Advice on Taxotere

[Guest user]

Hi everyone
I'm new to the world of forums (!!) and just wanted to firstly say thank you to everyone for all the advice, tips, help and experiences you have shared -- they have boosted me no end - I only wish I had gotten involved in this great support mechanism alot earlier.

I have actually just posted asking for comments on the side effects of docetaxel but then I found this thread and am now working my way through all your comments!

I have my 6th and final chemo treatment next week - yippee - and with all your help I know I will get through it with a more positive frame of mind to cope with the side effects that laid me out last week!!

Thanks again.

Mary xx

[Guest user]

Hello everyone!!

I finished my 6 cycles of taxotere end Aug this year and went through exactly the same as all of you ( I didn't go off chocolate though....lol ).

I've just sat and cried after reading all your blogs, am soooo overwhelmed at how fantastic we all are, going through this sh*t time.

I had a bi-lateral mastectomy in March after recurrence in the right breast ( I had lumpectomy, FEC and radio 6 years ago ). I have an appointment with a plastic surgeon about a recon, which will hopefully be in March ( I have it all worked out )...........
I am going to be Fabulous at 40! :O)

I wish I'd have came on this site whilst on tax, I sat in the house, on facebook, watching loads of dvds people had bought for me, feeling sorry for myself all the way through, as swine flu had become rife in my hometown a day after my 1st cycle ( completely neurotic ).

I got myself "fitted up" with a double mastectomy swimsuit recently and am now swimming 3 times a week, and also helping set up a support group, have just passed my English GSCE ( innit ) and am currently doing my Maths and am loving life again.
I still get down days, but there are more good than bad.

Anyways, am waffling now.

Just wanted to say hello to everyone, and good luck to everyone whatever stage they're at in life. Stay strong, positive and keep smiling and laughing.

Love to you all!

Lis :O)

x

"We deny our vulnerability in pretence of strength, instead of discovering our strength in the acceptance of our vulnerability"

[Guest user]

Hi Girls, sorry to hear that so many of you have been having a bad time of it. Well done to all who are on the final strait, I'm very jealous!! Your words do give great comfort that there IS an end to it all, sometime!

I escaped for a week in Ireland for a family wedding then had second treatment when I got back. I expected it to be like the first....BIG mistake! I had 2nd TAC a week last Tue then didn't leave the house until about midnight the following Friday when OH took me for a lovely moonlit walk (lasting about 3 min!!) along the country lane we live on - I was in agony with the leg pains and HAD to do something! What is it with those injections? I only have one big one (as opposed to one a day for several days), and the inj its self isn't too bad, OH gave it to me this time, and do you know what my delightful Irish farmer said to me?

"Nothing to it, it's just like dosing cattle"

Charming!!

This time around I was completely knocked off my feet - I think no matter how much I read/heard the descriptions of the tiredness/exhaustion, I didn't quite comprehend it until last week. I couldn't have imagined that after a nights sleep, the simple task of getting dressed and walking downstairs would have me collapsed on the settee for two hours to recover!

I did find that gentle exercise helped my leg pain, but how do you exercise (even gently) when you're that tired? Not to be defeated I came up with a cunning plan...I lay on my back on the settee whilst OH took hold of my feet and gently pedalled them as if on a bike. I found it amazingly soothing and the good laugh we got out of it certainly helped as well 🙂

My hair came out pretty much on schedule - Onc told me 10-14 days after first treatment, and was pretty well spot on. What surprised me was how painful it actually was - did anyone else get that with the hair loss? I had a general soreness of my scalp and the sensation like lots of pin pricks going into my head, on touch, for about 4 days. Did anyone else get this or am I just a bit weird? I've not read/heard about it before, maybe its just insignificant compared to the rest?!

Also, not all of my head hair actually came out - I'm rather perplexed!! (how much info is too much? The rest of my body hair all came out if you know what I mean, with the exception of eyebrows and lashes so far) So I'm left with a fine and very thin, but rather even, covering of short hair - OH gave me a number 4 all over before it REALLY started to come out. I have been described as many things, the most recent likening me to a baby chimpanzee with the hair - I think I should be offended with all the animal analogies!!!

