Well I've succumbed to Sam's fevery cold now - I sweated so much in bed last night it and me were completely soaked by 4am and I had to shift over to the dry side. I've got a croaky voice today too, so I think it's a cold rather than the swelling in my boob that's causing it.
Interesting you are still in pain too Carole. I really didn't expect it to last this long but half of my left boob is hard and swollen and yes, like you say, tender and also weirdly numb. I've thus far been spared the acne. On the plus side it's so swollen it's looking firmer and perkier than it has in years!!!! Makes the right one look very tired. If I end up having to have a mastectomy I'm not sure if I'd go for recon either. I've got plenty of fat on my belly for it but having discovered how long recovery from just the boob operation goes on for I'm not sure I want to contend with another one elsewhere. There's always chicken fillets for "that" dress on Oscars night.
I can understand you having a bit of a wobble for a couple of days Carole - Determination is a daunting place to look at from this vantage point (up Sh** Creek? lol) but we'll all get through there together. Safey in numbers & all that.
Another crack at getting my results at 4 tomorrow. Feeling less petrified than I was a week ago, oddly, although getting more jittery as the day goes on. A group of friends from another website forum I've used for years for parents of twins sent me some lovely flowers in a vase today and a Â£50 M&S voucher. My boss sent me a relaxation cd done by a faith healer - she's convinced the power of the mind is important in these things so I'll give it a go when I go to bed tonight. If it's any good I'll let you know.
Sorry I haven't been around. I'm afraid I looked over my shoulder, back into the desert, and got the Tumbleweed Trembles for a couple of days there. However, holed down in the creek bed for a couple of days, then took a quick scout round the outskirts of Determination, touched the border, and can safely say..... I have faced the desert that I came from, faced the fact that Determination is the only route through to the border, and can completely acknowledge that the border is ahead and I am totally going to cross it!
And then, I see you gals striding ahead to Determination and I am thinking, "Goddamit woman! Get your boot heels dug in and catch up. Don't git laggin' behind. Quit fumblin' with those guns you lilly fingered son of a cactus. Hug your horse and move your sorry butt!"
Pant, pant, hack, cough, pant...... Here I am!!!!!!
Gen, really glad you had a great weekend! And really pleased the old sleeping tinctures are working for you Sal. And thanks for kicking my butt to lift my head above the creek bank Jane! 😄
Gen, I know it's not much help because we've got different wound locations, but I'm still sore, and since the dressing came off last week the area over the wound is feeling worse, hard and sensitive and at the same time numb, if that makes sense, and over where the surgeon went in for the lymphs feels like I'm constantly swollen for a period. I still get zingy pains through from the side, although they've stopped from the nipple. Interestingly I am also peeling the top layer of skin over the wound area, and I seem to have reverted to teenage acne except it's on my boob! Ok, I expected this to be touch a weird, but this is definitely pushing the boundaries of acceptability. I mean really, I smell of TCP!!!!!! :0)
Sal, that recon thing. No biggy. Joke!!! I'm gathering that we know about big boobs on this thread. 🙂 What about going small, if you need it at all that is, or even want it. I know at the moment I'm clear from surgery, but if the chemo doesn't work I'm going straight for the double, and I seriously won't worry about recon if I think it's too much hassle. I can't see why a good bit of pec development with a touch of cosmetic nipple, and some seriously gorgeous, well chosen necklines won't see me down the red carpet on our oscar night! Ahem, we had agreed we were going for film rights and at very least cameo roles (eg Erin Brockovitch) on our Gunslingers story, hadn't we?
Jane, which chocolate? Green & Blacks? Oooh, ultimo favourite, although I just found Seeds of Change, something with figs. MMMMMmmmmmmm.
Right. Rolling into my blankie for the night. Looking up at the night sky, watching that star shooting across, breathing in the calm. Fox calling in the darkness, soft swhoop of barn owl wings, scurry of shrews in the grass nearby, it's good to be ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Hi all. Glad you had a good weekend Gennie, but look after yourself now and don't do too much. Easier said than done I know with children (especially ill ones), but I think we all owe it to ourselves to look after ourselves at this time. We need stamina for that gunfight!
