I was diagnosed with breast cancer about two weeks ago, I had a lumpectomy with an OSNA test a week ago which was clear but apparently one of my nodes is now showing positive and I get the remainder of the histology report tomorrow, which I assume will be the results on whether enough margin was taken in the lumpectom?? I have to go on to have my lymph nodes removed next week and now assume I also have to face the Chemo route. Everything is a muddle and frankly I don’t really even know what I have been told as my head is in such a mess.
I have been told I will be given a fully body and bone scan now as a matter of course and that is the part I cannot deal with, I am terrified. I have a cranky shoulder and a dodgy foot all on the same side as the affected breast and my brain is now completely in overload and I think I have cancer all over my body.
I am usually such a strong person and now I seem to have lost the ability to function properly and think sensibly, I feel sick and anxious the whole time.
Everytime I read about someone elses experiences they seem to be coping really well but irrational as it is I am convinced my shoulder etc are now something more sinister!
Does anyone have any advice please on how to stay sane and get back to being a ‘normal’ person again?
pointy
Just take one thing at a time I have had all the scans done and really there is nothing to be scared of they are nothing to worry about so just go along for your scans and take your time you will be find you will see just try and clear your head of negitive thoughts and think positive you will see your will get through it best of luck and cheer up I have just come through a MX and limph nodes removed and I am not a young woman if I can do it I am sure you will be able to cope
hugs xxxx Hilary
Oh sweetheart, I’m so very sorry to hear of your diagnosis and that you are anxious. Would you really expect yourself to be anything else? It’s a very scary time and once you know what you are dealing with you can get your head straight. The trouble is, we second guess everything, quite naturally.
Give yourself space and time and let yourself feel however you need to! I did and like you, I am an organised person but I couldn’t work or be with many people.
Take care and let us know how you get on with your results tomorrow. Good luck!
Viv xxxxx
Thank you both for taking the time to answser. I am trying really hard to just take one day at a time and deal with the here and now.
Will let you know the results.
x
Hi Pointy,
You have come to the right place, this forum is great for sharing you thoughts and talking to people who really understand how you are feeling. I know what you mean about thinking it has spread, when I first got diagnosed in April I had really bad back and neck ache and starting thinking it had spread. I got my results from my WLE and sentinol biopsy this week and they were clear thankfully. No mention of any other scans has been mentioned (but in a way I would quite like one to double check), just chemo to catch any stray wandering cells and then radio.
What your feeling is normal, and I thinnk you are still digesting what is happening. Everyone on here is fantastic, so keep coming here for support and try and speak to your BCN. Everyone is coping with this the best way they can, this means having good days and bad days, so don’t worry that you’re not coping, you will start to feel more in control once things start moving.
Take Care
Faye
Hi Pointy and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the support you already have here please feel free to call our helpline, the lines are open 9-5 during the week and 10-2 Saturdays and our team are here to support you through this difficult time (0808 800 6000)
You may find the following link to the ‘Just diagnosed’ information and further support ideas from BCC useful:
Take care
Lucy
Hi there,
It is normal and natural to be extremely anxious at this point. Waiting and worrying before you know the full picture is definitely the worst time, as you imagine all the worst possible scenarios, and go through all those emotions. Once you know exactly what you are dealing with, you will find you will calm down a lot.
In your favour, things are moving really quickly for you. A lot of ladies wait weeks for a diagnosis, weeks for their lumpectomy, weeks for their results … so while each day does probably feel like week, it really won’t be long before you get the full picture, then usually even the most panicky of us get some sort of “ok let’s deal with this!” attitude, and once you know the plan and start the treatment it becomes a bit of a routine.
Your path result will tell you the grade of the cancer, which is how aggressive it is, as well as if they got clear margins, and whether you have estrogen/progesterone and/or HER2 receptors. This determines what type of chemo regime you get and if it might be treated with targetted therapies, eg tamoxifen or herceptin.
I wish you all the very best of possible luck for your results, and when they do the axillary node clearance, here’s hoping that they are all clear! The scans are routine when they find a positive node, and hopefully they will come back all clear too! Tell them you have a dicky shoulder in the CT, as in that one they require you to place your hands above your head.
Hugs to you, and welcome to the bloody club!!! 
