Love the new pic,is that the mountain you feel like you're climbing 😉 bit bigger than my hill.
Glad you're feeling abit better today.
Love Helen xx
That sounds such an achievement Cherub - go for it.
Hi Rhian and Helen - Thank you so much for your thoughts, it really helped when I was low yesterday.
Keep your chin up girl,you're nearly there,must be about halfway now.Hope you've been looking at that piece of special jewellery you've promised yourself.
I'm with Rhian on the treats front,don't have to be expensive,just abit self indulgent.
What's that saying...."because you're worth it"....& you most definitely are!
Lots of love,
I had to be out on business for most of yesterday afternoon with my OH and for the first time since I was diagnosed 3 years ago I felt confident enough to speak for myself, ask questions, make suggestions etc at our meetings. I normally sit there and make notes as an observer whilst OH does all the talking. I was really quite chuffed with myself last night as I felt this was a major achievement for me and that I am now really moving on and slotting back into life, albeit a very different one to the one I had before BC (which is a life I don't want to go back to anyway).
In the past 10 days I've also managed to build of the website I am designing for myself as a work project and have signed up to do a 1 week food hygiene course for my voluntary job as well. I've got my next mammo appointment next Friday with my review at the clinic 4 weeks later and I feel this time I'm approaching it as a routine thing instead of feeling all het up about it.
Hang on in there RhodaBee, make sure you give yourself treats and moment of you time, its about two weeks in the rads start to make you feel tired and for me a bit achy. Keep slapping on the aqueos cream and drinking lots of fluids.....the odd glass of vino helps 😉 xxx
Just want to say a big big thank you for this thread.
Was dx in Feb this year, had 6 months chemo, mx, now 2 weeks through rads and feeling in need of a boost - you ladies have done it again!!
Hugs to all.XX
I hate that word positive ...... unless it is accompanied by something practical.
"You have to stay positive" well meaning friends say at the outset of your journey through this dismal disease. Oh, I was positive all right.
I was positive I had cancer, I was positive it was going to kill me, I was positive I loathed the treatment and its side effects, I was positive my hair wouldn't grow back and I was positive I wouldn't make it through to the end.
But as it turned out, I positively didn't need a mastectomy. I positively wasn't as ill on chemo as I'd been led to expect. I postively sailed through radiotherapy. I'm positively still here 2 years from diagnosis and positive that hope springs eternal
I positively have been down in deep dark places but I positively don't go there anything like so often these days.
One of the positive thoughts that helps me climb out of those dark holes is that my Mum had breast cancer aged 40, when I was just 8 and went on to live for 36 more years. My friends Mum had breast cancer around the same time and is still going strong at 89.
Only one negative I can't do anything about ..... my triple negative
A L ++++++++++++++++++++++++
I put a relaxation CD on in the background and light an incense stick or cone every night when I go to bed. I've been doing this ever since I went for counselling last year and find I sleep soundly with no problems. If I wake up thinking about being ill I just say to the thoughts "go away, I don't want you here to bother me, you can leave just as you came" and I doze off again. Believe me, it really works.
Two different kinds of positive story for you :
My Great Aunt had BC in the early 1970s and had mx. She died a few years ago, in her 80s, of something unrelated and never had a recurrence etc. Until my dx this July, I didn't even know she had had it ( I was only little in the early 70's!).
Had a really peaceful half hour last night. I put on my relaxation CD at about 7pm, but my daughter (9) came in saying she had a tummy ache. I asked her if she wanted to lie down with me and listen to the CD while I rubbed her tummy. She agreed. She became very peaceful and snuggled up to me, eventually falling asleep.It was so calm and lovely to have her lying there.I did not want to wake her to tell her to get ready for bed, but when I did she said she had loved the CD and asked could we listen to it again together sometime.which we definitely will do.
I am having a down day today so thank you all for this positive thread, it has helped tremendously. I hope some of you will find something positive in my stories.
unfortunately the weather is awful in Hampshire today but I can see many birds from my windows. At 4.15 they all come into my garden and eat the fat balls and seed i have left everyday. Despite being in the midst of depression at the moment, i am trying to find some small simple things to enjoy and to take one day or even hour at a time. I do like nature and animals and they do give me pleasure. My poor cat keeps going beserk if i get upset and runs around the house. As I become calm, he does too (now asleep on a bean bag downstairs. I used to live in the countryside proper but now in a small town. Although it is quiet here sometimes i do miss the place where I used to live.
yes , I like the leisure poem too. I have a book by my computer with all my favourite poems in them and have a read once in a while.
