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A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I've not long moved to France. Pink October has been happening here, too and....

my local hypermarket has been selling pink merchandise as well, but it's not the 'fluffy' kind.... .. it's pink buckets, mops and dishcloths!

I just can't get my head round this one (is there some kind of subliminal message that has passed me by, do you think?) - to be fair, they don't seem to have many left, tho'!

Sorry if this is a bit off-topic, but I did want to share it!

X

S

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Sounds good to me, ginger wigs for everyone and some lovely ginger cake lol.

love mellx

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Thanks for posting the link Jane, and Dahlia no need to regret starting the thread, although having read through the website I have a clearer view of what is meant. I still do believe any publicity is good publicity, but understand that 'bandwagon' approach some companies take can be somewhat distasteful

Seems I inadvertantly agreed with what you meant, my lodger mentioned about some items in tesco's last night that a % went to charity for everyone bought, I did reply, that's nice, lots fancy bras that we can never ever wear to feel feminine in raising money, why could they just not send the money. So I guess that is the message you meant.

I think it would be nigh on impossible now to stop the 'pink effect' but love what I have seen people do to support the various charities, even if they did arrive at the decision to do these things because of the hype.

Everyone has an opinion, and we are all entitled to it (cept my OH, when I want his opinion I will give it to him 🙂

Nikki

ps melly2, lets start a wear it ginger campaign 🙂

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I'm a ginger too jantharra and know what you mean lol.

love mellx

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Dahlia

Thank you for starting the thread...its a really important debate, and thank you for mentioning my essay. Anyone interested its on www.janera.co.uk When you get into the site click on main site. I have written two pieces...one on pink October and one called Fashion Show....for a different view on the October Fashion Show spectacular.

Jane

mrsblue
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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Can't find any such article on this site, not on Jane's blog either... Can anyone help?

Surely there must be other ways to fund-raise - and raise awareness - without all the pink stuff, which obviously wasn't thought up by someone who has had bc herself/himself (correct me if I'm wrong)...
... but I haven't any alternative ideas!

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I wish I hadn't started this thread, it's way off course now ...

Please read JaneRA's article about "pink ribbons inc" - THAT is what I was on about, not the laudable, much appreciated, mammoth efforts we ALL make to raise funds locally and then pay every penny (and more) directly to BCC, Cancer Research and so on.

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Just wanted to say I don't personally care if people know all the full details and understand what they are doing or not, in fact it would be better if none of us ever had to find out about breast cancer, but sadly that utopia is some way off, if ever.

The way I see it is so long as they are willing to raise awareness and money to make the world better able to cope with cancer then it's fine with me. And from all the pink hype if only 1 person checked themselves and discovered a problem early enough for it to mean they didn't have to go through the worst of the treatments or ultimately die from this disease, then it's still a good enough reason to paint the world pink for October.

My partner has just shaved his head to support my 2nd time in chemo and to raise money, so far it looks like he has raised around £2000 just by this simple act. Good on him and everyone else who does something and on those who support them, ultimately though no one should feel forced or pressured into fundraising.

As for the pink part though, can I just point out that I am a ginger, have you SEEN what wearing pink does to us *smile*

Nikki

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Thank you to IreneM and Melly2, you've made me feel better.

I'm a sister of someone diagnosed and I've done lots of pink fundraising.

And I really did understand the issues and have been very very aware of what breast cancer means. You tend to be when you hold your sister holding her baby and all three of you are crying as you have no idea what the future holds.

Some of my friends who did the events with me may well not be so aware but they raised shed loads of money so I forgave them their ignorance. Hands up honestly before this happened to you or a loved one - how much did you actually know? It's a knowledge that naturally people wish to avoid.

So if I want to paint myself pink head to foot in October I know it's for the right reasons. Any money raised from me being silly is better than none.

I have to say though my sister doesn't EVER join in with me, especially when I did a sponsored no booze for a month!

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

We've been through it, had the highs and many more lows. We have had so many people there for us. Friends, family, colleagues, BCC, MacMillan, GP, Med team the list goes on.

I was diagnosed in Oct 06 and so it's my aniversary month.

I don't know why it is a problem that this month is targeted for breast awareness and that people wear pink, jump out of aeroplanes, get their back waxed or dye their hair pink.

THANKYOU to everyone who makes the effort to raise cash. THANKYOU to all the people who are just trying their best to help others. THANKYOU to the October pink brigade!

