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Am I allowed to ask about sex?

7 REPLIES 7
SamanthaL
Member

Re: Am I allowed to ask about sex?

Mel - the leaflet Jo put up has some interesting ideas about keeping lacy camisols on etc. I need this as my boob is still burnt and crispy from radio. We are also beginning to think about routine, but my nerve endings are definitely affected, and it feels challenging that little is spontaneous.
SamanthaL
Member

Re: Am I allowed to ask about sex?

Thanks Jo. Right now my body feels like a mine field of painful areas, but I want intimacy having years without it. Luckily my DP seems to still want some intimacy, but I think the minefield definitely kills spontaneity.
Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Am I allowed to ask about sex?

Hi ladies,

 

This is a subject that often comes up on the forums and there is lots of threads where this has been discussed previously.  To try to help you along I have put for you below the link to BCC's publication Your body, intimacy and sex' and hope you find it helpful.

 

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/treatment-side-effects/your-body-intimacy-sex-bcc11...

 

And here's also the link to the area of this website where this is discussed further:

 

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-information/impact-breast-cancer/relationships-fami...

 

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

newey47
Member

Re: Am I allowed to ask about sex?

I would just like to add something to this which might or might not help anyone. I am 56 and going through the menopause anyway.  Just had MX with lymph node removal 6 days ago.  All these treatments will take their toll I am sure BUT I just wanted to say that for those of you who were NOT menopausal before you started.  I am sure this is the biggest cause of lack of libido - TOTALLY. We always had an active sex life, we got together a bit later in life than some and it was always fantastic.  Since the menopause, my libido is on a scale of 1 - 10 a big fat zero.  Everything dries up literally.  Its not that i dont love him cos I do, its just the lack of hormones that does it.  I went on HRT for this and my lack of sleep, and my inability to cope with any stress, it cured that, but gave me severe indigestion, lack of appetite etc, SO I only stayed on it a year.  I decided I could cope better with no sleep than having this permanently.  Came off in Dec, Breast Cancer in Feb - a link??? who knows?? My cancer is oestrogen fed so who knows.  I would encourage any friends in the future not to go on HRT. Maybe natural sleeping tablets and a mild sedative would have been a better course to follow.

I have an extremely loving partner of 10 years, he couldnt be better.  He has seen my boob from day one, has helped me dress, has cuddled me when I cry he is fantastic and says he doesnt care what I look like I am the same beautiful woman he met and loves and always will be. - I am very lucky - Val

chascat
Member

Re: Am I allowed to ask about sex?

 

Mel66
Member

Re: Am I allowed to ask about sex?

I guess this is one of those subjective topics.... and it can be a real problem for one side or the other. It's possibly one of those topics that very rarely gets mentioned although it is a big issue in it all.

Personally, while I was going through chemo I felt fat, bald, ugly... and very unsexy (and this was aside from the obvious physical drawbacks... feeling like sh1te, picc line sticking out of arm, scars and surgery...)

Unfortunately it sometimes doesn't get any better.... my partner, 8 months post MX and reconstruction, and 3 months after my last chemo still hasn't seen my news 'foob' (at first it was down to his squeamishness but now it's very much an 'elephant in the room') and the bedroom department is still very much redundant. This now due primarily to his lack of interest rather than mine now... would be interested to hear other peoples experiences. x
SamanthaL
Member

Re: Am I allowed to ask about sex?

I mean, lymph arm, chemo ruined veins arm, sore breasts, gammy nails, numb fingers? But still...
SamanthaL
Member

Am I allowed to ask about sex?

How do people cope?