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A year on from diagnosis

54 REPLIES 54
cherub
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Laughing at you dog lol! My elderly cat recently decided to wee against the skirting board behind the kneehole of my desk, because I wasn't paying attention to her.We've been having problems with the phone/broadband line bouncing in and out for the past 3 days, also major crackling and have worked out tonight it's because she must have widdled on the line filter...........

Good about your results, something else to smile about.

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi all, I have posted elsewhere but just to let anyone following this thread my mammogram and bloods were normal yipeeeeeee!! Off to plan a very exotic and probably expensive holiday take care all love kittyx
Jesus my dog has just let rip its appalling and this evening and I have friends coming round must find a plug in. For the wall not the dog lol.

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

HI all fixed the light had wired up the switch cable wrongly.Who needs men ha! take care kittyx

Guest user
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Re: A year on from diagnosis

I know how you feel with PMT!!!! im married to an electrician, you should live in my house, he has lights everywhere, I even have wee blue lights around my bath!!!

hope you get it sorted soon

love

Carol xx

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi All Thanks for reply Val I agree four weeks is along time to wait may ring BC next week. I wonder if anyone else has had a very sore breast after mammogram a year after lumpectomy. I know they struggled to get good immages and at one point I felt as if my breast was about to pop. I firmly believe that if this was say testicular cancer there is no way anything as barbaric as squashing an allready painful body part between two metal plates would be accepted.I am also concerned that if there is further cancer in the breast would not the extreme pressure dislodge/disperse cells. Or am I just being dramatic.
On a different note is there an electrician out there. Got fed up waiting for new light fitting to be fitted by hubby or son so got on with it. Well four hours later finally got the light to work.Only just discovered that when I switch on any other light new one comes on and the rest of the lights in other rooms dim.I may pretend I meant to to do this as I am not very good at accepting critisism at present. I seem to have permenant PMT[ probably why i wanted light fitted NOW. take care kittyx

scottishlass
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi KItty, four weeks sounds rather a long time to wait for your results. Can't you ask the BC Nurse, if you have one, if she can access the results for you sooner? Give it a week then give her a call.
I have tumour markers in my blood and they can be useful when having treatment because you can monitor to see if chemo for example is working for you. But I understand that not everyone has tunour markers. ( If anyone knows differently please let me know but this is how it was explained to me years ago). The markers I have are called CEA, and CA125. I have been told that there are NO markers yet for BC but these markers are for other types of cancer, but it has been found that people with BC who have these markers can have raised CEA and/or CA125. Sorry I cannot explain it better but your BC Nurse I am sure will do a better job. Good luck with your results. Love Val X

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi all,mammogram was all I had expected and maybe a little worse.The anxiety of last few days got the better of me and I was in floods of tears just taking the gown off.Had to have dodgy breast done twice and still they were unhappy with result but said it was the best they could hope for.The results will not be available for four weeks , so another anxious wait.I also saw oncologist regarding pain/dicomfort in my neck BC side. She gave me a more than thorough examination and said she could feel nothing untoward. I had bloods taken to check for among other things tumor markers[what are they?]and again a four week wait for results.But hey I got through it another hurdle over. take care kittyx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Dear KittyW, I had my first mammogram about 3 weeks ago and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was surprisingly told on the spot that everything was clear! Was expecting a 2 week wait for results
Best Wishes
Leadie

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Thanks for reply Cherub,I was expecting discomfort hopefully not too bad. I will be seeing oncologist later the same day so maybe she will have results.take care kittyx

cherub
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

I found the first one quite uncomfortable around the area of the scar tissue, also my breast was very hard after rads. When I get my appointment sent I am also sent an appointment for the breast service review clinic, where a Consultant examines you and gives you the results of the mammo. The mammo and appointment are usually 2 or 3 weeks apart, but if there is anything suspicious on the pictures they get you in to the main clinic within a week I believe.

My last mammo in November was much easier as they have new equipment and it was a much more comfortable experience. The radiographer was able to check the images on a large computer screen as she was taking them. I've just seen the Consultant on Friday and everything was fine. That was the third one since I was diagnosed in 2006.

