Anyone due to start chemo in April? - Awesom April Angels

[Philomena_b]

Hello Angels, well I have felt bereft these last few days not being able to keep in touch with you all. Amazing how big a part of my life this site has become. All is well with me, I had my forth rads today and apart from a bit of tenderness in the breast, all is well. Looking forward to catching up on all your latest news xx

[Guest user]

Hi Angie, had a bit of a problem with my login and password but got here in the end!  It will take a bit of getting used to, hope the other AAAs find the thread ok!

How are you doing?  I've been quite good, still a bit achy but chemo nurse said that could last a while.  Getting my Hick line out tomorrow then rads start on Tuesday.  Diet and power plate going well, have lost 4 lbs 🙂

Pauline xx

[angiepops]

wow

here we are girls, i can't believe how cut off i felt without all of you being there.

so hello everyone, what have we all been up to, has your hair grown back yet

angie xx

[Mosiecat]

Hello Everyone,
Probably the last post for a while till they get the site sorted. Had a good weekend. Have decided to completely decorate the bedroom so spent most of yesterday looking at paint, wallpaper, carpets, headboards and so on. Felt good to be actually planning something. Tastebuds returned yesterday so went out for a curry last night. Do you know, that was, without a doubt, the best tasting food I've had for at least three months! The large Kingfisher went down a treat as well.
Today have been to Newby Hall with OH, daughter, SIL and three small children. Thoroughly enjoyed myself doing nothing out of the ordinary.
Sorry Angie, but my eyebrows are nothing like Dennis Healey's. Mine are very short, stumpy bristles. Need them to grow a bit longer so they can be trained into some sort of shape. By the way, does anyone know when we are allowed to start dying the bum fluff. I know it's not worth the bother at the moment but I'm hoping that by Christmas I might just get away with it. Don't think mine is chemo white Amber - it's just white! Hope tomorrow goes well for you. Haven't been offered any aqueous cream yet. At the mo I'm using anything and everything to keep skin supple. Radiotherapist told me no problem using Bionsen deoderant from Boots.
Good to hear some of us getting away for a few days. Going up North next weekend to visit brother before the sunbed sessions start.
Hope everyone has turned that next corner,
Moira xxx

[LNMcG]

Hey Angels just read all your posts you have all been busy bees. Good luck with the rads tomorrow Amber. I have my planning appt on Thursday. Hope you who are still on hols are having a great break. Mel don't push yourself too hard you don't want to end up more ill. I have applied for ESA based in my ni contributions as stat sick pay finishing. There is also an income related part to it although Im not entitled as my husband is working . When you are in Inverness go to the maggie centre they will have a benefits adviser who may be able to help you out.
I had my sister brother inlaw, two nephews and the dog here today my mum, son, and daughter too, 9 for dinner felt like Christmas with the extra chair out the garage ect. All went well although I am a bit knackered now should sleep tonight.
I hope I manage to navigate the new site and find you all again. Take care Lynn x

[CazP]

Hi Angels,
Had a nice weekend - the s/e's were much improved and I managed an hour out on my bike this morning which was wonderful. I still struggled on the inclines (had to stop talking, and I think my heart rate was probably rather high) but soon recovered on the flat.
Envious of all you Angels having/planning holidays - not something I have the enthusiasm to organise at the moment but soon..
Take care, Carol

[Rozz]

Hi Angels,

I woke up an hour ago after a 3 hour “nap”! Needed due to entirely self-inflicted lack of sleep after a vg but v large meal + booze kept me awake all night! When will I ever learn?!

Either I’ve gained about 10lbs in 3 weeks or I’ve got the water-retention my Onc said might happen. Maybe some of you with weight gain have the same thing? My left (operated) side is fatter than my right side too which is a bit odd-looking.

Otherwise this past cycle hasn’t been too bad, but I’m getting progressively weaker and I’m still not back to normal even now 2 ½ weeks on.

I’ve just started my last fast today. My stomach hasn’t realized yet; big brekkie did for lunch too and it’s expecting some of the roast chicken dinner OH has cooked for the boys. It will complain a bit later on, but huger pangs will wear off surprisingly quickly. I’ll be in work (if I can wake up!) tomorrow & Tuesday then I’ll be on the steroids getting ready for my LAST chemo. I hope you’re keeping a space for me on that platform!

Fecinora, Pauline & Moira. The nail thing sounds awful, hope you’re coping. Not good to know it can happen weeks after chemo either….
Pauline, Amber, Philomena, Mel thanks for sharing your holidays with us all, it’s good to have some nice news and to know you’re getting out and about and having fun.
Lynn, Judy & Sandy– hope you’re through the worst now, it must be good knowing its the last one (…tho I think Sandy has one of two to go?).
Debra – hang in there. Maybe thinking the BC is having a much worse time than you will help??
Philomena – I so admire your guts! Being a nurse probably doesn’t help – too much info?! Good to see you’re keeping your sense of humour though. Our posts crossed last week -the M2 is only available from Harrods (online) - treat yourself! My dad had a heart attack aged 57, he’s now 84 and still playing golf, gardening, looking after my Mum and doing his own DIY. It’s a bummer that your heart has been affected but it can be managed. The sundaes sound wonderful, best I could get was a McFlurry!
Angie, I hope work isn’t too much for you. Do you get your groceries delivered? I have done ever since it was invented (pre-internet!) it saves a lot of time and you save money on petrol & not being tempted by in-store bargains (tho they will tell you what they are anyway!). Hope your family is helping with the housework too!

