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Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

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CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

And bumpity bump again. Just bumping for somebody. We're still over in Under Treatment and going strong.

whitewine
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

thanks i would love to join you

kittenkat
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

hi whitewine - come and join us on the storm riders thread in the undergoing treatment section, mary x

whitewine
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

i also live in bury st edmunds and have just been given the bad news
are you going to have your treatment at the west suffolk i have just
had my first chemo it wes not to bad well i hope all goes well chin
up take care

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Bumps a Daisy 😄

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Just a quick note to anybody reading. We've moved over to the Treatment Forum. Look for us at Undergoing Treatment for Breast Cancer. The thread is Storm Riders/A Town Called Determination.

The story continues!

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

lol - I affected the "oooh Everard, shut that door" pose for two or three weeks post op. Keep doing those hexercises.

Yup, lets push on to the next stage. Feeling mighty envious of the ladies who get to skip the *spit* chemo phase but hey, we'll all be done and partying in Normality by Christmas. Man what a party that's going to be!!! 😄

kittenkat
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

now just hang on a gawd damn minute....I've got an arm like Larry Grayson stuck on my hip and I'm saddle sore - but...DETERMINED!!! Found out my cons took all the nodes as he must have been suspicious and one was involved so hope thats good-ish....but I'm on the -spit- chemo list....but I'll be fit in the saddle soon - probably harnessed up to Martina or strapped to me horse but there you go....wah hey!!

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Wowza, what a day it seems to have been!

Casey, fabulous news! How did you manage that one kiddo? Excellent in every way. Whooeeee, you and Sal are going to be kicking your heels at the Border waiting for us to catch up. Actually we will be requiring cover fire on an occasional basis I would think, so don't think you're getting to sit back, chewin' tobaccy, and playing cards. 😄

BlackJack - obviously my psychic emanations made their way to your wardrobe department! That's pretty much exactly how I had you looking. Maybe I should take out a column in the Determination Gazette - Psychic Steel: Your Future Is My Business! 🙂

And do I spy another Storm Rider in the distance there? Bit wobbly on that saddle - whoops, over the side she goes ... and she's up... nope over again.... Ah, it's Kittenkat, aka (insert Storm Rider alter ego). A poncho wearer, that's what we needed! Mummy tomato, Daddy tomato, and Baby Tomato were crossing the road. Baby Tomato is lagging behind. A car comes along, and splats Baby Tomato. Daddy Tomato turns round and says "Ketch Up". Har de har! Point of joke is to get to the words Ketch Up, eg C'mon KittenKat, feet in the stirrups and catch up, we're off to Determination in the Treatment thread! Ok, ok, laugh not, I tried...... :0)

Sal, from how you look in your avatar I think you'll really suit your hair that short! Stick up a new piccy. Says me, who still hasn't taken one yet. I will, I will, I promise.

Ok - I'm going over to Treatment and start a thread called Storm Riders. I'll stick a wee intro to us as the first post. Anybody want to close up shop here and let everybody know they can come join us over there, even if they haven't got to treatment yet?

salopets
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

It's been a busy week - husband's birthday on Tues and then out for a drink with the girls last night. And I've come back to see great news 🙂 Martina, so glad you got good results. That was a tough decision, but I think it's good to feel that you've made the decision and not just had it foisted upon you.

And Casey - fandabidozy!!!!! So glad you finally got your appointment with the onc - what a relief. I'm dancing round the room as I type 😄 Enjoy your steak or whatever.

Gennie, your boss needs a talking to. I'm sending you the link for the EMPLOY charter. Print it out and give it to him (if you haven't done so already). He needs to do some serious reading. He obviously hasn't got a clue!! If he doesn't sort himself out, tell him he's gonna get a visit from the Storm Riders!

I'm happy to see a move to the treatment section (even though I haven't had any yet) BUT, by this time next week I'll have had the lightening strike, so let's do it.

Oh, I nearly forgot. Just come back from the hairdressers and I've had the chop! Couldn't face faffing about with hairdryers/straighteners etc after surgery. I remember what a pain it was after I broke my shoulder and then also after shoulder surgery. I spent months looking a mess. So, its now about 2" long. Everyone's going to have a shock tomorrow. The people I work with now have never seen it that short, although people who've known me longer have. It'll be funny to see their faces.

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Whoop whoop!!! At last some action!! And no chemo to boot you lucky duck. You'll be way out the other side of Determination Casey while the rest of us are still bogged down in shootouts! Look at the girl go!!!! 😄 😄

jjane123
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Sounds like you were thrown streight back in at the deep end Gen. So like you have said, your boss is probably in for a rude awakening. Especially as there are regulations regarding your return to work, so he can only put you under as much pressure, as you allow him too. Answer to your question....corrine bailey rae, put your records on.

Anyway! at 08.30 this morning, the phone rang, it was my bc nurse and guess what..................I GOT TO SEE ONC AT 10.AM........he had a free appointment.

Finally I have a plan of action. He said my prognosies was excellent 90 plus%. No chemo!!! as this will only give me another 2% and he did not think for the small percentage it was worth the side effects. Rads to begin in about three weeks and start taking tamoxifen today. So all in all I am feeling 100% better about fighting this thing. Whoop!!! Whoop!!!! Now feel like I'm actually doing something to prevent a reacurance.