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi all, well the day I have been dreading has arrived, tomorrow I have a mammogram exactly one year since surgury.I am convinced it will be painfull as the breast the lump was removed from is still quite uncomfortable.Has anyone experienced this? Will I be given results straight away or is this like any other routine mammogram where you are contacted weeks later? I must try and calm down I am getting really over anxious. take care kittyx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Thanks for putting that one on Kitty , it made me smile 🙂 x

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi all Rhian that is so funny I thought things like that only happened to me . A couple of weeks ago i was with big sis in John Lewis. Mistakenly thought i would fit into a lovely silk dress in a size 14 ha!!. I should have remembered that if you struggle to get it on it aint going to come off. Due to rads on my lymphy arm i have very restricted mobility in the shoulder, and could not get this sausage skin of a frock over my shoulders.Then after a struggle of about 10 minutes i felt the flush start. Silk and sweat dont mix the dress just stuck to me. Plan a] put clothes on over the dress and leave. plan b] rip a seam and pretend it was allready torn. Just as i was about to become the incredible hulk sis arrived in changing room and eased me out of the frock amid much histerical laughter.Put back on the hanger soaking and slightly misshapen. I needed a drink after that and coffee just wouln't do. take care kittyx

cherub
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

I only believe they are magic if you can take them off and set fire to them lol!

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

So agree about the magic knickers! When you see them on these "make over" programmes, NO ONE says how bl***y uncomfortable they are! They can't be worn for longer than an hour at a time in my opinion, and what must they be doing to women's insides with everything squashed up & flattened like that.

cherub
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Lol Rhian, if there's one thing I hate it's those knickers. About 3 months after I finished chemo I had to go to a cousin's wedding and what with steroids an inactivity I had piled on weight. Anyway,I couldn't really afford a new outfit, so I decided to wear something I had with super control underwear. I then spent the whole time wishing I could get home as I felt like a was being squashed by a boa constrictor. Every time I went to the loo I had to do some weird Eastern ritual to get them down and up again,judging by the queue I was taking ages! As soon as we got back I rushed upstairs - my OH asked what was wrong as he thought maybe I wasn't feeling too good and I shouted back "I have to get these bloody elastic pants off!" You have no idea of the relief................

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

I have to post this.....decided to try on a pair of the super knickers at my local Debenhams this morning, well got into the changing cubical and puffed and panted, getting them on ...oh okay maybe i should have taken my Uggs off!!!! They didn't have a black pair my size so i tried on that awful, nude colour, dear god i looked like a bl**dy over stuffed frankfurter, speared by a tomatoe ( my face was crimson as i only went and had a hot flush. if i had them on and someone wanted to get amourous ( oh ok i know , i should be so lucky we can all day dream) i would never get out of the damn things. Anyhow here's the best bit............as i was taking them off i got the leg caught on the top of my boot (told you i should have taken my uggs off) ...lost my balance...fell backwards and ripped the curtain off the rail exposing my sausage form to the world outside the cubicle...to add insult to injury two assistants came running to the cubicle because all this had made such a racket..thank god it was very early on a Thursday morning and the store was virtually empty xxxxx

Guest user
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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi all

Sat and giggled at the latest posts (especially the magic knickers!!)- I am so glad I found this thread - it has really cheered me up.

thank you all - scooterbabe x

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Glad to hear you had a good time in Barcelona Kitty.I think iv,e got the same magic knicks as you.Cost quite a bit but still don,t do what Trinny and Suzanne claim.Ha ha.Rhian,hope you have a lovely time and we DO want to hear ALL the gory details.You sound like a fun person and after all your treatment you deserve to have FUN.

Take care all of you

Ann x

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Good to hear you had a fun time girl 🙂 I am off to Gurnsey next week to see a very old friend who says she has the fizz ready and chilling already woop woop found a dress that holds the wrongs bits in and the right bits out ( not that there are many of those left) and a couple of other outfits that i feel comfy in and just a little bit dressed up ( i live in uggs and leggings at the moment) Even went and picked up some new make up today. so will try and come back with juicy stories for you.
I have decided not to have the S Flu jab. Not having mamo until Jan/Feb now, I was told it would be on the anniversary of surgery but they have decided to leave it a bit longer for me.

rhian xx

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi all, Well I am back but the gossip is not that juicy. We shopped ate and drank to excess and laughed. Felt a bit like my old self again.Found ourselves in a bar with a batchelor party from scotland had lots of fun and a really good laugh. As no one knew about me so no pity, or 'being carefull' about what is said or done.Did wonders for my flagging self esteem. I hid fat feet in some boots,the fat belly in magic knickers[they were real magic knickers once on they looked like they were still full of rabbits and doves]tried the heels but ended up walking like Dick Emery so gave them up as a bad job.Try a weekend away with a mate[but not a georgous one lol]it really cheered me up.
Now back to reality has anyone had swine flu jab any side effects?
Is mamogram on lumpectomy breast very painful as mine is still sore and a bit lympodemic I think? take care kittyx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Well done Leadie, you must be over the moon.I am looking forward but dreading my first annual mammogram.Was your mammogram a year post dx. or surgery.Did it hurt as my poor boob is still very tender,though that could be me checking for lumps and things.