Here’s to a smooth transfer to the new forum – see you all there.
Rozz

[lori28]

Hi Angels,
Good luck to all you ladies with your rads appointment's, I have not been offered this so can't give any advice really although my friend has not long completed her course and is doing really well so hope you will all fair well on it.
I started my Herceptin infusions on Monday and have no additional side effects to report. My currennt state which is same as you Judy are all thanks to Docetaxel. Aching hands, arms, legs and feet with a few finger and toe nail issues....I think trying to keep them all may be an issue but keeping them short seems to be helping.
Philomena, I am so sorry to hear what your going through and wish you well, you sound like a very strong lady in your outlook and that can only be a good thing so keep positive....we're all right behind you!
I hope the SE's for you all subside soon so you can have some respite before starting your rads.
I hope you can manage to complete your treatment Debra......easy for me to say now I'm through it but for your own peace of mind knowing your giving it your best shot and doing all you possibly can - hope you find the strength love!
Pauline I might give the power plate a go too, there is one in a salon close to where I live so it might be the kick start I need. I am going to start back Pilates next week too so hopefully this will help stretch out all my achy joints!!
Well ladies we might not get much posted over next few days with the forum changeover but I will keep looking and will be thinking about you all!
Lots of love Lori xx

[angiepops]

hi ann
yes i spoke to them a couple of times, sent all the paperwork etc but we are over the limit, just, so i gave up.
thanks,
angie xx

[Ann_W]

Angie
Could you not get any help from McMillan ? I was ok cos I'm retired but my Son in Law got a weekly payment from them to help boost his sick pay. I can try and find out what the allowance is called if you want me to. PM me if you want.
Ann

[angiepops]

hi all
looks like everyones trying to get a post in before we get swapped over to the new forum.
i have gone back to work full time, mainly because i cant get any help financially for anythiong so me being the main wage earner is hitting us quite hard. i am trying to be careful and getting rest, usually just flop in a chair and stay there for the evening, but i have to say if i could get a bit of help i would have stayed at home, its not by choice.
i know what you all mean about the aches and pains though, i'm not very bendy, its a bit of a problem at work but i'm getting away with it so far!
Amber - good luck for tommorow, hope youre getting creamed up today, the aqueos has to rehydrate the skin apparently, my tubs ready, i think i'm next week. Speed stripping eh? not long to get everything on and off is it.
Kate - Is ice cream good for the muscles, must try it !
Judy - sounds like a good night.
Mel-A - enjoy your holiday, i hear good weather for next week.
Moira - ive got speckled bumfluff on my head - but what is this eyebrow thing, like dennis healy eyebrows wow, arent they awful. got hairy legs too.
hi to all angels, speak soon i hope
angie xx

[Spikey]

HELLO ANGELS
SORRY THIS IS ALL CAPITALS BUT I AM ON MY PHONE AS I HAVE NO WIFI ACCESS IN SOUTH CORNWALL! I HAVE BEEN READING ALL YOUR POSTS AND FULLY UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE TIRED MUSCLES, WE WALKED ABOUT 5 MILES ON FRIDAY AND IT TOOK ME ALL OF YESTERDAY RESTING TO RECOVER.....THE SUN IS SHINING TODAY SO WE WALKED TO.THE NEXT BAY FOR SUNDAY LUNCH AND NOW SITTING IN THE COTTAGE RESTING BEFORE HEADING OUT FOR ICE CREAM!!
HOPE ALL YOUR S/E'S START FADING SOON, GOOD LUCK FOR.ANGELS STARTIBG RADS THIS WEEK, I HAVE ANOTHER WEEK OF HOLIDAYS BEFORE MY RADS PLANNING SO I HOPE TO HAVE MORE STRENGTH IN MY MUSCLES BY THEN.
KATE
X

[Amber_D]

Afternoon Girls,
Hope you're all enjoying a nice sunny day!
Judy, sounds like you had a lovely time on Fri night any excuse for a few wines and a sing song. Sorry you're not feeling so good, I find the leg pains the worst and it seems to be never ending, just glad there's no more chemo dont think I'd cope very well. Glad you have any early appt for mx nothing worse than having to hang about.
Mel, lucky you to be away for a few days, hope the weather is kind to you. I think the chemo has damaged all our muscles I have no strength either, it's so frustrating.
Philomena, that choc sundae sounds delicious and banana splits etc as well! Good luck with your results hope you get sorted soon.
Angie, where do you get the energy from? Seriously though be careful you're not doing too much, take care of yourself.
Lynn, nice to get the taste buds back, I can taste most things now wine being one of them.
Moira, got the white bum fluff too apparently it's called 'chemo white' and can change colour, lets hope so otherwise I'll be getting the hair dye out as soon as I have enough hair.
Sandy, sorry you're not feeling so good, hope you improve soon, take it easy and look after yourself.
Pauline, thanks for the advice on rads, guess we thought it would be a walk in the park compared to chemo. For me I think the travelling will be a biggy, 3hr round trip. I started healthy eating this week but the scales are not moving! Went out on my bike yesterday and had to give up cos my legs were so sore. Good luck with work next week.
Kim, can you ask to change your appt time to avoid rush hour! I have my first one tomorrow and am going to ask to avoid rush hour given the distance I have to travel. Worth a try!
Fecinora, good luck with BRCA results.
Debra, hang in there, you're nearly finished!

So, rads start tomorrow, 19 sessions 15 plus 4 boosters. Must say Iam not looking forward to the travelling, but at least my oh is here for the first 8. I have been allocated a 10 min appt to get undressed, put in position, zapped and dressed again.
Lori have you started rads?
Good luck to all this week whether on the chemo train or sunbed sessions, hope s/e ate minimal, take care Angels xxx

[Judyd]

Hello ladies, philomena, I'm so sorry I missed you on Friday in Scarborough, i have been feeling like crap! The worse thing now is the arm and leg pains, I think they call it peripheral neuropathy and from what I can gather it can last from months to sometimes years after chemo, especially with the docetaxol, I really hope not. I'm hobbling about like an old lady, stairs are just a killer both going up and down. My finger ends are numb and I think I've got 3 nails where the nail ends have all gone white as if they're lifting off the nail bed. My finger nails are all bumpy too, they look awful. My hair doesn't seem to be growing, it's been stuck at about 4mm for the last week or two. i have a few really dark and long eyebrows coming through as well which look really silly.
ive got my letter through for the mastectomy, I've to be at the hospital by 7.30 am so hopefully that means they will get it over and done with quite early.
philomena, my sister has started the procedure to have the BRCA testing, I think it takes a few months to get the results through, I know she's filled all the paperwork with the family history she knows of. I suppose it's good news that your CT scan hasnt changed, at least there's no damage from the chemo, fingers crossed with everything, it must be such a worry for you. You seem to be having fun in Yorkshire anyway.
i think I'm getting over the see food and eat it syndrome, hopefully it might start having an effect on my waistline as the Billy Bunter look is not something I want to keep from all this.
Mel, it sounds like your having a good time, I think I would have hired a mobility scooter for the Trafford centre, all those lovely shops, wouldn't want to miss them.
Angie your putting us all to shame, working away as you are, your made of stronger stuff than I am, that's for sure.
lynn I don't drink but on Friday night they had a fundraising party at my mum and dads old folks home, in aid of breast cancer, so we had to go along and support it. Me and my mum drank a full bottle of wine between us. I was singing along to all the old songs, it ended with an auction, we won a pink red or dead pinny which my hubby wore for the night before handing it over to his mum later in the evening. I slept very well on Friday night and no hangover yesterday morning.
hope you all have a lovely day with minimal s/e, take care, judy x

