Anyone due to start chemotherapy in September 2015

[Bibi44]

Oh glad that's started for you.  I cried all over my counsellor.  She had a box of tissues to the ready, so I guess I am not the only one.  You know what they say...better out than in. xx

[SuzyEB]

Had first counselling session today. Didn't expect it to be so hard. 

I'm so sorry about the nose bleeds etc. It does feels unending. Just realised I've got 5 hospital appointments next week. I thought it would be slowing down by now.

It was great to talk to you. Work feels ok but I'm really tired. Thank goodness for the weekend. Have a lovely one. xx

[Bibi44]

Hi Suzy Gosh never heard of that.  This is never ending.  I feel as if I'm back in chemo this week with nose bleeding, mouth ulcers & peripheral neuropathy!  Have got some glutamine & asked if I can defer the next dose by a week to try & get rid of it.  I feel like I've put both arms in a nettle patch & rummaged around for a while.  On the plus side been fine mood wise. 

Lovely to chat to you on Tuesday & hope you have felt OK at work for the rest of the week

Good weekend xx

[SuzyEB]

So they are now sending to see a lymphodema nurse. May have truncal lymph. Getting fed up now.xx

[Bibi44]

Yes of course you can. I should be back about 4-30pm tomorrow, pref before 7pm when the family get home.   I had 6 counselling sessions, which is their standard, but was told I could go back for 2 more if necessary.   Are you on tamoxifen? It could be that. I think it is probably just as shocking & frightening for your friend, but obviously her treatment won't be so severe.  I don't think you should feel guilty about your thoughts, I'm sure that's not the real Suzy talking from what I know of you on here, it's probably just a projected version of 'why did I have to have all the awful stuff' & a reflection of you feeling a bit low.  xxx

[SuzyEB]

Arm is very stiff and sore. Ortho appt in 2 weeks to discuss mri results. Hopefully only minor ligament damage in wrist. If serious may need op to repair. Eye lashes and eyebrows were a bit of a shock. Seem to have settled down to a sparse level.
Have another friend just diagnosed with a lobular cancer. Feeling guilty as very jealous that they don't have to have mastectomy or chemo. My mastectomy side still very swollen and hard. Softens up when I go to bed but rock hard when I wake up.
I'm starting back full days next week. Only doing 4days a week.
Bibi can I give you a call Tuesday night? How many sessions of counselling did you do? I'm not coping well with things. I've been bursting into tears over nothing. I was never like that. Take everything in my stride but not now. Now sure how the counselling will go? Hope it helps me. xx

[Bibi44]

Good news Suzy.  How's it going? Arm, latest Herceptin etc? I did counselling back in March/April & was fine after until last week, when I had 4-5 really low days in a row, culminating in a serious crying fit on Sunday, it was just huge sobs, totally out of control & a weird noise which sounded like someone else was making it.  Anyway was scared that I was developing depression, so booked back into counselling, but in fact I actually felt back to normal after the giant crying fit.  Who knows where that came from!?! Anyway saw the counsellor last Thurs & she said it's grief about what's happened & it needs to come out.  Just thought I would post that in case anyone else got it, as it was totally weird.  Also saw you said on another thread that your eyelashes had gone again Suzy, checked mine & they are half the length they were last week. Freaky! Is this some kind of late taxol surge? Sorry about the italics, can't change it back xx

[SuzyEB]

Weyhey,  finally got my date for counselling. Sessions start on Friday next week.

[SuzyEB]

What dates are you all available? I can usually do a Weds. X

[MadAnge]

Yep I would be interested in meeting up. It would be nice to meet up and actually meet the ladies I have chatted too xxx I am in Bedfordshire so London would be OK for me xxxxx

[SuzyEB]

Great to hear from you Ange. I'm also finding the Herceptin is making me tired.I'm also losing my eyebrows and eyelashes again. Few problems with dizziness and painful finger tips.

I am or was back at work part time but broke bone in my elbow today so off for a few more weeks. 

So glad to know that you are doing okay

Would you be interested in a meet up at some point?  I would love to be able to meet all of you who have supported me through all of my treatment.  xxx

[MadAnge]

Hi ladies, long time since I posted but as you guessed I am doing ok. Herceptin is making me tired and for 3 days after injection feel pretty pants but getting there. Would feel better mi nus hot flushes from tamoxifen. Back at work now too. Hope you ladies are all ok xxxxx

[SuzyEB]

Quick update. Due to being extremely clumsy and falling of my bike this morning, I now have a fractured radial head on my left elbow. Off work again and in pain. More embarassed than anything else.xxx

[SuzyEB]

Just saw that you had pm'd me. Sorry about the 6th. Hope hosp appt goes well. Could you do the 7th instead? Faringdon would be good.
Xx