OK, I do rather ramble on don't I? I think I'm just grateful to be able to use a computer again after a week of not being able to face it!

Good luck to all those in the crappy bit right now - Keep the Faith, it'll be over soon

Hugs to all
Sarah
xxxxx

[Guest user]

Hi everyone, Dae an online party sounds good! i will certainly be glad when i have my last one as i am asking them to take the picc line out too, double celebration me thinks. Time to put your feet up, mine isnt due till next wednesday.
take care everyone
anna

[Guest user]

Dae - well done you, keep crossing them off. Hope this one is easier for you. I have my last one on Monday and it can't come soon enough - that will be No 8 for me and like you, I never thought I could do it. I have to have Herceptin for a year so will be a frequent visitor at the hospital :(, but in the big scheme of things, I will do whatever to get over this ..............

I'm enjoying a few "normal" days before next hit, but on the whole feel good, but very tired. It just comes over me and I have to sleep!

Rest up now and keep warm, chilly down here today.
Love to all
xxxx

[Guest user]

Just back from hospital, exhaustion will probably set in shortly so my last post for a few days i expect! thats no. 5 over -JUST ONE TO GO, WOW, NEVER THOUGHT I'D GET THERE!!!! I know there are others around same stage as me, Anna for one, and Deborah i think - can we have an online party to celebrate whrn we're all finished?? For those of you still with a few to go, hang on in there, there will be times when you feel you can't carry one, I had plenty of those, but you can do it, each one is one less and the end is nearer in sight. It's only a few months of our, hopefully long, lives, thanks to the treatment. Right off to the settee now!

dae x

[Guest user]

hi, good luck Deborah, i found my 6th cycle the easiest, so fingers crossed that you will, im hoping my next 2 are the same, well easier if thats ok lol. So many times i have thought, no more, but then you feel better and its bring it on.
We have all done so well, and im sure we will be stronger for it.
take care
anna

[Guest user]

Hi girls, just wanted to say a big Good Luck to everyone nearing the end of chemo ( and to you Dae for tomorrow. Hope your feeling a bit stronger and, you're nearly there too!). I've got my 6th and final one tomorrow, cannot believe it! When I started this journey it felt like an impossible task but I'm here, still fighting and so thankful to being treated. If you are reading this and just starting out then YOU CAN DO IT! it's not easy and everyone of us reacts differently but it is do-able. Find out about radiotherapy tomorrow too so will have a look at that thread too as this forum has helped me so much. Even if you don't participate it's amazing how much support just reading it gives.thankyou and let's all kick ass!!!!! Deborah xxxx

[Guest user]

Thanks Anna - you aren't far behind
x

[Guest user]

Hi Jayney. i remember thinking i can never do that, and now so close!
good luck with that last one
take care
anna

[Guest user]

Thank god it wasn't just me Rach - feelin much better, had a good weekend and hopefully this week will be good before my last chemo on Monday. Can't believe the end of chemo is nearly here. When I started 16th Nov seemed ages away. Still have to have Herceptin for a year, and all the other bits, but hopefully will tolerate that ok. Feel quite emotional about the last chemo..........
Thinkin of you all on swamp juice this week, keep going, we're nearly there.
x

[Guest user]

Hi Dae, hope you are feeling better now. Interesting what you said about radiotherapy on the left side, i did wonder that as mine is on the left too. My oncologist wont discuss further treatment till after surgery but i am pressuming the next step will be rads. Did they say what the chances of damage are? I would hate not to be able to get fit again, well id be devastated.
We are nearly there, 6 down and 2 to go for me!
take care
anna

[Guest user]

Hi, well I count myself as being VERY lucky in that i haven't had the horrendous pain some of you are describing when you have the injections. I wondered why the doc keeps asking if I have any problems with them, he never elaborates but now I know. I'm now slightly concerned as I will be getting them again from Friday for 6 days, but presumably because I've not had the pain the last 4 cycles, I'll be OK this time too, hopefully!!!! I really feel for those of you who get it. No. 5 chemo tomorrow (TAC), one more to go after that, the end is in sight. Have got an appointment in 2 weeks time for CT scan and "marking up" for radiotherapy. Got the talk yesterday about all possible side effects, short and long term! Because it is my left breast, the radiation could apparently cause damage to my heart as well as my lung! However, the risks are (apparently)outweighed by the benefits, I just have to trust them I suppose!