Off out now to the local carvery. No booze, still on happy pills but hey.... got my foot back in the stirup and ready to ride my horse high back towards determination.

Take care xx

ardmhuire
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

dont worry kittenkat i will have a word with your horse. he will carry you safely to your destination. you just stick close to me.
martina

kittenkat
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

I'm coming too....with my poncho, but I need a very laid back horse as I'm a tad nervous with geegees - bad experience when I was about 12...mary x

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

I'm glad you've made your decision Martina. It can't have been an easy one, but I reckon you give yourself the absolutely best chance by giving it your absolute all even if some of it is going to be tough going.

So you know Penkridge Jane? I lived there from the age of 6 to 18, went to school there etc and my parents were there (well, parents and then my mum afer dad died) until 5 years ago. It was quite a small village when I was growing up but has grown enormously over the years. It's a nice place I have lots of happy memories of it, although I haven't been back since I moved away from the area over 6 years ago.

My first day back at work was weird. Almost as if I'd never been away as I was instantly plunged back into meetings and problems. My boss was giving me a huge list of new work he wants me to pick up in addition to my own usual workload over the next few months.... He wants me to schedule meetings with clients for March and I'm just not prepared to commit myself to much beyond tomorrow at the moment.

I don't know, he seems to think I'll maybe just be gone a couple of hours a month for the chemo or something and then back at my desk. I do intend to keep working, but not at the expense of my health. I'll only do as much as I feel capable of. He may be in for a rude awakening!

I also did half an hour overtime and ended up running to my car parked across town to make sure I was home in time for the children returning from school. Made it with 2 minutes to spare!

What song has the lyrics "The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same......"? ;o)

ardmhuire
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

hi amigoes

dont leave without me. as for clothes i aint too savvy with "fashion". but i reckon seein as my name is BlackJack i gotta be wearin mostly black. my hat is black with silver cord and a little question mark charm hanging down under my chin. my coat is a long black trench coat with pockets that can hold enough choc for everyone......i wear my collar turned up and my hat tipped forward.

i wear half chaps thats the ones that go up to below you knew and cover top of my boots. my boots are pointy and have a silver band around the ankle, i dont were spurs cos me and my horse have a real connection and he knows what i want to want or need him to do without any actions from me.
my shirt is white but it is embroidered with black thread. i have a silver waistcoat with a fob watch that doesnt tell time it only tells day and date as time is of no consequence to me.
my belt surprise surprise is also black with a silver buckle.
do we wear guns?

anyway thats the best i can do if you have any suggestions or improvements let me know.

btw i have decided after discussions with family to have chemo. so see you there.

BlackJack

jjane123
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

hi Moocow, like Carole and Gen say, talk away. We are here most of the time and yes your right, it can be a lonely road sometimes. This web site is a life line and hopefully we can all help each other through to the other side of determination.

Carole, dont mind where we post. I will just follow when the move takes place.

Not sure what I would do Martina, think I would go with the chemo. Like someone said its a short year for a long life.

Gen, how was yiour first day back at work? I've just seen somewhere you lived in Penkridge sometime ago. I know a Stimpy in Penkridge its a lovely place. Haven't been for a while I must get over there and visit.

Sal, make sure your wrapped up for work tomorrow the snows coming in again. You need to look after yourself now and keep your strength up for next week. It will be over before you know it and I think we will all look back and see the surgery as the easiest part of this fight.

Spoke to bc nurse about seing onc at another hosp and she said its not poss because he only does nhs at mine and private the rest of the time. She did however say, that she would ring me Thur evening or Fri morning, to let me know for sure when my appointment will be.

Well brew time. Catch you all later.

xx

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Hi Moocow
As Gen says, talk away. We're going to move over to Treatment in a wee while, but just follow us over there. We'll check back on this thread too though just in case. It's a tough time, but you're a woman, you can do tough. Are you on chemo now?

Hey Riviera, I hadn't noticed that about the forums. Wonder if they planned it that way. Is there one at the end where we have to paint our bottoms blue and shout FREEEEEDOMMMMM as we run charging from our all clear scan appointments! 😄

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Sounds like a plan Steel. Are we all ready to mosey on forward a little? Hey, it's further down the list of forums - heading in the right direction!!

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Hi Moocow

Sorry we meet in such unhappy circumstances, you'll find this site a great source of support. It's held me together for the last 7 weeks since I was diagnosed - just being able to talk to people going through the same thing is a huge help. Keep talking - we're all here to listen and share.

Gennie xx

moocow
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

I have just read your story I had a left masectomy last sept and would love to talk to someone as it can be quite a lonely time

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Just popping in early.

Thought it might be time to move over to Treatment? What say I open a thread under Undergoing Treatment. Call it Storm Riders or Determination just for ease of finding it - or anything else you want. We can leave a message here for everybody, and pick up over there. What do you all think?

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

I would if they weren't already lying there with their paws over their noses! Kind of takes the wind out the sails....

Right, off to bed. Night night.

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Just blame the dogs. That's what I do ;o)

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

LOL. Brother Lee Love! I remember. Actually, that's a pretty good way of looking at it. The few really drugged days are totally surreal! Had another brief moment this afternoon, but I think it's well on it's way out of my system now. Although, sssshhhh don't tell anybody, but I think I may have discovered some whoopee cushion genes I didn't know I had, if you get my drift, or rather I hope you don't! This too shall pass as you so accurately put it! 😄

Sal, great that the op's coming up at last. Let's get the show on the road and get this b@@ger out of you!