I admit I was chuckling at Rhian too. I used to suffer from something my OH referred to as "AFF", otherwise known as "Atrocious Farting on FEC" syndrome. It got that bad at times I was scared to go anywhere as it was so loud (although thankfully not offensive) and if we went to the movies OH would say "just break wind in the really loud bits of the action". Casino Royale was on release at the time, great for me as I was able to let rip all the way through it.
I had another incident at the pictures when I was on rads. We went to see Pan's Labyrinth and of course being Spanish you had to concentrate on the subtitles. Unfortunately I had an unexpected stabbing pain in my rib which caused me to jump in the seat and yell "ow!" really loudly. I am convinced the man behind me thought I was nuts and he gave me a really dirty look on the way out.
Oh, and my hair started falling out during a very shouty episode of Eastenders which I never watch (OH is a real EE and he says it's an insult so it's unofficially banned in our house lol). I don't really think I've watched it since because by the end of the half hour I was clutching big handfuls of hair.
That is a real fav of mine i read it at my dads funeral, mainly because i hadn't seen him for almost a year before he died, I spoke to him lots but never got to see him living in London young children a job, renovating a house, but really i should have made time and that poem said it all. I don't mean it to be a sad thing it just was how it was.
thanks Val xxx
Hi Everyone on this lovely thread.
I take so much pleasure in the simple things in life now. I have many different birdfeeders in my garden and from my chair today I have seen one wren, 2 robins, a blackbird, 2 greenfinches, one gold-finch, many bluetits, great tits and a coaltit and numerous sparrows. Last night when the security light went on in the garden I watched that evening, a fox, and 3 different hedgehogs having their supper from the ground feeders......I love the sea and walking on a beach and the views of Edinburgh from the top of Arthur's seat ( on the rare occasions I can manage some of the way up). But I want to tell you about a poem that I learnt by heart at school. It has helped me through some difficult times. It is called "Leisure" By Willian Henry Davies who died in 1940.
What is life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
I hope you don't find this too "cheezy" girls. But sometimes our minds "cannot see the woods from the trees". Hope you are having a "good day". The sun is out here in Bonny Scotland. Love Val XXX
Hi Junielz ...i hope it made you smile, i think back and think of those and so many other incidents and its what keeps me sane.
is the runny nose because of no nose hair :0
Hi Rhian, I was reading your post and I hope you don't mind me saying and I mean it kindly it made me chuckle, some of your list reminds me of me and how I was, but the runny nose is still with me. Hope you are keeping ok take care junieliz
If at times i couldn't have laughed............
at my hair falling out,
not getting to a loo in time in central london while on chemo,
my nose dripping constantly and landing on things at the checkout when i couldn't find a tissue
sitting on the loo all evening in a friends flat because i couldn't poo and hime phoning his mum and she suggesting vaseline ( three months earlier our evenings were filled with passion)!!!!!!
the one and only time i wore a wig, catching it on the zip on my coat and it promptly come off ....over my face
A sanitary towel i was using as padding during RADS worming its way up my top and sticking its head above my neckline on a busy train coming back from central london.....and not realising and wondering why every one was looking at my chest........
........if i couldn't have laughed at all these things i think i would have crumpled
I have just had an email from a survior of 19 years the mum of my daughters boyfriend
I think it is nice to see the other side of the coin and that people do survive cancer. I also respect that the isnt the case for some and I don't know how I would react or live my life if I had secondary cancer. However, clearly, there are those who do survive and it is good for the morale to see this. I remember a few months ago a similar post about the upside of chemo which was a very tongue in cheek, black humour post which caused such a furore amongst some of the forum users. I just hope people on here can let those who want to take comfort (and why on Earth shouldn't we) in the fact that others have survived for many years after diagnosis alone.
PS, my mother had breast cancer in both breasts and survived another 15 years before dying of heart disease. Her treatment was very primitive in those days, just mastectomies so I take comfort in this on a personal level
I am 2 1/2 years on, I have a friend who is 9 years on and she has a friend who is 11 years on. All of us dx in our forties.
