Anyone due to start chemo in April? - Awesom April Angels

[Katebil]

Oh no Angie, hope you are okay and that things have settled down now. Hopefully 2014 will be a better year for you whatever you decide to do.

I have one more days work tomorrow before a week off for Xmas and it can't come soon enough....I'm shattered with all this work! I've also had my eyes tested and now have to wear glasses for both long and short distances whereas 18 months ago when they were tested I had 20/20 vision so chemo and tamoxifen haven't done my eyes any good! Hope no one else is having the same problems.

Hope everyone is okay and looking forward to a peaceful and happy christmas

Kate

x

[Mel_A]

Hi everyone
Angie I agree - we are awesome. We've all just got through what has probably been the toughest year of our lives. If we can survive8 that we can survive anything. I know what the nurse means about changing as a person. I've changed. I've become more sentimental in many ways, but tougher at work. I'm making sure I get my breaks and I'm doing an hour a day less than I used to. I've figured that if I don't look after me no-one else will. I'm also taking more care over my appearance now - I still wear make-up every day, which I never used to and I dress more smartly. There's nought like chemo to make you image conscious I suppose 🙂
I am sorry to hear about your family troubles though Angie and Judy. I wonder if some of the tension could also be related to the stress of this year as it isn't easy to see your loved ones suffer and our own fears and anxieties are probably just as painful for our families. It's just a thought.
I really do hope things work themselves out for you both.
Mel - keep your chin up. You've had it rougher than most of us this year. It's bound to take its toll. You will come through it - 1 step at a time eh?
Love to all
Mel xx

[angiepops]

hi all

mel - i feel for you, i know what you mean, if theres nothing to worry about we seem to be able to find something. i havent been weepy, ive been angry. mainly at my oh and then when his son started playing up i couldnt cope. ive been to docs and got citalipram, wont work for a few weeks but hey ho, roll on 2014. i had an interesting chat with my macmillan nurse and she said it might not be the tamoxifen thats making me have the strange thoughts i have, maybe ive just changed, as a person, and what was ok before - isnt now. thats a scary thought - so i'm going to see what i feel like after a few weeks, hopefully i'll still be me! i do think though that we have been through such a lot this year, and if we look back its been pretty hard going, so maybe we just need more time than we realise to actually go back to our normal selves. i dont think you're the only one feeling this way, i know i certainly am spiraling on a big downer, its just not something that everyone can speak about.

judy - poor you, in the middle. my oh wont speak to his dad, he said some horrrible things to me when i was having chemo and he said that was it! he's 81 and i forgave him, but he wont.

so, update on mad stepson, he was charged with threatening behaviour and we have peace for a while because he went to england out of the way.

well ladies, just been writing christmas cards for people at work - they have all been great. when i think back i dont know if i would have managed without them all, looking back it was pretty crappy wasnt it?

dont you think we're all truly amazing awesome april angels!!

angie xx

[LNMcG]

Morning Angels not posted for a while but I have been reading yours. Angie and Judy I'm sorry to hear you are both having family problems, it probably does not make it any easier for you but I think this is not an isolated problem just ask your friends about their families , there is a problem in most families what is it they say you can choose your friends not your family. My husband did not speak to his dad for 10 years before he died. Mel sorry to hear you are so down just now. Does your council / McMillan run any talking therapies or excercise classes for people recovering from cancer. I've been going to a can move class and have found it therapeutic. Macmillian also run talking classes in some of the local library's. There is also independent charities we have cancer support Scotland who offer massage and relaxation. Google cancer support in your area. Hope you find something soon that helps you. Hope all you other Angels are doing ok. Not heard from some of you for a while, probably all too busy at this time of year. Hope you all enjoy it the best you can. Take care Lynn x

[Judyd]

Oh Angie I'm so sorry that you are going through all this crap with the family, just what you could do without at this moment in time. I hope you can find a solution to it all.
Mel, you sound like your going through the mill too. I think we just have to accept that we have good days and bad days. Personally I do think the tamoxifen makes us feel vulnerable and tearful at times. I hope today is a better day for you.
I met with my BC nurse last week to be measured for a silicone stick on, got a bit of a shock that I had gone up a full bra size and 2 cup sizes. But the stick on is so much better than the softie, I feel I can now cope till I have my reconstruction.
I'm in for an awkward Christmas this year, my husband has finally said enough is enough and he's not having anything to do with my dad. My dad is blind and nearly deaf and a complete pain in the bum.... A bit like victor mel Drew but ten times worse. Anyway he's opened his mouth too many times and my oh has said enough. It's gonna make it really awkward but I understand how my oh feels.
Families eh! Don't they cause us hassle at this time of year!
Hope you are all ready for Christmas, don't stress if your not.... Join the club!

[Jo_BCC]

Hi Mel,

I have put for you below the link to BCC's publication 'Moving Forward' which I hope you find helpful.  Our helpline team are also at hand if you wish to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling, they're here to support you.  Calls are free 0808 800 6000 lines open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2.

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/about-breast-cancer-care/moving-forward-resource-pa...

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

[maisiecake]

hi all you awesome angels

Rozz- glad you're getting to grips with the lymphoedema. My son is in his 4th year doing physics.

Angie- oh no not what you needed at all. You're right to take your time before making any drastic decisions- time to put yourself first?

My arm and shoulder is definitely improving now I've stepped up the exercises. I'm using the dvd in the moving forward folder.

