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Amazed at some people.....

25 REPLIES 25
ForumMember
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Thank you Allison for being so kind. You have been a good friend to me, along with many others, and I won't forget that. We have all got to know each other very well through facebook and Lolly is such an inspiration, and it has been a pleasure getting to know you and her.

Love

Jules xxx

AllyT
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Hi All

Well i have to say i did rise to the thread which was clearly slagging of my friend, i hate bullying in any shape or form and i couldnt just sit here and watch what was going on!!

I do not come here as often as i normally would have....wonder why!!!!!! lol.

Its just a shame this site which is very supportive in many ways can have people who act in an appauling manner..
Well done to you Lolly that comment was brilliant.

Allison xx

ForumMember
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Yes Lolly is an angel, she is one of my best friends on facebook, and we have had many a great chat. She has this amazing sense of humour and has me in stiches. Really looking forward to meeting up with her, once shes finished her chemo.

Shes had a terribly rough time and at such a tender age and with two beautiful little babys, but always has a nice big smile on her face. I don't know sometimes how she manages to remain so positive and cheerful, but somehow she manages. Shes lovely.

Jules. x

moonshine
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Hello Lolly,

I am so sorry someone as young and lovely as you is having to cope with this dreadful disease and all it entails.
Well done for voicing your opinion with such honesty and maturity, you are an example to follow ........
I look forward to being able to meet with you soon,

Take care
with best wishes,
Tracey xx

horace
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

I didnt even realise exactly what the problem was it leaves a nasty taste.I know it has happened before and I dont undersand how any woman[I am assuming a woman]could do this to anyone going through bc and its attendant terrors or indeed watching a loved one go through it.I am glad it has been dealt with.

Julie22
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

No offence girls, and I do appreciate Lolly's sentiments and comments after being off the site for a while and everyone else's, but do you not think starting another thread about the same subject again is not adding fuel to the fire. It would appear to be over with, as you say said person has been banned, so would it not be better to let lie now. I think there has been enough said on the subject!

I agree totally with V (Horace).

Isn't there an old saying about if you keep picking at a sore it will never heal, or something like that ha ha. Memory not fab, blame advancing dementia.

Julie xx

lisaf
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

God all this is awful, I know its hard for people to deal with some comments but people should be on her for and to give support. Glad I havent seen these commnets or the persons sending
them. I tend to stick to a few similar threads and try and offer some support to new threads.

Hope it all gets sorted
x

vertangie
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Jules, that's really gracious of you to rise above it like that. I hope that's the end of it for you.

I raise a glass to you (and one for your mum too.) Sadly it's just lucozade but in my mind it's champers.

Angie

ForumMember
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Your welcome, sadly I was the main target of this person and her friends. She befriended me in a thread and then tried to bait me with her friends. A few members warned me and after that I just ignored her. I won't be drawn into cat fights and knew the site would sort the situation out so thank you again BCC for dealing with it so quickly. I also received a very poisnous private message from them, but the site dealt with it very quickly and deleted it.

Thanks again to all of the lovely friends I have made on here. I am sad that my mum got Cancer, but on the plus side I have made some fantastic friends that I would not have otherwise have made. So thank you girls.

Jules xx

lily0
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Hi,
I read posts regularly,although dont post so often now and have been aware of the posts involved- however there has been so much of it lately that I am confused and intrigued- can someone PLEASE tell me the fake names that were used cos I must be really thick here!
This site has been my saviour and I wish everyone all the best
Katy x

Anita67
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Hi All

I am really shocked to read about this person and her alias and what she was doing on this site. I have moved over to the 'having radio' thread and to be honest have lost track of a few comrades who are still enduring chemo and therefore haven't seen the nasty posts.

I have steered away from 'having chemo' as it is still 'raw' for me as it is only 5 weeks since the last one and I need to try and recover from it.

I do hope that ladies were not put off by what they saw on the posting from the fake user, I for certain wouldn't be as sane as I am if I hadn't used this site.

Well done to the moderators for also spotting this misuse.

I would like to wish ALL users of this site the best and hopefully we can stamp out this misuse before it serously affects genuine users.

Anita

Maximise
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Thanks Jules for drawing that to our attention, I would have missed that post by head of the site. Thank goodness & lets hope that is an end to it now.

Max

ForumMember
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Regarding the user who was using a fake name to cause problems and disrupt the forums. Bertieb the Head of the site has posted a thread regarding this at the top of the Discussions. The person in question and her alias has now been banned, so hopefully things might return to normal. Just thought I would mention the thread incase it was not seen.

Lolly, lovely to see you on here sweetheart, will catch up with you on facebook. I am looking forward to seeing your photos from the shoot.

Jules. x

dawnhc
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Those are good sentiments horace - but unfortunately silence is not always the best policy. The lunatics taking over the assylum? Or to paraphrase words attributed to the Statesman Edmund Burke: In order for ‘evil’ to prevail, all that need happen is for ‘good’ people to do nothing.

dawnhc

horace
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Gently gently ladies.The way to stop it is never to respond to unpleasantness while being aware of peoples insecurities.Lets not be guilty of that which we criticise.I agree with Claire I just worry a bit about some peoples vulnerability making them a bit thoughtless at times and them being villified on all sides by other equally vulnerable people.Love Vx

skimum
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

I too have been shocked at the way some threads have degenerated into bitchiness and bullying.
I don't buy into the idea that support means always agreeing with one another, we can certainly have, and express, differing opinions without it turning into a slanging match.
However I think the bottom line is that just because someone has breast cancer (or any other sort of cancer) it doesn't necessarily make them a nice person or someone we would want as a friend. In life there will always be bullies and unpleasant people who you wouldn't choose to associate with. The trouble with forums is that it might take a little longer to spot them.
I did wonder though, why it took the moderators so long to do something about the threads I'm referring to, I thought that this was part of the moderators role?
Claire

vertangie
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

We've all got to try an remember that everyone dealing with this disease is having a roller coaster of emotions.