Elsbeth , thank you for starting this thread i havent been on the forums for a while now as i too was begining to despair with it all, but i just wanted to say it was so refreshing to see your post and to read all the positive comments. I was DX July 07 and in that time have seen so many posts being shot down through talk of positivity and such, so thank you i think a positive little corner of the forums is very much needed also .
I look after 2 ladies both in their late 80s who were DX with BC 25 & 30 yrs ago and both are fine and doing well . I also look after a man with a another type of cancer (NH Lymphoma) he was DX when he was 26 yrs old and is now 45 and also doing well too, even though he was given a very poor prognosis at the time.
Ive always had a positve outlook to life ,its not always been easy and like all of us here have been in that black hole more times than i want to remember but while the cancer may have my body i wont allow it to have my mind or spirit
I found this on the other BC site which too is inspirational i think ,hope it is to you too.
Long-Term BC Survivors:
Betty Ford - 34 years! (diagnosed in 1974)
Nancy Reagan - 21 years!
Shirley Temple-Black 36 years! (diagnosed in 1972)
Ruby Dee - over 30 years!
Sandra Day O'Connor - 26 years! (diagnosed in 1982)
Jill Eikenberry - 22 years!
Kate Jackson - 21 years!
Ann Jillian - 23 years! (diagnosed in 1985 at 35 years old; had a child in 1992)
Richard Roundtree - 15 years!
Marcia Wallace - 23 years!
Diahann Carroll - 10 years!
Rue McClanehan - 11 years!
Olivia Newton John - 15 years!
Linda Ellerbee - 17 years!
All the very best to all on this site , Keep those positive thoughts!!!
Thankyou for this thread. Sometimes we get shot down in flames for being positive, but there is a lot of evidence from psychological studies to show that a positive outlook can make a difference to many areas of life. I know this thing is difficult and we all go through days of hell and despair but overall if we can live each day well then that has to be good? I am not always successful at being positive - far from it - but I will keep on working at it. I met a lady who is 90 and had two types of cancer in the past, breast cancer about 25 years ago! inspirational.
Excellent Cherub. I am so glad you have had such a lovely time on a day that has the potential to be very emotional. Long may the good times continue!!!
I am 3 years post diagnosis today and have spent a lovely afternoon eating a sandwich overlooking the sea, followed by walking and picking loads of blackberries. We then went to see a very quirky Belgian film called "Rumba" which made me come out of the theatre smiling as it was such a silly story. Tomorrow I'm painting my bedroom and Wednesday shopping for new curtains. Life feels dandy at the moment, I'm very grateful for each day that brings me joy from simple things.
Thank you to those of you who got where I was coming from by starting this post and for posting your positive stories.
However, by doing so it would appear that I have offended some people which certainly was not my intention.
I am very well aware that there are many positive tales all over these forums involving lots of brave women - I have taken great strength from them myself and met some wonderful people in the process. However, it is also possible to drive yourself to despair my reading too much about when it doesn't always go according to plan. I know this because it happened to me on Friday night and I was in a really dark place on Saturday! Meeting my friend on Saturday night with her "10 year free" news dragged me back from the deep sadness I was I feeling and I just thought it would be nice to share that experience with others.
Long may the positive thoughts continue!!!
I like the thread 'Should we still be on this site?'. The answer is a definite 'yes', because thanks to those ladies who still post on here years after diagnosis, when they have moved on with their lives, it gives us all hope.
Thank you to them all.
Thank you for posting these comments. I am at the begining of my treatment (2nd chemo on Tuesday)I had my hair shaved off today as it was all coming out so I am feeling pretty low. I have had a few dark moments just recently worrying about secondaries and how long I have left on this planet but reading these posts have certainly made me feel more positive about the future. Thank you ladies.
Much love to all. Karen xx
Yes Val you are a star..I was trying to gently point out a couple of views in my posting but you have explained my exact feelings much more clearly.
Thanks Rhian, I follow your posts regularly and I think you are a star too. Take care, much love Val XX
Hi, there are lots of positive letters on many of the threads from women who have had BC for years. I am one of them and I had BC in 1989 and had a mastectomy. In 1999, I was diagnosed with bone mets. I am presently on chemo but feel very positive and always have. When I was first diagnosed I was as scared of dying as everyoine else and cried my heart out. But I have been previledged to see my 2 girls grow up. They were just 7 and 14 at the time. My husband has been a tremendous support which helps too. I am so glad still to be here and want to let newly diagnosed women know that there are people who have survivied this dreadful disease and are enjoying life again. I am all for a positive thread but there is loads of support on the other threads too. When you are ready you will be able to read them without fear. Take care all of you, love from a very happy Val (Scottishlass) Xx
I have 2 friends who have had breast cancer, one was dx 20 years and the other 13 years ago. I think we need to hear the good news about ladies who survive and move on with their lives
I bumped into a lady one day in a charity shop and she was 82, and looked fab and had BC 20 years ago, she actually changed my whole view on lots.
