I have now returned to work and although I felt sick the night before It is lovely to be back. I am on reduced ours but it has really help take my mind of things and has definately improved my overall mood. I have also given up junk food and been eating very healthily and been out for longer walks. Also dropped a few pounds that is definitely needed . It all has helped, I do still get tired and in the mornings have bad hip/leg pains. I cant do what I did before but I am feeling better. I have a back massage booked for later on in the week . I think its just taking things slowly. Off for my next herceptin...thats another one out the way.
Hope everyone is good....thanks again for the great advice. xxx
I certainly found that noticing lovely things and appreciating them helps me when I'm having a down day. I go for a walk and really look at the trees, birds, flowers, snow covered landscape, butterflies, lambs etc (depending on time of year, obviously!) I also find being able to get up a hill and see a view into the distance very therapeutic.
I like to remind myself, every now and , that I am enjoying myself, whether I'm preparing or eating a nice meal, knitting in front of the telly or reading a book.
Being creative helps too: making cards, cooking, knitting, sewing, poetry, writing a blog or diary, painting - whatever; it does you good to be able to say "I made that!"
I can recommend Reki it's a great healer and relaxer and really helped me heal and keep calm. Mis along with a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables which helped boost energy levels made a difference to my general well being. A change of diet helped me naturally loose some extra pounds and then I started to feel better as I looked better and suddenly I felt more like my old self even though I would never be my old self I think I feel better than my old self. Good luck on your journey x
Linda that article was great....he really puts it so perfectly. Thank you for the link.
I think it is the loss of the comfort blanket, at rads, having chemo, at appts etc we are all similar. We have little hair, perhaps one boob like myself, rubbish nails, anxious thoughts from time to time and then we go back to the real world. I suppose it affects your confidence. I work with the public and I was so bubbly I dont know if I can be bubbly anymore. I am truly greatful I have come out the other side of most of my treatment. I have beautiful children that are the centre of my world I have got everything to be happy about and I am. I think its just on the railroad of treatment you tend to just battle on and forget your feelings.
I ll take a look at that website too HJU63 as I do think nutrition is a key to wellbeing. Thank you.
Flori35 so sorry you have had a really bad day at work but it sounds like you have some great colleagues. Perhaps things will be better tomorrow.
I ve heard that trying to be more mindful helps. Taking notice of every little thing around us, like noticing the trees, birds, lovely meal etc anything really instead of just rushing around getting everything done.
Thanks again for your kind words and advice it is very comforting x
I think when we have had a diagnosis of bc and go through the the journey of diferent treatments we often go in to survival mode and need to consentrate on getting through and surviving for your self and your loved ones. When people are in crisis and have experience the trauma of these journeys we are not always emotionally free enough to feel and process feelings, but after it becomes almost safe enough to become unsafe if that makes scence. You have been through a really tough and traumatic journey and one that brings with it change and loss, of your former life hopefully more peaceful life, before a diagnosis of bc, and the loss of even your breast, it burns alot of energy both physically and emotionally. You konw maybe its just your time to start to have the time to heal emotionally and pyysically and do you know what its ok to cry, maybe thats just what you need for now. Healing emotionally is a journey too and takes time. Be kind to your self during the next stage of your journey. Hannah X
This is a great article Linda - thanks for sending the link. I read it for the first time a few months ago and have just re-read it. It reminds me to allow myself the space and time to go through the 3 stages. I think I might take a copy for my boss as he will see me looking ok and thing that it is all behind me! The article explains the situation much better than I can.
Hi Sassy - Just to say, you're definitely not alone in how you're feeling. I can't put my bad feelings down to any further treatments as I'm TN, so nothing else to take. I think that's part of my problem - my safety blanket, which was treatment, has been taken away and now it's just me. I've developed an autoimmune problem which is affecting my thyroid now so that may be part of why I'm struggling to cope as I'm getting strong feelings of anxiety which I can't control. I've just had one of the worst days I've ever had at work and can no longer face doing my job. But I feel trapped because I have a mortgage etc to pay and so need to earn a certain amount and also I like the people I work with - they're good friends as well as colleagues - and I would hate to leave because I've worked in other places in the past with people who don't have the same interests or understand me and that also wasn't a good experience. It's the nature of my job where I sometimes have to deal with people who can be quite unpleasant and I just can't help thinking with my prognosis and the uncertainty of the next few years that I just need a quiet life without conflict.
Cornishgirl - thanks for the link to the article. I'm going to give it to my bosses. I emailed another article to one of them before Christmas after someone on the Forum put a link to one by a journalist for The Guardian who wrote about how life is after cancer. I felt he also summed things up clearly and I wanted my boss to have some understanding and to know that it's not just me who has issues following cancer treatment, however my boss has never mentioned it since, which in itself unnerves me a bit.
Keep chatting on the Forum Sassy. I find that also helps as I can't keep talking about cancer issues with people who don't really understand. Although I do have a lovely friend who has been through the same as me but I also don't want to burden her anymore with my worries when she has enough of her own.