Because of being so ill after last cycle I've hardly been out of the house except to and fro the hospial (luckily only 10 minutes away - i can see it from my back window!), however hubby took me out for lunch today, my last supper!, which was lovely, nice restaurant overlooking Plymouths Barbican. No wine as started steroids today, may sneak a little one in tonight - is that bad, no, of course not!!?

We're getting there girls, got to keep looking forward, roll on 2010, hopefully we will all see the end of it then and get back to normal lives again.

Dae x

[Guest user]

Hi, welldone everyone finishing their chemo, i still have 2 to go, but nearly there, 6 down. I was lucky enough not to suffer too much last cycle but can totally agree the pain from them injections is dreadful, on cycle 5 i was thinking no way am i having any more of them. As i say though, better on cycle 6, dont know why. Hope you are feeling better Jayney, sounds like you have really suffered.
take care all
anna

[Guest user]

HEY ladies
I finished taxotere 2.5 weeks ago and still feel like I'm walking through treacle in concrete boots.
Jayney the effects from the bone marrpow boosting injections are horrendous, i was popping tramadol and then in hospital was given morphine, the doc said that in some patients the pain can be as you (and I ) described it. My Gp though it was a marvcelous effect cos it mneasnt that the bone marrow was responding well!
My eyes run constantly and i have about 3 stubby lashes to each eye so i look like peppa pig LOL. Anyone else had nose bleeds?
My st davids nurse (the welsh macmillan equivalent) said the effectsof the tax will probably last up to christmas. Then i will become more awake - yippeeeeeeee
anyway girls for those of you about to finish - really well done and keep the chin up - sending you all lots of love and positive vibes xxxx

[Guest user]

yes Dae, the same ones - the injection itself wasn't painful, but the pain to boost the bone marrow was unbearable. Like nothing on earth. Only had to have 2 and that was a precautionary measure. Thank god! Hope your chemo goes well this week and you don't have any probs.
x

[Guest user]

Hiya

These GCSF injections, are they the same as the ones I get for 6 days in the stomach, every 3 weeks, to boost the immune system, the ones I get are called Granocyte. Sometimes I hardly feel them at all, other times they are a bit painful but nothing too terrible. My daughter who is a nurse mostly does mine and she is great at them, though the worst time was when my dog got nosy, wondering what my daughter was doing to me, and nudged her just as she was injecting me, that wasn't pleasant!! Maybe you are talking about something different? I also got injections in the stomach when I was in hospital but they were to stop blood clots because I was lying in bed most of the time, they didn't hurt when they were done but did hurt for a while afterwards!

Can't believe I'm having chemo again in 4 days time and I still feel so weak and tired, I dread how I will feel after it this time! Just got to get it all over with, wish I could hibernate for the next few weeks and have it all happen while I was asleep!

Have a good weekend everyone, Dae x

[Guest user]

Hi Jayney, i am so sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time, did you get my side effects? I really think you got a double share, mine werent nearly as bad this time around.
Them injections are soooooo nasty, i agree, worse than the chemo, but worth it to stay out of hospital.
i hope things improve for you
anna

[Guest user]

Hi all

Yesterday was my worst day ever - 2 GCSF injections (one on Wed and one yesterday) and I was in absolute agony - the pain was taking my breath away. I have never had pain like it. 6 tramadol later and it started to ease a bit. Anway, bloods have shot up today so they did the trick, but I think the hosp was being over cautious. Told ONC that I am NEVER, yes NEVER having those injections again. They are worse than the chemo! How have you guys coped that have had to have them all the way through???? You are so brave. It was a truly horrendous experience.