That's the good bit now for the bad-- I am soooo depressed. I'm just weeping all over the place and have turned into one big knot of anxiety. I'm not worrying about me and the cancer coming back, i seem to have transferred it to oh and children, so I keep thinking what's the next awful thing that's going to happen? My mum died of cancer last year, I got cancer  this year- I'm so scared of what might be to come. I feel like I've got through all that crap and now I've just fallen off the edge of a cliff emotionally. i know you can be depressed at the end of treatment, plus this started 2 weeks into tamoxifen. I've been to GP who has increased anti depressants but they'll take a few weeks to kick in. I hope they work because I can't cope with feeling like this. I'm dreading xmas and I feel really bad that I'm not just full of joy having finished chemo. This is the worst I've felt through the whole thing- I could understand if I'd just been diagnosed.I'm 6 weeks post chemo, has anyone else felt like this? sorry to winge but I'm rock bottom just now.

love Mel xxx

[PrimroseHill]

Oh Angie. Poor you. Police? Really?????? You really shouldn't have to put up with any more emotional turmoiI. I hope things improve for you soon sweetie.

Amber - How i giggled. The fry up I was refering to was the Rads. Lol. Every time the machine makes that buzzing noise I now think of sausage, egg, and bacon and Im starving when I finally get home. You also kicked started me into getting a few prezzies wrapped for xmas and OH and I have used the rads trip to Lincoln to go xmas shopping.

Lynn - Love your hair in your pickie. What a lovely colour. Mine still looks like it's shaved but I will update my picture soon.

Mel A - Im sure the BP is nothing to worry about. I was told that any number of things can happen to us ladies post chemo for up to six months or more. Mine is still low white cell count although they said it would slowly get better. It is, but in very small incriments.  It is high enough now for me to restart the herceptin (just) but they are going to wait until after Rads and this is my last week. yaaayyyy.

I do seem to see a light at the end of the tunnel now but daren't rejoice just in case it's whipped away again.

Mel - I hope it's not frozen shoulder I have read about that. I really hope it resolves it'self soon.

Rozz - I see my oncologist in Feb too. I have just started having broken sleep too and I don't know whether it's Tamoxifen kicking in or the Rads. I suppose i'll soon find out.

Got to go. I hope everyone else is good and looking forward to Christmas. Lv & Hugs Sandy. xxxxxx

[angiepops]

hi all,

 rozz - it was 3 babies 2 pitbulls and a pair of psycho parents. it didnt get resolved, the police are involved and now its making me question my whole life here in this relationship unfortunately because i think diifferently about things since i was dx. the only place i feel ok at he moment is work, its normal there. my family are all cool, really good but so far away. i am thinking positive and feel quite determined that i am going to change things for the better - for me- coming up to christmas is not  a good time for making changes so i might sit on it for a while. i am reading all your posts on tablet, just dont switch on the lappy top these days!

hope youre not all spent up ladies!

and are you all being good for santa  he's watching you know!

angie xx

[Rozz]

Hi all,

I'm back with mum & dad so that's 2 weeks since my last post - this is going to be a long one!

Mel A – meal sounds great, it will be good to have the time to chat.

Philomena – hope you have/had a good time in Ireland!  We’ll be in Winterton from Sunday for a couple of days if you can rescue me from the DIY for a bit?

Mel – Fallowfield (where I lived until I was 4!) can’t be far away as I think the student residences are all walking distance from each other & the lecture places etc.  What course is your son doing?

Dates for our meet-up are Friday 4th and Saturday 5th . 

The Onicolife was recommended by my Onc (who doesn’t even recommend things like aloe vera normally!) I found the website via google, it’s a bit clunky but the stuff seems good. I have the drops & gel which I use am & pm. My nails are getting no worse, but its too early to say if it’s a great product or not.

I’m not doing well on the tamoxifen either; lack of sleep is the main problem, I’ll tough it out until I see my Onc in February & see if he can suggest anything. Not taking it isn’t an option.  It doesn’t seem to matter if I take them in the morning or evening. What I should do is keep a note of when I have flushes and when I wake up at night etc.  Maybe after Christmas…

Sandy, I felt increasingly better over my 5 weeks of rads – at the start I was considering renting an invalid scooter (seriously!), at then end I was back to overtaking people on my walks.  Everyone’s different though and it doesn’t help if you’re being sent all over the place for appointments.

Everyone seems to be having haircuts! How wonderful! I’m having mine chopped next week; too many bad hair days to go though!

Caz – I’m sure you’ll get your energy back, especially since you were so fit before.  I’ve joined a gym & I’m getting rehab advice - which means easy does it!

Angie – I hope you resolved your family problem.  I’m finding my OH thinks that now I’m back at work (4 days) I’m up to my normal strength but being at work means I need more rest!  He’s been fine though, and hasn’t tried to land 2 babies on me!

I saw the Occupational Health doctor a couple of weeks ago. He was fine, supported my phased return plan & recommended working from home sometimes for the next 6 months.  He also said I should book a holiday!  When OH and I can work out when we can both have time off at the same time.   Cyprus sounded lovely, Kate.

I saw the lymphoedema specialist on Monday; she was lovely and spent ages talking me through all the theory etc.  I’m waiting for the prescription for my sleeves & a glove for the night-time. No promises, but she was optimistic that the compression would work.  I was a bit fed up when I found out that hot baths and wine can make it worse – they’re among my favourite treats!  I’m hopeful that the sleeve will reduce the swelling and then I can just wear them at night or just when exercising / travelling etc.  Fingers crossed.

Hope you are all happy and getting healthy,

Rozz  xx

[maisiecake]

Hi all

I phoned bcn about the shoulder arm pain and she thought it was probably caused by rads which can keep causing effects for months. she suggested doing the exercises 3 times a day and taking ibuprofen for a few days, and to call again if no better in 2 weeks and she'll refer me for physio. She thought it could be the beginning of a frozen shoulder which can happen too. Does it never end?

Well done on your weight loss too, Amber- losing it slowly is supposed to be better. In the moving forward folder it suggests 1-2 lbs a week so you're doing fine. I'm trying for a 1lb a week!