Hi , I think one of the most difficult times is often when we are nearing or have come to the end of treatments for BC, its realy not surprising as when you are going through cancer life just seems to be consumed by all the different treatments and one hospital appointment after another ,its no wonder its not untill we get to the end that we finaly have time to reflect on all that has happened to us, we often dont have those feeling of celebraton that sometimes others expect ,but more often abondonment ,and feelings of whats next ,and how do i start to pick up my life again. ,
Dr Peter Harvey, wrote an exelent artical which a lot of ladies including myself have found very helpfull to them, it realy does relate to all the feelings and emotions that we all go through with the rollercoaster that is BC, i would def reccommend reading it if you are nearing the end of treatments and are trying to make sense of it all,am sure you will find it helpfull. The artical is called , After the Treatment Finishes - Then What? i have put a link below for anyone who would like to read it.
My hospital has also just started offering exercise classes at the local gym courtesy of the NHS ,its for groups of 20 breast cancer ladies and the exercises are tailored to your personaly abilty and fitness level , its a good oppertuneity to be able to meet other ladies with BC too , not sure if your hospital does this too but i think it is something that a lot of hospitals are starting up.
Theres also the Look Good Feel Better workshops , i think all the hospitals run these, you have to book a place but lots of ladies realy enjoy the workshops and as a bonus you get a goody bag packed full of lovely cosmetics, facecreams, purfumes ect. Its also another oppertunity to be able to meet other BC ladies going through the same as you. You can go on one of these workshops whether your still haveing treatments or have finished, and again it is free.
Not sure if any of this has helped, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone with how your feeling.
you are definitely not alone. I think we are all trying to make sense of why this has happened and what next. I think I will look out for the Williams book too. I don't know where you are but The Haven (Leeds, London and Hereford) run sessions on nutrition, relaxation and other topics - I have been on an Intro day with them in Coventry and found it useful and am thinking I might attend some other days. Their sessions are free and they also offer a range of other services - they have a good website. I have found being able to organise and inform myself has helped me feel a little sense of control in this process which has been run by the medics - and although I am gradteful for all the wonderful treatment I have received from the NHS it will be nice to get my life back. keep in touch when you need to
Hi Christine P, Milo 1 and HJU63,
Thank you so much for your good advice and kind words.
Like you say you are consumed by hospitals and treatments etc that I suppose you dont really take it all in, if you know what I mean. I will definately look out for that booklet by Chris Williams. Also Eating healthy diet no junk sounds good, I always ate healthily before, but since chemo I ate what I fancied and it was not always the healthiest choice.
I will take a day at a time and if I still feel bad by next herceptin I will give BCN a call. I suppose things dont happen over night. Thank you, its nice to no I'm not alone in feeling like this xx
what you describe about your feelings sounds so like me when just finishing treatment, and I understand many others feel like this too. As suggested above counselling may be a good thing, perhaps your BCN can refer you to some complementary services like these?
My gp gave me a little booklet called 'reclaim your life , from illness disability pain or fatigue' written by chris Williams, which I found really helpful. It is a small booklet with very helpful ideas, very easy to read, lots of good suggestions - I found it very useful.
First thing be gentle with yourself, your body and mind have come through a lot and it takes time to heal, I look in the mirror and see a different person to who I was, I think I am a more patient and a nicer person now. I try to walk for about an hour a day, it lifts dark moods and thoughts and it is not to difficult to do, I would find an exercise class too much, I try to be with positve people and have eased myself out of negative 'friends' circles, Try to eat a healthy diet, I have stopped drinking and having caffine and junk food - boring but I feel it will be worth it and if it all gets to much speak to your BCN and ask her to refer you for counseling. You should recieve some good advice from others on here, pick through it and choose your own way. Good luck on your return to work xx
Hi Sassy, I can sympathise with your feelings. When I had my final rad the lovely staff kept asking if I was going to celebrate. But I had no feelings about celebratingl, I don't feel happy that treatment is over in fact I don't feel very much at all. I am trying to understand what is going on for me and at the moment think that although treatment is over I don't really feel physically better even though like you I am making moves to return to work and my pre-diagnosis life. For the last 10 months my life has been focussed on eradicating cancer from my body and now the active treatment is over and I will, like you, be taking tam for 5 years. I am not sure that over the last 10 months I really came to terms with what has happened and now i think that this is starting and I have both up and down days.I am walking on a daily basis, listening to music, reading, meeting friends and generally trying to keep myself busy as otherwise I know I will dwell on things. It has helped. But like you I have weepy days and I am just trying to accept them as i don't seem to be able to stop them. Be kind to yourself, do what you can on the good days and accept the not-so-good
I am currently on Herceptin/tamoxifen after finishing chemo/mx/rads. I am returning back to work next month and starting to get my life sort of back on track. Hair growing (slowly), so why do I feel fed up sometimes(not all). Can anyone suggest any remedies, diet tips, exercise that has worked for them. I know I should be over the moon now I ve come through most of it, but I don't and then feel bad about that. Occasionally tearful which I never did during chemo etc as just used to make the most of all my good days and get on with it. Please help, any ideas greatly appreciated xx