Ah Diggy so sorry to hear about your Mum, so very sad. Thinking about you. Have a safe journey, take care & yes we will see you very soon, love Lori x
I think your doing the right thing by letting them know tomorrow exactly how you feel. They may not be able to help first hand but can probably refer you to someone who can put your mind at rest. If you don't manage to see your consultant when you have your mammogram then give the breast care nurse a ring and talk to her.
Everyone is different and we all progress in different ways.
I have found it very helpful to talk with the hospital psychologist who is based in our oncology unit, she as well as my GP have helped me to get things into perspective. I wasn't keen on taking the anti-depressants at first but I'm now on 30mg Citalopram a day and they are helping, although I still feel anxious some of the time I'm not going down the path that left me with similar feelings as you are experiencing. I think all of us will experience this to a degree with every ache and pain, its completely normal.
However, It is very important to get the help you need to make sure your mind is in the right place to help you deal with your feelings.
Don't be hard on yourself, and don't be put off seeing someone you feel comfortable with. I hope you get on OK tomorrow and its not too stressful.
I had my first year mammogram about 4 weeks ago, the results came through clear, no changes based on comparison to year before so fingers crossed we will all have better times ahead.
Positive thoughts coming your way!
Take care love Lori x
I have my first year mamorgram tomorrow morning and for the past week for some reason I feel im back in the dark woods again. Keep crying all the time and im convinced the constant middle back ache I have is the cancer back again and there going to find it or want another scan or something.
I just can't get out of it. Also to make feel better I looked up Michelle Williams-Huw (the true diary of a breast cancer survivor) to see how she was getting on as i had read her book. Big Mistake.
My sister in law also had a go at me last week about mentioning who I did or did not prefer at the doctors. She started working there this time last year after passing exams and her husband then told me that under no circumstances was I to ask for her. Ive been at that practice for years before she started with no problems at all now I just feel like I can't go there anymore and that's scary after what ive been through.
Anyway OH is coming with me to the hospital tomorrow and im going to tell them how im feeling in the hope they can help in some way. I'll let you know how I get on. xxxx
With regards knowing each other I think we're all gonna be that pleased to be meeting up we'll be the ladies with the biggest smiles...😁
costa's is fine for me too- see you all there. Do you think we'll recognize each other? Think I need to try to put a photo on again!
Mel - Confirmed as far as I can tell for the hotel is: Diggy, Kate, Lynn, Lori, Cazp, Mel, Philomena, Sandy & Geoff and you and Rozz of course but I can't remember if you had rellies that you are staying with or the hotel. So far not including yourself that makes 10 for the hotel taking 5 rooms.
Really sorry if i've missed anyone or if there is anyone yet to confirm. Sandy. x
Hi Mel, that's great!
Yes we can meet at Station no problem.
I was just saying to DiggyWiggy earlier by text....'be nice for us to meet at the station' since we all welcomed each other at our virtual platform on-line at the end of treatment!!
Looking forward to meeting you all
just been catching up with arrangements. My train arrives at manchester at 3.38pm. can I meet up with you all too? I'm happy to do meal, spa, anything!! very jealous of all the new hair colours, mines still grey. Maybe I'll colour it before we meet up- if only I could decide on a colour. Still struggling with s/es and so on. ah well!!
love Mel xx
Not posted for a bit but I try and keep up with what's happening. I will definitely be coming to the meet up in Manchester - haven't booked my train yet but will look today and see if I can get one that arrives 3-4ish to co-incide with a number of you.
I would be interested in the spa day if a few others plan to do this - but ok if the general feeling is not to..
Am a bit up and down - physically and emotionally, but definitely moving in the right direction. Such a lovely day today and I was out for 3 hours on my bike this morning!! I'll probably be paying for it as hadn't done more than an hour up till now but it is great not to have to compromise on the distance (though we won't mention the speed 😉 )
Looking forward to meeting lots of you soon, Carol x
Exciting stuff - not long now to the meet up. I'm really looking forward to seeing you all in person. Sandy will you please let me know the final numbers so I can make any changes with the restaurant. I've currently reserved a table for 16. They didn't require a deposit so just pay on the day.