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Carole - first {{hugs}} that your week has been such cr@p. You've hidden it well. And secondly THANK YOU for telling it like it is. As you know I'm treading this path very soon and a bit of honesty is extremely welcome. When I start imagining I'm Brother Lee Love in roughly 3 weeks time(remember Kenny Everett - enormous hands?!) I'll remember that this too shall pass. 😄

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Hi Martina

Great results, that's the first thing to focus on. I can only tell you what I would do really, and I'd do the chemo. It's definitely not fun, and it kicks the wind out of you big time, but I'd do it on two counts. One I have a better survival chance, two if I was going to turn out to be HER2 positive then I'd need it anyway. As you know, I'm only one week into the chemo on E-CMF. Here's what I wish somebody had told me plainly before I started, not just talked about side effects and told me it affects us all differently.

"You are going to think you're ok for the first day or two, then it's going to hit you with a fatigue you can't describe. You're going to feel like you're in somebody else's body, looking out of somebody else's eyes. You're going to get emotional and depressed and think there's no way you can do this for however many months, and that you want somebody to take the whole awfulness away. Then on Day 6 you will, by some miracle, start to feel like yourself again and all the bad stuff of the last few days will drop away from you quickly. And then you will know for a fact that it really is just a temporary bad few days, that the emotion and depression is just the chemo talking, not you, that you will cope, and now you know what to adjust for that week to make it easier the next time."

PM me any time if you want more of a chat about it. With you all the way kiddo.

Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Hi Martina,

I'm sure you'll get lots of support from the many informed users of this site, but if you need to talk to someone in confidence then please do phone the helpline and have a chat with one of the nurses here, it may help you in making that decision. Calls to the helpline are free, 0808 800 6000, lines open Mon to Fri 9am - 5pm and Sat 9am - 2pm.

Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

I replied on your other thread Martina. Those are great results and great odds, you must be so relieved.

ardmhuire
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

i need some opinions.

its quite complicated so i hope you can understand it. seen consultant today. heres what he told me,
lump was small -lymph nodes not infected - hasnt got into blood vessels - ER negative. no results for HER.

then seen oncologist. so right now i have 89% of being alive in 10 years. if i have chemo that increases by 3%. if the chemo offered 5% they would say have the chemo - if the chemo offered 2% they would say dont bother but cos its offering me 3% they say the decision is mine. just to complicate things even more. if the HER comes back positive i would need to have chemo before i could take that drug that all the fuss was about. so they say i need to decide in the next two weeks and not to wait on the HER results. the chemo would take 18 weeks give or take and they are not pushing me one way or another but they do want to get started as soon as possible if i want to. i am just lost, have no idea what to do. please anyone tell me what you think. it would be great to hear the opinion of someone who actually understands what this is like.
thankyou in advance
martina

salopets
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Very chic, Steel. I know what you mean about trying to keep up with other people - mind boggling. It's surgery for me next Thursday (12th). At last - I seem to have been waiting for ever. Actually it will be exactly two months after my diagnosis. I feel strangely calm about it really - odd. I'm sure that will change nearer the time though. Apparently, before surgery I have to get hooked up to the mammo machine yet again for a wire to be placed in my boob, to guide the surgeon. We're getting to be the best of friends, that equipment and me, this will be the fourth time we'll have been intimate since November:)

Casey, I'm not Aries. Cancer actually (quite apt, in the circumstances, don't you think?). I think it was my inner mother hen coming out yesterday. I feel so refreshed since our break last week, I'm coming over all maternal about you all. Don't like to think of you all out there struggling, while I'm feeling good. That might change tomorrow though when I'm freezing my butt off at work:( Still, only five more working days until D Day. Hope you gave them hell today about your onc appointment.

Riviera, good news on the scan. Are you glowing in the dark? Or has the radiation worn off? At this rate, we'll soon be creating our own version of the northern lights 😄

See you all round the camp fire. (and I've no idea what grits are, but they do sound disgusting, whatever they are)

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Flood, then locusts next I think, which will make your spa break interesting and perhaps crunchy.

Am definitely going to settle down with those grits and beans. Sounds good. Em, what are grits anyway? Anything like grape nuts? What say we clear a bit of snow out from the tree, and set ourselves up round the camp fire. Thick blankets over the shoulders, passing round the liquor bottle, and recounting tales of our beginnings. The horses will be more sensible and stay under the tree, but they don't have thumbs with which to wield snow shovels, so fair's fair.

The scan definitely sounded more House than mine Riviera. Am I getting done on the cheap here I wonder? You'll be back at work for about 3 weeks yes? Are you going to try working through or just sign out once the chemo starts? I would definitely suggest signing off for the first round at least. I can't believe how tired and down right off planet I was the last 3 days. Picking up to normal now though, Day 6. My GP called in today, which was kind of her, and gave me a sick note for the first 12 weeks. Not sure what I do with it though. Pass it from my right hand to my left hand and ask me for time off and sick pay? 🙂 It'll be a nice memento I'm sure.