Sounds like you had a good weekend too Jane. The tablet worked until 6 am, when I woke and couldn't get back to sleep. Went to the gym yesterday and a couple of glasses of red wine in the evening, so I thought I'd sleep without it last night. I did, but only until 5 am. Just can't get this right at the moment. Too many things going round my head.
BC nurse went through reconstruction techniques with me on Friday and gave me a leaflet to read. She said I might not need it, but it's as well to discuss it. Surgeon said he had done 3 mastectomies for women in my situation without doing biopsy first to confirm cancer in second area. 2 were cancer, but one wasn't, so she had mx unnecessarily. So, all in all, I was happy (is that really the right word?) with biopsy to confirm yea or nay. There are so many options for recon - it's mind boggling, but i feel as though I ought to have made a decision beforehand so that if I need it, I can get on with it quicker. It seems to be assumed that I would want recon, but after reading leaflet and the internet and knowing the limitations of my own body (ie knackered shoulder, not enough belly fat etc) at times I think perhaps I won't even bother!
Talking of baddies - I think we've got them on the run. Or perhaps they've just gone for reinforcements!
Hi ladies and welcome back Gen. So glad you had a good time this weekend with your hubby. Sounds ever so relaxing and am sure it did you the world of good. Happy to know i'm not the only one having a wee tot at bedtime too lol, My dad got me hooked on whiskey years ago and I have loved it ever since. Although a nice bottle of red with a bar of chocolat comes a close 2nd.
Sal, you are so right about the age of offspring. I have had a great weekend, with them all being over. Curry was lovely, I'll save you some next time. We spent the evening getting tippsy and playing games on the Wi. Including lots of laughter and thats better than any medicine, Am a big kid at heart and can quite easily get hooked on computer games. Also very competative, thats why this b@@@@r got no chance with me. I hate losing!!!!!!! Sunday, the oldest and her boyfriend took us all for lunch at the local cavery. I ate so much, spent most of early evening flat out on sofa.Thank goodness for sky and c.s.i through the night because I couldn't sleep at bed time after afternoon nap. How did you go on with full tablet last night?
Carole where are you? Hope your alright and i'm sure i'm speaking for all the girls when I say we're missing you and your cowgirl antics.
Keep the baddies in the undergrowth Gen, Best place for them.
Hi ladies - and welcome to the posse Gill!
Glad you got some good news on Friday Sal, I was thinking about you. At least you are properly in the process now and on your way to getting better.
I had a lovely weekend away, stayed in a really nice hotel, nice meals out, museums, art galleries, shops..... just really nice & relaxing. Came home to sick children, 2 of whom are home ill with me today. At least I'm not lonely with Jez having gone back to work - although dragging myself out of the house in the wind & rain at 8.30 to take the one healthy child to school wasn't much fun at all!
With all the walking around over the weekend, gravity etc probably, my boob has really swollen up and gone hard so I hope it's not going to explode again. I feel a bit fluey, but I think it's the same bug the children have got - the boob itself doesn't look like it's infected or anything. Hope not. I assume they'll check it on Wednesday anyway.
Speaking of whisky - as I wasn't, but you were earlier - on our way to Norwich on Friday we came across the only English single malt whisky distillery. They were doing tours so we stopped and went round. It was fascinating - and we bought a few single malts while we were at it (well you have to, really) so had a jolly time over the weekend sampling those. I do love a nice whisky. A wee dram is certainly helping me to get to sleep at the moment anyway.
Hope all is ok with you, there don't seem to be any baddies lurking in the undergrowth for today at least
Jane, glad to hear you have such supportive family around you. I didn't like thinking of you on your own. My husband is at home all the time, having had to retire early about 10 years ago, due to a severe back problem, so I'll probably get sick of him when I'm recuperating! That's a great age for offspring isn't it? My son is 29 and daughter 27 and we are all very close, without being in each other's pockets if you know what I mean. Curry sounds great - is there any spare?