For some reason the underline button is stuck on today!
Sorry to hear some of you are still struggling. I'm feeling more like my old self again now, though a bit more chilled out 🙂 Tamoxifen isn't treating me too bad. I'm a bit stiff when I get up if I've been sat for a while and I still have broken sleep but I'm coping ok with it. I've had a second haircut and I've taken the plunge and gone blonde. What was the worst that could happen? Now I've got used to it I quite like it.
No sign of Ofsted yet, but I'm feeling more ready for them now when they do come. I'm also going to look around a special needs school on Wednesday with a view to applying for a new job.
Well done for getting your new job Philomena - 2 days term time sounds great. Diggy go for it. Something will come up that will be better for you.
Hi Kate, Lynn,
No problem...little case has wheels so don't mind rolling along the road!
Lynn, your new 'do' is lovely....and I noticed we have the same curtains ha ha!!
Hi Lori, Kate and anyone else arriving at Piccadilly around 15.20 . I google mapped the hotel from the station it looks like it is within walking distance. I got my hair cut today and coloured for the first time, my husband even noticed lol. Looking forward to seeing all of you. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Take Care Lynn x
Just to confirm I will be able to make the get together in Manchester.
Please add me to the list Ros - thanks!
I had a look at some trains, I need to change at York and can get a connection that brings me in at 15:19
Kate, Lynne I see your both arriving around the same time, do you want to meet at the Station or at the Hotel...not sure how far it is from Station, if we need a cab we could maybe share one?
Looking forward to meeting up with you all, it'll be great!!
P.s I've just posted a new PIC taken last week after my 2nd haircut post chemo...yeah!!!
Take care love Lori xx
Hi Angels that's my train ticket booked. Arriving at Manchester Piccadily at 15.18, leaving on 13.14 train on Sunday. Looking forward to seeing all your lovely faces. Does anyone know if the spa does massage for people like us. I was refused and had to have a facial last December . I'm doing ok back working full time and my building work starting next week, lots to do. Take care. Lynn x x
just to say - i had a HAIRCUT today, how good is that!! i look like me now so thats good, getting there bit by bit.
kate - thats a bit much, 1 year after treatment! im going in april so it will actually be 14 months and i thought that was too long, but i feel ok so no panic at the moment.
rozz - ive got a sleeve for mild lymphoedema, theyre really good arent they and the gloves are great. i find they hurt after a while tho, i cant keep them on for long. glad youre feeling well. its nice isnt it to get back to normal life.
i bet youre all getting excited about your trip, ive got fecinora coming up here in about 10 days so we can have a little meet up, looking forward to that.
i'm still getting some ribs pains, anyone else getting this? i dont think ive got any flesh there ? weird!
Hello lovely ladies!
Sorry for not posting for so long. I read yours practically every day, but I never seem to have much to contribute. I’m coping fine with working full time, although OH is doing the morning dog-walk and I’m getting in a bit later than I’d like, but that’s fine as I can stay later too. I only have two ongoing issues; firstly tamoxifen which was driving me mad as I was sleeping very badly. It got better though, just before I was going to see the Onc and warn him that if I killed someone it would be his fault. The week before the appointment, I slept well for about 4 days on the trot and I felt like a whole new person and its been ok since although I still have the occasional blip. My second issue is the lymphoedema. I’ve had a variety of different sleeves and I’m currently in a heavy duty one with a separate glove with fingers. Both had to be made specially to fit me – fortunately on prescription, I dread to think what they cost! This set seems to be working, but progress is slow and the glove is already looking very grubby. Getting gloves on and off is a challenge and keeping the glove thing clean and dry is a real pain. A second set has been ordered so I’ll have one for “best” soon. I’m still hopeful that the arm & hand will have slimmed down a lot before the weather starts hotting up!