Don't let the reactions get to you too much Casey. It's strange, and it is hurtful, but in the end they're just scared. We've got to just shrug and keep smiling. That relaxation thing sounds groovy. The nurse said something about it to me, but I wasn't really listening. I might check it out again. Anybody else thinking about it? Actually, I'm starting to lose track of where everybody's at. Quick recap. Gen I know, chemo this month. Sal, you're waiting for treatment results and dates still, but it looks like rad? And you're the same Jane, yes? Think I'll start a notebook. A few months on and you'll be tying me to a cactus with exasperation.

BlackJack, how you doing? You've gone quiet over there. You okay?

Oh, my avatar is actually not me, just in case you were wondering. Although I would love to have creamy skin and red lips. It is my hat though. Tried to get a picture of me in the hat but it kept coming out all dark. I'll try again in the daylight tomorrow.

jjane123
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Its official then.... Snow everywhere.... about 3inches here in Manchester, so not too bad and we haven't quite come to a stand still.

Its a shame about your spa day Mule, you can't beat a bit of mother daughter therapy... Are you an Aries Mule? just curious because I believe they can be bossey. Not that i'm complaining. I have the perfect excuse now to do absoloutly nothing at home and if anyone complains...Well i'll just tell them Mules orders.

On the onc front, I have been to see my gp (again) tonight and she said I should get in touch with the hosp liason officer and wasn't impressed by the wait ahead for me. I am also going to ring bc nurse tomorrow and metion that I dont mind going to another hosp, to see the onc, if he is only at my hosp on a Thurs. Like you have said I am just going to have to become a nuisance and see where that gets me.

Thats really good news about your heart scan, Riviera. Another thing less to worry about. Isn't it great, to be able to tick some worries off the list. Makes it just that little bit easier. Are you looking forward to going back to work? Am still pondering about it because I could just end up sat in the mess room, watching tv all day and that would be worse than being at home. I did callin one day last week with my sick note and it was all a bit surreal. Some of the guys that would normally have said hi, looked away. Most likely not knowing what to say but that didn't stop it hurting and others wanted to know everything and I found that hard to because as you can imagine, the majority of my work mates are male. Let us know how you go on. Mule are you back at work this week? I bet its freezing.

Steel, listen to Mule and rest up a while. Take some time out for yourself and we'll catch upwith the gunslinging in a while.

I have an appointment at a breakthrough center on Fri. Its an assesment to see if I am eligable ( tuts spelling) for eight weeks of relaxation therapy. Apparantly you go once a week for 5hrs and it includes complementary therapies i,e reflexology, reiki and aromatherapy. Topic and information sessions. One to one appointment with a therapist to talk about issues with your particular dx and a session to teach you relaxation and visualisation techniques. So fingers crossed all will go well and they willtake me on. Sounds really good to me and something we all could do with, so start badgering your bc nurses girls. Thats who put me in touch with the group.

Take care girls

xx

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Oooh now we see her true colours!! 😄 😄

You boss away Mule, I know we're all guilty of trying to do too much too soon because, being the stubborn and determined crew we are, we sure as heck aren't going to let this impinge on our lives any more than it has to! And sometimes we get a bit carried away trying to run before we can walk.

Loads of snow here today too. Kids school closed (along with every other school in the area) so I had to palm them off on a (very) good friend of mine for 3 hours this morning and fight my way in to hospital.

After a bit of a hiccup trying to find a vein to inject into (two extensive and painful jabbings around in different places and he decided he had a dodgy needle and the third try with a new needle was ok first go) I was sent off for 45 minutes to the hospital caff. A bacon bap, Ok magazine and decaff coffee later I went back and had the second jab, which also went in first time thankfully. Slightly alarming moment when I stood up and the geiger counter on the wall went off because I was now radioactive!

Then I went a lay on a very narrow bench (my arms were pinned to my sides by a big strap because it was only wide enough for the body) had 3 electrodes attached (didn't even have to undress, they were just under my clothes) and the machine moved along towards me overhead in the manner of a car wash. It was just a big square thing that was initially over my head then moved to my left side. Not noisy at all. 20 minutes of pan pipe music versions of contemporary hits (oh joy, I can't stand pan pipe music) and we were done.

The upshot is my heart is currently in good shape (unofficially, obviously the mere mortal who did the scan can only say so with that caveat!). A normal heart should pump at least 50% of the blood that comes into it out again through the left ventricle on each beat. Mine is doing 68%, so we have some leeway for chemo to reduce that a bit and still stay in normal limits. I hope!!

More wound checking tomorrow, postponed from today due to weather, but I think we're finally getting there. Back to work on Wednesday now, hopefully.

You take it steady now Steel. Get yourself through this pesky skirmish and then REST ready for the next. No prizes for rushing in this game. I hope today has been kinder to you.

Let's all just have ourselves a good meal and a drink or two for those of us who want it and settle back for a strength-restoring snooze.

salopets
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Steel, is that metaphorical snow you're talking about? 'Cos we had about 8" of the real stuff here when we woke up this morning. I was supposed to be going for a bit more pampering at a spa with my daughter and my son's girlfriend (I'm not really loaded - we got a good deal). However, as it's an hour away we decided it wasn't sensible, as half the roads in the county were shut. Now that's the second venue we've tried - the first one was closed because they had a fire! What'll it be next time? Flood?