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I think most of the people taking part in fun runs,moon walks and other events have relatives and friends or know someone who is going through,had or has died from breast cancer or had breast cancer themselves and know only too well and are very aware of what breast cancer means.Some may not be affected by bc or understand what it means but they are still giving their time to raise money .I do agree with you about giving the total cost of something to charity and not just a pound . I dont understand the comment about 17 years down the line and having the right to use the cancer card all the time.and I think it can be difficult for friends and relatives to know what to do,say or give.

love mellx

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I have a lot of reservations about "raising awareness" - I'm not convinced that some of the people taking part in the fun runs and "wear something pink" days are actually "aware" what breast cancer means - it's a bit of fun for them and demonstrates that they are caring and socially aware of "others who are suffering". And the "awareness" often doesn't translate into anything substantive - buy a handbag and a pound from the price will go to cancer charity X. Well, no, why not just give the cost of the handbag straight to the charity? Oh, right, because actually we're looking for a feel-good way to do some spending.

On the subject of moving on - no, some, sadly don't get the option. But I know people from my first time round - 1991 - who are NED but are still, first and foremost, "cancer patients". And I have a problem with that too - 17 years down the line, I'm not sure you still have the right to use the cancer card all the time.

Interestingly, for years since my first diagnosis, in October I've had pink bits and bobs given to me or presented for my approval - from the kindest motives. But this year - since I've been diagnosed with a second primary - not a peep. No-one in the family or friends offered me pink ribbons or told me they were wearing pink to work or how much they were doing. So I'm not so sure the "aware" outsider really wants to be up close and personal with someone who just might have a breast cancer "problem".

Lyn

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Good comment Sarcath, i was unaware about November as well.

I dont particularly like all the pink stuff but if it raises awareness then thats fantastic, but you know there are a lot of people out there with conditions just as bad or worse than ours who very rarely get a mention in the press so I dont think we should complain too much, just ignore it if it gets to you. I did the Edinburgh Moonwalk last year not only to raise money but to try and keep fit as once i had committed to the walk then i had to put in the training (oncologist told me to try and walk 30 mins a day as this can be of benefit in prevention) ha so much for that advice i was walking miles a week but still managed to get secondaries in my hip and spine lol anyway i'm glad i did it as i prob won't manage to do it again but who knows, maybe.

Trish

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

As I have said before I work for Asda,and have done for 18 years, so Tickled Pink has always been an important messege.I have sat in a bath of pink angel delight,and other various mad topics thrust upon me!!
Little did I know it would happen to me,but last year my OH did a sky dive for Everyman,prostate cancer, and raised funds,weeks before my dx.
After what we have been through this year he agreed to have his chest and back waxed---little did he know how much pain it involved.
After the first few his comment to me was "there is no one else in the world I would do this for"
I was also dx a week before our wedding,so our first anniversary was memorable,but Oct 27th was a random date,chosen months before

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

There is a huge separation between the fun run/pink October/fluffy aspect of charity fundraising and the reality of living with gruelling treatments and difficult prognoses. But all of us (simply by using this site, let alone other BC services) have benefited from fundraising efforts of the pink variety. And is anyone actually proposing a serious fundraising alternative?

The cancer charities, by and large, do a great job. Many people here have found support from Macmillan, Backup etc. I've personally found this site brilliant and the oncologist looking after me is leading a Cancer Research funded project which aims to understand lobular cancer better.

The point I'm making is that all of us benefit from other people's fundraising efforts, however ghastly and tasteless they may appear (although there's some aspects I've smiled at, including the ref and linesmen in a Premiership game a couple of years ago wearing pink shirts). And sometimes it's a way of allowing networks of friends, family, colleagues to show a bit of solidarity. After all, it's not just us that's affected.

So I don't worry too much about pinkness in October. In fact, next year I'm aiming to do a fun run, partly as a fitness target, partly as a way of giving something back. Meantime, if anybody acts towards me in a rude, tactless or inappropriate way... I'll make sure they know how I feel about it. Which is not exactly pink and fluffy!

L.

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

My mum died of lung cancer Oct 2003 didnt know November represented it thanks for letting us know.
Love Debsxxx

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Having read all the above comments about pink October I feel I would like to ask 'How many know that November is lung cancer month'? I thought so - not so very many. And therein lies the benefit that breast cancer gets from all the publicity - more from charities and far far more funding for research than lung cancer which kills about as many people. As one who has personal experience of both I can verify that there seems to be much more support and much more in place for breast cancer sufferers.There are so many other cancers too that rarely get a mention and, I guess less support.
I think we should be grateful for the all the efforts people make in fundraising and appreciate what it contributes to breast cancer care.
Sarcath

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Dont like November hate fireworks got burnt sat around a bonfire when I was four, cant blame bc for that.