Mel- a huge well done for your first full working day. You must feel you're getting back to some sort of normality. I don't think people understand fatigue unless they've experienced it- take it as easy as you can and don't get sucked back into the madness!!!!!

Buffet thing sounds great

love to you all Mel xxx

[Mel_A]

Hi everyone, 

Talking about haircuts and weightloss - what a turnaround from 6 months ago:-) I'm getting mine trimmed around the ears tomorrow too. I may follow suit Lynn and post an up to date me pic on fb too. I'll inbox you my full name. I'd also like to add everyone to my fb account if anyone is happy with that.

Sandy I hope you are coping ok with the rads and have got the herceptin v. Rads thing sorted out. I hope treatment is going well for other ladies who are still having it too - is it just Mel and Lori?

Angie I'm sorry to hear about your family problems. You've had enough to deal with this year.

Kate I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday.

Work is going ok for me. I did my first full day today and felt fine. I found last week tiring at the start of the week, but felt better by Thursday. Although my boss is being great about phasing my return so it works for me, I 'm not convinced that she really understands what the tiredness is like, nor that it will be a while before I'll be anything like right. Looking back I must have been wonderwoman to have managed what I did before! My sleeping patterns are still erratic, waking every couple of hours. I do hope it does settle after the 3 months Mel. Tiredness aside I've loved working with the kids again this week. A couple of kids told me 'I look different', one liked my earrings and one was glad I was working in their class. All made me smile 🙂 

I'll wait until the new year and then book us into the red hot world buffet if everyone is happy with that. 

[Amber_D]

Congrats on the weight loss Mel, Iam trying to but it's slow only 4lbs in 4 weeks. Have started using the i fit vibrating plate for excercise and toning, discovered its good for lymph drainage, lowering bp, bone density along with weight loss and many others. Measured myself today so will give it a week and see if there's any improvement.
I too have the aches and pains in my surgery side along with my neck and shoulders, what's going on with us. I've also had low bp, doc took bloods last week which were ok but Iam still no better so going back to docs today. Don't think there's anything they can do for low bp but worried incise tp there's an under lying problem, ugh Iam I getting paranoid!

Have a good day girls, nice weather here today 🎅

[maisiecake]

Hi girls

Kim- sounds like you had a great time- could do with a bit of sun.

Amber- building AND xmas? hope it's all done in time. Enjoy the nativity.

Sandy- it's good to know teenagers have their uses! my eldest will be back next week for the holiday. really looking forward to seeing him.

Lori- You had a chemo book????

Angie- 2 dogs and 3 babies would send anyone into meltdown! It's hard to say NO to family but you have to look after yourself first. hope it's all resolved soon.

sounds like it's haircut time for lots of you- mines not there yet but growing. Seems to be developing a sort of tufty look- am wondering if it's going curly. Haven't tried to do anything about the colour, it seems to be getting darker as it comes through but mostly grey. Wig is out a lot, good in cold weather.

I managed to see my GP (like getting an appt with God) to get some help with ses of tamoxifen and general support. I was hoping to have less tablets to take but oh well! I've gone back on lansoprazole for indigestion for now, increased anti depressant i was already on as apparently it helps with hot flushes and have got sleeping tablets to take when I can't cope with lack of sleep any more! hopefully this will get me through the 3 mnth 'settling' time on tamoxifen.

getting lots of arm/ shoulder  pain on surgery side, much worse than it was. Don't think there's any swelling, but not sure what's going on. Anyone else having this? maybe it's just using it more as I tryto do normal activities again.

I'm trying to lose some weight- just by eating healthily- and I've lost about 5 lbs. It's very slow going and there's a long long way to go.

i know some of you have asked but is there anything i'm supposed to be doing for our meet up? and what were the dates again...........

[LNMcG]

Hi girls hope you are all good. weekend was fab all mums and daughters from the mother and toddlers. I got my first hair cut really a trim round my ears and fluffy bits from my neck hairdresser did not take anything from me. She was so quick . Old friends and family makes you realise what is important though. Got my daughter to help me put a photo on Facebook now every one knows what I look like was a big step, but pleased I did it are any if you on FB I would like to add you as friends but I would need your surnames to do that only if you would like. Take care Lynn x

[Amber_D]

Pauline, where are you........hope you're ok x

[Amber_D]

Evening Girls,

Been wrapping prezzies trying to get in the Xmas spirit!
Angie, they are so selfish after what you've been through this year you don't need the hassle or added pressure, stick to your guns girl!
Kate glad you had a lovely holiday, nice boost before winter sets in.
Lynn hope you a good weekend and a few drinkies
Can, have you tried a Chillow for the hot flushes? I bought one whilst going thro chemo and it works a treat.
Diggy, I have the pain in my neck and shoulders, was starting to get a bit worried tbh
Sandy, the thought of a fry up made my mouth water mmmm

We're still in recovery girls so it's ok to have meltdowns I dare say there will be a few more before we start to feel anything like normal. I find sometimes I can be very matter of fact then others the slightest thing can set me off. Most of the time I take no prisoners and say what I think now, don't know if that's good or bad!

Had reflexology at Clan today so that was nice, Iam booked in for a treatment every week until end of Jan. Have any of you tried the Aqua Detox, it's lovely and the colour of the water at the end is omg but gets rid of toxins so good. It was 13 degrees today amazing since it was 1.5 on Sat.
Work in the house on hold for a couple of days, waiting for bifold doors which should have been here last Fri, still aiming to be finished for Xmas. Eldest granddaughter's nativity on Wed, do so love this time of year, the kids are so sweet. Hope that horrible woman who asked me to remove my hat is not there, if she is I'll be ready for her this time! My daughter was speaking to the Headmistress the other day and mentioned the incident and she was appalled.