Now you lot need to take a bit of advice from Mule here. Now's the time for taking it easy and restin' up a while. So I want y'all to dismount and lean back on a rock, with your hats over your faces. I'll fix us up some grits and beans and a slug of the strong stuff. We can just watch the world go by for a while. I know you all want to get back to Normality as quickly as possible, but you won't do that by doing too much. Remember the hare and the tortoise! I'm as guilty as anyone of generally pushing too hard and doing too much, but even when you're fit and training, you need your rest days. Now you need your rest days even more. Sorry, got carried away there. Lecture over 🙂

Riviera, I forgot all about your scan. It was today, wasn't it? Hope it went ok.

Casey, I think you should keep on at the hospital about your appointment with the onc. I haven't really had any problems with the breast clinic, but I had dealings with the orthopeadic dept for two and a half years and I know how easy it is for you to slip through the cracks. I know you probably don't feel like it, but the only way is to be a pain in the @rse. You soon get things done if you make a nuisance of yourself. Better still, write. When it's down in black and white they can't ignore you!

Don't know what's come over me today - I've gone all schoolmaamish (I don't think that's a real word, but you know what I mean). I don't mean to boss you all around, but I'm rested and spoiling for the fight. And I've got another ten days to go....... Be patient 😞

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Hey Storm Riders! If I start sounding like I swallowed the gobbledigook dictionary, please forgive. I am wallowing through a waist high snow drift, thinking "For the love of the prickly pear, where's that dangnabbit town edge, I need to get my boots off and lie down!" Came up with a doozy of a side effect today - hallucinations! As if, lol! But nearly. Got light headed, detached feeling, looked at my hands and thought - Aaaargh, they're not mine! Phoned the nurses who patted me on the head down the phone line and said "Sit down, you're doing too much, you silly billy, drink lots to flush the toxins, and stop moving around." Well, that kind of made sense, so I did, and I feel a bit better. Have now progessed to hot flushes in the face. I know it can bring on the menopause, but 5 days in! Come on....... No Fair!

Hokay, enough whinging. Casey. Jump up behind me on the saddle for a bit and rest up. The other's will lead your horse in for you. We're hitting Determination together just as soon as I can get myself out of this darn snow drift and back on my horse. Where's my hat, oh, there it is. Mule, give us a pull will ya?

Already had you in casuals Casey. Here you are: Denim pants, bought new in the last town, already dusty and looking good. Off white soft cotton shirt with 3 button front. Red bandana loosely tied round the neck. Dark brown leather waistcoat, usually with a pack of cards in one pocket. Fawn coloured priarie coat with storm flaps, slightly longer than the rest. Always wears sturdy shoes. Mule has the bruises to show for the time she swapped her shoes for boots. Tan belt and holsters, black guns. Light brown hat with braided leather trim round the crown. Very simple, understated. Personality as big as a steam engine. Extremely sociable, always sees the bright side, can crack a joke while cracking a jaw! Can drink anybody under the table, which usually helps when indulging in her other favourite past-time, poker. Can drive an engine and is a mechanical genius. Loves kittens. Wonders why Steel has to look so moody all the time, and where exactly does BlackJack keep her Ace?

Gotcha on the hoops Riviera. We'll go for tendrils of hair instead.

Ditto on the black Mule, liking the dragon buckle, and you can have as many fringes as you like. Tousled hair, brown gloves.

Perhaps there can be a train sitting at Determination that doesn't work, the bad rancher's holding the coal. Then in some future scene we nab some coal, Casey gets it working again and rams through some bad guy blockage on the track that's been standing in her way?

BlackJack next for a costume fitting. Catch up with you tomorrow BlackJack. Steel is slinking away to an early bed again.

salopets
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Carole, you've been busy. Now, about my outfit... Pretty good - how did you know I'm a casual kinda guy? Definitely jeans and don't forget the dragon on my belt buckle. I'm afraid black is out - I hate it, so it'll have to be brown/tan. Short hair and gloves - I've gotta have gloves ... and fringes on my jacket please.

Casey, good to see you back, but sorry you're having such a tough time. I can't believe they are keeping you waiting so long. Don't they know that the waiting messes us up, big time? The only good thing I can think of is that if it were bad news, they'd have had you in pronto, in order to start your treatment as soon as possible. So maybe no news is good news - hold that thought. Are you back at work yet?

Just thought we could explain away Casey's lack of a train by saying that the Sheriff had taken away her licence or shovel or something, or that we've run out of coal. Her train is in a siding in Normality, waiting for her return.

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

LMAO I love my alter ego. I don't mind what hat she wears (I don't do hoop ear rings though, but otherwise........ poifect!).

Sorry to hear you are having such a wait to see the oncologist Casey, keep going steady along those rails and you'll get there. It's got to be a good sign that they aren't rushing you in there for immediate treatment.

The lipomodelling sounds interesting. Unlike Sal, I have plenty of blubber on my belly to make use of - I always wanted to be one of those gorgeous toned women, but even at my slimmest and fittest I'm always nicely padded. I don't have skinny genes. Or skinny jeans, for that matter, with my thighs. 😄

The only thing with reconstruction is I'm not sure if I want to interfere with the area again, iyswim? There was something nasty in there, it's been removed, I think I'd probably rather leave well alone now and not risk aggravating it. I don't know - it ain't pretty, so I'll probably change that opinion several times.

Your heart scan sounds different to the joys I've got coming to me Carole. Mine definitely involves 2 injections half an hour apart and then a 30 minute scan. Not looking forward to it. Interesting how differently hospitals do things isn't it?