As Sandy said, 6 rooms are booked. Price of £106.50 each is based on 2 sharing, if you want a room to yourself the cost would be double. Here’s a link to the hotel info for address and parking info.
The rooms are booked in my name, Rosalyn Shelmerdine, booking reference BCDR44811. When you turn up, give them this info and they will allocate a room to you. You will pay (in advance) for yourself on arrival.
A week before we go I will ask for positive confirmation that you want to go, with real names and contact details please (you can send via personal message). I will then cancel any rooms we don’t need.
If any of you want to share with a specific person, just let me know and I’ll tell the hotel.
Below is a link for the Revitalising Spa Day so you can think about what you might want. Again, I will need everyone who wants to indulge to confirm a week before so I can let the spa know. NB this is in a different hotel, but not far away.
I’m really looking forward to it, my son needs to be taken home from Uni that weekend so I’ll be driving up, I’ll also be spending some time with my parents and parking the car at their house.
Philomena – I worked 2 days a week when my children were small and loved it. It kept my brain working and kept me in touch with the world outside home and family. With school holidays off as well I bet it will feel more like a hobby than a job!
Mammograms – I believe we should have an annual mammogram on our unaffected side. As you normally have one as part of the diagnosis, you should have the annual one now-ish, not a year after treatment. I had mine last month, it was “normal” (phew!).
Keep well, all of you!
Sorry I haven't posted for a few days, been busy celebrating my nephew passing all his training to get his green beret of the Royal Marines! He joined just after my surgery last year and is now a fully fledged Marine and we are all very proud of him.
I have just booked my train tickets for our weekend in Manchester, I will be arriving in Manchester about 3pm and leaving again on the Sunday on the 12.15 train. I hope everyone else is getting sorted now and we can have a great celebratory weekend - with some sleep included I'm afraid as I think I'm still going to be sleeping for England!
Angie - great news that you feel 'normal' again, I hope I do soon! I was told by my Onc that the '1 year check' is one year after treatment ends so I pushed for my mamogram to be done now and not in 10 months time! I would suggest that you just ask for one - if necessary get your GP to refer you again to the breast care clinic.
Philomena - I couldn't be a vaccination nurse as I'm a 'wus'! 2 days a week and all the school holidays off sounds great though, maybe I should get over my 'wussiness' and get a job like that too!
See you all soon
Mel - Rozz has booked 6 twin rooms on her credit card and will post us all a week before to see who wants to go and cancel any rooms not taken. The Premier Inn address is: 72 Dale Street, Manchester M1 1HR. The dates are for the weekend of the 4th & 5th of April.
Lori - I think youre right, we should have a head count just in case we need more.
OH and I will be there for the Sat night. Can anyone else confirm yet. I will keep a track of who's going from now on for Rozz's final numbers.
Philomena - Its good to hear that you've had a good time with your rellies and got another job. Mad maybe but good for the purse. Good to hear your feeling well too.
Angie - One year check should mean just that. I have my mamorgram next week. I'm already feeling nervous without having to wait an extra 4 months.
Got to go get washing in. Just come over really dark here near sunny Skeggy. Take it easy angels. xxxx
Philomena-sounds like a great job congratulations!
Sandy- no I'm not on herceptin, just tamoxifen. Sorry you're suffering from se's too Lori. I'm just hoping that eventually a corner is turned like Angie and we start feeling better!
I need info about Manchester as well. I know I've been told all this before but where are we staying? which premier inn? what happens about paying? do we get a room each now it's premier inn? (worried about my snoring!) I can't remember anything- marbles are well and truely lost
love Mel xxx
just to let you know that my post from about a week ago when i said i felt normal and ok, well i still am. mel and sandy, it cant be long now before you start to feel like you again. i thought i'd let you know so that you know i wasnt just having a good day, 1 year on - fine again.
(well i would be if i could get a 1 year check, its going to be 14 months, and thats not a year!)