I was told to start taking half a tablet at first and if that doesn't work to take a whole one. So I took a half last night as instructed and slept really well until 3:30 am. Then I was awake until about 5:45, although no grims, so that was a bonus. It'll be a whole tablet tonight.
Don't know how cold it was last night, but there was so much frost this morning it looked like snow. It was minus 4 when I left for work at about 8:30, so pretty cold at work. Although we didn't have a driver today and I volunteered to do deliveries, which meant being in the van with the heater on full blast for at least part of the time - lovely 🙂
Sal. I'm not alone in this. Just by myself through the day, while everyone is at work. I have a fantastic and very supportive partner. Also one step daughter living at home & her boyfriend most nights. She is 26 and other step daughter 29 that keeps checking on me via phone calls. Oldest is coming over tonight with her fella, so full house. Which I love by the way. We have great familly evenings. Lots of drinking (sound like a right lush, am not. Before this probably drank once a week. Maybe) and usually end up playing games or holding very long argumentatAive debates about nonsence. Anyway there all here tonight and then taking us out for Sunday lunch tomorrow. All in all a very normal weekend coming up and i'm looking forward to it emencly. Just hated shoping for them all this morning. Hope you had a good nights sleep and not to cold at work today.
So i'm off to start the tea, big pan of curry coming up lol
P.S I cry all the time at weepies, Sal and other peoples misfortunes. Sometimes it helps me put perspective on things because when I look around me, there are still a lot of people, in far worse positions than me.
Jane, I really don't know how you're doing this on your own. My family are really supportive and although I know they're finding it difficult too, it's good to know the old man is there, even if he is sleeping like a baby while I'm having the grims! I think he found it a great help today, talking to bc nurse. He doesn't ever say what he's thinking and keeps telling me it'll be ok, but I know it's difficult for him. He's just not telling me his worst fears - just as well, I say.
You're right when you say one day at a time. Although I do think we have to go to the worst case scenario in order to mentally prepare ourselves, should the worst happen. That way we can deal with it without too much shock. But on the whole, we have to think of the positives more and that is really difficult. But don't go reading other people's horror stories Carole, the gang's not going to get you with us beside you!!!
"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story" another Orson Wells quote I'm afraid and we're not stopping this story until we have a happy ending 🙂
I agree with you, it's bad enough keeping your own emotions in check, but if someone else cracks, that's me done for. I'm hopeless with other people's sadness - I can cry through any film. Ghost, ET, Dumbo (when they lock his mother up as a mad elephant) and ER when Dr Green died - Trauma City USA!. I know, I'm a hopeless case, but I can't help it.
Just been to the pub for a pint and I know I shouldn't drink and take sleepers as well, but I've got to work tomorrow and I can't catch up in the day. Well never can really, just can't do the catnapping thing. That's a real talent if you can. Wedding fair on Sunday and lots of bridal bouquets to do, so a good 8 hours would be very much appreciated.
Yep one week on Monday I get results Carole. I'm starting to get a bit miffed to say the least. I dont know how they expect peolple to wait so long. 4wks 3days. Just gives my imagionation more and more time to run away with itself. I'll try keep out of that saloon but there will be plenty of island whiskeys left for you Carole. I'm more of a glenmorangi fan Mmmmm.
Went on live chat last night and it seems that quite a lot of people go through chemo with very little side effects. Everyone differant. Maybe you are being a little like me Carole and reading far to ahead of ourselves. Need to slow down. Join me in saloon and face chemo when it starts, one day at a time. Then we'll all battle through it together.
Hi Gill and welcome. Hope your not having to many nights with four episodes of west wing.