Well, snow is forecast for today. No sign of it yet, it's actually quite a nice day, so I think I'll put my feet up and enjoy the view for a day before I move forward a little closer to the fight tomorrow.

jjane123
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

whoops!!! Nearly forgot

On the outfit front, your going to have to put me in casual wear Steel. Since am a jeans n t.shirt kinda girl and no boots. Walking shoes for me, I like to go at an easy pace.

jjane123
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Well, just put a bucket of coal on the fire and slowly trying to chug my way back to determination and although struggling, deep in the back of my my mind, know I will make it there soon. Just keep hitting so many brocken rails. Spoke to bc nurse on fri about onc appointment and was informed that, there has been a delay in admin and since he is only at my hosp on a Thur, my referal will not even be recieved by him untill then. So goodness knows how long I am going to have to wait to see him. I just feel so frustrated, like I have been left in the shunters yard.

Anyway enough of me...... So good to see you back Mule. Sounds like you had a wonderful time in Cornwall and loving the fact that you and Steel have joined forces to write our story. I've been keeping on top of it, through smoke signals from the shunters yard and it certainly pulls at my heart strings and has helped me to gather that shuvel of coal to gety back on track.

Riviera, happy to hear your wounds are finally starting to heal physically and as Mule says once you get through this battle and your on the other side, lipmodelling may be able to heal your mind. I haven't really looked at mine too closely. Just brief glances but there doesn't seem to much damage. Just slightly smaller than the other and blue!!!

As for you steel, its reasuring to hear about your battle and the fact that there are not too many wounds along the way, just the expected tiredness from the fight. I've been keeping a close eye on your smoke signals and feel so proud of you holding your head high and marching on ahead to battle the storm and report back to the rest of this posse.

Take care all
Cassey
xx

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Just suggestions all! Feel free to alter your ego! 😄

Mule: Grey pants, possibly denim, straight cut, dark brown belt. Belt's wide and tooled. Simple cotton shirt, pale blue, sleeveless jerkin over it, light brown deerskin, fitted. Carries a watch or something in the pocket that means something. Dark brown riding coat, deep pockets. Boots look to have been black, now well worn in, heels down, fading to grey. Steel spurs, black metal toe piece at the end. Wears side guns and has one under the left trouser leg. Hat black leather worn in like the boots. Rust coloured bandana round the neck. How are we seeing the hair? An excellent negotiator, until she thinks you won't give her what she wants. Has been known to be sat on and gagged when delicate negotiations are in order. Extremely fit, extremely hard hand to hand fighter. Picked up some martial arts along the way. Never gives up.

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Last bit!

Riviera: Dressed in black leather trousers, boot cut with silver embroidered inserts. Black silk shirt with silver ribbon on the breast pocket, subtle silver work on the collar, silver buttons. Very tailored shirt. Black boots, obviously imports, silver toe and heel caps, silver spurs. Black gloves also silver worked at the cuffs. Black belt, silver buckle, black holsters, dark grey guns, silver work on the handles. Black head scarf tied a la Zorro, and black hat (do you want a Zorro type or more westerny?). I'm seeing perhaps a tendril of hair coming out from the scarf at the front, and silver hoop earrings. Perhaps a silver pendant? The coat is tailored, not your average priarie coat. Smooth fabric with a sheen and in the sunlight looks like silver - that's the silver thread sewn through it. The others suspect her underwear is silk and probably European. Carries herself with extreme panache. Dust never seems to stick to this gunslinger. She's never short of money although nobody can work out where she gets it, but she is very good at cutting deals for things. Can out dance, out manoeuver anybody. Never drinks beer, always Martinis, always has to tell the bartender how to make it. Will settle for champagne. Has a total weakness for children, even though they leave sticky marks on her shirt. Secretly covets BlackJack's coat.

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Gen, what do you think about the lipomodeling Sal's talking about? It could still smooth out a bit. You're still healing after all. I think mine's settled into it's final shape at last, and that's without the trouble you've had, but I'd say it's only just settled in the last week. It seemed to keep shrinking in on itself. My nipple is pulled up and kind of falls in a bit at the top, and the boob has a sort of folded look in the upper right quarter. That definitely is not as bad now as it was two weeks ago. And I'm also still blue! I'm definitely lighter on this side now. Like you say, it doesn't show in a bra, but it shows without one, and I understand what you mean about thinking it wouldn't matter, but then it does. Nought as strange as women! 😄

OK E-CMF notes now for anybody wanting to follow the progress. Day 3 yesterday and was absolutely whacked, hence I wasn't here. Still no sickness but a very fuzzy head, and weird tiredness that sleep doesn't sort out. No appetite, acid reflux, felt emotional, didn't sleep well. I was ok to drive to the heart scan mid afternoon, but no way would I have driven in the morning. Had to postpone the wig thing to Monday. Woke up this morning Day 4, feeling lousy, but am now picking up at great speed. Haven't stopped eating all day! As I have Steel pictured hard and lanky I'd better quit scoffing the chocolate cake! Still got a dry mouth and throat with resultant small cough, but that's passing too. So far, E isn't too bad, but I think there'll be a pattern of tiredness from Day 1 to 4 that needs considered.

Heart scan was easy. No needles, Gen. In and out in 10 minutes. They just put the ultrasound over the three heart valve bits to make sure it's all tickety boo. Nurse didn't see anything unusual, but as always it has to go back to my Onc for him to see.