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I never made a big fuss when I was diagnosed with primary bc, just got on with my life. Went to the appointment each month for 3 years and then every 6 months and wham a secondary diagnoses. Now I cant move on well I can but I am not looking forward to it.

Love Debsxxx

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

indeed Mrs Blue! We're such a bore aren't we those of us who just can't seem to get ourselves out of this cancer loop. Must ask a psychologist how to get out of it. People with cancer can be so depressing don't you think?

Jane

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Hi Jennywren, i understand what you said about people avoiding you and feeling like a leper, as this what happend to my sister people she knew would cross the street and look in shop windows just to avoid her this upset her but she was a strong willed person so would cross the street and said hi to them (she would find them quite embarrassed) i think that they should have been ashamed. When she asked one "friend" why she ignored her her reply was that she really didn't know what to say, many of her friends stayed away. Yes funnily enough they turned up at her funeral tho' and that was the sad part she needed them when she was alive not shedding tears at her funeral!!
I will continue my fundraising as i have seen it form both sides as somebody who has had to deal with breast cancer in the family and for somebody who may have it and never know when i may be thankful for the monies raised. Of course there are lots of charities out there which i do support also but the macmillan and bc charities are the one's closest to my heart. Thanks for your comments x

mrsblue
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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

"had really moved on in the last few months, but some people are unable to" ... such as those living with secondary bc!

cherub
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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I sometimes see the fundraising aspect from a different perspective. I know a few BC ladies who are involved in a lot of stuff like fashion shows, race for life etc. Whilst I think it's great they raise a lot of money, I do sometimes feel they are keeping themselves in what I call the "cancer loop" and it's like they are a bit stuck there. I had a counselling session a couple of weeks ago and mentioned this to the psychologist as I don't really feel a need to be with other BC people any more and don't want to be in that "cancer loop" if you like as I would feel it stopped me moving forward. She said she felt it was because I had really moved on in the last few months, but some people are unable to.

I have witnessed this recently as I attend a monthly meditation group with other BC ladies. It was not supposed to be a support group (the original members were all totally against this) and was purely to explore meditation. However, a very nervous lady joined the group a few months ago and the dynamic has changed as the new person would benefit from a support group; this has also had an effect on another lady who was doing really well and moving on, now she has gone back to talking about the worry of all her aches and whether it has come back, which is where she was over a year ago. I've decided I'm probably not going to keep up with the group after Christmas as it now depresses me a little and I just want to get on with things.

Sorry if that offends anyone or is a bit off track, but I learned last week that someone I know has had a brain tumour removed and has been given 2 years if he has treatment and 2 months if he doesn't. It suddenly made me realise just how lucky I am, that I will be a long time dead, so I need to just get on with the business of living again.

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Lol, it is not about the fundraising per se. Of course not, but I tend to agree with Margarets first point. A woman I know is already planning her moonwalk for next year. She makes a lot of noise about this event but ignores me and turns away if I am near. My concern is that she (and others) know I have secondary breast cancer and while they can make a very big noise about their fundraising, they can hardly look me in the eye. I just think it would be great if some of the people who indulge in fundraising actually understood what breast cancer is all about. Obviously my views do not apply to all fundraisers. I am just sick of feeling like a leper to be avoided. Tomorrow I will be attending the funeral of a friend who died from breast cancer and I doubt many of them will be there.

Hope your biopsy comes back clear.

Jenny

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

can i say, i have gone through lots of emotions when i see the 'pink' adverts this year, something which normally doesn't affect me at all........................but that's because i've never had breast cancer before! I happily shove my quid in a pot and think no more about it.Now of course, I'm doing a LOT of thinking about it!! In my area, people were outraged that our big, local hospital had no radiotherapy machinery to treat people with cancer..........so they raised the money to buy it.Now, I did my lttle bit and am about to use that very machinery.The hospital also now has a first class breast care unit, much of which is supported by donations.So, i guess the moral of my story is, NEVER feel that fund raising is wasted or that people who need to use the equipment and/or facilities are unappreciative.I for one am immensely grateful to every single person for every single penny raised and it's quite humbling to think there are so many folk out there who do care, and passionately, about raising the money to help others through very difficult situations.

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Oh my goodness lol, I am sorry that you should feel this way about your fundraising. Of course you are not wasting your time and energies by doing this. What on earth I would have done without people like you who raise funds for both research and help I do not know.