Anyway have a lovely evening, Iam watching the Royal Variety. Take care, hugs to all 🎅🎄🎁

[PrimroseHill]

Kate - It's really good to hear you have had a good holiday. I think Rozz has already booked some rooms for us.

Lynn - How did the Christmas party go. Im with you on the xmas card thing in that I have even more good people to write one for now. I can't wait to start feeling a little fitter now either.

Carol - Thanks for letting me know that E45 cream is ok.

Diggy - Hope your phased back to work is going ok.

Amber - So sorry your OH not around at xmas but lovely that you have your sister and kids. Still haven't got the decos out yet. Maybe today.

Off for my daily fry up. Hope everyone else is good and getting in the christian spirit of things. xxxx

[PrimroseHill]

Oh Angie, just what you don't need eh. My 3 teenagers joined us last week after they got too much for the ex. I put mine to work. Chris painted the bathroom, De helps with the horses, Washing etc. Wes has A levels and work so he's hardly around but he has to be tidy. 

You are soooooooo entitled to a meltdown and unless you say it as it is they aren't going to know how you are feeling. I used to shut up and put up. Not any more, and now I see the benifit of explaining quietly and slowly how Im feeling. Sometimes they just don't get that it you have been through the worst time of your life unless you write it down or draw diragrams for them. For us its worked and I really do thank God for when they help out now. I really hope things settle down for you especially for Christmas. Lv n Hugs Sandy. xxx 

[Katebil]

Good morning Angels,

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but I've been on holiday and it was lovely! We went to Cyprus and walked loads, 5 miles every other day, slept lots and just chilled in the warm sun. Pity we had to come home really!

Reading your posts about tamoxifen and waking through the night......I take menoforce sage tablets and it reduces the hot flushes, doesn't take them away but it does reduce them. I stopped taking it for a few days a couple of weeks ago and suffered with 'hotter' hot flushes so started it again and they went back to being just hot flushes that throwing the quilt onto my OH for a few minutes is enough to cool down and go back to sleep. Unfortunately they are not available on prescription.

For our meet up, either of the meal options works for me. Should I be booking something or paying someone money?

Kate
X

[angiepops]

hi angels

is it sad week......... or meltdown week........

my OH son has started a big family argument and i'm trying to keep out of it but i ended up saying a few bits and now i could kill him and his wife, ungrateful selfish pair of heathens!

i just cant be bothered with it all

they want to come and live with us for 2 weeks with 2 dogs 3 babies (eldest is 2) even though they have been offered a house to live in while theirs is repaired from a self inflicted flood. so we said, you have a house, and all hell let loose.

cant cope.

hope you are all well

angie xx

[LNMcG]

Hi Angels just catching up with all your posts. Amber sorry your oh is away for Christmas, and sandy your still suffering hope you feel better soon. Think this must be the weekend for haircuts, I am going on Saturday for a tidy up does not really need cut as such just the neck hairs need trimmed and fluffy bits at my ears. I'm just back from my sisters in Warwickshire yesterday had a lovely few days. Off to Drymen for an overnight on Saturday with my daughter my friends and their daughters for our Christmas party night hope I have the energy. I have had real problems with my heel especially first thing can hardly put weight on it but eases off as the day goes on ?? Falling apart at the seams, can't imagine feeling really fit again. Found writing my Christmas cards very emotional tears were blinding me as I wrote extra notes, thank you's for friends and families support this year. X

[CazP]

Hi Angels,

Well it had to come sometime but I had my first major meltdown yesterday when on arriving at work someone parking infront of me then reversed back out without looking and hit my car. No-one was hurt, but there was enough damage for a claim, and it was just one thing too much to deal with...

I too have been in to chat to my hairdresser and going for a trim on Sat to tidy up a few of the wayward fine ends. Haven't bothered tackling the colour yet though. Had to go for a shoulder and neck massage today - too much tension from worrying about having too much to do and poor posture from so much sitting about, I think!

Still not managing to sleep though the night but not having hot flushes - or at least nothing like those I experienced on chemo. Joints still a problem first thing, and I am still suffering from fatigue. I have to say I found radiotherapy knocked me for six, though I did drive everyday and had 25 sessions - I was on a permanent energy low. My appointments were early and I found it increasingly hard to get up and get there on time as the weeks went on! Skin held up fine - I was told e45 or aqueous was fine, but just applied it after a shower. 

Not back to much exercise as I am busy painting for an exhibition when not working, but I did feel the need to do some and went for a short walk/run last weekend. At the time felt ok, but then I stiffened up and barely had control over my legs for the next week - hilarious!

Not sure if I have missed anything re our meet up - do I need to make a booking or are we co-ordinating a block booking.

Cheers, Carol xx

[diggywiggy]

Congrats Amber on your hair cut. I popped in to see my hair dresser today but my hair is too short to need cutting yet. I am on Herceptin and still getting side effects. On a phased return to work but expected to be back full time after Christmas. Lots of pain in neck and shoulders, like when on tax. Oncologist says I am normal. I stopped taking letrozole due to see and now I am starting on another hormone suppressant (can't remember name and can't climb stairs to check!). Will monitor any new she's. I nail using nail varnish to cover my rotting nails! Oh Rozz so sorry to hear about the lympodema.
Hope the weather not too bad up north. Just a bit windy here in the south west.
Take care,
Diggy Wiggy xxx

[Amber_D]

