Hi Guys
Fiona and Carol, I know what you mean about hearing about girls who have succcumbed to this horribe disease. It just brings it home what a scary thing is happening to us all. We are all positive and strong - all of us - and those girls I'm sure, were too. I also feel a bit guilty because i was caught early with a big tumour that was less than a year old, or I would have been dying now or soon as it would have met. So it's that easy to get caught too late. It has made me terrified for my 5 nieces. One, Sinead, has just turned 13 (Sep 25th) and her maternal aunt (dx when she was breastfeeding at he age of 38) had a radical mastectomey in 2006, at the same time as my brother died. Wee Naydi is convinced that she will get bc. What can you say? Just pray that they will never be afflicted by this or any other cancer. Their girls' poor kids! It is hard to come to terms with losing a parent at any age. My mum became deadly ill when I was 14 and never fully recovered, so we are always moved by childrens' grief.
You might have heard recently about the mother and daughter who died in a housefire in Blantyre a couple of weeks ago? We lost a family member to a housefire in 1986 and it all came crashing back. My cousin, who was rescued wearing only her goonie, was inconsulable. they were newlyweds and had just moved into their new house. Within 2 weeks, she had lost everything a few days after her 21st birthday. I shrink when I hear a fire brigade to this day. Nd hearin about a tragedy on your doorstep ... throws it into sharp focus like it happened last week.
These things never leave you, and we will just have to come to terms with the fact that we are, or are going to be, bc survivors. It will be an integral part of us for the rest of our lives and is as scary as it is inevitable. But look what we have went through, what we have conquered. BC not for sissies that's for certain sure!
I am feeling so very much better! Still can't go the the loo, but have cut down on the laxatives (3 types) as they were causing the pain with terrible trapped wing. I threw up in Morrison's yesterday because of the pain - just made it to the loo!! So now I am taking the minimum, am ingesting very little anyway. Just praying I don't have to go back to A&E with a raging temp and an impacted colon again! So sore, so HUMILIATING! It was the worst thing I have ever gone through.
I had very early chemo yesterday and had my dex and fruit tea ready for after my shower but my lift arrived and left without taking them. So they gave me 20mg intravenously and what a massive boost - I felt like I was on speed!!! I washed windows in my living room, trourghly hoovered, washed the kitchen floor, stove and hob - things I could only dream of a couple of days ago! Took my 16 mg today and feel full of beans. Finishing steroids tomorrow so I will probaly crash with a massive bang, but feeling good - and capable - and AWAKE!!!for 2 whole days has been such a gift!!!
Waiting now for my appointment for the banding procedure, which sounds both gross and embaressing. Let's hope that they give great sedation, the more the merrier. I can hardly sit just now so hope painkillers will also be at hand!! This has been the worst, this and the weakness/sleepiness. So not me!
Shiela, how are you feeling now sweetheart? Is is grim, the old Tax, very few things have laid me low, but it did. It was Sharon's bravery which persuaded me to continue as I was ready to beg for another chemo after 2. But research proved that Tax + herceptrin gives me the best chance, but it was Sharon who inspired me. Thanx Sharon, what a girl!
Maggie, how are you feeling after FEC? Are you getting many s/e, apart from the unavoidabe weariness and stomach pains? You are almost there. One more hurdle done! Oh, TIP. I suffered awfully after every chemo with bleeding ulcers and thrush (even with FEC) Last Tax and this I one sucked 2 ice lollies each time, wee fruit ones, while getting the infusion and got 2 tiny ulcers which disappeared overnight!! Worth trying and not at all unpleasant. Hopefully I'll get off this time too. It seems to work on the same principle as cold cap. Got some in the freezer now too, but havent needed them yet.
Hope you are all well and in good spirits, you are the best, believe me.
God bless, sleep well
Annie xxx