I admire you immensely and think that it is a tribute to your sister that you continue to do so much to help others dx with this terrible disease.

I do hope that my comment did not affect you. I was puzzled that the girls seemed to know nothing about breast cancer not the fund raising itself.

Please do not stop , your efforts are so needed.

I wish you well and trust that the outcome of your biopsy is good.

Margaret

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I am notsure what to make about the comments made about all the PINK hype. My sister who died of breast cancer's birthday was in October tho she died in January 17 years ago at the age of 32. Since her death myself and my family have been very active in raising money for the Macmillan nurses who came into assist my sister and any of the breast cancer charities both locally and nationally. I myself have taken part in the Edinburgh half moonwalk and this year the London full moonwalk marathon which left me with a chronic hamstring injury! was my fundraising efforts in vain?
I have been lucky enough to get a place on the Inca Trail to Walk the Walk in Peru next June all for Breast Cancer, this will however depend if i can get my hamstring to behave!!
I am a high risk of breast cancer and had my recall last week as there was suspision with my mammogram a needle biopsy showed some abnormal cells and i have an appointment for a core biopsy next thursday. I have always been very supportive in these fundraisers and think that people always surprise me at how generous they are but would hate to think that it was not apprecialted by anybody who was suffering from the breast cancer or if the money realy was not doing what it is supposed to be! Am i being nieve and wasting my time with these fundraisers??

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

A well known clothes chain store was selling cakes ....proceeds to BCC. I went in to buy some and mentioned laughingly that I thought I should as my hair was so obviously chemo-hair.

The girls were so embarrased they did not know where to look or what to say. I got the impression that they thought no one really ever HAD breast cancer. It's very puzzling. I keep thinking about their reaction and can't help wondering what they thought it was all about.

Margaret

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

I don't know whether its cos last October I was in the middle of treatment but this years has been much more low key I have to say and hasn't stressed me as much as I thought it would.

The only thing that made me abit cross was a text I received from a friend who I know sent it with the best intention. It was a very lovely message of support and friendship but it asked me to pass it on to 10 friends as a way of raising awareness. I didn't cos all it was raising was revenue for the various mobile networks. Other than this Pink October has passed by considerably quieter this year but this maybe to do with current economic woes as I certainly wasn't happy to wave the Pink Tin under my colleagues noses this year as we are facing falling orders and redundancies and it didn't seem appropriate.

Well done to anyone who held an event and raised much needed funds.

AJxxx

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Although I felt it ironic that 24th october was the day I was DX!!!! the wear it pink day - it def gave more meaning to my friends at work. I am not a pinky person and have struggled seeing cancer items all over the place but agree it is awareness and since my DX my friends have made more of an effort to check.

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Here here Sophiet!

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Isn't pink October about breast cancer AWARENESS?! We are all aware of breast cancer having been "victims" so I praise anything that makes women more aware. I was diagnosed at age 30 and none of my friends self checked, now they do. If pink october makes just one woman check her breasts and they catch the disease early then surely isn't that worth it?

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

Hi
well my work coleagues are fantastic, they did Macmillan Coffee Morning and raised £250, then they did today and have raised over £1000 pound for Breakthrough breat cancer. they did raffles, and some of the guys did a fun run round the site and along the main road wearing pink tu-tus, everyone wore pink, male and female in all the offices, they have been so supportive often sending me flowers and cards and lots of gifts, and asking me to meet up for lunch, or they call here to visit me.
Thnak you does not seem enough to say to them for all they have done, they are a fantastic gang of people, and as to the Pink thing i dont care so long as awareness is being made, and that people listen and take notice,
My eleven year old niece made 100 pink cup cakes and sold them to friends,

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Re: A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

My contribution was to target our black, asian and ethnic minority staff and to ask them to take part in the Breakthrough Generations study. Lots of them showed an interest so I hope it will help to gain more understanding of why people from ethnic minorities tend to have a worse prognosis if diagnosed.

other than that I can't stand pink or all the marketing that goes on about pink october

Mole

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A very warm welcome to November and farewell to October, pink ribbons and all!

It was a lovely colourful month with the autumn colours, dropping leaves etc. but pink, and all the "hubbub" is not for me. I DID help raise money locally for BCC because I know the event organisers were sending the whole lot to BCC.

Glad to see the back of it. Not "bah humbug" but just echoing Jane RA's thoughts from her web page. October's not the same anymore ...

How much from the non-local fund raising REALLY goes to the charities?