Hi and welcome Gill! Join in as much as you like. Extra posse members are always a good thing. 🙂
Sal, excellent news on the left. Remember to break the feather end of the arrow off and pull it through from the pointy end. Ouchy but it comes out cleaner! I was watching the smoke signals and I doubt we'll be seeing him again for a while. Best interpretation I could make was "One tough gunslinger. Shot with best arrow. Kept walking like hadn't been hit. Suggest leave alone and head back to camp". I'm pretty sure it was something like that, but I am a tad rusty....
Sleeping is a definite good thing. Glad you're going to get something Sal. I thought I was starting to sleep through, but the thought of the chemo's starting to make me jittery. I get about 4 hours then toss and turn. In addition, I broke the news to my mother this morning. Better than I expected, but then I got off the phone quick before her voice cracked. Selfish of me I know, but I have to keep the steely determination going. Anybody had that thing yet where friends or family phone to see how you are and talk to him instead of you, even when you're shouting "I'm here!!!" in the background? What is that about!? Oops, not being positive minded here. Must be getting too close to Determination town edge and feeling the baddies watching me.
Talking of which, Jane, stop sneaking into the saloon! We want there to be enough left for us when we get there. 😄 You're a week on Monday for results, yes?
Gen, if you're still around tonight, have a great weekend. Relax, refresh, and seduce that hubby of yours.
lol@ you Sal.I thought it was just me couldn't keep out of the bathroom at the hospita
Great news about the left booby and its good to know they are getting on with things as far as your right is conceren'd. It sounds like they have looked after you and your familly really well today and are going to do there best, to ensure you dont have to wait too long for the results.Hopefully you will get a good nights sleep tonight after your visit to gp. It was my first port of call after dx. Although I have not used any of the sleepers yet. Find the whiskey is working a treat, well kind of, am sleeping from 11pm to 2am then very light rest of night till sevenish, Could be that afternoon nap I keep having. I cant help it. Its sop boring at home by myself all day.
Hope your having a lovely weekend with your hubby Gen.
It sounds idealic where you live Carole. Perfect for recoupreation (sorry spelling am rubbish) Bet theres lots of hidy hoes to escape those pesky gangs.
Welcome Gill. Looks like you have the same sense of humour as us.
Well, this morning was interesting. I spent 3 hours at the clinic, initially because they were running late. The good news is that the left breast is clear - hoorah! On the other hand, they have found a second suspicious area in the right breast - booo! So, I have had to have another biopsy, this time using the mammogram equipment. Not pleasant I have to say and quite lengthy - must have been in there 30-40 minutes. The right boob was squashed within an inch of its life and they must have taken about 12 samples. I must have gone down a cup size by the time they had finished. Feel like I've been shot in the boob by a stray Apache that was hiding in the hills. He's left me battered and bruised (again) but he's not getting my scalp though!
Usually the waitfor results is 2 weeks, but they have spoken to the pathologist, who has said he will try to push things through quicker, so I may be seen next week. I have to ring them Wed afternoon to see if they have the result. If they do, they'll see me on Thurs afternoon. Otherwise it will be 23 Jan. Bu@@er.
Husband and daughter came along for the ride (albeit a bumpy one) and they had the chance to talk to the bc nurse while I was being speared by the Apache arrow. I also had a long chat with her afterwards and we all came out feeling quite upbeat. She did persuade me that I should speak to my gp and get something to help me sleep, so I'm off to get some drugs now and I should get a better night tonight. It was about 2 am when I got to sleep last night.
One good thing about all these appointments is that I am getting a good detox. No need for expensive colonic irrigation when you have an appointment at the breast clinic 🙂
Ladies, couldn't help butting in, your thread has made me giggle and I've enjoyed having a smile!
Planning to catch ER on demand later as hubby can't do blood and gore, our life saver has been box sets of West Wing lent by good friend. She now doesn't ask " how are you?" but " how many episodes of WW did you watch last night?"
1 = good relaxed evening, no worries
4= worst evening since diagnosis!
Have a good day all
lol! You have no idea how "middle of nowhere"! I live on a hill 1.5 miles from a tiny village, 5 miles from a slightly bigger village with a village store, 10 miles from the nearest small town, 16 miles from anything a bit bigger, and 45 miles from the nearest city. I don't get mobile reception either!