Just catching up with your posts and how your all feeling, I have to say its much the same for me, I too am back on lansoprazole and just had my citalopram up'd to 30mg.
I'm also trying out some water balance and glucosamine vitamins to help with the aches and tightness and swelling of hands, feet etc....who knew we'd all end up with this lot!!
I'm still not back at work and truthfully don't feel ready or capable yet.
Sandy, I think a lot of what you're experiencing is similar to me so could be a combo of the tamoxifen & herceptin.
My oncologist sympathised with my se's but said to try and manage them with exercise and pain relief as she did not have an alternative to tamoxifen for me.
Can someone remind me Who's all going to Manchester and what we're doing about the reserved accommodation. I've looked at trains again so need to get organised. I could not remember if we need to phone and pay for room in advance?
Take care all,
Speak to you again soon Lori xx
Oh Mel its awful isn't it. Im going call for an appointment to see the oncologist again. The thought of feeling like this for 5 years on Tamoxifen is going to call for some councelling I think. I am sorry for you too as I know what your putting up with. I thought I was alone with these particular Se's. I will let you know how i get on.
Angie - Your nuts coment did put a smile back on face. LOl. At least I know it must be the tamoxifen because I was fine before I started it and Mel has the same.
Just a thought Mel, could I ask if you are on Herceptin too? At least I can rule that little culprit out if not. xxx
Hi Sandy I'm back on 30mg lansoprazole too because of indigestion caused by tamoxifen- I feel sick every morning too, then have indigestion in evening even with the lansoprazole. Onc did a bloodtest to see what my hormones are doing to see if they can change me to an aromatase inhibitor instead. got to go back in a month. if things don't settle down I don't think I can cope with taking it, but they told me the tumor was very oestrogen positiveso they want me to carry on. The up side is I can't eat much so I'm losing weight!!!
Spudgirl- It's really common to feel depressed and anxious after cancer treatment. I'm taking antidepressants and have had counselling too. Don't feel guilty, ask for help. Hope you feel better soon.
fecinora- hope you're recovering from your op now xx
Angiepops- so glad you're feeling better too- you're a couple of months ahead of me so you've given me hope too.
Judy- great news about your scan!!
love to everyone xxx
yes i'm on tamoxifen, it was a bit dodgy when i started it in september but the only side effect still going is the rise in body temperature which triggers a very occasional hot flush. i have citalopram as well from when i was nuts but that apparantly helps with the hot flushes. I had backache and couldnt sleep through the night but its all stopped. hope this helps
Angie - Thank you for sharing that and long may it last. I can't wait until I feel like that. You have given me hope for the future. Can I ask if you are on Tamoxifen? I'm back on 30mg Lansaprozole again after talking to the oncologist and reading the side effects for tamoxifen that mention that it can effect the pancreas causing the stomach ache going through to the back which is what i'm experiencing along with mild nausea early hours and very dry peeling skin on my hands and feet and brittle nails. Is anyone else experiencing these side effects?
Judy - Excellent news from your scan.
Fecinora - I hope your recovery is going well.
Spudgirl - Good to hear from you again. I too cry at the smallest things these days but after reading many experiences on here it does seem normal like Diggy says. It looks like you both have to settle back into work gradually. I hope everything settles into a good routine soon.
Mel A - You sound as though you have settled back to work ok and holding off those bugs. Good luck with the ofsted report.
Kate - I'm going to ask my oncologist if it will help taking vitamins and which ones whilst I'm on herceptin. I'm still close to neutropenic so I don't know if i will be allowed but hadn't though to ask.
I had my Herceptin Iv on tuesday. All went really well and quickly. They take blood and push the herceptin and flushes through the same vein whilst i'm in the chemo unit. So much better than than going to different departments and lots of digging.
