Every emotion and thought you have is normal, you sound very much like me.
You will get through this because as you say you are usually the one in control, I did everything to help my family get through this,
Which I would never change, but it can bring you down trying to be strong all the time.
You will have 'great' friends and those that still use you for their 'crap'....it's amazing at a time like this we feel the need to turn our backs on these ones.... I know I have, and I have been blessed with friends that I haven't seen for years who have been there for me.
With regards to your waiting, you can't change that, so the control freak in you will struggle with that. You will feel much better when you have a result, and if treatment is needed then you will cope when you have a plan.
Be positive not all lumps are sinister, but whatever happens there is great help out there for you.
Keep us updated of your progress