[Mel_A]

Hi everyone,
I'm first up today in the caravan at Hayling Island (near Portsmouth). We're here until Thursday evening, but have to go back for a family wedding on Friday. It's so nice to have a change of scenery. I need to build up my leg muscles now as I went to the Trafford centre for a dress on Thursday and only managed a handful of shops within a small area as I was too tired to walk round. I did much better on Friday at Warwick castle, but had to stop for a few rests. I'm hoping to be doing much better by the end of the week before I start rads. I didn't get my start date before I came away so I'm assuming the planning meeting will be the week I get back.
Philomena I hope the CT scan and bcra results come back ok and everyone else getsthrough their SEs quickly. Good luck to anyone who might be having chemo or starting rads this week.
Mel xx

[Philomena_b]

Evening Angels,
Well managed to get to Scarborough today despite the terrible forecast, it only started raining as we left. Searched all the faces to find our Judy, hoping you were hanging about there! Got to go in the harbour Bar and had the most amazing choc nut sundae. My 12 year old had never been anywhere like it and has vowed that she will open one in Norwich when she's old enough.....so we all had bannana splits, eaton messes, manderinas. Truly lush.
Now totally stuffed and off to bed, goodnight Angels xx

[angiepops]

hi girls
my goodness. we were on page 3, wondered where we had gone.
so done 4 days at work and spent most of my day off in bed asleep, i expected that though.
hows everyone doing, are the s/e's wearing off yet? i'm day 18 and the mouth thing is starting to come back which i'm not best pleased about.
moira i agree, i could have had a reduced dose but i would rather get the full benefit so i had a normal one.
lynn glad you enjoyed your wine, watch them there tast buds - mine are all over the place !
philomena - you get about a bit despite all your complications, i like donny market, did you go there.
all missing angels, hope its because you are busy and not because you arent well
take care girlies
angie xx

[LNMcG]

Hi Angels
sorry you are not feeling too good. Looks like we might not be able to post for a while from Monday. I went out for dinner tonight had a glass if wine did not taste of vinegar thank goodness Lynn x

[Mosiecat]

Good Evening Angels,
Have been busy these last few days catching up with people I hadn't seen for ages. Starting to feel normal again but I'll take your advice, Pauline and treat rads cautiously. Bit concerned that my friend's wedding is two days after the end of rads so I'm likely to have a large, sore, well-cooked boob to contend with and possibly no bra!
Had a heart stopping moment yesterday when I got a phonecall from the radiotherapy dept at Jimmy's at 8.40am. Obviously, first thought was that something had shown up on the CT scan but, no, they simply wanted to delay me a day so I'll now be starting the day before you, Kim. My appointment on Thursday is for 11.36 so you may have been and gone by the time I arrive. I'm sure that at some point we'll coincide. They only gave me my first week's appointments which is now only four because of the first day cancellation. I don't envy you getting into Leeds first thing especially saying as they ask you to be half an hour early for your first session. Mind, at least you'll have less chance of a delay that early in the day.
Got some bristly eyebrows sprouting too but they seem to be sticking straight up. At least they're brown which is more than can be said for the sparse white bumfluff on my head! And I'm now a dab hand at kohl inner lid eyeliner.
Had a pedicure this morning. My nails are all still intact but big toe nails look purple and bruised. It seems that tax really takes it out of everyone. Don't think I would have coped at all. Hope each and everyone of you gets back to good health as soon as possible.
You must be going through a worrying time at the moment, Philomena with both the heart probs and the BRCA testing. Hope it all comes good in the end.
Debra, hold your breath, count to ten and go for it - the last dose I mean. You've come this far. Don't falter at the last hurdle. I was offered a reduced dose for my last one but decided to go for the full one. Now, if it comes back again I can't beat myself up for not doing everything I could. If you're feeling really bad perhaps you could have a reduced dose rather than none.
Off to cook dinner now. Would be more enthusiastic if I had some working salty taste buds but not long now...
Moira xxx

[Philomena_b]

Afternoon Angels,
Im writing this on the A1. Stuck in a traffic jam by Doncaster? Thanks you girls for all the good luck wishes! I went for the echo this morning and the lady said it hadn't changed much from pre chemo one,so will have to wait for the results from CT Angio, the meds seem to work anyway.
Pauline my MIL has one of these plate things so might have a go over the weekend 🙂
Sandy of course I will have an extra portion of fish, chips, mushy peas and tartar sauce for you you, it would be rude not to! Also you can now have the scarfe and crystall ball with you healing tears, you far n more deserving than me lol.
hope you all have a good weekend Angels with minimal s/e xx

[PrimroseHill]

Thanks Angels for your encouragement. Managed to drag my sorry ass of the bed to the computer to read your posts this afternoon. Its so good to have friends who understand.
Philomena - Could you have some fish n chips for me in Whitby with lots of salt and vinigar. Oh and a touch of tartare sauce on the fish. Yumy. Have yukky mouth and can't taste a thing so you'll have to do it for me. Lets hope they get your heart troubles sorted out asap now your under a cardiac team and your daughter truly does get spoilt rotten at grannies.
Pauline - Have you got all your taste back now youve finished chemo and is the feeling of hunger always there still or is it subsiding? My wilpower for diet and excercise won't be brilliant if im hungry like i am now.
Debra - Go for that last CMF. I still have one more Docetaxol too and OH is going to have to drag me kicking and screaming. But go I will just to make sure i've given it my all and given it a good kicking for him and my family and friends. All the best sweetie.
Fecinora and Philomena - Whatever the results are for BRCA testing I hope for you it is in the knowing that matters and how you can help others avoid this horrible experience.
Judy - How are you doing?
Kim - Your rads start on my birthday so will be thinking of you. Pleased the planning meeting went well.
Mel - Hope your eyes are better soon. You could go into healing. I gave my mum a hug the day after chemo and I had been crying. My wet tears washed a small raised mole on her face that she has had all her life. She rang me a couple of days later to say it had dried and peeled off.
Losing the will again. Time for another dose of paracetomel, power nap and dribling form the mouth. Have a good weekend Angels. xx

