,we can have a coffee and put the world to rights lol hope you are ok pet.
Thanks again everyone, hope you are ok .
Linda xx

Hi Linda,
I’m new to it all 2weeks from having lumpectomy, facing 6xchemo, radio and tamaxophin.
I can only say the horrible roller coaster that is BC is hellish!!
I have found this site brilliant with the love and suport, no one can go through it for you but to know we are all sending much love, total understanding and sincere whishes.
You are not alone with the amazing power of this site.
Where ever we are in our different stages on the road we are all feeling the same strees and anxiousness about what we face.
A good moan, especially to people that understand first hand, is invaluable.
You are obviously a strong person to go through it all the firts time and you will find the stength again.
Never apologise for a moan :smiley:
Luv viv x

Hi again linda-yes we were together most of the time 5 years ago.I was a bit ahead of you [dx October 2006] but always looked out for your posts.
I will be holding your hand and sending positive vibes to you this time.It is definitely a relief to have a new primary rather than a recurrence I think.At least it means that it isnt caused by stray cells from the first dx lurking through your body.
Take Care
Valxx

Linda, it is sh**ty to have to have Chemo again, but when I had to do it again 4 years ago I did find it easier in some ways than the fist time. I don’t know if you have heard the Neil Diamond song “One more bite of the apple”? There is a line that says “did it once you can do it once more” and somehow that helped me get through it and REALLY it was better for me than the first time. Its funny the things wetake strength from, but there does always seem to be something that helps us along the way. Take care and all the best, Mo xx

Hi viv,
Hope you are doing ok pet,big big hugs to you ((((o)))),just wanted to say hang on in there, it does get better i PROMISE, and although at first it might feel like a neverending round of hospital appointments, and blooming treatments, it realy is surpriseing how quickly everything gos once you get started .
Please, please try not to worry to much about chemo,as lots of people do realy well with chemo nowadays, infact lots of ladies even manage to work throughout, with few or very manageable SEs, and carry on with their life pretty much as near normal , our med teams are exelent at making sure we have everything we need to minimise any SEs should we get them, so just let them know right away if you do expierence any SEs, as they have loads of meds available these days to help combat them and you certainly dont need to suffer in silence.
I know for me i would have coped much better last time if i had had 3 weekly cycles instead of 2, so i realy do hope my earlier post didnt cause you to worry more pet.

Rads are also very do-able so dont go worrying about them ,infact for me i found them a doddle, just a bit tireing going to the hospital everyday, but nothing at all to worry about . and the hormone therapies ive been on have been absolutely fine too, so try not to worry to much(i know its hard not too)but just try and take everything one step at a time, then it all doesnt seem so blooming overwhelming, You CAN do this i promise, and you WILL come out the other side, Us ladies are much stronger than we know!! .

Please keep in touch viv if youd like too, i might be a bit behind you treatment wise, but we can all get through blooming treatments together and if i can help you with anything at all i will, or even if you just want a listening ear or a rant,im here.
Take good care of you, and make sure you have loads of special treats, a bit of retail shopping works wonders!!
Massive hugs to you,
Linda xx