Sal, you've just about nailed House! The storyline is irrelevant though. Hugh Lawrie is why I watch. Ah mio cuore! I never got ER. It's what makes us all individuals. :0)
Can you get Strictly on DVD? I've heard so much about it, and I absolutely adore to dance. Sounds like something to while away the hours on the couch during Chemo?
Ooh maybe not with the House then. :S What channel is it on?
I loved Scrubs. that's more my kind of medical programme - funny, and Zach Braff to boot!
I'm off to get my fix of ER. Got to get into the medical spirit for tomorrow. Thanks for all your thoughts, they definitely make me feel better.
Craig Charles is in Coronation Street now. I don't watch soaps though. Or reality tv actually and like you Sal, Strictly is the only one I've bothered with and that's only been this series because my daughter kept saying all her school friends watched it so could we. I was pleasantly surprised and got quite hooked.
No tv Carole?!!! Actually there's very little on proper tv that we bother to watch. We tend to record reruns of older stuff on Sky+. I haven't seen any of the House series though - that'll be one to get myself into next I feel as I have a soft spot for Hugh Lawrie.
You must live in the middle of nowhere! We can't get freeview here, but we get the four main channels. Oh, and Sky etc - my husband's a big footie fan and couldn't live without wall to wall sport. I got bored with House after about the first 5 episodes - I just couldn't get it. Format - someone comes into hospital with mystery illness; they think they've solved the mystery and then something goes wrong and they discover that it was something else all along; and all the while House was being rude, popping pills, upsetting everyone. Did I miss something?
Ooh, I thought Craig Charles (that's him from Red Dwarf isn't it?) was soooo sexy! Now I'm more Daniel Craig. I don't actually have a television.... SHOCK, HORROR, GASP. Well, I do, but I don't get reception where I live, so I just watch endless reruns of all the House series'. I swear I could diagnose and treat us all if only they wouldn't keep getting Security to throw me out!
I know that one - I watch Strictly too. It's the only one of those competition/reality (or whatever they are called) programmes that I've ever watched. I have to admit I like Red Dwarf too, but haven't watched that for ages. And the Simpsons, well, I can relate to that too. So you see I do watch the tv, but have to admit I'm quite selective. All those weeks I spent recuperating with my shoulder and I didn't watch daytime tv once - just didn't feel strong enough! And I've just seen in the paper that the last series of ER starts tonight. Now that's got to be a bonus. I've been hooked on that since the very first programme.
"I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts." Orson Wells
I know what you mean about life changing tune, Gennie. Mine's been a damn musical! I'm off to put on my gold sparkly shoes in readiness for the next change of tempo 🙂
I love Tommy Cooper. I always think of that spoon-jar-jar-spoon thing he used to do. I don't know why, but that always tickles me.
I'm easily pleased. 🙂
"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. " Tommy Cooper
Another quotation for you, which I just got from The Simpsons (my daughter's watching it Sal, not me - although you're right I do watch too much telly - the GOLD channel in the wee small hours is keeping the grims away so I won't hear a word said against it lol!):-
"Life keeps changing the tune but you've got to keep up with the Cha cha cha."
(That's from Stricly Come Dancing, Sal. Yes, I watch that too! :D) xx
Best of luck Sal, I'll be thinking of you. March in there mob handed - why not, I would!! And we'll all be right behind you in spirit too. xx
Thanks Carole. I'm feeling much calmer today, but don't know how I'll feel in the morning.
I've got my husband coming with me and my daughter has just rung and said she'd like to come too. It's gonna be like a posse 🙂
Sal, good luck for tomorrow. If you don't log in tonight, hope you feel the positive vibes coming your way. Tilt the hat down low over one eye kiddo, but never let the target out of your sight.
I remember that Red Dward episode! I must have been channelling it for Determination.