Evening Angels,

Haven't posted for a while but read your news everyday. My house is still a building site but work going well, although was glad when the builders called off today due to the weather, mental winds and snow showers.
Sandy I had 19 rads and a 3hr round trip, found the travelling tiring even though I got lifts plus the aches and pains in my legs didn't help. I did however have no problems with my skin, I used pure Aloe Vera, remember to keep using whatever you decide for a couple of weeks afterwards as you still cook when rads finish.
Had my first hair cut yesterday, I started sprouting random curly patches so have had them trimmed to tidy it up, hair seems to have got a bit thicker too in the last few weeks. Still using Nice n Easy semi which covers the grey bits.
How's the Xmas shopping going? OH went away yesterday so felt a bit sad, I hate it when he's not here for Xmas but my sisters comming to stay and I'll see all the kids so not too bad. Two eldest grandchildren helped put up the tree at the weekend whilst we played Xmas songs. GS asked why it was all old songs and people, guess nobody does the Xmas songs now. Anyway we had fun and he was amused when I told him I was still at school when Wizzard and Slade were in the charts lol.
Been online shopping again today, what a god send can't face busy shops much better when the postie brings the parcels to me.
Have any of you been bothered with low blood pressure? Had to go to the docs this week bp very low and feeling really light headed, he took bloods so waiting for the results.

Have a good evening girls and stay warm xx

[angiepops]

hi all

sandy - i had 3 weeks of rads with very little discomfort. i did find on my last week that i was struggling, not so much tired but muscle weakness when walking. i was only 4 weeks after my last chemo so i put it down to that, but i think driving an 80 mile trip is a lot. re the scar, it didnt do much to it. re the e45 - if it has metal in it it will burn your skin. i didnt use anything except aqueous cream, i was told not to use any other cream including aloe vera . hope it goes well for you.

hi to everyone else, hope you are all well

angie xx

[lori28]

Ah Sandy you don't need that kind of stress. I think it would be wise to have the herceptin at end of rads to have to attend two different hospitals is a bit much!
The nurses at the unit I attend have carried my herceptin treatment into my Chemo book. I must admit I do feel very fortunate with all the treatment I have had and also very sorry to hear about some of the things you and others have experienced. I hope they work things out for you soon.
Lori x

[PrimroseHill]

Wow Lori - You have a book in which you keep all your stats? Seriously giong to have to demand more medical info from my hospital. All they have told me is that the wbc count is too low for me to go ahead. The other problem is that I need to be in one hospital for a blood test and for 6 hrs when I'm having radiotherapy at another hospital over an hour away in another direction.???????? I left the chemo suite and oncologist in deep dicussion but it looks like herceptin will have to wait til the end of rads. I was just too worried and exhausted and had to get out. You really do sound well sorted though. I'm not going to worry about work at all. I do feel that us ladies on herceptin are going to continue to have some side effects. One of them stated is fatigue.

Mel -  Really glad youre feeling a little better. It really is still early days for you yet. 

Judy - Thanks for reasurring me. I'm just going to keep going and see how I get on. I have 3 weeks of rads. Is that how many you had? Do you know when they can reconstruct yet? When I got my date I was over the moon. I felt nervous for the op but at the same time it really lifted my spirits. 

Lv & Hugs. Sandy. xxxxx

[maisiecake]

Hi all

Judy- it's so reassuring to hear your energy levels are back to normal!

and Sandy- I'm trying taking tamoxifen at teatime at the moment and I have slept a bit better- that's WITH sleeping tablets, which I don't really want to be taking every night. Maybe I'll try morning next!

My hair is short grey and tufty so I'm wearing wig at the moment, which is fine until i have a hot flush then I have to whip it off! I'm feeling less tearful today, which is a relief, but don't think it's gone.

have a sleeping night all love Mel xx

[lori28]

Hi Sandy,
Sorry for delayed response but I've been out all day. Had psycoligist meeting and then went in to visit work for a few hours to see everyone. I'm shattered tonight after just talking so know I'm not ready for working yet!
My bloods were taken prior to 1st infusion of herceptin I've checked my book and they were as follows;
Hb: 122
WBC: 4.7
Plts: 261
Neuts: 3.3
That was 12th Aug which was 4 weeks after my last Chemo infusion. My next bloods were due prior to herceptin no.6 however as I had taken a bleed that day and felt quite faint and because I was changing to injection and the problems finding a vein my nurse took my bloods at the end of no.5. They must have been ok but she did not write them in my book so can't tell you what those were (I'll have to get them to enter this info when I go back in)
For sure the injection is less intrusive, its quicker and now my veins can start to recover. I hope its available to everyone soon. Good luck hope you get started on it soon.
Take care love Lx

[Judyd]

Hiya Sandy, I know everyone's different but I didn't have any problems at all with rads, I don't drive but I wasn't tired or anything afterwards. It was a pain in the bum doing the 2hour trip but I wasn't tired or anything with it.
I don't do the arm excercises religiously but I still do them if my arm or chest feels tight. The cording was awful and it still have it slightly but one day it was just no longer noticeable.
The MX scar was fine during rads, my skin had a sun tanned look about it and was itchy on a night but I just slapped the aqueous cream on and it was fine. It did feel quite hot on an evening though.
I think I'm gonna go back to taking the tamoxifen on a morning cos I'm off the sleeping tablets now and I'm straight back to waking up every hour.
I'm not back to see the oncologist till the 30th December but I'm gonna ring the breast care nurse before then and see about a stick on prosthetic instead of the softie.... It's doing my head in.

[PrimroseHill]

Morning Angels

Well i'm into my 3rd day of Rads and all seems to be well apart from a little pain after where the implant port is and it itches. The only problem I have and need your advice with is that I have to attend a different hospital which is an 80 mile round trip. I feel fine at the moment driving there and back but lots of people tell me i may be too tired to do it in the last week. I remember one or two of you having to do the same. What do you think?

Also they have told me that E45 cream applied twice daily is just as good for the rad site as aqueous cream. Should I believe them i wonder,

Lori - I just wanted to ask. Do you have a blood test every time you have heceptin? Your so lucky being able to have the injection. Well done you must be ticking them off now.