Thanks for the advice re the spots, ONC seems to think it is the steroids so has reduced my dose for my last chemo - let's see what happens. He also said that the Herceptin increases the toxicity of the chemo so more nasties to deal with, hence more spots - great eh!The blisters on my tongue are not blisters but inflamed taste glands - yuk!!!! Cold is still loitering but thank god I am not in any pain!
Hope you are all doing ok, take it easy girls.
Have nice weekends
xxx

[Guest user]

Hi,
Dae, i have my 2nd to last one a week after you, it feels so good to be almost there doesnt it? I will be having surgery though and the oncologist said to wait till after surgery to discuss next treatment, i am also triple negative. Fingers crossed for us all.
take care
anna

[Guest user]

Hi Deborah & all,

Re watery, red, sore eyes, i get them every time, about last week of cycle, got drops for them from doc which give relief. I've managed to hang onto most of my eyelashes so far so it's not that, just another of the many side effects! Haven't had the spots. Just been out of the house for the first time in over 4 weeks (apart from to and fro the hospital), only went to a shop (husband drove) and now feel like I need a nap!

Deborah, I have my second last TAC next Wed, same day as your last one, then I will be able to say "one to go". Then rads, but I won't be having tamoxifen as i am triple negative so won't help me. Hope all goes well for you.

Take care all of you

Dae x

[Guest user]

Hi everyone, so sorry we are all having such a rubbish time at the moment.some of you are really going through it .glad you're out now Dae but take it easy. Really interesting about the 'spot' thing as I had terrible itchy spots all over my neck, chest and a bit on my face after my 1st tax and my ONC didn't know what it was but gave me Piriton which seemed to help.walking round with runny eyes (look like I'm permanently upset!). It may be cos all my lashes are now gone.is anyone else going thru this?last TAX on wed, can't believe it! Still got rads and tamoxifen to go but at least I might just get thru this chemo lark!!! Love to you all Deborah x

[Guest user]

hi Jayney, sorry to hear you having such a bad time! And them pains are nasty, a hot water bottle helps. Its my 3rd time having the injection and it wasnt as bad this time, hopefully next time it wont be so bad for you?
take care
anna

[aliceblue]

Hi, everyone sorry to butt in. Saw the post on spots. I had last tax at end of August after a really bad time (hand/foot syndrome, neutropenic - IV antibiotics etc), onc cancelled last planned treatment as said likely to lead to permanent damage. Neutrophils on their slow journey to recovery climbing from 0.0 to now 1.5. Handy having bloods done before herceptin as wouldn't know.

I had itchy spots (on face, chest and back) with both FEC and Tax. Eventually diagnosed as folliculitus (spelling?) and responded well to oral antibiotics. It took ages for anyone to really know what it was as I asked everyone on the back of other contact/treatment - GP, A&E doctors, doctors on cancer ward. It came back every cycle and only went when new onc in clinic prescribed antibiotics. None of my chemo buddies had it. Might be completely different type of spots though, but I didn't look very pretty...

Alice x

[Guest user]

Dae - Glad you are out and are feeling okish - rest up now.

The cold wasn't getting any better and the spots weren't either (apparently its the steroids). On top of that, blisters in mouth and on tongue and really sore throat. Phoned the chemo unit and they wanted to see me to check the bloods (which were low 0.4 neuts but they would be as this is my low week). So ONC thought it was an underlying infection, although had no temp and generally felt ok. Gave me a GCSF injection and had another one today, 5 days of antibox and have to go back tomorrow for them to re-check. He did say that if I had a temp, they would have kept me in. Let's hope these injections have nipped anything nasty in the bud and the bloods pick up a bit. Really annoyed as only have 1 chemo to go!