[Guest user]

Morning Angels, hope you are all well. Diet and power plate sessions going well, have done 3 PP so far and def feel as if it's doing me some good. Every muscle and wobbly bit is getting a workout without me having to do anything - fab 🙂
Going for dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow to catch up with friends then into work on Monday for lunch and a catch up, good to feel 'normal' for a bit albeit still getting really tired as the day goes on. Nails - BC nurse said there is nothing really that can be done. I've got my dodgy ones in plaster in the hope that the new growth will be ok and I can keep filing them down until the bit that is lifting is gone - wishful thinking I think!
Work - Plan fro me is to start ramping up a bit from next week. I can work from home so very lucky in that respect but intend to take it very slow and not over commit as I know how easy it is to get dragged back into the rat race. Word of caution for all those going onto rads. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake compared to chemo and I think from a daily s/e perspective it probably is however, I have spoken to a few people now who have advised you can be totally wiped out during rads and for a good few months after. Think we really need to take care on the work front! Angie - well done going back but try not to overdo it Mrs!
Philomena - hope you get sorted by the cardio team, what a pain your back and forth to hospital. Keep your chin up 🙂
Mel - had to laugh about the plummer, I answer the door bald all the time and at the moment I look like a gooseberry with white fluffy spikey hair - will def need to reach for the dye as soon as I can! Kim - I can also see the start of some eyebrow growth, can't wait for the lashes now!
Judy / Sandy - hope you pick up soon and Debra, you're nearly there girl!
Have a good weekend Angels, hope the s/e's are minimal and the sleep fairies are kind
Love Pauline xx

[KimG]

Hieveryone
I had my rads planning meeting today. The whole experience wasn't as uncomfortable as I was expecting, and the tattoos are a lots smaller than I thought they would be. Moira my rads appointments start on Thursday 29th August at 9.24 (not looking forwardto negotiating Leeds city centre in Rush hour!) what time is your appointments? if they are in the morning we could meet up 🙂
Philomena - Sorry you are having to spend so much time in hospital at the moment, hopefully the cardiac team will get you sorted soon. I also assumed I would be called for my first routine mammogram within a couple of months of turning 50......I'm still waiting and I was 52 in June! I wrote a letter to the breast screening services last week asking why I hadn't been called, I'll keep you posted on their reply.
Sandy and Judy - hopefully the SE's will have started to subside by now.
Debra - hang in there you are on the final leg now.
Angie - Well done on going back to work :). You must be really tired at the end of each shift.
by the way - my eyebrows have started to grow back yay 🙂 🙂
kim x

[Philomena_b]

Hi Fecinora, love th name by the way.
I am seeing the genetics team On Tuesday for BRCA 1/2 testing. My surgeon made the appt. as my mum and first cousin both had BC. Like you I always felt I was at risk but constantly told by " the professionals" that I wasn't. I was due my first mammogram at 50 but the way they do it here in Norfolk is by GP surgeries, unfortunately my sursgery began with a T! I phoned the clinic and they would not move as this was how it was done! I eventually had my first mammogram just before my 53rd birthday.I discovered my lump 2 weeks after my 54th birthday. I did complain to the health authority as I felt that had it been done at the correct time my BC would have been caught earlier, but they just made excuses and said it was the best way of doing it, obviously not the best for me though. When I do eventually regain my full strength I am going to campaign for women to have there mammograms at the correct age not down to the bloody alphabet. Sorry rant over.
Debra I know your having a terrible time with your chemo, but you are nearly there. You obviously must do what you think is best, but just remember we are all here for you cheering you on your journey. Although I know that the chemo has damaged my heart, I don't regret the chemo, in fact I was glad it was found a day after my chemo finished. Had it been a day earlier they would have stopped it. I think I would have always felt short changed by not having the full course.
Well Angels we are still on that long and winding road, but the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter every day, and it won't be long before we all meet up in Manchester with our flowing locks complaining about how long it takes to do our hair and having those bad hair days 🙂 I can't actually imagine myself with hair anymore, although have fluff white fluff on my head now.
goodnight girls xx

[fecinora]

Re last post, chemo brain is causing faulty thinking - I would not have been 10% BRCA risk at 50 as I didnt have br cancer then, sorry angels, we've got enough facts to get our heads round without adding red herrings.

I was bumped off the screening at 50, told I was in the normal population for risk due to lack of females to compare in the family, only my mum and her mum, who both died of BC young (I still maintain this is faulty probability), and come direct to the clinic if I have future concerns. Phoned them when I found lump, to be told have to go via GP as last appt was too long ago, 4 weeks for 'urgent' referral, so still harbouring distrust. Now long wait for BRCA result, which will raise all sorts in my head which ever way.

Debra, you're on a different regime to me, but if its any help, my SE's varied dose to dose, so please stick with it, you're so close really.
Take care everyone xx

[fecinora]

BRCA, family history, were you offered the test?
I asked what I should be advising my niece, and my Onc referred me to the Genetics Clinic.
I have just had my appt with a Genetics Counsellor, who told me I have a 10% chance of having the faulty gene BRCA1 or 2 due to family history, so I am having the blood test for this, results take 16 weeks to come through. Niece is 19, so current advice would be screening age 35 - 50, as I had.
Would I have been offered this appt if I hadnt asked?? I was having 2 yearly screenings up to age 50 (now 54), then bumped off, as told after age 50 my risk returned to same as the normal population. Now thinking why wasnt I offered the test before, would I have got it if had known to ask, and were they wrong to bump me off the screening, resulting in no mammo until diagnosis in Feb?
Chemo brain definitely affecting my logical thinking, but now I feel very short changed, am I being rational?