Not long now till we meet. Take it easy angels. xxx
just wanted to share this with you all.
my macmillan nurse told me (after i spent some time moaning about after effects) that i would wake up one day and it would be as though someone had switched a light on, and i would feel normal and 'me' again. well that was months ago, but i have to say that today, i am 'me' again. i cant explain it but i feel different to how i have been feeling, ive been doing things i have always done, ive not been as tired, it is literally as though something has just clicked on again. i feel really good. for no reason. in fact ive just had a car repair that cost £800 and i still feel ok.
lets hope this is 'it'.
Fecinora, wishing you a speedy recovery from your surgery. Do get a second opinion.
Mel A best of luck with the Ofsted. Our service is expecting a visit any week now.
I am about to make a big decision. Work wants to cut our team of 6 tutors to a team of 4. I am going to apply for voluntary redundancy. Very scared. What if I don't find another job? But I can't take the stress of the job anymore. There is more to life than work and money. Am I mad?
Got my train tickets for Manchester.
Just in to catch up!
I had my ovaries and tubes out yesterday. Bit sore and tired, but OK. That was the easy one. See plastics on Tuesday re BMX and recon (maybe). I had mammo in Jan, and told that is all I get before bmx in May.
Well, they are removing nothing until I've had up to date scans! I really dont want my breast surgeon anywhere near me. He even told me they dont send the tissue to pathology post mx - sounds like rubbish to me.
I'm so fed up with this continual fighting with them. Made worse by contrast in how wonderful the gynae surgeon was, spent ages answering my questions and giving me all the info I needed.
Is anyone else totally disillusioned and gone elsewhere for a second opinion?
That's fantastic news Judy, hope you have had a few drinks in celebration!
My week has been a busy one at work but its now a rest day followed by the weekend so I'm tired but happy tonight.
Carol - the lady who is about a year ahead of me at work has been told to take vitamin D by her GP as she was feeling tired constantly so maybe its a good one to start boosting!
Angie - please call your BCN again and get to see someone soon, its the only way to put your mind at ease.
Hope everyone else is okay
Judy, when you had your ct scan did you have to have an injection to help show anything up? I want to ask for a scan to see if my stomach ache which goes through to backache is anything to be worried about. I'm wondering how they will inject with no veins.
Mel, Im hoping it's just tamoxifen side effect as I too feel sick in the mornings and it wakes me up.
Amber, sorry you can't make it to Manchester. Maybe we could skype you if one of us takes a tablet?
Caz, your hair looks great. The muddy boot image made me laugh. Haven't done that in a while.
Angie, I'm glad your blood test came back good. One less thing to worry about.
I just can't seem to shake this doom and gloom feeling. I think it's because of the backache and niggly tummy. I'm back on Lansaprozole as the oncologist thinks it may be down to acid again. I'm thinking all sorts of things. I think i will call the oncologist again today. Must be fed up with me by now.
On a lighter note, I went to the hospital hairdesser who tidied and washed my (quiet thin hair) with NIoxin shampoo and conditioner and hair repair treatment. Bought some too. I really do have much thicker hair now but like the rest of us it just wants to stick up and out as it gets longer.
Take care angels. xxx
ive got hair like crusty the clown on simpsons - the side bits are wild! Oh the joys!!
all blood tests have come back ok??? so now its just being put down to after effects of treament. blood pressure is up and down like mad, sugar is same but when its averaged out its borderline so they call it ok. i had to have my ring cut off at the jewellers and they are going to repair it as best they can, it was my grannys so i want to wear it again - on other not fat hand. pft - just so fed up of feeling under par.
Have any of you got lumps, or 'a' lump around the mx scar. ive noticed on the end of the scar there's quite a bump developed but i think i'm being a bit paranoid. it feels like bone, do ribs go that far up - at breast height?
im not going to docs AGAIN they must be sick of seeing me and they missed the huge lump first time around. i should be getting an appointment for 1 year check so i'll let the surgeon see it instead. just wondered if any of you had lumpy scars.
glad youre picking up maisiecake mel, the anti depressants are good arent they. Ive got very strange hair too, i give up.
hope youre all well