The pains from the injections are horrid, but this is normal apparently! Be glad when this is over now! Sorry for the moan! Fingers crossed for tomorrow.
love to all
xx

[Guest user]

Hi, nice to hear from you all, so we're not on our own Deborah! Fianlly discharged from hospital yesterday, my temp eventually stayed stable. Hey Val, I was also neutropenic (white blood cell count dangerously low). Feel very weak and tired so unlikely to have the usual "good" days before next Wed chemo but I want to go ahead with it if poss as each delay only prolongs things. Advised to get swine flu jab, have any of you had it? any problems? not sure what to do.

Janey, hope your cold is improving, make sure you take your temperature if you don't feel well, I didn't realise what an important indicator that is. If its 38 you must ring your doc or the hospital.

Take care everyone,

Dae x

[Guest user]

Hi, I dont want to tempt fate, i had my 2nd tax on wednesday and 2 to go. I thought the 1st tax was down right nasty, but that said, this 2nd one has been not as bad. In fact its been very bearable. Still the same side effects but they dont seem anywhere near as intense. Yay i can do this! I aint had the spots, but then thats good cos i would sit there squeezing them!
good luck everyone
anna

[Guest user]

Hi all

Been off the radar a bit, I had No 7 Tax last Monday and have one to go. Aches and pains don't seem as bad this time, but have picked up a cold and feeling very sorry for myself. Dae - hope you are feeling brighter and they get you sorted - thinkin of you.

I have the most horrendous spots on face and chest, look like a spotty teenager, I always get them on TAX. Use tea tree oil and hope I pray that they dry up. Got some fuuny looks today, looks like I have something really horrid!

Take care all
xx

[horace]

Just to say I always read this thread but only post if I have something useful to offer.My taxotere finished May 2007 and I had a rotten time with the se's including a short hospital stay with neutropenia.However it does pass and slowly but surely the side effects go.I am unfortunate in still having some peripheral neuropathy and no eyebrows!Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and wishing you well.
Love Valxx

[Guest user]

Hi Dae,well it's just us two I think at the moment! Where is everyone?! Hope everyone is ok.Anyway, you poor thing. Blimey, 8 days in hospital, you must be feeling so in need of your wkend at home in your own bed! I think it's for the best your next cycle has been delayed cos you will need time to get over this.hope they get your temp sorted. I won't bother complaining bout my baldy eyelashes as I think I've been getting off lightly with the SE's!good luck this week and hope you are back home again soon.Deborah x

[Guest user]

Hi,

Is this thread coming to a halt? I haven't been on for over a week and only one post - Hi Deborah! You seem to be having a not too bad time on TAC, funny how we are all different, my friend had 3 FEC and has just finished 3 TAC and she found the TAC far worse. I've only (ha ha "only") had TAC, 4 so far, and have been quite ill since the last one, nearly 3 weeks ago, just spent 8 days in hospital (only expected to be in overnight!) as I picked up an infection and my temperature keeps "spiking" at 39. Had loads of different IV antibiotics but nothing seems to stop it happening. Have been given weekend leave at home but back in tomorrow and may have to have a scan and xray. This weeks chemo has been put back a week as well which I'm glad about as I couldn't bear the thought of not having had my usual few "good" days before starting again.

Anyway, hi to whoever is still out there!

Dae x

[Guest user]

Hi girls, haven't been here for a week or so as my little boy's been poorly (loads better now and it's so good to be thinking about something other than BC!). Just wanted to add my support for Karen as I had 3 FEC with which I was violently ill with (vomiting 27 times in 24 hours, must be a record?!) and have just had my 2nd TAX on wednesday. I've had NO vomiting with the TAX, a little nausea for the 1st 2 days and bone and head pain (co-codamol and ibruprofen works for me), my nails are really tender but no sign of losing them yet and a sore throat/yukky mouth and if my 1st TAX is anything to go by then by day 7 I'm starting to feel a bit better. Because I was so ill with FEC I definitely am coping better with the TAX. And, it really does help if you can visualise that the SE's will stop eventually and it doesn't last forever.also remember that the dark days I have tend to be a few days after my steroids are finished which makes me feel less of a mental case when I'm crying on the floor!we are all so strong and can do this, just keep fighting even when you feel like giving up. Take care everyone, Deborah xxx