[Louis]

Hello Angels,
well tomorrow is CMF day no 3 out of 4! Been depressed all day and have not got dressed. I am dreading tomorrow. The ONC has suggested that if I want to I can forgo the last CMF. I am so tempted. I have had enough now, I can't take anymore.
Mel, have you considered taking the tablets at hat are available as part as CMF, you would get fewer side effects and hair growth.
i have spent a few days away with my fiancé and I guess with tomorrow looming the anxiety is building again.
Debra.
xx

[LNMcG]

Last docetaxel day 6
Hi Angela feeling a wee but better today. Although still can't taste anything unless its chocolate or jelly fruit sweeties,, doing my waist line a world of good.
Mel I had the same problem with my eyes, I wear lenses normally and thought I had got an infection as eyes were running and sore. I went to optician he gave me a letter for my doctor to prescribe Celluvisc 0.5 eye drops solution. They have done the trick for me although it took a few days.
After reading that security asked you to take off your scarf at the airport. I thought I need to do something about my wig, because I would die if the asked me to take it off in public. I phoned my usual local hairdresser this morning to see if she could have a look at it, just had the wispy hairs that were going in my eyes and the ones at my ears made more choppy. Feeling more happy with it now. She would not take anything from Me either that was good service.
So sorry you ended up in hospital again Philomena especially when it is your heart hope they get to the bottom of it .

Lynn x

[maisiecake]

Hi angels
Philomena what a pain that you're having to spend so much time at the hospital. hope they sort you out now you're under the cardiac team. Enjoy your trip to yorkshire, we have to grab the good moments when we can, don't we?
sandy and Judy - sorry you're both feeling rough at the moment. It's horrible not being able to sleep, I think that wears me down more than anything else. I worry too about disturbing OH when I wake at night, so i try to creep downstairs without any lights, and he usually doesn't notice until morning. if I have a really bad night he sleeps in spare bed, bit difficult at mo as eldest son is back from uni so we don't really have a spare room! You never quite know who you're going to find sleeping where in the morning. It really bothered me to begin with if we slept separately, but I've let it go now because we can both only cope if we get some sleep.
My side effect of the day is eyes- they're really sore and running now. because i have to keep wiping them the skin around is sore too but I don't know what to put on it so close to my eyes. i have eye drops from onc, but they don't seem to help. tried antihistamines, helped a bit. Any ideas?
Just answered the door to the plumber who has come to fix water heater and completely forgot about bald head. He coped very well considering just looked slightly bemused, then i realized, felt quite embarassed and had to go get a scarf. Neither of us has mentionned it since, he's still here!!!!
love to all you other angels, hope everyone has a good day.
love Mel xxx

[Philomena_b]

Afternoon Angels,
Sandy and Judy, so sorry your both having such a rough time, just hoping you soon feel better.as I had the WLE I can only imagine your anguish with the mastectomy looming, but I think you are such strong characters you will take it in your stride when the time comes.
Caz, nothing like a really comfy sofa, mine has a dent in it now from all the somfy moments I've needed through this bloody long process.
Angie I truly admire you going back to work! The thought of trying to work at the moment is enough to make me swoon!
well I have been back in hospital, it would appear I just can't stay away from the place! I have continued with this bloody chest pain and after yesterday's admission I am finally under the cardiac team, so now have even more tablets to take and even more procedures to undergo! But as of Monday Im at the hospital everyday, sometimes twice a day ! Hopefully the new meds should sort out the chest pain, either way we are going to Yorkshire tomorrow to drop youngest daughter at grandparents to be spoilt for the week! Plus going to Whitby to the Magpie cafe for the worlds best fish and chips, and then Scarborough for my knickerbocker glory. would be lovely to see you Judy but understand that you are feeling pretty rough at the moment. At least if I do get admitted to hospital over the weekend, I know the food at Scarborough is good.
to all the other Angels hoping your all good, take care xx

[angiepops]

hi everyone
day 2 back to work, wow, its so hard. the aches and pains kicked in for a while today and i just had to sit and have a cuppa til it went off. i have to say ive been working with no painkillers though so tommorow i'm going back on the paracetomol and ibuprofen.
caz - your sofa sounds like just what i need!
Judy - i had mx and i dont show my OH anything, i always have a little camisole on for bed or something, i just cant do it and i dont think he can either. its worked for me so far, so i'm sticking with it. dont feel that you have to show everything if you dont want to. it is quite odd to be honest but it just has to happen to be able to get better, so i look at it like a means to an end. it doesnt help that the choice is taken away from you either. you'll get it sorted in your head though.
Amber - they sat me down before rads planning and said 'we cant see anything like cancer' so they must get asked all the time. the ct scan i had to show up the cancer was preceded with an hour of aniseed type drinks which enables them to see the dodgy cells.
so early to bed again tonight after a soak for the old creaking bones
hope everyone is well and happy.
angie xx

[CazP]

Pleased to report sofa delivered ok and was asleep on it within a couple of hours - very comfy.
Making steady progress out of worst s/e days. Went out for some girlfriends for lunch - took me all morning to get up and ready, but got picked up so driving not a worry and did manage to taste the food. Company and change of scenery very welcome. Now ready to lie down on that sofa again.
Take care angels xx

[PrimroseHill]

Judy - You really sound like your going through a lot at the moment both with Se's and like me the impending surgery and the mental scars that are bound to accompany it not to mention being hairless, nailess, Boobless (or part) and for me at least a stone heavier. Truly another scary place to be for us for now eh? When is your last Fec? I too am on senekot, Lanszaprozole, Movicol and injections for the next eight days and expect the inevitable Se's to start kicking in tomorrow sometime. Yet, ive just read all that back and have to laugh at myself. Im actually doing it. Wow I really do agree with anyone who says how brave we are. How brave we all have been and still are.
Horrible night last night. I can only blame the eight steroids for no sleep. OH worries if I get up and can't sleep too. So I just lay there in the dark as he's the one having to work. Take my phone to bed so I can at least do something, but then it makes his alarm speakers buzz so gave that up as a bad job. It's so hard to have positive thoughts in the middle of the night. Got through it by repeating Platform and Happy Dance next time. YAAAAAAY
Philomena - Wishing you all the best for Friday sweetie. Re-living your available car lapse is going to help me get to sleep tonight with a smile. xxx
Amber - How did you manage to keep your cool. I would have written cancer underneath my scarf and told him the only drugs I have on me is Docetaxol and Herceptin. Te He.
Lynn - Hows your Doce-Specticals. Must order me some, LOL.
Caz - Hope your sofa is making you feel much better.
Angie - Back to work and a bit of normality. I for one can't wait too.
Kim - Good luck for Rads tomorrow.
Rozz - M2 is a little expensive but if it works well worth it. May try a test patch on my head too. Lol.
Pauline - Well done for the excersise routines. Hope i can get into a little before surgery.
Mel - Not until the last cycle though - Im with you on the cake for now. LOL
Hope everyone else is good Debra, Fecinora, Mel A, Moira, Lori and anyone Ive missed. Lv & Hugs. Sandy xx

