Hi booksandwine - I'm not surprised you're angry and frustrated. After all you've been through it must have been comforting to have a timescale to work towards to getting on with life. It really isn't too much to ask.
I can relate to you, although I was lucky enough not to need chemo or radiotherapy after my mastectomy in June, so I did have an immediate reconstruction with an expander implant. The problem was my surgeon - who I'm sure is a perfectly competent breast surgeon - wasn't so hot in the plastic surgery department. The result was a mess, and because it was botched, the implant couldn't be inflated. I don't even want my husband to see the resulting weird, growth-like lump on my chest.
I was passed back and forward, and spun a number of lines by the hospital for months about this, until I finally asked to be referred somewhere else. I really wish I'd known at the time how easy it is to be referred elsewhere on the NHS. Have you tried this? All it took was one quick chat with my GP on the phone, and two weeks later I had an appointment with a fab surgeon, in a different hospital, who in turn referred me to a great, specialist reconstructive plastic surgeon. I'm now on his waiting his list (and it's nowhere near a year long), and he's confident he can fix the mess. Just a shame I'll have had to live a year looking like the Bride of Frankenstein.
What I found really helped was researching the options. It made me feel like I had some element of control over things. I checked out a lot of breast surgeons who practice privately, but also do NHS work - websites of private clinics have testimonials, and detail on areas of expertise. I looked for surgeons who had excellent reviews for reconstruction. I then made a couple of appointments (not cheap - £200 a pop - but worth it I thought), and got ideas of how they'd fix things in their NHS practice, and how quickly.
Would that be an option for you? You could find someone who's more willing to operate quickly on radiated skin that way, who maybe doesn't have as long an NHS waiting list? You could also find someone you like a bit better - though I have to say, having met many surgeons over the years, communication skills aren't always a strong point. I suppose what really matters is surgical skill and talent - so sometimes we just have to put up with a rubbish bedside manner. That said though, your surgeon backtracking on his original timetable really isn't good.
Reconstruction can be a pretty long haul - no matter how good the surgeon.
Here's hoping you get things sorted soon ... and get on with life. (love your username by the way - books and wine - two of my favourite things :-))
All the best,
greenleaf x