[Guest user]

I am so glad I use this website, its a real life/sanity saver. we can scream, shout, moan, complain, laugh and cry and all the rest of us UNDERSTAND!!!!!!
Dae x

[Guest user]

Hi Sarah, ha ha ha ha how very, very well put! You are so right, why shouldnt we be a little selfish, and if we think something is wrong, why shouldnt we say. I hate the district nurses doing my picc line, as lovely as they are, there is usually something they do were i think, oh i dont like that, but today i spoke up, and it was sorted, yay. And i feel so much better about them doing it now. Still cant wait for the line to come out though.
take care
anna

[Guest user]

Hi Karen

I too was terrified of feeling/being sick/nauseous. The nurses/cons/Dr’s/OH/Mother keep on and on telling me that there are so many ‘things’ they can give us that if one doesn’t work the next 6 will! So hang in there and keep kicking up a fuss until they find something that works for you!! (I’m having TAC (Taxotere Adrimyacin and Cyclo.....er giving up on the spelling!!), so think that might slightly differ from yourself, but the anti-emetics they injected prior to treatment worked for me, and the tabs they sent me home with kept it at bay as well – I only needed them for the first 4 days, but it was only my first treatment)

I have definitely decided to stop bothering about what I sound like/seem like to others and if something isn’t right I’ll make a fuss – in spite of what the OH might say that’s not normally like me! I think we all deserve to be a little bit selfish while we’re going through this p*o.

And the old you WILL come back! I’ve had so many low moments where I wind myself deeper and deeper down thinking how this isn’t like me…what have I become….where have I gone. And when I feel like that now I try to think ‘give yourself a break’ I think we are allowed to feel a little sorry for ourselves at times, I think the worse thing we can do is keep it to ourselves – that’s why these sites are so important. As Dae said, it seems like everyone else is getting on with their lives and we are somehow stuck still. But here everyone is in the same boat, so it doesn’t matter if you’re feeling low and pessimistic, let it all out!! We’ve all been there (and I fully expect to be there again at some point before the end of it all).

So I try picking up a funny book and losing myself – I’m a BIG Terry Pratchett fan and my big sis is sending me a couple of audio books, so if I’m too tired to read, I can just listen – It works for me!!

And sometimes, just sometimes feel like lying down, kicking my feet and scweeming and scweeming until I’m sick…and I’m not ashamed to admit it!! (I tried it once when alone in the house, it didn’t work as I was laughing at myself too much by the end of it, I must have looked like a stark raving loon – can I blame that on Chemo brain after just one dose?!!)

Sarah
xxx

[elinda45]

Hi Karen

I was terrified of starting Tax because I was so sick on FEC. Four hours after starting FEC I started vomiting violently and couldn't stop for 12 hours - it was terrible. I lost 2 stone in 2 months. After two session like that I was given a different anti sickness levomepromazine which knocked me out but stopped me throwing up. I still had nausea for 11 days but that was just about bearable when taking domperidone.

I went for my first Tax expecting the same but I wasn't sick at all. In fact I only had any nausea when I got a temperature.

If you do get any sickness ask for levomepromazine - my Onc said I could take that with Tax if I needed to.

Elinda x

[horace]

Karen I wasnt sick at all on tax-rarely even nauseous unlike fec where I was sick once each cycle and felt sick a lot.

[Guest user]

Good morning, feel a lot stronger today! Karen you NEED NOT be sick on Tac, there are loads of anti sick stuff (I won't say drugs!) they can give you - ask for them. I was very very sick with my first one but they don't know how you are going to react until after, like the others have said, some are some aren't. I was given strong anti sick stuff the second time and thereafter and haven't been sick again. Being sick will just weaken you even more so really important not to be!

Oh yes I can see myself sitting on a balcony in SA drinking a glass of chilled white wine as the sun sets, bring it on!! It is important to have dreams of what we WILL be doing in a few months time, just difficult to visualise sometimes when you feel low!!

Good luck Anna with the rads, I've been told its a dawdle compared to chemo so no worries then!!