[Judyd]

Thank you ladies for all your words of wisdom, your right and the doctors know what they're doing, I'm just gonna have to get my head around the thought of having no boob for at least a year, hopefully it will be worth it in the end.
Todays been a crap day, aches and pains in my legs are making me walk funny. The senekot and lactulose are working far too well. My finger ends are sore and my veins in me hands and arms are sore and painfull, Plus the skins all cracked and peeling off my hands now. Oh and I cant sleep, when I nod off and end up laid down I end up with sick in my mouth and heartburn.
we went down to mu mums this evening to take her supermarket shopping and my dads like, how are you, I tell him in knackered and he's like why, you've done nothing. To say both my mum and dad have both had cancer and chemo and radiotherapy, my dads was 7 year ago, my mums 15, they both have short memories. My dad seems to remember that chemo made him feel full of beans and fit as a fiddle and that radiotherapy was ok, it just made him a bit tired, I'm thinking... I Wish!
I say to my kids, I hope your taking note about how much we run around and look after nana and grandad, my daughters like, you've no chance, I'm shoving you in a home and thats it!
Angie, you must be superwoman, going back to work, I don't know how you do it.
Amber, glad you had a lovely time, that must have been awful in the airport with them wanting to see your head, how awful for you.
kim, there's nothing better than a bit of retail therapy to cheer a girl up, you go for it.
lynn you poor thing, hope you start feeling better soon.
pauline, the nail thing sounds awful, my finger nails are all misshapen but they're not falling off. Your putting us to shame excercise and dieting, I wish I had the willpower but at the moment I'm still in sloth mode.
mel, the coffee and cakes is more to my liking, I'm with you on that one, sod the diet, it will wait till tomorrow.
fecinora hope you manage to keep your finger nails, it's not looking good for the rest of us with both you and Pauline struggling with finger nails, have you mentioned it to chemo unit to see if there's anything that an be done?
philomena, what are you like, with the car, we really ought to be given tshirts to wear to explain why we are so dizzy, its funny though! Good luck Friday, it's bad enough going through this without the extra problems your having, hope everything goes ok.
Ros thank you for the words of wisdom, it does help. By it must be nice your OH being a BC researcher, at least they have a lot of the answers or know the people who do.
Carol, how's the new sofa, hope your feeling better than you were, hopefully your new sofa is lovely and comfy and you are giving it a thorough testing.
Moira, you made me laugh, asking a for a peircing as well as a tattoo, glad it went ok though.
Mel-a I think you've hit it on the head, I think so long as OH is ok with how I look after the MX then I will be ok, I'm just not looking forward to seeing it myself and I'm not looking forward to OH seeing the scars either. But there's nothing I can do. I just wish they'd never mentioned immediate reconstruction then I wouldn't have been expecting to have it. There's nothing I can do though so I'm just gonna have to get my head round it.
well I'm gonna try and nod off now, hope you all have a good day tomorrow, take care, .. Don't work too hard Angie

[Amber_D]

Evening Angels,
I've been trying to catch up on all your news, so much been happening. There are so many of us now had our planning meetings and will be starting Rads soon.
Pauline, good news on your scan, was it a CT? I thought the scan at the rads planning would have been more detailed so am going to see if I will be getting another full scan or not. It's definately a peace of mind thing that we all need and it's only natural to become more aware of every pain or niggle.
Judy, sorry about your news on the reconstruction but I guess they will do whatever is best for you.
Angie, back at work, i admire you, you go girl!
We had a lovely time in Poland and I even managed to walk a fair bit which was remarkable since the day before I left I couldn't even pack the case. I rested frequently and managed to sip a beer whilst doing so lol. My taste buds are returning and although still very tired and aching legs getting better. The wedding was excellent but omg so much food they have a zillion courses.
A heads up airport security etc for those planning to get away soon. I was at passport control in Frankfurt when it he guy at the desk spoke to me in German, twice I told him I didn't understand him then he rudely told me to push back my scarf, I explained I had no hair and lifted it a little he then grunted and waived me on. On the flip side, whilst queuing at security in Gdansk yesterday I was asked to remove my scarf, when I said I had no hair the guy spoke to his colleague and then waived me through no problem.
Congrats to anyone I've missed arriving on the platform and good luck to any on the chemo train this week, I've lost track now. Sorry for not mentioning everyone but hope all is good, best wishes to all xxxx

[angiepops]

hi all
i went back to work today, so far so good, its so nice to be back in the 'normal' world. veryone was lovely, i did all my normal jobs, sorted loads of stuff out that didnt get done while ive been off, it was great. i expected to flag and come home early, which i can do if i want, but i didnt need to so i'm well chuffed.
kim - the rads planning was nice, the girls were really good at explaining everything, i was worrying for nothing, hope yours goes well.
Lynn - poor you, that aches and pains is just something else isnt it. i get it in the hip/groin area, what a killer!
pauline - wow, power plate ? is that exercise? not doing any of that yet! good for you.
Mel - you're a very social lady arent you, off for cakes and coffees, hope you felling better and can taste them all.
Anne - theres no end to it is there, the fingers and toes thing is just the biggest pin, turns you into a wreck, cant get up or down, pick things up and all that. soon be stopping i hope.
Judy - i can understand the disappointment at your surgery, i had no choice, they didnt tell me til after that i could have had immediate recon, but now i'm glad that everything is getting full on treatment first and the added extras will come afterwards when i'm fitter and mentally better as well.
moira - they all told me its a doodle after what chemo does. mine cant start til after 28th, has to be 28 days after chemo, so you'll be on it before me.
Caz, Rozz, mel-A, sandy - to all you poor luvvies getting s/e's, hope you feel better soon.
having a bath and early night, ready for work tommorow
angie x

[KimG]