Rozz - Thanks for the hotel address. Decided to stay with our Angels over the Saturday night so will book the double room for OH and I asap. 

Philomena - My hair is coming back straight, thick and black (apart from the peppered grey). It used to be a strawberry brown and curly. No eyelashes yet thought. Enjoy your visit to see your relatives in Ireland. How exciting?

Mel - Im sorry you feel bad on Tamoxifen. Are you sleeping ok. I have found that if I take it at night I'm waking every 2 hours and that made me feel tired and upset. I now take it first thing. I do get the flushes during the day but my nights are mainly free from them and i sleep alot better which has improved how I feel. I do hope your feeling better soon.

Judy - Good to hear from you and that things have settled down and your feeling ok. Could I ask if your MX scar was ok during rads? My clothes are also tighter on my right arm too but then they have been since the op. I'm also feeling more confident that the cording will improve too after hearing that yours is getting better. Are you still doing the exercises? I'm struggling to find the time to do them now with all this travelling and with everything else to do. Ah well striding forwards, (mainly to Lincoln), just hoping the weather stays ok so i can get there and back. Take care Angels. Love Sandy. xxxx

[Judyd]

Hello ladies, it's been a while since I posted but I do read all the posts, I've just had nothing exciting happening to report.
Me and my daughter had a shopping trip in Leeds this weekend though, it was fab, very tiring after 6 hours shopping, but just fab. I had forgotten how good all the shops are in Leeds. The new trinity shopping centre was great but wall to wall with people. I still havnt started my Xmas shopping though, gonna have to pull my finger out there.
Mel, I know how you feel with the tamoxifen, I wake up every two hours throughout the night with hot sweats and just wide awake. I needed up getting sleeping tablets from the doctors as it's been like this for months now, last night was the first night without sleeping tablets and I'm back to waking every two hours, this is no good! I must admit I have been a bit tearfull as well. Other than that I'm back to full health, my energy is back to normal, I'm walking every day at my normal speed, the cording has all but gone, but I still have all the extra weight. Not sure if my arm is getting bigger, I've had hubby measure it and it's ever so slightly bigger but in my clothes, they feel tighter on my surgery arm. Must admit, my body has never looked so crap.
My hair is growing, it's all grey and looks like a pixie cut, I hate it, as there's bits sticking out all over but I suppose as it gets longer that will sort itself out.
Philomena, have a great time in Ireland.
Keep your chin up Sandy! how's the cording doing now? My toe nail look disgusting, the big nails are just about hanging on but they're cracked and lifted and a horrible colour, my husband calls them troll feet! Put it this way, I wouldn't need to spend much time in makeup for a part in the hobbit with my feet at the moment!
Have you got your compression sleeve Rozz? I'd be interested to know if it helps.
Gotto go, kids getting ready for school and driving me nuts!

[maisiecake]

philomena have a GREAT time!

[maisiecake]

Hi all

I think it would be good to go for a meal where we can talk too. Rozz my son is at uni in Manchester too. He lives in Fallowfield. Is thaat near the hotel? what is oni thingy? does it help with the nails?

Sandy - so sorry your blood count is low again and about sad loss of toe nails. It just goes on and on doesn't it.

Last post I said it was all going well on Tamoxifen- well I'd like to change that to feeling crap on tamoxifen after 2 weeks now the side effects are kicking in! I feel nauseous, have hot flushes all night, and have felt increasingly depressed. Keep bursting into tears for no reason all very menopausal! I'm going to try taking it at teatime as well- have been taking it at night. Hope they settle down a bit or I think I'll be in the 30% that give up. BCC helpline suggested splitting the dose taking half morning and half at night but the tablets don't split. Have to ask for a different brand to try this.Onc said to give se's about 12 weeks to settle so looks like I'll be weeping my way through xmas. Has anyone tried a chillow pillow and do they help?

Caz- well done for going back to work, don't over do it!

love and hugs to you all and have a cool night!

Mel xxx

[Mel_A]

Have a good time 🙂

[Philomena_b]

Good evening Angels, hoping your all doing ok!
Sandy, hope your blood count comes up this week 😞 . I hadn't really thought about the comedy club, but do agree with you that we will all have so much to talk about that that the comedy club would impinge on our time. The world food sounds good as well, but to be fair I like all food except tripe!
Well my hair is growing really fast, and it's going curly..... Anyone one else with different hair. My eyelashes and eyebrows are also back to normal if not thicker, so I'm well pleased.
I'm off tomorrow to Ireland, to see my sisters and cousins. This is my first biggish trip on my own since I was diagnosed, and I'm really excited. I didn't bother with any different insurance as my yearly one covers all emergencies as does the E111 so fingers x.
Onwards and upwards angels xxx

[Mel_A]

Hi everyone

Sandy I'm sorry to hear about the problems with your blood count again. How frustrating for you! I've felt less tired since Thursday so I'm hoping some of that was due to me having a cold. I know what you mean about having time to talk if we're all busy. An alternative venue for a meal out could be the red hot world buffet. It costs £14.99 for all you can eat and they have food from around the world, so there is something for everyone. Drinks are extra. I've been a few times with the kids and really enjoy it, though it is quite a busy place. TOPS is a similar sort of restaurant, probably slightly less busy with less choice than red hot world buffet, but more biased towards Chinese, Indian and Thai food. We've been there a few times too and really enjoyed it. That is also £14.99 for all you can eat plus the cost of drinks. Let me know what you think or if you have any other ideas. I don't really go to town much so I don't know many restaurants there. I do believe there is a Jamie Oliver restaurant there, but I would expect that to be quite pricey. I've never been.
Roz look after yourself. Well done for recognising that your slipping into old habits and stepping back.
Take care Angels xx

[Rozz]

Hi Angels,

I am visiting parents today - they're both snoozing so I have some "me" time!  This is the address of Premier Inn:  72 Dale Street, Manchester M1 2HR tel: 0871 527 9390.  I have just realised the postcode is very close to my son's who is at Uni in Manchester - maybe I'll surprise him!  The info on the hotel says there's a car park nearby - probably worth investigating if you'll be driving. From the website:   "Tariff Street Multi Storey - postcode M1 2JF or Dale Street car park (open until 6.30pm)- postcode M1 2HG. Both car parks are operated by Town Centre Car Parks and discounted rates are available for guests. Car park tickets can be validated at hotel reception for discount."  