[Bibi44]

Hi Suzy sorry I can't make the 6th now as have a hosp appt x

[Bibi44]

Suzy excellent news.  You must be so relieved.  Don't beat your self up about your meltdown, it's perfectly normal to be worried about something like that.  Very happy birthday.  Enjoy your meal.  6th in the diary.  TC said she would come too didn't she, so once we've heard from her we can PM arrangements xxxx

[SuzyEB]

Brilliant news Bibi. Congratulations on getting all clear. Enjoy the celebration.
I had the CT today and got result about an hour later. Had a minor meltdown with buckets of tears when talking to my bosses. They organised for the scan and Consultant to see me in person to get results. All ok. So it is likely to be Herceptin and high blood pressure. I've got 6 to go and am looking forward to feeling ok again.
Shall we say the 6th to meet? I'm happy travelling anywhere. Just be so good to meet and celebrate all getting through it.
TC hope you're well.
Chelle and Mad ange am sure you are both doing ok and enjoying recovering from the treatment.
Anyone who wants to meet let me know and I'll try and organise it. I've been inspired by the lovely benchlanders. Not sure I want to travel to Morecambe though.
I'm going out for an impromptu birthday meal tonight. Lovely chinese noodle bar. Xx

[Bibi44]

Suzy sorry to hear about your head.  Fingers crossed nothing untoward.  I have that tiredness  still with the Herceptin too if that helps.  Some doses fine & others totally whacked.  Still only 6 more to go at this end...guess you are about the same? I got ANTWA yesterday at the year on mammo....Absolutely Nothing To Worry About. I'm sooooo happy (?delirious) about that 🍾🎊🍾I am around 6th & 7th. When is the CT?  I'm sure it's just a precaution. I have had a dry cough again for the last 3 weeks, very similar to post rads, which I think might be the combo of rads & pollen, but of course there is always that tiny chink in your mental armour with the question 'what if it's something else?' behind it.  Have a lovely day all, I have a party today to celebrate my all clear.  It's actually my BC  anniversary today & the party was to thank all the friends who have helped me through this (& to take my mind off it of course) xx

[SuzyEB]

Had onc appt yesterday. Been having a few dizzy spells recently, most likely to do with blood pressure but onc sending me for ct head to rule out mets. Not too worried, more like unsettled as was feeling ok. Tiredness still with me and told yesterday it's a se of the Herceptin. Have lost big toe nails and now this. Finding it hard to focus on moving on at the moment. Love being Her 2+ve +++ !!!!!!
Have 6 and 7 of July off. Does anyone want to meet up for lunch? Happy to drive anywhere to meet you. Xx

[Bibi44]

Well done TC hope you're healing well now.  Susie glad work is going well.  I've been tootling along fine this past few weeks, but got my year on mammo next Tues, which is slightly freaking me out. Fingers crossed it comes back clear as I seriously do not think I could do all this again.  Woke up a few times in a dream fight with the oncologist, BCN & other half about me saying I wouldn't have chemo again.  Gawd! Have a lovely weekend all. xx

[SuzyEB]

Hey TC you made it through. Not sure who wants to meet up. London would be good. How about Covent Garden? When is good for you? I'm back at work but only for 4 hours a day. I finish at 1pm at the moment and will do all of next week. Then it goes up to 2pm. 

My 'lovely' bcn team sort of forgot to organise for me to get measured for my new boob. The team lead was quite angry with them when I asked about it. Should have had appt before rads.

Have you started back to work yet? xx

[turnercat]

Sorry to hear about your side effects Suzy and Bibi. I'm coming through the other side just about. Would love to meet up. London or I am willing to drive too. Xx

[SuzyEB]

Not sure how I feel today. Saw onc and everything is going ok apart from the news that the rads have damaged a rib and also caught the edge of my lung and that's why I have a cough and pain. Will the joy of BC never end.

Hope everyone is coping ok and feeling more like themselves. xx

[Bibi44]

Suzy those seromas are a real pain aren't they? Have you considered MLD? There's a lady on Feb rads who describes it ..... quite an experience from the sound of it, but if it works might be worth a try.  I am feeling a bit more chirpy now about my hair.  I'm off the drugs for 3 months to allow my hair to regenerate & then the plan is to try a reduced dose. There's actually research suggesting a lower dose is as effective & doesn't cause side effects, so I'm pinning my hopes on that. I would love to meet you all, but I'm struggling with the crowds/busyness of central London right now.  It's all a bit overwhelming.  I think we're pretty much north, south, west & east of London, so the logical place would be the middle of London. I had my first trip up last Weds for our anniversary dinner in the Shard & I felt quite vulnerable arriving at London Bridge with 10 million commuters all rushing for trains in the opposite direction.  TC/Chelle hope things are not too sore for you. xxx