Nearly there Sal. Drink some ginger tea for the churning belly. I needed some yesterday I can tell you. I spent most of the morning on the loo I was so wound up about getting results. Ewwww, not pleasant. Even the dogs stayed downstairs. 😄
This is definitely the time to be taking some days away. Sounds like a brilliant idea. I made the mistake of reading ahead on the forum about chemo. Baaaaad idea! What do I keep saying to everyone, one step at a time. Slaps self around the face, twice. 🙂
Know what you mean about sports bras. They might do the job, but sexy they are not. On the other hand, every attractive bra I stuff my 38DDs into just looks like, well, a humungous bra with gigantor boobs in it and back fat from the other side. All I was after was a quick mastectomy and B cup reconstruction. Was it so much to ask? At the moment, the Bad gang are going to see me coming round the corner before I actually get there. Not much good for sneaking up on folk. 😄
Right, I'm off to bed. Time to conjure up George C and get him to give me a lingering dreamtime hug.
Sleep well ladies.
I must say the sports jobby I've got from M&S is squashing me flat and is somewhat uncomfy. I was complaining to Jez that I want lace and frills not utilitarian white elastic! What are the chances of me enticing him during our dirty weekend away in one of those do you reckon? 😄
Mind you it's probably more attractive than the scarred and bruised horror that lurks beneath. I get to soak my steristrips off on Saturday if I want to. The glamour never ends. 😄
Yes, seen Bravissimo, but much dearer than M&S. But that's always the price I've had to pay for being a wierd size. Didn't really want to have to spend a fortune on bras that look rubbish.
I'm 52 and counting I'm afraid. So while not being illegal, still quite young. Yeah, 32 years - you get less for murder! lol
Now, sports bras. They do go down to 32 in those. However, I've got quite a few of them and they either squash you completely or make you look a bit like Madonna in her cone bra era. Not really the look I'm after for every day. Although beggars can't be choosers as they say.
Didn't you say your 32nd wedding anniversary was on 11th Dec? Have I read that wrong?
Actually i must have, you're in your 40s aren't you? You must have been an illegal bride lol!
I got a post surgery sports bra from M&S online Sal. Tres sexy it is too. Not. Mind you, I'm a 38DD so maybe easier to find.
If you mean 32" bra, it's just that I'm a short ar@e with a narrow back. Definitely not sylph-like if that's what you're imagining.
Glad to know you know loads of people who've survived. My experience is the opposite (cancer as a whole, not just breast cancer) so I think that's why I'm freaking out.
On the Wild West theme I have read many times that visualisation can be a very powerful tool in beating this (as recommended by Kylie, although I bet her visualisations weren't as inventive as ours ;o)!)
It reminds me of an Emmy Award winning episode of Red Dwarf. Don't know if anybody ever saw it. I'll give you a quick rundown - are you sitting comfortably?
The spaceship's navigation computer contracts an "Armageddon Virus", leaving it locked on a suicide course straight toward a large volcanic moon. One of the crew, Kryten, deliberately infects himself with the virus in order to try and formulate a software antidote - a "Dove Program".
Kryten's battle with the virus manifests itself as a Wild West–flavoured dream; he is the cowardly, drunken and burnt-out Sheriff of a town called Existence, standing against four outlaws known as the Apocalypse Boys: Famine, Pestilence, War, and Death. The rest of the crew use an artificial reality machine to enter Kryten's Wild West hallucination and bring him aid. They take up the roles of characters from an old Wild West video game- giving Lister incredible knife throwing abilities, Cat, amazing marksmanship with dual-wielded six shooters, and turning Rimmer into a prodigious unarmed brawler.
The trio confront the Apocalypse Boys while the still-confused and unsteady Kryten struggles for a solution. Lister, Cat & Rimmer manage to use their new talents to delay the Apocalypse Boys long enough for Kryten to finish his antidote. The cowardly Sheriff fires his guns on the Apocalypse Boys but instead of bullets leaving his gun, white doves fly out whose touch destroys the Boys. This is the Dove Program and the ship and our heroes are saved.