Hi Pointy, just to let you know that everything you feel at the moment is “normal”. Many of the ladies (and men) on this site have been through this waiting, guessing, anticipating game and so we can all relate to it. I remember so clearly all the fears I developed as my own diagnosis was uncovered: lump, the nodes and then full body & bone scans. Truly terrifying stuff. I am not going to tell you to not be scared or worried, it is normal to feel this way so at least try and accept that feeling v frightened is ok. Use the BCC helpline if you need to talk to someone, post on here if you want to. Like some of the others who have already posted I am now on the other side of treatment ( surgery x 2, chemo and rads) just taking Tamoxifen. My advice: be kind to yourself and try and accept that fear is normal just now, take someone with you to all meetings with medics so they can remember what you forget and ask for help, information and time if you need it. Best of luck, Helen.
I cant thank you all enough and I am feeling much calmer the more I read your responses. thank you so much for taking the time to respond, it means a lot to talk to people who are also dealing with this hideous stuff.
Will keep you posted.
Hello pointy, sorry to hear your also going through such horrid times.I had a lumpectomy last tues and 5 nodes removed.they had done the radio injection on the Monday and only one node was affected so I’m not worried that them taking out 5 that’s it’s spread.I was diagnosed with high grade dcis,which is unusual as I’m 30 and it’s normally in over 50year old’s.it was also presented UN lump form which too is unusual,things like this worry me but I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t change what’s happened so I mustnt think too much about it.I used to be such a worrier but having my daughter 15months ago has calmed me down alot.I had the staples removed yest and waiting on the results from lab.sort of geared myself for bad news in the reasoning that at least I’ll be prepared and if it’s good news then it will be more of a relief.
Have you got a good support network?I have but find it hard to talk as don’t want to upset anyone,I seem quite blase about it most of the time now but it is constantly on my mind.I hope you can find some help to your worries on here,its been great for me already…fingers crossed for your results and sending you a big hug
Laura x x
Ho pointy…you will get through this and next year you can look back at what you’ve gone through and be amazed at your bravery :). Once you have a treatment plan in place you will feel more in control, so as others have said try to take one step at a time and not think too much about the ‘what ifs’…easier said than done I know but ‘living in the moment’ worked for me, As did keeping a diary. My diagnosis was nearly 18 months ago now and I am getting fitter and stronger…I wouldn’t say I feel ‘normal’ again as I never was lol…however I am successfully living with and managing The experience. You will too, and be writing a post ike this for someone in the future…take care x
Hi
As others have said, what you’re feeling is entirely normal. We’ve all been there and do sympathise. The waiting for test results, and then for the treatment to start, is the worst time. It’s dreadful. Try to keep yourself busy (it doesn’t matter what… gardening, cooking…anything).
It’s over 5 years since my dx but my funeral arrangements are still there on my PC (they were done at about 3am one day when I was having very dark thoughts). I’m good. Didn’t think I would be, and was scared silly at the thought of chemo. Yes, I felt rough sometimes, but it was a means to an end, and I’m here enjoying life, family and holidays.
You will get through this, it’s a hard road but you will get there.
One step at a time.
Mal
I had a particularly bad day on Monday when they told me I had to go back in next week to have my lymph nodes removed. I had somehow gone into denial in a short space of time and thought it was over other than some radio and tamoxifen so it was a bit of a shock. I spent an entire day crying and feeling numb
I only found these forums today but I can honestly say that they have already helped me such a lot and I am so very grateful for everyones comments and I wll be a regular visitor!
Heres to calmer days… 
take each day as it comes. Hope you have a good support network as you will need people around you who you can offload to. I am now dealing with this for the 2nd time and it does not get any easier. you will get a breast care nurse who you can call at any time. Good luck and let us know how you go on . Hugs 
Take one day at a time lovely. I had a lumpectomy twice also 7 months chemo and radio then the 5 year tablets tamoxifen. Am not goin to lie and say its a breeze the treatment but keep focused and keep a positive attitude, that tell get you through. I carried on working when I could and the bad days just took it as it came. You will get thru this, am in month 18 after finishing treatment, I am still really tired but just trying to get on with things. Good luck hunny x
Dear Pointy,
Thinking of you. Anything I could say has been said very well already so all I can add is good luck with the surgery. As you have probably already gathered you are not alone.
Deborah