But those that come one this site feeling scared and down also need support, i have read about things i wasn't even aware of which i hope make me more informed.
so lets keep positive threads going , but dip into the other too because theres nothing better than hearing form someone that it all does get better and is doable
My aunt had a very aggressive BC with most of her lymph nodes involved back at the start of the 70s and she went on the trial for the first real chemo drug developed. She died 3 years ago aged 83, just a few weeks before I was diagnosed. My oncologist told me she saw old ladies who were still well 30 years on; the same thing was told to me by the nurses who did my Herceptin. My BC nurse's mum has had BC twice, 14 years apart and is still currently fine 5 years on again.
I've really just found my own way of dealing with this, although admittedly it wasn't that easy getting there. I'm 3 years post diagnosis tomorrow and am grateful for small pleasures. I'm also not too scared to focus on things in the future now, like finishing my course, getting my website up and running and being more involved in the business we run.
I also met a lady last week - late 70s - said she had it 11 years ago, and feels absolutely fine now.
Also attended a support group several months ago for those past treatment and there must have been about 40 - 50 ladies there and apart from one all were doing well many years later.
I sometimes feel depressed after I have been on this site as it seems only those who have problems come on here. Rarely do you hear from someone who had it years ago and is fine but then I guess they do not need the support.
And another thing - bikini line doesn't need doing, neither does lip or under arm wax!!That has to be a positive SE and the money saved can be spent on really good chocolate from Montezuma or Hotel Chocolate!! mmmm.
I'm a believer in positivity so thanks for the thread.
I thought I'd let you all know about one of my neighbours, she's 92 and had breast cancer when she was in her 40s!
absolutely! I was diagnosed three years ago this month and had all the treatment, mastectomy, chemo and radiotherepy and I have just had my reconstruction done (about 6 weeks ago) AND I FEEL FINE! And whats more the sun is shining!
Hi - what a good thread to start. I like positivity and hearing success stories. When first dx in March I couldn't stop crying and think I cried everyday for about two weeks. Everyone I spoke to ended up passing me tissues. When I met the two surgeons who did my double mx and immediate reconstruction I felt blessed and their abilities and attitude filled me with confidence. This was the start of my positive thinking and I had a good result from the surgery. When I first came out of hospital after surgery I spent a lot of time reading up on triple negative breast cancer which only resulted in scaring me to death. I then decided that if I feel OK when I wake up in the morning I am just going to get on with life as a normal as possible. I have now gone 5 months without crying and enjoying each day to the maximum. I no longer worry about trivial things and appreciate my own surroundings a lot more - we have beautiful scenery and walks near to where I live which I never really noticed before. I also never complain about my age - it is a privilege to get old - and now shut up when it is pouring with rain. Life is not a dress rehearsal and as a teacher once said to me - you should live each day as if it is your last.
I guess we will all have our own interpretation of being positive? My own definition of 'positivity' is my accepting my diagnosis and finding a way of moving on from there, with a clear vision. Seeking information and meeting others in the same boat has been a very positive move for me although I realise this approach would not help everyone. Finding my own way of living with breast cancer (that took some time) has been empowering and has made me feel less helpless.
I see hope, support, and friendship on all the corners of all the forums throughout this board. Especially the ones I frequent and these are the ones where hope is sometimes least expected.
Elsbeth I wish you well and better days ahead.
I'm up for positive stuff. I do the three word summary game - thats just fun . feeling calm and happy at the moment and learning to live in the now.
I thought it might be nice to have a thread with only positive news on. I spent most of last night awake worrying about all things related to the dreaded BC and most of today crying feeling sorry for myself (This is not really like me so I'm putting it down to the previous night's lack of sleep!)
Then this evening, I met up with a friend who has just been given the 10 year all clear and it has really lifted my spirits. I am only 14 months post diagnosis and still having treatment with herceptin and tamoxifen so to hear this positive news has given me a real boost.
Would anybody care to join me in some positive thinking???