[SuzyEB]

I'm a little ticked off. Just wrote big comment and it's disappeared.
TC my seroma is still growing. Very tight skin and tender. Just want a nice flat chest. No seroma, no swelling, no tenderness and no blisters. My tiredness has got worse and wad in bed for 9 last night and woke at 7.45 this morning.
Chelle are you settled back after your holiday?
Bibi that's a horrible decision to make. Sorry to hear that your hair is coming out. Did you cold cap? I can't remember. My cognitive function is definitely reduced. I am hoping it comes back.
Does anyone want to meet up? I'm happy to drive anywhere. It would be lovely to meet you wonderful women who have been an amazing support. Xxx

[Bibi44]

Well done for finishing TC. Hope it doesn't get any worse over the next week. Loads of my hair has fallen out this weekend, you can see giant bits of scalp now. I think it's the tamoxifen, as my head has been feeling like it did after chemo. Not what you want to see after keeping your hair through chemo! Hope it grows back. Have stopped the tamox as not prepared to be bald for 10 years. It's unsettled me though, as feel it's a real step in the wrong direction & was looking to hormone tabs to help prevent a recurrence. Will the effects of this blinking BC ever STOP!!!!! Suzy/Chelle/Jen hope you're doing ok now & good luck for the op. xx

[turnercat]

Thanks Suzie not over yet side effects kicking in big time. Everything is beginning to swell again xx

[JenJen]

Popping in to give hugs

Bibi x ,Suze x,TCx, Chelle x

[SuzyEB]

TC congratulations on reaching the end of active treatment. So many emotions coming into play. You have a lot to deal with and tears are a natural part of it all. Celebrate tonight and try and forget the nightmare of the last 9 months just for tonight. Xxxxx

[Scaredchelle]

Big hugs tc. You are going through so much at the mo.
I was so tearful and emotional the fat before the last one. I know where you are coming from. Xxx
On a positive note you have made it through to the end of this vile 9 months 😝😝😍😍😍😘😘😘👏👏👏👏👏🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[turnercat]

Hi ladies last day tomorrow. and final rads. Lost it today though I must say I've been trying to keep it together but the tears just poured. I was laying there thinking about my poor mum who died in 1997 from cancer. She would have been devastated to see tjat her youngest son died less than a year ago aged 52 of heart attack. And that her remaining two children were fighting the cancer battle. I just felt she was there holding my hand x

[SuzyEB]

Chelle Dancing round cheering you on. Have a great holiday. Big congratulations. xxxxx
TC big cheers getting ready to come your way. Last day. Xxxxx
Loving this wrather. Sitting in the garden drinking home made lemonade. Xx

[Scaredchelle]

I did it
I did it
I did it!!!!!

I got through this nightmare 9 months!
Today is the end of my active treatment.
(I am now sat getting burnt in the sun!)

[Bibi44]

Suzy sorry to hear your sore patch is getting bigger, surely it should be starting to improve soon.  Maybe you could ask if there is anything else they recommend with you working there (or do you already know??). Well done on getting back to work. I found my stamina returned quite quickly, so hopefully it will soon be less tiring.  First time I picked up the racket & did short 20 min knock up from service line I felt like I'd run a marathon & had to lie down after, whereas played for an hour & a half on Friday & fine after, so don't despair if you're finding it hard going to start with.  Each new thing I try, I seem to need to work up to it gradually.  Interesting thing I read yesterday, women who take ibuprofen 3 times a week have a 36% reduction in recurrence.  Seems like quite an easy thing we can do to improve our chances, so I thought I'd share with you.  TC hope you are faring ok & Chelle have a great break.  We are going out for dinner at the Shard tonight for our anniversary & I am treating HB to thank him for his support over this year.  First mammo booked for early June ... No looking forward to sticking what's left of my boob in that mangle again eek.  Enjoy the sun ladies xx

[SuzyEB]

Just done first day at work. Only 3 hours but very tired. Raw, blistered area is getting bigger. Very tender. Have managed to get out in the garden and slowly tidying up the beds. Feeling good having this little normality. Hope the last few sessions fly with no new sude effects.
Bibi hope the tennis is getting easier. Xx

[Scaredchelle]

I am shattered tc. No idea how either of us are going to cope with traveling and being busy visiting a new place. We only have 2 days there so I am hoping it's a bit of a pottering and visiting cafes kind of trip!!!!
My skin is holding out. Can't bare my bra on by the afternoon though, so have to be careful who I answer the door to!
Even though my rads SE's are in full swing, I got outside this weekend to help little lady to ride her bike. I haven't felt well enough to help her since the summer so this made me sooooo happy 😊
Hope you are all having a fab weekend.