Scooterbabe,how ya doin??

Ann.x

cherub
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

I have to see a Consultant at a review clinic a couple of weeks after I have the mammogram done for the results, but if there is anyhting on the pictures they don't like they get you an appointment with the main clinic within a week.

I had a mammo done on Friday and have my appointment first week in December. It was brand new equipment this time, and was a lot more comfortable as they didn't have to squash the breast tissue so much. They were checking the images on a large computer screen as they were being taken. The machine had mood lighting on a panel behind it which really took my mind off things as I was fascinated by the colour changes.

Guest user
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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Congratulations leadie! Pleased to hear your brilliant news. I too will dread the time I have to go for my first mammogram since diagnosis, but it is reassuring to read that you got your results on the spot as it were. That is so much better than waiting for the letter to drop on the mat.

Chris x

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi All, Just got back from my first yearly mammogram. Very interesting that they told me within 5 minutes that all was well! I was expecting a wait of 2 weeks for the dreaded letter. But the nurse said because it's my first one they check it on the spot!
So it was a brilliant feeling coming out of the hospital. Has this happened to anyone else recently?
Leadie

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

hi

thank you for the welcome! I'm 18 months post dx and WLE followed by chemo and rads. Went back to work a year ago and was so busy getting back to 'normal' that it has only just hit me that I'm not going to suddenly 'get better' or magically look like me again. I'm also terrified of recurrence and am really struggling at the moment. thinking with my sensible head I know it's just something I've got to come to terms with and deal with but when my not so sensible head is in charge it is hard to see that.

X

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Whoops - I got it wrong again - pressed a button I shouldn't.

Story of my life....

Scooterbabe

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi Scooterbabe, welcome to the thread.I am waiting for Kittyw to get back to us with all the gory details.ha ha.I am off to New Zealand in December and I,m hoping to have plenty of gory details to share.Where are you in your treatment?I am 10 months post dx,9 months post WLE and SNB and 7 months post rads.Please get back to us.

Ann.x

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

I've only just found this thread and it has really cheered me up - I've been really wobbly and whingeing about being grey curly and fat but it's so good to find people who can laugh (even if it's bitterly) about it. I love the thought of one of us coming back from a holiday with juicy gossip to tell - I might even manage some myself at some stage!

X

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Kittyw,you and your fat feet have a brill time in Barcelona.Have a drink or three for me.Can,t wait to hear all the juicy weekend away gossip.

have fun

Ann.xxx

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Maybe its time I do something about the fat. I should have realised my feet couldn't just stay skinny they must have needed to bulk up to hold me.I have also found that i can't fill the bath deep enough to cover me, so have to use pints of bubble bath so i can have half a yard of foam on top of the water,just in case i frighten the burglar.I will think about a diet in the near future. take care kittyx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Kitty, you made me laugh too , i feel i am walking around with one of those fat suits on that French and sauders used to wear. i too tried to put on a pair of black boots i was wearing this time last year and couldn't get them past my ankles....my bl**dy ankles my foot never even got to the foot part, i couldn't believe it. I recently was invited to a wedding for weeks previously i thought about wearing an outfit i had in my wardrobe, yes i know i have put on weight but it was one of my 'big' outfits that had drowned me in the past but i always held on to it, i thought the week before the said day i had better try everything on....oh boy i couldn't get my fat arm into the jacket, and even though i have lost my wonderful boobs the zip didn't get that far up the dress it couldn't get over my belly which now protrudes past my boobs

love rhian aka grumpy old wonky wassers lady xxx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Kittyw,you have just made me laugh for the first time today.God bless you and thanks a whole bunch.Ann.xx

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi everyone just to add another moan I am planning my trip to the very chic Barcelona at the weekend and have discovered yet another kick in the teeth from this crap illness. Why was my long brown hair replaced by grey wirey grandma's hair.Why was my 10-12 figure replaced by a wobbly size 16.Why have i now got facial hair.Why was i given a fat lyphodema arm so i cant wear pretty sleeveless tops.But as if to completely put the boot in i've just discovered i have also developed FAT FEET.Been mostly wearing flip flops and tried to put on lovely shoes and boots to find my feet have also got fat.Well you've got to laugh. I have visions of me in my not so little black dress and tartan slippers Barcelona watch out!! take care kittyx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Rhian, Thanks for sharing that, my partner has been great too but he really doesn't understand what we've been through...how could he?
I too would rather have a cuppa with woolly socks. I am also like a stroppy kid and am finding I just can't tolerate people who prattle on about insignificant things and make them into major issues!! I find I'm loosing my temper easily and I just really don't care!!!! I feel I can't make the effort any more. It doesn't bode well for a healthy relationship does it?
I'm getting to the thinking I'd rather be one my own and not in a relationship as it's so much effort. I have lived on my own previously to moving in with my partner and enjoyed the solitude. I've also been married for 25 years before this and have 3 grown up children and gave so much. Now it feels like I want time for me and not to give any more. Could be seen as very selfish thinking, but cancer puts a whole new perspective on one's existence, doesn't it?