A few parallels there I feel. There's got to be some material to add to our scenario from that little lot!
I'm feeling less bitter & twisted now. Still not impressed with being messed about and I will make my feelings known about that next week - it's not on to mess with people's heads over something like this but I guess it's just a day at the office to them. However, as you rightly say Carole, it's just a week. Minor setback.
And I have a nice weekend away to look forward to in the interim.
My hubby's aunt had breast cancer in her 40's - had a breast removed and she's still going strong in her mid-80's. His Grandmother also had it and survived for years - her eventual demise at a grand old age being entirely unrelated. I know loads of people who've beaten this and we all will too.
32 years eh Sal? What's your secret?!
By the way, went into M&S at lunchtime today to look at the lovely non-underwired bras. Only one style that went down to 32 and then only up to DD. Seems like I'm stuffed. Or not as the case may be if you get my drift.
Fantastic scenario Carole. I'm loving it too. Infact, its made my night but can I stop at the saloon for a wee tot of malt, while I wait for my results?
Good to hear from you Sal, everything your feeling (brain tumours etc) is normal after dx. I'm sure well all feel much better when we catch up with Carole and know where we're going with this.
And good on you Gen. A couple of nights away will do you and your hubby the world of good. Might just do something like that with my other half before treatment starts.
Yo, Carole! Keep going - a bit of escapism is what we all need right now. And Determination's a great name. I had that picture running in my head, which is good, 'cos I'm feeling very twitchy at the moment. Got a call from the bc nurse this afternoon. She said the MRI report is done and can they change my appointment to 9:30 am instead of 12 noon on Friday? Great, I say. Then after I put the phone down, I start thinking "why do they want to see me earlier, do they need to do more tests?" etc etc etc. I've got that churning belly feeling all the time. God, this is crazy, I'm not ever someone who thinks I've got a brain tumour when it's just a headache. But with this, I seem to be panicking at the drop of a hat! I think my blood pressure will be sky high too by Friday morning.
Well, you girls have been busy since I last posted! Really pleased to hear your results Carole, although grade 3 is nasty, it looks as though it has good-naturedly stayed put. Apparently mine is grade 2 and much smaller than yours, so that's given me hope too. I'm also oestrogen positive, so I'll be on the tamoxifen as well. Not looking forward to the possible menopausal symptoms - I've been having night sweats off and on for about 7 or 8 years already, although the damn periods refuse to give up the ghost!
Gennie, what a bummer. I'm with you on the "they know Christmas happens every year, why don't they just make some adjustments to deal with it" scenario. I was told I'd have to wait until 8 Jan for my MRI because they do this sort of scan on Thursdays and they therefore lost two days on the trot for Christmas and new year. Why can't they just change the day they do them on one of the weeks to minimise the impact? Thankfully, it seems like that's what they did with me, because they were running out of time. I know what you mean about getting your focus on one day. That's why I was peeved on Monday when I spoke to the bc nurse. I thought I couldn't keep it together for another week without finding out what's in store, so I got all forceful. My thoughts are very much with you. If I could send a bit of calm down the line to you I would, so let's all hold hands, close our eyes, take a deep breath and slowly blow the stress out through our mouths. Watch that breath blowing down the road in Determination City. I think it's blowing the tumbleweed right through the saloon door 🙂 And who's that I see at the bar? Brad Pitt? George Clooney? Whoever you like, I guess.
Ah, wedding anniversary. Our 32nd wedding anniversary was 11 Dec, the day before I got my diagnosis. The last day of normality in this increasingly crazy world of ours! Have a good one and enjoy your weekend.
I nearly forgot in all the excitement. I had an email from my cousin in Canada this week. She told me that her mother-in-law had a breast removed 30 years ago and is still going strong at 91! Whooopie! Now that is something to aim for girls. Bet I get there before you!!
lol! Maybe I should copyright. Somebody could steal the idea and we'll miss out on millions on the film rights!