Hi everyone
i have felt really tired since the weekend and have put this down to me doing the 10 minute solutions dvd every morning....but this morning I found my last dose of steroids that should have been taken last Friday!!! so I suspect this is the most likely cause, I popped them after breakfast and I feel fine so far, my arthritic leg is also feeling much better. I have started to use the talika again hoping that my brows and eyelashes will get a growth spurt on 🙂
Judy - so sorry you are not getting the immediate recon, but it will give you time to research the best options available for you 🙂 I am sure that once you get your head around it you will cope with the delay in your usual upbeat way 🙂
Angie/Moira/philomenaPauline - glad the rads planning went well, hope mine goes as well on Thursday 🙂
I have been on yet another retail therapy trip....my OH claims this is concrete evidence that I am getting back to my normal self.....I have no idea what he means.....me spend money.....never lol
hope you all have a great afternoon
Kim x

[LNMcG]

Docetaxel should have said I think I need new spectacles.lolx

[LNMcG]

Last dose spectacle day 5
HI Angels been reading all your posts you keep me going. I've had a terrible night why does it always seem so much worse in the middle of the night, when no one else about or awake. I started yesterday thinking I had cracked it got the pain under control only for it all to go to pot. Only thing keeping me going is this is the last time I hope. Hope you are all feeling better than me. Sorry can't type no more wrists too sore. Lynn x

[Guest user]

Morning Angels
Also had rads planning session yesterdsay, all went well and rads due to start on 27th. Started diet yesterday and 1st power plate session this afternoon!
I too am still quite achy in legs and arms but I'm hoping the power plate will get the muscles moving and help sort that out - added bonus of no exercise on my part 🙂
Fecinora - one of my nails looks like it's coming off - I've got a plaster on as it keeps catching on things and is very tender (as are a few other nails) - not sure what to do about it??
Judy - sorry to hear your not getting your recon, can imagine how upsetting that news must have been but sounds like your Onc is doing the best thing for longer term.
Sandy/Philomena - my scan was done at a private hospital as this is who my insurance company deals with. It does give peace of mind and I have had no word yet from Ins about paying any excess albeit I was expecting and happy to pay the £150 excess for peace of mind !
Angie - glad you had a relaxing rads planning session 🙂
Hope everyone else is doing well
take care Angels
Love Pauline xx

[maisiecake]

ECMF cycle 5 day 19
Hi all,
wow you've been busy posting! se's are reducing a bit for me now, and I've got nearly 2 weeks to next infusion so hoping to be feeling better.
Sandy- I've got numb fingers and toes too. seems like this is happening to lots of us. hope it goes after, it's a bit incapacitating when it comes to typing, knitting etc- the fingers not the toes!
Judy- sorry about the delay for your reconstruction. You just get your head round something and it changes! you've been so strong about your hair I'm sure you will get through this too.
Moira- glad rads planning went ok- don't wear that poor dog out!
Carol- hope you feel better today and are reclining in style on your new sofa.
Roz- thanx for telling me about backache, always reasuring to know it's 'normal'.
Philomena- You made me laugh about the car. I can't find the keys to mine let alone the car. Good luck on Friday, hope the news is reassuring.
Fecinora- i have a friend whose toe nail fell off 6 weeks post chemo.... does it ever end?
love to everyone else, have a good day, minimal ses, minimal worrying, lots of pampering yourselves! I'm off to meet a friend for coffee and sod the weight I'm having the most extravagent cake I see.
love Mel xxx

[fecinora]

Last tax 3 weeks ago, and both fore finger nails starting to detach - whats that about?? Who remembers the remake of The Fly with Jeff Goldblum? Well, thats what I feel like, a horrible fascination watching my body metamorphacise.....
Sore numb feet still there too. I had the shooting pains in toes at night during early FEC and Tax.
Philomena, good luck on friday, I hope you get some answers.
Off for an early night, best wishes everyone, on or aff the train xx

[angiepops]

hi all
had rads planning, lovely girl explained that the scan is to look where to zap so they miss the right bits and hit the ones that might turn dodgy. got tattoos, it was so comfy i almost fell asleep much to my surprise, i was expecting to be in pain with the mx arm.
They will be ringing me in a couple of weeks to go in, so i'm off back to work tommorow.
hope you are all well
angie xx

[Philomena_b]

Good evening angels, well I thought that at 2 weeks post chemo my chemo brain had now gone..... Wrong! I have just popped up to the petrol station and completeted my purchase followed by a very frightening looking youth complete with facial tattoos. Went to get on my car, only to realise it wasnt my car with was this lads, I burst out laughing and fortunetly so did he, asked me if I was ok. Fortunetly the scarf must have been the clue. My car is a big silver PC his a tiny little silver car, brain function nil.
Sandy sorry to here you are still suffering, you will soon be joining us 🙂
Judy, sorry they have moved the goal posts for you, but it's important to get the best results with minimum s/e. your a very strong person and am sure you will soon make sence of it all.
pauline glad you had a good result, thinking I may go for one after Christmas, again to put my mind a rest. People call it paranoia, but I think with all we have been through I think we are all justified in wanting some reassurance.
Moira glad your rads planning went well. They said the dame to me as far as s/e are concerned. I will be glad of that as this last 2 weeks I have found ipretty rough. I can still barely talk, although no sore throat voice will give it a few more days then will go back to GP and ask for a referral.
Caz, hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Roz, Im also up for M2, where do you get it? I'm very jealous of you ladies with eyebrows. Funnily all mine on the left side turee white a couple of years ago when I was in Oz, I now have 3 very black eyebrow there now? There so thick I'm inclined to pluck them out!
I have my echocardiogram on Friday so will find out the full extent of the heart damage, really want to know on one hand and dreading it on the other! I have been put on GTN spray and have had to use it a few times now, which is a bit scary. I'm a typical nurse, find it very easy to explain all these things to my patients, but it's a whole different thing when they happens to you. To anyone I have missed apologise, I'm now going to tattoo my car registration on my hand to try and prevent any further occurrences xx

[Rozz]

Snap! Tingly fingers, aching legs, sometimes backache, wobbly knees. Definitley the tax.
Sandy - the “M2 Beaute” is only available in Harrods in the UK, I got mine online. Unfortunately its very expensive – over £100 but I used it daily for 4 months and still have a lot left – and it works! (unless you have chemo, of course!)
Judy – you were given the same advice as I was, and as OH is a BC researcher he also knows a few breast surgeons too so I got the same advice from several sources. Recons can be done at the same time as the mastectomy, but the rads can affect the skin and cause complications later on. This, and the fact that MX + recon would delay chemo as there’s a longer recovery time, made it an easy decision to delay the recon for me. I can’t pretend that the MX and after effects are a pleasant experience (drains were horrid, lymphedema is an ever present threat and I don’t like looking down and seeing a gap/shadow,) but I know I’d feel a whole lot worse if the tumour was still there! The bras I found are really clever and I can still wear practically everything I wore before; I’m happy to wait until after rads before planning my new bionic boob! I did have a bit of a weep for my lost “Pinky” (the left one is smaller so is “Perky”) but I reconciled myself pretty quickly and as its not noticeable to the outside world it is easy to just carry on and I more or less forget about it now.
Carol – sorry to hear you’re feeling rough – not a good time to be without a sofa! Hope the bath helps & you feel better soon (you will, you know!) not sure about senakot and lactulose tho’ – may be an explosive mix!