I've decided I need to take a chill pill! I think I've been doing too much and I'm back in the mindset that there's never enough time to do all the things I want to do......  I need to reassess my priorities; eating better, exercising and keeping the stress levels down are more important than ever and I'm afraid I've just been slipping back in to my old habits of not finding time for the self-supporting stuff.  So I'm giving myself a bit of a talking to this weekend.  I've been working 3 days a week and have been fine, a bit tired sometimes but managed to do some serious cleaning at the cottage last week as well (e.g. scrubbing walls after ceiling replastered!) so not surprising really.  

I've noticed some nail problems, but not as bad as you, Sandy.  Its about 6 months since I started on Tax and as the nails leave the finger they're splitting into layers and are very weak. I'm keeping them short & using the Onicolife stuff my onc recommended. I can see the nail beginning to lift away at the fingertip on one or two of them so I have been warned!  (Self-supporting stuff includes looking after my nails properly, which I have also been neglecting).  Sorry to hear you can't get your herceptin, but as others have said, be patient and you will get there. Your rocking pose sounds oddly comforting, I may try it!

I finally have an appointment to see the lymphedema specialist on 9th. My BCN measured my arm and found it was 20% bigger than the other so I will probably have to wear a compression sleeve for a while (Lymphedivas here I come!). Apart from looking a bit pudgy, it isn't bothering me too much, but I would like to have matching hands & arms, even if I have to wait a while for matching boobs!

Hugs to all, hope you are all getting more like your old selves every day!  Now I'm going to do my meditation - tho I will probably fall asleep - my parents don't seem to have to choose between heating & eating, its like an oven in here!

Roz

[lori28]

Hi Ladies,
Sorry you've not got your herceptin again Sandy, fingers crossed for next time. You'll be feeling a bit like 'yeah whatever' on hearing all these shouldn't s hang in there it'll come together for you.
I kind of agree with a few of your comments re meeting up. We'd prob appreciate the chat time during spa and over drinks and a nice meal. I am happy to go with majority and like most looking after the finances as on reduced/little pay and not sure when that will change.
Thanks for the tip re Tamoxifen at tea time I need to try that to see if I sleep any better....unfortunately I just swallowed todays while reading posts so I'll start tomorrow!
Take care all and have a peaceful, restful weekend.
Love Lori xx

[PrimroseHill]

Morning Angels,

Mel - Te He. Thanks for the blanket tip. LOL. Will pop one in the airing cupboard in readyness. I'm having to put plasters over my nails too. Im with you on the less is best with regard to finances and our meeting up. 

Im worried that if we all head for spa's, the comedy club, and meals in different places, we may miss each other and won't have time to meet and talk to each other properly. When Philomena and I met, two hours felt like 5 mins. 

Caz - It's lovely to hear from you. I think your all very brave on the work front daunting as it may seem.

No Herceptin again due to another low count. The oncologist came to see me and told me my body is still recovering from the chemotherapy and surgery. I start radiotherapy on Monday and she assures me that RT shouldn't the effect the blood count and so i'm to have another test on Wednesday. (Really don't trust the word "shouldn't" anymore the surgeon also said that RT shouldn't effect the expander implant). Too many shouldn'ts for my liking. On a good note she had a look at my toe nails and said that ive picked up a fungal infection to the nail beds when they had just started to recover after chemo (must have been the pool), and this is happening to where the new nails are growing at the bottom of my now flapping, broken old ones, so we put curinail on it last night and they don't seem so painful even though it took two paracetomel, one tramadol and OH to hold me down during the application.

Mel A - Im going to take the Tamoxifen at tea time too as I'm having broken sleep. Thanks for that tip. I wish I could help you with the tiredness. Have you had a blood test lately? Im sure my tiredness or broken sleep is due to low count and sleeping at weird times. 

All the best angels. Lv n Hugs. Sandy. xxxx

[CazP]

Hello Angels, just been catching up on al the posts I have missed as I haven't been on here for a little while. It is lovely to see/read about all the support there is for one another. Also good to know that others are going through similar experiences to me.

I went into work for a couple of hours last friday, then have done 10-2 Tues and Thurs and again tomorow. I have been so tired after being in for just 4 hours. I think it is mental as much as physical as I was quite apprehensive. Next week is supposed to be 10-4 Mon, Wed, Fri - seems daunting right now.

I too have the stiffness, aches and pains. and although I am not awake for hours at a time now I can't remember the last time I slept through the night. This must contribute to the tiredness.

I have an exhibition in January and quite a few pieces of work to make for this - however I am just not getting enough time when I have the energy at the moment so this is becoming stressful too!

Only 8.30 and I think I must head for bed. Oh to get my evenings back...

On the plus side I have lots of hair!!

Take care angels

Carol xx

[Mel_A]

Mel, since I started taking Tamoxifen at teatime instead of the morning I have slept much better. I was waking up every hour before. I still get the hiccoughs a lot when I eat and drink and have done since starting chemo, before Tamoxifen, so I think that's probably a chemo SE. The joys eh? Xx

[maisiecake]

Thanks Angels for good advice as usual. I've decided to lower my expectations to get up before midday and go for a short walk. Sandy- curling up in a corner sounds quite enticing.....I would need to complete the picture with a blanket over my head.