Doesn't justify some of the unbelievably childish comments I've just read, I'm not going to quote them or name names, they know who they are. When I first joined this forum I was jumped on a bit for asking for positive stories. I think some of the people who commented could have let me be but didn't choose to, but while I've been doing chemo for the last 3 months I've had some great exchanges with people in the chemo threads so I'm really proud of the majority of people here, really very amazing people.

I'm a programmer, which isn't common for a woman and it's a very male dominated world. A lot of the forums I've been on work wise in the past are much worse than this one for childish behaviour, honestly you wouldn't believe it. We have a name for it... it's called Trolling. ...

"An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial and irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the intention of provoking other users into an emotional response[1] or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.[2]"

Don't feed the trolls is what we say... they just want more.

debbi
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

My thoughts are,if you havnt got anything nice to say,dont say anything at all,some people just take joy in being nasty and rude to people,and yes i have put a couple of things on here in response to others nastiness.

judyw47
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Well said Lolly x

I too have had some rather curt responses on here but also some lovely ones. Have also met a BC superbitch at my local 'support' group. When I saw her cup her hand over her mouth to the lady next to her and say.............'shes got that stupid wig on again' as I went to collect my raffle prize.............I was totally gobsmacked and wont ever return there again. So much for support!

malcolm
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

Hi... like you I am appalled if this goes on.I am new here & have not yet seen this.With regard to new usernames,how can that work with one e mail address.Macmillan web site only permits one for one,isn't that simple enough.Mods. please comment.
This sort of thing used to go on in the days of Citizen Band Radio & that ruined that.

Maximise
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

I am also appalled at what is going on. This is a breast cancer support site and certain people are not taking this seriously. It is very obvious certain people are using new usernames and causing mischief. What they do not realise is that many people find it in very poor taste and very disrespectful. Can understand people wanting some light relief at times, by no means is that disallowed hence chit chat and fun forum !! but to totally take over a thread in the undergoing chemotherapy treatment and for someone to end it with the comments that they are going to puke !! highly distasteful, considering the many women who will be puking for real - due to their treatment.

Guest
Not applicable

Re: Amazed at some people.....

hi
I to do not post on here mainly because a few months ago I posted a not so very nice remark and got an equally bad remark back which I probably deserved.I am sorry that I made the remark and do regret it.I think its just sometimes as in life we all get angry and tired and say things in the moment that we regret and having cancer,chemo,and all that goes with it it is really hard sometimes to hold it all together .I am not trying to make excuses,and I too hate bullies.

love and best wishes Mell

dawnhc
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

hi debbi,

I find it very disturbing when people like yourself (and I think there are many) hold back their support and experience when elements such as we are seeing at present on this site set out to upset and victimise others. A lot of it is very subtle - but it goes on in the pm system as well, and leaves people damaged. Sadly it happens on many forums but hard to understand on one for breast cancer. I think there are probably many others who read for some time before finding the courage to sign up and join in and this sort of thing will put them off ever taking that step. I too have been aware that some are not whom they seem and reappear in other guises. If you read the forums regularly it doesnt take long to spot them. I am just putting in a plea for all who feel as you do - please don't just disappear from the posts here or these forums will degenerate even more.

dawn
xxx

debbi
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

well said,and some people on here are not who they seem to be,personally I dont come on here so much now because there was too much of this going on and it just winds you up and its not a support thing,more like playground antics,but as I left school 20 yrs ago found this all a bit tiresome.i will only really post if i have been through what someone else may be getting ready for and offer my experience,other than that,I stay away,even the moderators dont do what you ask of them,there are sites a better support network out there,as I have found out.

aroma
Member

Re: Amazed at some people.....

HERE HERE ,!!TOTTALLYY AGREE .THIS IS A SUPPORT SITE !!!!! my love and hugs to ALL on here .xxxxxxxxxxx

Lolly2383
Member

Amazed at some people.....

Wow..I haven't posted on here for a while and haven't looked too much either as coping with chemotherapy whilst looking after 2 small kids has proved v hard (don't really get much time to induldge in pathetic nastiness on here either strangely)...Trying to get better is hard enough.

But i had a long read through a few threads last night and to say i'm shocked at some peoples' awful attitudes is an understatement!

Who do some people think they are? What makes them think they have a right to 'gang up' or 'single out' certain people and try to push them out?? I am 25yrs old and wouldn't engage in any of these nasty conversations or even attempt to act in a nasty manner towards people who come on here for support.

Ladies the majority of you here are totally amazing and a real support and i'm glad we've made friends as i feel the support we've given each other at such a hard time in our lives has helped no end..

And the rest of you, well....God i hope you don't have children as the state of this world today is bad enough without any more kids looking up to parents who are clearly bullies themself. What hope do we have?
Grow up..We are all going through this together and should be nothing but a strong support network to whoever wishes to join...
We are all entitled to our own opinion but that's far different from blatently picking on people..How would you like it??

Enough said....

Hope everyone is well otherwise.x.