Roz xx

[CazP]

Had a really rough day today, didn't know where to put myself. Also having new sofas delivered tomorrow so not even got anywhere comfy to sit - so resorted to lying on the bed.
Got my rads planning appointment through for 4th Sept, good to hear from the angels going through this right now.
Right then - off for a bath, paracetamol, senokot, lactulose, ranitidine and difflam - after all that hopefully some sleep!! 🙂
Carol xx

[Mosiecat]

Well, just back from my rads planning and not half as bad as I thought it might have been. Met with head onc to sign my life away then went through to strip to waist, lie in a not too uncomfortable position while two young ladies treated me like Bernie the Bolt (you younger ones won't know what I'm talking about), then twice through the doughnut - did they get it wrong first time - and finally a nice young man gave me three tattoos. I asked him if he would give me a nose piercing at the same time but he just smiled and said no. Got my first week's appointments starting on 27th straight after the bank holiday. Radiographer said this would be a walk in the park compared to chemo. Please let her be right.
Hope it hasn't been too traumatic for you today, Angie, and that you've come away feeling reassured. I reckon we're all going to suffer some degree of paranoia over the coming years. A friend of mine who had a lumpectomy and rads 7 years ago says she still has sleepless nights when it comes round to the annual mammogram. Think she took prozac for quite some time afterwards too but that might have been because of the tamoxifen.
It must be harder for you Angels who are still on the poison while a fair number of us are moving on to rads. Each of us has our own individual treatment plan. We just have to hope that all the oncs have got it spot on.
Sorry to hear your options re reconstuction have been limited to none for now, Judy. Another mental mountain to climb.
Time to walk the dog - part of the new fitness routine. We just about keep pace. He's 14 1/2 with a heart murmur and arthritis.
Moira xxx

[Mel_A]

I'm feeling a lot better today and my temp is back down 🙂
Sandy I get a real heaviness in my thighs when walking or climbing stairs and they feel a bit like jelly at times. I think its fatigue from the chemo. I just have to do things in short spurts. I need to really build myself back up because a walk around the block wears me out. I'm sure it will wear off in time. I know of one girl who felt like that during chemo and climbed Snowdon 1 year later. If you're concerned about the pains though it might be worth giving the unit a ring for advice.
Judy it's so frustrating getting your head around something, then having to do it again. You will get through it. I found losing my boob like losing my hair. A real feeling of loss at first, worry about how my husband would take it and a bit self conscious at first. However, once I knew my husband was ok with it and I got my prosthesis I was fine. No-one can tell. It's amazing how quickly you adapt. xx

[Judyd]

sandy I too have the tingle and numb finger ends plus the pain in legs with any movement especially when going up or down stairs, but even just sat down I can feels the aches in my legs, i think its just the chemo.
ive been to see the consultant today regarding my surgery, im booked in for the 3rd September. I'm a bit miffed really, originally I was told I could have reconstruction straight away, but now they're saying that it will be a full mastectomy due to it being aggressive lobular cancer with removal of all the lymph nodes and that I can't have any reconstructive surgery till a year to 18 month after. She said if they put the inflatable implant in, could would be effected with the radiotherapy, and could go hard, and that the best option is to have nothing done for a year after. That way the radiotherapy will zap any lingering cancer cells and everything should be fully healed when they do reconstruction, either with belly fat, back fat or implant. I had just got my head round it, that they would do the surgery but I thought at least if theimplant was in I wouldn't be totally flat, but the thought of the chest going in and the scar for a year is not something I've got my head round yet.

[PrimroseHill]

Afternnon Angels
For some it must seem quite a while since your last chemo but i feel quiet low today. It's my next infusion tomorrow of the dreaded Tax/Herceptin. Can't wait for that platform. The oncologist is on holiday so I don't get to see anyone until my next on Sept 3rd. Normally for me this is when something goes wrong and I can't reach the right person.
The ends of my fingers seem to tingle all the time now and if I suddenly get up my legs ache big time just above the knee and upwards to my thighs. I have to stand and wait until the pain wears off which thankfully doesn't take long but I still worry. Anyone else had these symptoms.
Philomena - Can't believe Ive fought all my teenage life not to have any hiddeous tatto's that i would regret when I got older and now I can't wait to have these. Lifes a barrel aint it. Glad to hear their painless though so thanks for that and it's great to hear everything is moving on for you now. (I feel like im still stuck in chemoland).
Rozz - Where do you get the M2 from? Would certainly like to try some when chemo is done.
Mel A - Singing party what a good idea. Going to see what my daughter thinks.
Pauline - Great news about your scan. Did you have it done at the same hospital that your treated at. We can pay for our own here too but it's all done by the same team only we pay for it if it's not part of our plan. May look into the cost just for peace of mind once surgery is over.
Kim - Hows the OH's cake coming along. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM.
MelA - Glad youre ok and havn't had to go in.
Lynda and Angie - It's beginning to sink in to me that the paranoia of any ache or pain is going to strike big time after this. On the up side though i should think we will be sorted out very quickly and I for one will be the first knocking on the GP's door. Surely they can't blame us can they?
Mel - I had back pain and headaches on Fec so it could be the E drug in the Fec. Now i'm on Tax/Herceptin it's all gone so has the sickly feeling. Will take a look on the Guardian site. Thanks.
Well thats my time up on the ole keyboard for now off to prepare all for my lips, tum, and bum for tomorrow. (Drugs i Mean). Te He. Luv & Hugs. Sandy. Xxx