Mel A- take it easy if you can at work- hope you start to feel less tired soon.

comedy club is fine for me or just a meal, whatever everyone else wants to do.cheaper is best for me!

My finger nails have all peeled off very low now and are quite sore. I'm resorting to plasters on fingers- what must I look like!!

Tamoxifen seems to be going ok so far- not having any more hot flushes than I did on chemo, but still having them. wondering if poor sleep and indigestion is a side effect of tamoxifen? have lost the info sheet.

look after yourselves all, love Mel xxx

[Mel_A]

The medical bracelet sounds like a good idea Sandy. It's also recommended that you store emergency contact numbers under ICE in your phones.
Mel be kind to yourself. Like the others have said it's early days yet. I'm only doing a few mornings a week but really needing a sleep in the afternoons. Yesterday I wasn't even in and I slept for 2 hours in the afternoon and went to bed at 9. I slept for 2 hours again after work today. I hope that doesn't last!
Roz thanks for sorting us all out. Does everyone still want to do the comedy store or would you prefer something cheaper? I've not booked yet.

[PrimroseHill]

Morning Angels

Rozz, Lori is right don't beat yourself up about the bookings at all. You really are doing fab for us all and you've stepped up to the plate. (Only a week ago I could be found in a corner of the bathroom, hugging my knees, and gently rocking from side to side with my thumb in my mouth). I think we all deserve this. So it's a huge thank you from me too.

I'm going to book a double at the same Premier today for OH and I. Can you let me know which one it is Rozz. "Yaaaaaaaaaaay". JUST CAN'T WAIT. It's a two hour drive for us and I do feel for those who are having to train or fly or who have a much longer journey like Mel, Lynn, Amber, and Angie I think.

Philomena - Had a giggle over your bed head. All my aches have gone for now but I do have cording under my arm which Im doing the exercises for. I do feel the stretching and im sure it would get worse if I didn't do them. As for getting better? Not so sure yet. My big toes nails are really painful  again after the pool on holiday and the wick underneath is a pure white mixed with a little grey. Going to stick my head in the sand and paint them as I now have a pathological fear of hospitals and surgeries. 

Mel - I'm glad youre back at work and all went well. Hope you get over that cold soon. Too cold for me yet to go hatless even though I have a nice covering now.

Amber - Hope your building work is going well and you get done what you want for Christmas. Were just doing the bathroom all new suite, tiles, carpet the works. Just finishing the decorating and it looks lovely.

Mel A - I too have felt quiet low during the past month. I really hope that you feel better soon. It is early days for us yet and we have had a lot thrown at us all at once. We are still healing in all ways.

Also to lift my spirits i did a little jewelry online shopping. (BC related of course, and a necessity as I nearly let the nurse have surgery side arm for blood pressure last week). I bought a beautiful medical bracelet from ID Band which has  "Lympheodema risk No IV, BP or Needles to Right Arm" also ICE (in case of emergency) my telephone number just in case it's not only the bathroom i'm found hugging my knees, rocking, and sucking my thumb.

Thank you for your best wishes on the bloods for tomorrow. Lets hope they work. Lv n Hugs everyone. Sandy. xxxxx

[LNMcG]

Just looked up flights from Glasgow 4th April returning sun 6th £79.94 return down side only one return flight is at 8 pm. Checked trains again tickets not on sale yet for April checked same date February £76 open return from my local station. I think I will probably go for this option. Will take about the same time to travel there including traveling and waiting time at airport. X

[LNMcG]

Roz. Premier inn sounds great, and spa package. You have been great doing all the donkey work. I was thinking of coming by train had a look at prices it's £75 return thought that was pricey well seen I don't travel by train much. I will price flights might not be that much more.
Mel you only just finished your Chemo be patient with yourself some of us finished away back in August and are still not back to normal so just take it easy. Hope all you other Angels are good. Take care Lynn x

[maisiecake]

Hi all

premier inn sounds great to me and the spa package. I will be either driving or train on Friday. Looking forward to meeting you all soooo much! Rozz do we need to pay you, or pay when we arrive?

Well done Angie for getting hair out. I've just had my new wig (six month freebie). My hair is very short and it's very cold so I'm wearing it a lot now. I decided to get a grey/white wig as I will have to get my now white hair out at some time. Actually I think it really suits me- always knew I was  an old lady at heart. will try to put a pic on, but haven't managed this yet.

Saw onc last week. He said rash on breast was a chemo se, and was only affecting one breast because it was more susceptible due to rads.gave me hydrocortisone cream. Now the rash has gone but the itching is still there and driving me mad. Also still have indigestion/heartburn. i keep trying to give up the lansoprazole and having to take it again.

Philomena- I seem to be having more pain and stiffness in my surgery arm now than I did for months after op. I do the exercises but it doesn't seem to make much difference. It feels like it's slowly seizing up!

On the bright side surgeon has refered me to plastic surgeon to see what can be done about the hole I've been left with where the tumor was. And started counselling to help deal with my many issues!

I went to a bcc meeting about signs and symptoms of recurrence. It was very informative and felt quite uplifted to begin with, then felt a bit down thinking about the possibility of the cancer spreading. Don't know if it was a good thing or not.

onc said not to expect to start feeling better for about another 3 weeks and I definitely don't! follow up in 3 months if no problems- is this what everyone is having?

Sorry to be glum, but feeling sorry for myself tbh

love Mel xxx

[Amber_D]

Rozz

Thanks for sorting that out, Premier Inn absolutely fine and the Spa deal sounds great too. I'll be flying down so will just get a taxi. Can you just confirm what the dates were again (chemo brain lol) so I can look at booking my flight.
Have a good day girls, freezing cold and raining here xx