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Leadie , i know how you feel re new relationship, i had only known my partner for 6 month pre my dx, and he has been great but its so much for a new relationship to cope with, i have no sex drive and would rather a cuppa with my woolly socks on, the menopausal symptoms are much more extensive than i had ever imagined,( is this because we a thrust into it because of treatment) and i find sex so painful even with all the lotions and potions, and thats not even including all the BC stuff. I feel like a stroppy kid at times i just want to be on my own, or have a cuddle that doesn't lead to anything apart from another cuddle. I then feel bl**dy guilty because i should be grateful he still wants to have sex oh lordy i could scream

Rhian xx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi all on this thread. I was dx one year ago on Friday and am awaiting my first of 5 annual mammograms. Want to say that these comments are all the stuff I'm feeling. I was DX 3 months after I moved in with my partner. Felt it was a cruel blow to a new relationship. It has been very difficult what with coming to terms with the cancer and trying to maintain a new relationship. My sex life is non existent as I have no desire at all to be physical.I'm also going through the menopause too so that adds into the difficulties. I'm 54 and feel I just can't be bothered to make any effort with my partner, I feel I need all my energy for myself, to cope with all the stuff that breast cancer throws at us.
I am hoping it will get better as time goes by, but I hate it when friends and family don't talk about the cancer and presume I just get on back into life as if nothing has happened.
I'm sick of it all and am thinking of leaving my partner because of the stress of it all.
Rant over!!!!
Leadie

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Ann Rant away this place is great for that 🙂 xxx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Kitty,I have just read your post and I know exactly what you mean.My first anniversary of dx is 24th December.I had surgery,lymph node biopsies,started Tamoxifen and had radiotherapy all by the end of March 2009.All in all,I had 11 weeks off work.I have put on over a stone in weight,feel tired all the time and live with the uncertainty of this thing reoccuring.Everyone has forgotten the dx and treatment and just think I,m over IT.Sorry for going on,but this is my first public rant. Love to all, Ann

ejenks
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Thanks ladies, in a weird way all this helps!! At least I don't feel like I'm completely off my rocker now!!!

Rhian, know exactly where you're coming from about the hair and body. Even though all my friends love the short hair....I still hate it and think I look like a bloke....luckily my wonderful boyfriend doesn't think that!!!

Gingery & Sue496 you guys probably been similar to me...blithely going along quite happily and then boom!!! I think that's what has caught me so off guard is that I haven't really been on a downer for some time now so it definately caught me out!!

Thanks for all your comments ladies, it's good to have the support

Emma xxx

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Thanks for your comments Rhian. I have not gone back to work.I am expected to attend meetings with my manager every month or so to assess my 'situation'so see my collegues then.May go back in a few weeks though see how/where my head is.My year is up at beginning of november not looking forward to mammogram as my breast is still painfull after lumpectomy. Radiotherapy aslo caused me problems and have limited movement of shoulder and arm. On the bright side I've booked a long weekend in Barcelona with a good friend prior to appointment.I plan to be the 'old Kitty' in Barcelona a few drinks and a bloody good laugh. take care all kittyx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Kitty , don't apologise, thats what this place is for some where to turn to when all around you don't seem to be singing from the same hymn sheet so to speak, I admire you going back to work I have decided to not return for at least another 6 months, i just can't face it.

Brenda I read an article posted on a web site where an Onc says patients have to accept that once they are post treatment , they have to get on with their lives as all that is medically possible has been done to fight the cancer and they need to find a new normal.......NEW NORMAL what is that suppose to be,

Everyone else its sooo good to hear everyones experience it is so important not to feel alone and not coping. I too felt i was coping and being Pos...... ( i can't use that word i hate it i have decided it needs to be replaced with something ridiculous because its such a ridiculous word ,so now i use Fandabidosey in irony because that is far from how i feel when people say the P word to me )

Thanks for starting this thread 🙂

rhian xx

cherub
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

I am 3 years on and find the first 2 weeks in October difficult as I was diagnosed on Oct 5th 2006 and the previous October my dad died on the 16th after a struggle with dementia. It was a real release when dad died as he didn't know anyone any more and he was very old (88). I really thought that was it, no more worries about parents and I could get on with my life again as we had moved back to Scotland from London in 2004 to start afresh; I had been in London for 20 years, so this was a big one way ticket for us. Then I got hit with this of course and I remember at the time thinking how cruel life was. However, I also felt I would get through this and eventually come out at the other side, although it was harder than I imagined.