[turnercat]

Hi Chell 3 more for me. But I get the idea it gets worse before it gets better. Live Majorca xx

[Scaredchelle]

THanks Suzy. 

4 more to go. Can't wAit!

im really struggling with tiredness. I'm leaving the house at 8 every morning. It's taking its toll. 

We have booked a short break tonight (not sure if that's stupid or not!) to Majorca without the kids. 

I finish on Wednesday,we fly in Saturday, then return on Tuesday, and hubby is then in hospital for his hip replacement on the Wednesday!!!!!! Let's hope nothing goes wrong!

[SuzyEB]

No more blisters. Would wave my arms in the air but would split skin again.
TC it is hard especially if you have mobility problems. My seroma has also reappeared. Not helping the situation but don't want to have it drained. The thought of having another needle stuck into my burnt skin makes my stomach churn. I hope you are managing these last few sessions.
Chelle less than a week to go. Finish line is in sight.xx

[Bibi44]

TC soz it's hard for you. Aveeno is great/non allergenic. U can get in supermarket. Big hugs Suzy. Armpit sounds nasty but you'll be on the up soon. xx

[turnercat]

Hi ladies sorry I haven't been on here lately. What with cording' seroma, swollen hand. I'm half way through rads session 8 today. Whoever said this was the easy part is bonkers. Alergy to E45. Alo Vera too drying. Skin breaking up and oh so tierd. Xx Sorry so miserable that's why I've stayed off . Xx

[SuzyEB]

The fatigue is easing and I'm even sleeping better. Have a large raw patch in axilla from one if the burns. I am feeling better than at the weekend so hopefully turning the corner. Had another of those ' she didn't have any problems after rads' conversations. Sorry, just whingeing.
I've had a lovely day even though it's cold.
Hope all the radettes are doing well and coping with tiredness. Xx

[Bibi44]

Sorry to hear about the skin. You could try that CAVILON cream or the polymer dressings. I had Ralife cream too, which was great, but I don't know if you can put on broken skin. The bloke at mosaic, Phil, will tell you if you email. He's very helpful. Hope it bucks up soon for you. The rads will stop working 7-10 days post & hopefully it will start getting better.even people with very bad reactions on our Feb thread said they were amazed by how fast it went. 3 hours sounds 'doable' to quote Vic Derbyshire as long as your commute doesn't make that much longer. I bet you'll enjoy it when you start. You have to believe/hopeyou will be a lot better by then too. Did you have any fatigue? Xx

[SuzyEB]

Weyhey Chelle. Halfway. Soon be you TC. I am getting redder and more painful. Using R2 and aloe vera gel but skin splitting. Any suggestions as what can help.
Back to work on Tuesday 3rd. 3 hrs a day and no pt contact. I just tell them when I feel up to increase in hours or otherwise. Now it's coming to it, I'm not so confident about going back. Xx

[Bibi44]

Well done Chelle. The radiographer all shouted "halfway" at me when I got there & it made me laugh. Hope your boob/op site is holding up ok. TC how's it going? Suzy nearly at the one week post. You should have some improvement by the end of this week xx

[Scaredchelle]

Thanks Suzy. I was on my knees by the afternoon on my second day. I stayed till the end though. Haven't been able to move my fat bum off the sofa since but still.....

I had #8 today and am half way there 👏👏👏👏👏👏🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💟

[SuzyEB]

Can't wear a bra at the moment. Where they gave me the rash from the tape, I've now got a large bloody bruise which is now peeling. It is very sore. Hopefully this is as bad as it gets. Hope everyone is doing well with their rads. 

I'm meeting my boss tomorrow to organise the timing of my return to work. They are very understanding so it should be a smooth return. I'm going to enjoy the next week. xx

[Bibi44]

Ps Suzy there's also a bit in that thread about weighted foam false boob you can used after rads, which is allegedly more comfy than your softie. x

[Bibi44]

Ooh sounds really nasty Suzy. Poor you. Take a look on Fab Feb Rads, there was a lady on there doing 33, the poor thing, & she used painkillers, polymem dressings & some gel pads you put in the fridge from memory. Bad luck to get such a fiery reaction.  I believe leaving it open to the air is also good & better now it's warmed up a bit. Take care BBx

[SuzyEB]

Chelle I am well impressed. Going back to work. Please don't overdo it.
I'm in a lot of pain today. I think I may struggle with the next 2weeks. Chest is hot and hard. Anyone got any advice please? I'm going to keep going with all the creams and gels. I knew it gets worse before it gets better but wasn't expecting it so soon. Still glad it's done. Enjoy this lovely sunny day. Xx