Hi - new to all this ‘forum’ chat but hoping you can help. Just passed a year since diagnois and mastectomy. Was really hoping things would have gotten a bit easier for me by now by which I mean accepting I only have one boob and that I can still be me with only one, but it isn’t. My boyfriend is so supportive and tells me how gorgeous I am but I just can’t accept or understand that. Needless to say our relationship has come to a full stop. I was hoping to have a natural breast reconstruction but, on the positive side, I haven’t got enough fat. I really don’t like the idea of a false implant firstly, not keen on a foreign body inside me and secondly worried about any disparity that there will be between my natural and false boob. I know it won’t be perfect and I am a perfectionist. Know I need to lower my standards but that is easier said than done isn’t it when it is the way you are. I just so want to go back a year and be happy again. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful to be here and that I only lost a boob but I just don’t seem to be able to move on.
Have any of you lovely ladies got any words of wisdom that can give me that kick up the backside?
Hi Scooby
I dont come on here much now, but your thread jumped out at me and said ‘reply’.
It is hard, there is no getting away from it and one year on from MX to accept and move on, is not alot of time. I will be 5 years from DX this September, MX, chemo, recon, failed recon and more recon. Do you know what, it has taken me until the beginning of this year to finally accept that i really only have one natural breast. Recon is a shape under clothes only as far as i am concerened, because like you, i did not have enough fat for a natural recon, so had to go with the implant.
Be kind to yourself, do nice things, maybe go for CBT, keep busy, find inspiring people to read about?. To be honest, there is not a day that does not go by when i dont wish i could turn the clock back. But after all this time, i can face the day, get out of bed, work and look after kids and be okay with my body. That was not the case for a long long time, i was angry and bitter and all sorts!
There are loads of lovely members on here who have had MX and forwhat ever reason, no recon, so i hope they pop along to chat and offer some advice.
It does take time and that you must accept. Things do also get easier though as your focus changes and you find new things to give you focus and fill your brain with.
Hope some of this makes sense?
Naz xxx
Reading your conversation Naz and Helen was very interesting. Seeing it from the other side where recon has been done. The consultant I went to see about recon, after listening to my fears about it, said I was better to stick with the prosthesis because at least I can take that out my bra and throw it across the room when I get upset about things. If I have recon and I am not happy with it I am stuck with it. Think he had a point. The grief bit got to me too. I do feel like I am grieving for my boob. They were about the only bit of my body I liked and they did play an important role with me and my boyfriend. On the plus side I do now have an appointment through for counselling which can only help.