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Absolutely terrified

4 REPLIES 4
Morwenna
Member

Re: Absolutely terrified

I have a time difference problem. I live in Canada, that's Mountain Time zone, 7 hours behind the UK, and its actually nearly 3.00 am here now. I don't know why I'm still up. Well I do, its cos I had treatment today and a big dose of iv steroid, so I'm kind of wired!!!

Anyway, I better go to bed for a while, and see what happens 😉

Good luck for this evening. Post when you get back. I'll be up 🙂
LinsLleisio
Member

Re: Absolutely terrified

I know that rabbit caught in the headlights feeling... just wanted you to know you are not alone and thinking of you. Lins xx
pointy
Member

Re: Absolutely terrified

Thanks Morwenna, appt with consultant this evening . The consultant is a really nice man but I have this complete anxiety at seeing him! Clearly not his fault lol! had a good day yesterday buoyed by support on here and it's my wedding anniversary today so feeling stupidly sad again.
off for a massage this morning before my pre-op appt and then going to see the consultant with a clear head!!!!!
x
Morwenna
Member

Re: Absolutely terrified

Hi Pointy,

I answered your other post, but I just wanted to add .... It's difficult to take in information at these appointments, when your head is all over the place, as everybody's is! So its quite important to take somebody with you who will take notes and remind you of what was said, or questions you want to ask. If you don't have anybody you can rely on the be fairly calm and detached enough to listen for you, consider recording the conversation. Just ask first, but it should be ok.

The reason is that a certain word or phrase will make you go "BLARGHHH!", and while you are reeling and trying to digest one sentence you may miss the next half dozen! I considered myself fairly contained and well informed when I went for my appointments, but I still ended up missing things, or leaving with some erroneous idea stuck in my brain. You really have impaired processing when you are stressed.

If there are decisions to be made, and you feel you need to take a little time, then ask for it. Normally a delay of a few days or even weeks, is neither here nor there.

I always tried to get my results prior to my appointments, if I could, so I had time to research and understand some of the implications before meeting with the doctors and having to think on my feet.

Good luck tomorrow! xx
pointy
Member

Absolutely terrified

Hi I posted over on New;y diagnosed but thought i should move over here as I am getting so much positivity from reading all your posts
I am 51 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer about two weeks ago, I had a lumpectomy with an OSNA test a week ago which was clear but apparently one of my nodes is now showing positive and I get the remainder of the histology report tomorrow, which I assume will be the results on whether enough margin was taken in the lumpectom?? I have to go on to have my lymph nodes removed next week and now assume I also have to face the Chemo route. Everything is a muddle and frankly I don't really even know what I have been told as my head is in such a mess.
I have been told I will be given a fully body and bone scan now as a matter of course and that is the part I cannot deal with, I am terrified. I have a cranky shoulder and a dodgy foot all on the same side as the affected breast and my brain is now completely in overload and I think I have cancer all over my body.
I am usually such a strong person and now I seem to have lost the ability to function properly and think sensibly, I feel sick and anxious the whole time.
Everytime I read about someone elses experiences they seem to be coping really well but irrational as it is I am convinced my shoulder etc are now something more sinister!
Does anyone have any advice please on how to stay sane and get back to being a 'normal' person again?