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Loving the avatars! Oh pooh, now I'm going to have to find one and stick it up. Although in a cunning plan to avoid said embarrassment, particularly as you all look so gorgeous, I thought I might try sketching up the gunslingers and using that. I'm even worse at drawing than I am at writing, but it's not like we don't have some time in Determination for me to have a go! Thought I'd start with Riviera 'cos I've got a good idea from your Cat image how that one would go.

Hey Mule, good to see ya back! Your week sounds dreamy, and you sound so much the better for it, not to mention your surge in creative writing talent! You beat me to it with the blizzard bit. I was out walking the dogs trying to work out a plot this morning. I'd thought of a hard mountain pass with snow to the east of Determination. So we've got the desert behind us where you brought us through with the lightening strikes in the storm, treacherous mountain pass to the east blocking our way that way, canyon (or Oblivion - or could we call it Oblivion Canyon?) to the west, and the border about 20 miles ahead of Determination. Now, why is Determination there at all? I reckoned that this is a wee haven between the desert, mountains, canyon and border. River runs through it, and a good rancher decided to set up Determination to help folks heading for the border. They struggle through the desert, storms, blizzards, and head into town to rest up and get provisions (treatment in other words) before heading across the border to new land and new opportunities. He brought building materials, food and such across the border, even installing a stretch of railroad with the hope of one day building it across the desert to make it easier [this is so we can get Casey in an engine later on somewhere :)]. The townsfolk are good and help anybody coming through, the sheriff's a decent sort, but then. DOOM! The rancher dies, and his bad @ss son inherits everything. All he can see is a way to squeeze money out of everybody and control this area. He raises rent on the townsfolk that rented from his Pa, he sends his gang into town demanding protection payments, he puts a sluice in the river so he can turn off the water, he stops anybody crossing the border unless they can pay abominable amounts and basically cross destitute, and he stops all provisions coming in from across the border unless they go through him. He knows nobody has the means or strength to go back through the desert, the canyon (Oblivion) is a no hoper, the mountain pass is only open for the toughest. Anybody that comes through the pass or across the desert is stuck in Determination under his rule. The sheriff is doing his best to keep the town in order, stop the worst of it, but it's a struggle. Then into town come the gunslingers. Two at first fighting down through the blizzard, more to follow. Why would they stay? They're Storm Riders, they're tough, they could try the last stretch of the mountain pass. But that's exactly it, they are Storm Riders. They don't avoid a fight. They need the rest and provisions that Determination can give them, and they want to show everybody else that this rancher can't stop anybody getting through Determination. They meet with the sheriff again who met them out on the ridge. They chow down on another couple of bowls of Reddy Brek, shake hands, and know that together they'll roust this gang and free the way to the Border.

CaroleD
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Hi Angela

Just ask the questions here as you think them up. Your BC nurse is the best first stop, but if you're having trouble getting in touch, pull up a chair here and we'll see if we can answer anything from our own experiences. Like Gen says, you won't know what kind till they do the surgery and lab test it, and so you won't know what other treatment you need till then either. This waiting part is the hardest and gets us all. You're not alone, we're all here to lean on.

Carole

salopets
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Oops, I forgot to explain the metaphors in my creative rush to get words on the thread:-0 I'm sure you'll work it out, being such a bright bunch, but Normality is life before bc, the lightening strike is surgery and the blizzard is chemo.

Gennie, you could think of lipomodelling for your boob. It's where they suck out some of the (very small amount, I'm sure) excess fat you have somewhere else and inject it into the boob, to make up for what you've lost. That's for sometime in the future no doubt, but it's a thought to keep in your mind for when you're feeling maimed. I'm so glad it appears to be starting to heal, just hang in there, we'll be out the other side and back to our "otherwise perfect" selves in no time. By the way, I love the moody photo. Tres Hollywood!

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Oooh that's gooood! I like it.

I really must have more creative thoughts when I lie wakeful in my bed. Last night when I couldn't sleep I ended up watching Seinfeld, always one for the frivolous, me! 😄

Cleaned up my eternal wound today and it's looking like it might start to heal now. However, my boob is a state now all the swelling has gone. All the tissue they moved into the hole has gone back to its original location and I'm left with a large puckered and dented area. My nipple has been partly pulled in by the scar tissue and is no longer erectile. It was my good nipple too! The look on Jez's face said it all really and he said "you wouldn't want that to happen to you when you were 20".

You can't tell when I'm dressed, but take the bra off and I'm maimed. I didn't think I'd care, but actually I kind of do. I know it's the least of my worries, but just for today, looking in the mirror at it, I was sort of hit again by the enormity of it all. This changes us for life, in so many ways.

Sorry, got all serious there for a minute. It's a lovely day out, I think I'll drag the dog out for a walk and blow those cobwebs away.

salopets
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Lol. Good to hear you're on form Riviera.

Well, I obviously slept too well when I was away, because I couldn't get to sleep last night. Mainly because I had the next chapter of the story going round and round in my head. So here it is. Hope you don't mind me butting in Steel.