Dad's anniversary is Friday, once I get that out of the way I will feel a lot better. I am just waiting for my mammo and clinic appointments to come at any time now, so that will be the next thing. I just try to take each day as it comes and I try to keep busy with work and other things which helps me to stay focused and positive. I do sometimes wake up in the night with scary thoughts, but I have taught myself to bat them away and can usually get back to sleep ok.

kittyw
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi all i will be coming up to a year next month.Rhian i could have written that myself you so told it exactly how i feel. Yes i think everyone assumes Im just fat and lazy. In fact a work mate[i use the term mate very loosley]asked was i fat due to my treatment or just because i have sat in my a##se for the past nine months. They all seem to have forgotten the old me the one I like yourself have lost.Like Brenda I am also triple negative and havn't got a security blanket and I am terrified. Sleep ha! I also am awake most of the night wondering, worrying, planning or just panicing.Sorry to be so negative but I am. I like most of us hide it and my family and friends think I am coping really well. Again sorry for the miserable post but I just needed a moan. take care kittyx

brenda6
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi Ladies,

I too am a year on from diagnosis and had first annual mammogram yesterday. I got home and cried the rest of the day. I had bi lateral surgery last October,went in with one lump and came out with two, the second one not picked up on mammogram so I too don't have a lot of faith in them.

I am triple negative so feel have no 'safety' banket and I have found once chemo and rads finished, hair returned,almost everyone thinks you are better. The stress of waiting for results is awful, I am waiting for genetic results too.

I do think there is very little support once treatment has finished and this website is a godsend being able to communicate with people and knowing you are not the only one feeling as you do.

Hugs to all

Brenda x

crispy
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi Ladies

Am now two years on. Yes the first anniversary was tough and the readjustment to the new me has been quite a long journey. At 15 months when I was wondering whether this was normal a friend who works with cancer charities said be kind to yourself and patient your body may need a couple of years to fully recover. You also need to regain confidence that your body won't let you down again

As encouragement I can say, recognise what you've been through, find someone to talk to who understands ( I have two friends who have shared my woes), accept any help (complementary therapies, treats, adjustments at work) and take heart.This anniversary I went back to the area I walked in whilst coming to terms with the diagnosis. The weather was the same (a brilliant autumn day) and I was really able to enjoy it.

If you look through the site you will find this a common theme and there is work on how to support survivors.

Take care all of you.

Crispy

sue496
Member

Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi Ladies,

Thought I would also join in. I was diagnosed on 17th September 08, had 3 ops, chemo, rads now on Herceptin and Tamoxifen. It was interesting to read this thread because throughout I have been upbeat and jolly but a couple of weeks ago I felt tears welling up while in M&S and had to go into the changing rooms to recover! So glad I'm not alone then, we all put on a brave face but sometimes you just need to let it all out.

We have all come a long way - and hopefully will be going a lot further.

I agree with Carol a celebratory wee glass of wine is in order.

Love to you all

Sue xx

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

hi gingery, just think how far you have come in the last year, well done and if I was you I would have a wee glass of wine tonight

take care

love n hugs

Carol xoxoxo

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

Hi Emma,

I was diagnosed a year ago today, 6pm to be precise.

Funny but took myself shopping yesterday and found myself sobbing in the car ten mins from home.

I was very surprised as I didn't think it would affect me so but it has and I've been very tearful all day although I don't think everyone else remembers it the 'anniversay' or how sad I feel.

Hopefully another year will make the difference to us all

x

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Re: A year on from diagnosis

HI i am 5 years on and feeling OK at present but i find this time of year very difficult as this is when my orginal breast cancer was found. This would have been my 5 year clear point if i had not had secondary so it is a sweet biitter momnet in time. On one hand i am really glad i am here but on the other i am wondering for how much longer. I think everyone feels different. The issue with work was very interesting because i am having the same problem...Still going but reduced my hours.I think lack of sleep really is a real issue for loads of people. I must admit to start with it nearly drove me mad. The max i sleep on a good night is 4 hours but general i wake up ever 2 hours throughout the night. I think my body has now got use to it. It would be interesting to know how many other people this effects???