Just wondering if anyone else is struggling as much as me? I was discharged for six months in October following the end of 9 months of treatment (Surgery, Chemo and Radio). I went back to work on a phased return but haven’t coped well with the nature of my job (high-pressured, stressful, deadlines, demanding clients). Yesterday made the decsion with my boss to phase out my involvment in our company and look for a new job.
I thought the treatment was the difficult part… no-one told me I wouldn’t be the person I was before. I think everyone expects you to get to the end of treatment and go back to ‘normal’ or the ‘old you’. I’ve slowly come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be the same person again. I’m two stone heavier, my hairs about an inch long (previously it was below my sholder blades), my eyebrows are coming in patchy and I get tired easily. My self esteem is at an all time low. Having people not understand and get narky with you making you feel useless doesn’t help.
I get that my life has changed forever… And it’s not nec a bad thing. I try as much as possible to look at the postitives, I realise I was living to work not working to live and I’ve made a concious decision to change some things in my life which I think will allow me to make the most of my life, but its others around me… I’ve changed and they haven’t. They don’t undestand how I’m feeling or what I’m going through. At work I feel like a liability and at home I feel like I’m they think I’m STILL going on about cancer. x
I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time at the moment.
Whilst waiting for replies from fellow users maybe you would like to talk to a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information.
The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.
I’ve also included a link to our ‘One to One Support’ where we could put you in touch will someone by email or phone who may have been in a similar situation and can offer support.
I totally get what you’re saying - I finished treatment in June last year and am still struggling to reach some level of normality - whatever that is these days! I think people think once treatment is over then life just returns to normal - but it doesn’t for us, life will never be normal again.
What younger women’s forum are you attending? I’ve thought about going a number of times but have not yet summoned up the courage to sign up!
K xx
I replied to this thread before I saw your response on the “angry” thread I have responded over on that thread too.
Is really nice to talk to someone going through the same thing, at a similar age. Would not really nice to chat more - whereabouts do you live? I’m in the SE, just outside London xx
I’m here in the United States. It is a big transition to go through after treatment, let alone going back to work. It sounds to me like you are stressed out after treatment which is normal. Chemo can also make you depressed for awhile after treatment is over. You are barely out of treatment and now you are facing another huge change. I suggest that you see your doctor about an antidepressant. You are being very hard on yourself. I suggest that you find a bit of exercise to do each day and to stay in contact with your good and true friends. Your hair will look better. I wore gorgeous wigs. I got so many compliments - people thought they were real. The mild exercise will help with the two stone and help you think more clearly. I suggest you not make any important decisions at this time until your mood improves with the medicine which takes two weeks. Make up will fix the eyebrows etc. I suggest you be kinder to yourself. It can take about a year to feel more yourself after the end of chemo. Definitely stay as busy as you feel like after work. this will also help take the work stress off. Try to do the things you enjoy. All this advice is what my American doctors gave me and it helped me greatly. you’ve been through enough. Its time to focus on yourself. its about you right now. Let me know how you are doing.
I’m in the same boat as you. 7 months post treatment and struggling with the emotional effects of the whole thing.
Try hard to look at the positives, there are loads. I’m closer in all of my relationships and appreciate the smaller things in life. I worry less about the big things, in reality they’re not the big things.
Get a job you enjoy that meets your financial requirements and focus on that. Your confidence is probably at an all time low though so it won’t be easy.
I have maybe a bit more hair than you do but I still hate being in company where the people don’t know my history, I feel very masculine and unglam next to them. With my friends I’m much more comfortable so I tend to shy away from situations where I have to meet new people.
I hope job hunting is not too stressful for you. If you feel like replying, I’m available to chat.
Hello ladies
Can you let me know how you are feeling now, after near 2 months?
I was lucky one, no chemo. I’m four weeks after surgery and waiting to start radio. Next week also will start Tamozifen
I’ve return to work 2 weeks ago and although i’m not in treatment right now I’m feeling hopeless. I also work in a very stressful environment, is impossible to manage to amount of work and sometimes get really stressful. I want so much to get my life back but i feel tired and not able to perform as before
Does this goes to improve with time?
Please let me know?
Thanks
I have responded over on that thread too.