Gen, I'm kicking and spitting like a wildcat on your behalf! Ok, minor set back, more time to prep the guns as you say. Hold the line lass. It's only a week. A week you can most certainly have done without, but only 7 days nonetheless. I came up for a name for the town in our gunslinger scenario. Picture the scene.
The camera shot opens on a desert. It's hot, dry, dusty, desolate, there's a heat haze. Out of the haze figures start to form. As they come closer we can see there are four of them. Four figures leading horses. They're dusty, the horses have cloths over their muz\zles, the figures are wearing long riding coats, hats, and bandanas over their mouths. They move closer, striding forward with purpose, intent. They've walked through that desert, it's been tough, but they're walking out of it. They draw closer to the camera, and each one in turn pulls down the bandana. They're women, eyes focussed and piercing. Each has their own story, their own burden, two have scars on their faces. They walk past the camera and the camera follows them round. Their coats move as they stride and we can see guns on their hips, rifles on the horses saddles. Each saddle is etched with figures, emblems, each telling the owner's story. The camera is watching them walk ahead now, and ahead is the hazy outline of a town. There's a creek between the desert edge and the town with a solitary tree drawing water up from where it's roots touch the creek bed. They stop, take the cloths from the horses noses, and the horses lean forward to drink. The four women crouch down and lift water to their mouths, rinse their bandanas in the creek and wipe the dust from their faces. They look towards the town, look at each other, and nod slightly. The horses finish drinking, the women pick up the reins, and move on. The town's where they have to go, and they know that the town has everything they need, but there's a gang in town, a gang that will fight them for everything, try and break them, slow them down as they head for that border. That border's where they're heading. On the other side is a new life, new opportunities. They're going to fight their way through that town. They're going to crush the gang, and take all the help the good townspeople can give them. The town sign comes into focus. Our four gunslingers and their horses move past it. The town is called Determination.
Or whatever else you want to suggest! 🙂 Looks like you came up against one of the gang wandering out of town. I was thinking the desert is our diagnosis and all the worries and unknowns that come with that, the creek is results, a brief strange kind of relief, then we move on to the town, which is treatment. The gang is all the side effects of treatment, negative reactions, low days, anything that tries to pull us away from a positive attitude about where we're headed. I guess this guy got to the creek ahead of us. Send him running Gen, we'll deal with him later.
Jane, glad you've got your appointment date. You can wash the dust from your mouth soon enough.
Is this whole scenario thing too much, or is it fun enough for everyone? 🙂
Ah well Jane, we'll just have to polish those guns a while longer won't we girl? I know this isn't going to make a diffrerence treatement-wise and I probably wouldn't start any more treatment for 2 or 3 weeks anyway it's just that I'd screwed my nerves up and focussed on today so to get let down at the last minute is hard. They should probably have factored in Christmas in giving results dates to people, realistically. This must happen every year. I feel a weird mixture of churned up ickiness and relief. Which is silly cos there's nothing to be relieved about! However, I'll try to put it to the back of my mind for a few days again. It's our 10th wedding anniversary on Friday so we've booked a last minute hotel break for Friday and Saturday night. I just want to get away from here and chill for a couple of days, I've moped about for long enough.
Know just how you feel Gen. A week on Monday for me. At least your panic is over though, well I hope it is and your not so worried.
Oh - and it's next Wednesday at 4pm instead. If they pull their fingers out!
A curse on West Suffolk Hospital. 😞
They finally phoned back. It turns out my results aren't ready - the path lab is running behind because of Christmas. She promised me it's nothing more sinister than that, doesn't know any more about my results than I do. They had to bump a load of people from last week to this week and same today.
Just what I need though, to stew another week. 😞
Awe Gen please try not to get to worried. Easier said then done, when you have probably been getting mentaly ready for the appointment since last night. I know how frustrating those answer machines can be. Especially when you want answers. Gen, if it was bad they would want to see you sooner not delay things. Maybe its just they have not all returned to work yet, after christmas period.
Post as soon as you have spoke to/heard from them.
Take care and hold them guns tight.