Dae x

[only1chris]

Hi Karen,

Also not really sick or nauseous on tax... just damn tired and achey. The aches pass off ; the tiredness is cumulative but manageable though miserable. Water retention, dry orifices, lack of taste for me the other main symptoms. Kept my nails (so far) no numbness... we all are different in what we get but we all can cope with the ones we get and things will pass. You also get to know roughly how long before you start to feel better, and i found that helped. You KNOW things will improve and there will be good days again.
Prepare for the worst ( rest, drink lots, moisturise etc etc )but hope for the best
Oh how wonderfully positive i sound! But s...t scared about my next stage - the rads. Now repeat prepare for worst hope for the best....
Going to bed now will keep saying this to myself...Oh how sexy i am slathered with aqueous gel as i start to prepare my breast for the fires to come...
Oh BTW won at my bridge club tonight!! Maybe chempo brain is also starting to pass off??

[Guest user]

Hi Karen, i just wanted to add that i have read quite a few threads on tax and although i felt really nauseous i think most people were less nauseous on the tax than the EC. Sorry if anything i have written has scared you, it is really hard going, but it must be doable if i am going back for the next one. And if it gets us the end result that we want, then it has got to be worth it. I think maybe i just need different meds to help me through it.
take care
anna

[Guest user]

Hi Karen,

There is life after Tax, I know because I have been there. I was never sick or nauseous on Tax although I did have many other side effects. I was given tablets to prevent sickness and they did work. You have to be brave and just take everything a day at a time, it's the only way to get through. Don't feel like you are a wimp, you are being put through hell and it's fine to feel scared. Just keep asking for help and advice here and someone will respond.

E

[wills1]

Hi Chris

Yes you will see me there, what condition I will be in remains to be seen but there I will be! I have read many posts about the Tax and I am now scared. I am very sick and nauseous on the Fec. My consultant told me I can have the tablet emend whilst on Fec but not on Tax so I am terrified of being sick. It sounds like the SE are so much worse which I think is what is scaring me. I hate the person I have become I so long to have the old Karen back but wonder whether she ever will be back. I read many posts on this forum and feel quite ashamed of myself to be so negative because many of the women on here sound so positive.
Oh to be chemo free!
Karen

[Guest user]

Hi chris, how very inspirational! I will certainly bare all of that in mind when i have my next cycle. I think maybe i got off very lightly with the EC, and the tax was quite a shock, even though i knew it was hard going. I wonder if they give you the nasty one last for a reason?
take care
anna

[only1chris]

Hey Dae- good to see you back. Yes we all have those feelings; and it certainly has helped me to see who my real friends are. I used to bother about upsetting other people, what they think etc.. not now.I have realised how unimportant they are in my life. That said am planning to go to my bridge club for the first time since May tonight and am very nervous. Dont want people feeling sorry for me ! ( and i look dire) Dont want intrusive questions - and my husband is quite scared i might be more than honest with those who havent so much as called or sent a card if they dare to ask ( Like "i only talk about my health with my real friends those who have kept in touch over the last few months"..... will i wont i?? The old me wouldn't. This new me just might! So sorry about your mother in law Dae... what a load of s..t seems to fall at once.

Sally thanks for those kind and supportive words. Good to hear someone has not had too bad a time of it gives me hope.

Karen and ??? doh last post 2nd tax... forgive me chemo brain! (How will i count the cardds tonight ??? !!!)

Every tax treatment i said " thats it not doing another" Then somehow i did and the end came...Every time starting about the Thursday of my "good" week i started to get depressed as i anticipated the Tuesday treatment; but you know the fear is actually worse than the real thing. Each time i dreaded what the side effects would be; would they be worse?? In all honesty, though usually different, they are manageable. You DO have the strength. Energy? Well that is the main problem -tiredness and feeling you are no longer "you" because you cant "do" all you did before... But if you rest and enjoy the company of GOOD friends and family the time does somehow pass and you will not have to look back and regret not giving yourself the best chance. Dig in there gals!!