The Storm Riders waited there, high on the ridge, looking anxiously at the gathering storm. Each of them remembered the time, late last year, when they were unexpectedly called to the Sheriff’s office. They had been living happily in the town of Normality, which, although full of life’s trials and tribulations, was a good place to be. The Sheriff and his deputies sat each of them down, one by one, and laid the cards on the table – their lives in Normality were over, for the time being at least. They had a long road ahead of them, full of traps and pitfalls, but the choice was stark. They had to take the road to a town called Determination, riding through the Storm as they went. The alternative, they were told, was not one to contemplate. The other road went downhill all the way – to a town called Oblivion. The Sheriff told them that he and his deputies would be shadowing them all the way, able to supply them with weapons and ammunition, but the fight was theirs alone and it would be a hard one.

They each left the Sheriff’s office feeling terrified and alone, fearing the battle ahead. They soon found each other though, all four of them wandering the streets in a state of shock. They quickly realised that they could get through this together; that they had strength in numbers; that they would help each other up when they stumbled and share a joke or two around the camp fire when the going was easier. They had each been called; and thrown together by a roll of the dice. Their resolve was clear: the road to Determination would be theirs. They would fight the Storm with strength and resolve; and once again circle round to the town of Normality.

Three of them, Steel, Riviera and Casey, bore the scars on their chests from the lightening strike that was the first physical part of the battle ahead. The lightening had struck quickly and was a body blow to each of them, but it was a cleansing strike they knew; and they were glad of it now. Mule had had to wait for the lightening and the wait had been agonising. She had been sent to wander in a maze full of trials and tests, only able to hear the distant sounds of encouragement from the others who were on the other side of the maze. The wait was thankfully now over and she sat on her horse, waiting with trepidation for the searing, healing pain of the lightening.

Each of them looked at each other, knowing that they not only faced the Storm, but their own, inner demons. They nodded and, without speaking, (for they knew each other’s thoughts by now) moved off. Casey and Mule had been told by the Sheriff that they could take the higher road, for the time being at least, avoiding the blizzard in the valley below. Steel and Riviera, however, had to face the icy blast of the snow. Steel was the first into the blizzard, her hat pulled down low and her ‘kerchief tied around her face. As she hit the edge of the snow, she realised it was not as deep and she had thought, although she knew the going would get tougher as she advanced. She beckoned to Riviera, who was following her lead, and with a gentle prod of her spurs her horse plunged downwards towards the melee below.

Gennie
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

She's back!!! We've missed you Mule!

Glad you had a wonderful time, I've VERY envious I must say. It's nice to get away from it all this time of year anyway, but under current circumstances it sounds just about perfect.

I went for a spa day last week and they were very iffy about doing any treatments for me when I told them I had BC, until I said my consultant said it would be fine to have anything I felt comfortable to have. I couldn't have a massage because lying on my front would have been too uncomfortable, but I had a lovely facial/head massage.

Re the porta caff - maybe I misunderstood the procedure I'm having in a couple of weeks and they are actually setting me up in a van selling bacon butties and mugs of tea outside the hospital car park......Is that standard NHS protocol now - make you earn your treatment....?! I wouldn't put it past them 😄

salopets
Member

Re: Another newly devastated of Bury St Edmunds

Howdy folks. I take myself off to a li'l 'ol watering hole called Escape an' I come back and what do I find? Y'all look as though you've had a pesky makeover, an' I couldn't find my way around! That is just so typical -I've lost count of the number of times I've taken holiday from work and come back to find the system has changed.

Cornwall was great, just what we both needed - good hotel, good food, good drink, great (if strenuous) cliff walks, sauna, steam room, jacuzzi overlooking the sea, and a massage thrown in for good measure. I had to convince them on the massage front, as they told me that cancer was a contra indication for massage - apparently it stimulates the lymph system, blah de blah.... don't want to make things worse, blah de blah. (Elf 'n safety nonsense if you ask me) Told them I'd been told by my medical team that there was nothing I should avoid; they knew I was coming to a spa; small tumour; very early cancer, etc, etc. Anyway, I did the ol' Mule bit and dug my heels in and ended up having a full body massage, which was fab. A change of scenery was just what I needed, hardly thought about bc at all for five days.

Storm Riders sounds good to me Carole - just love the picture you painted for us all! I'm glad your chemo went well and I hope your scan was ok. On the way back today I heard the old Sparks record on the radio - you know the one "This town ain't big enough for the both of us". Made me smile. This town certainly ain't big enough for this posse and bc! And I know which one of us is gonna be run out of town!

Great news Blackjack. And a photo as well, I'm impressed 🙂

Gen, couldn't work out at first why you were talking about a porta caff. Isn't that something where you buy dodgy burgers in a layby? Anyway, I think I understand now. Doh. I can't believe you're still having trouble with your boob. You've had really bad luck, but it sounds as though they are on top of things now, gladly.

Angela, we all understand the shock you are feeling right now. We've all been there. You really should talk to your bc nurse. If you don't have enough credit on your phone, maybe you could ring her and ask her to call you back. You really should know what they are doing and why they are doing it before your surgery. I'm also getting copies of letters that are going from the hospital to my GP (you are entitled to this), so it sets it out in black and white for you, although there's not much detail. We all know that where you are standing now is so scary - you imagine all sorts of things - we've all done it. You do actually get used to the idea of it with time and although we are all still having ups and downs, I think we are all in a much better place now than we were six weeks ago. You'll get lots of support here, but do ensure that all your questions are answered by your medical team.

Take care all
Mule x