Poison? One way of looking at it. My friend who was going through this 7 years ago said " try thinking of it as heat-seeking missiles -on their way to blast those free tumour cells..." Pow Zap !! then drink lots of fluid to help flush the toxins out- about 2-3 litres / day (no more as dont want to dilute too much)and this will help you feel better sooner. I made a chart and ticked of the glasses and cups each day (having measured them) No nothing tastes that great but drink it anyway. Iced ginger ale i found one of the best...you will find your own. BTW my friend who had a poor prognosis looks great and is living a great life now. Yesterday when i confessed how down i was she said try visialisation... "when the bad thoughts come push them away and see yourself where you want to be when all this treatment is over..." so am sitting on a balcony in a vineyard in south Africa... view is to die for, sun is shining and the wine is chilled in the glass and sharp as gooseberries. Cheers all! Will i see anyone else there???

[Guest user]

Hi Dae, nice to see you have got through the 4th one, on a selfish note, very nice to hear that it has gotten better with each cycle, i hated the 1st tax, and am dreading the 2nd tax which is next week. Sorry to hear about your mother in law, thats a lot in such a short time.
take care
anna

[Guest user]

Hi all, Only been away a week and so many posts, congrats Sally on finishing rads, when's the party? I'm on day 7 after 4th TAC and they did say it would get a bit worse each time but this has been a belter, still feel totally blasted. I know how you feel Karen about all this stuff being pumped into us, you are a strong person, try to make the most of the last few days before the next one. Don't give up on the chemo, believe me I feel so tempted too.

Don't know about you and the rest of you, but when I feel so low about it all I feel so alone. Everyone, family and friends and workmates are getting on with their lives as always whereas mine has come to a standstill. I feel that I am fading out of their lives and they're forgetting about me. Having said that, 2 of my friends came round today, one with home made soup the other with a casserole, also had a call from another friend and from my mum, oh and not forgetting the GP who called to see me and check me over!! So I shouldn't complain should I, oh and my daughter who's a hospital sister and does my dreaded tum jabs!

See, life is definitely looking up, good nights sleep tonight (please) and tomorrow will be another day! One downside is that my mother in law is in hospital after having had 4 strokes in quick succession (she's 89 on Sat) and I would love to get to see her (4 hours journey) but GP advised against because of risk of infection. Hubby will have to go though.

Gosh, will stop now, I've obviously missed you all, writing my life story here! Take care everyone.

Dae x

[wills1]

Hi all
Thank you for your posts. Sally really pleased for you that you have finished rads. It must be a strange feeling as this is such an intense time and when it stops it must feel really weird.
My next lot of Fec is next Tuesday and instead of enjoying this time I now have of feeling okish I am getting more and more worked up about it. The thought of them trying to find a vein then pumping me full of poison just makes me keep bursting into tears. I thought I was quite a strong person but I seem to have become this miserable, tearfull, scared woman. I am going to ask the consultant about giving up chemo and find out how that affects my outcome. The thought of spending christmas feeling depressed and ill is not something I want to do. Sorry for the miserable post. Karen

[Guest user]

Hi, well done Sally, it must feel strange to have completed it all. Yay

[Guest user]

Hi All

WELL THATS ME FINISHED COOKING TODAY..............YIPEEEEEEEE

Only1chris....its not as bad as you might think, can only go on my experience had 15 no soreness, slight redness thats all, not really tired like chemo tired but just find i still need to have a rest in the afternoon when i can, slapping on loads of E45 morning and night and thats about it really. good luck with yours x

seems really strange now knowing that my invasive treatment is over start Tamoxifen tonight and have got herceptin as well.....i feel abit scared now its all over.. strange huh.

Just gonna try and get my life back to normal and enjoy it...still feels weird though.

Hope everyones ok

take care Sally xx

[Guest user]

hi Sandra,
good luck with the 2nd tax, my 2nd tax is a week tomorrow, i am stating to get all nervous again. I hope the 1st was the worst one, fingers crossed. i would be interested to see how you get on with the 2nd one.
take care
anna