Anyone starting chemo in December?

[waiting]

Ooooo thanks for that marli think I'll wait for them to grow back!
See you all tonight at 9am

Xx

[marli]

I'll drink to that. lol  Can't type much because of pot (hope it is off on Wednesday) but will catch up then. J and Caroline hope you both start feeling better emotionally soon.

I found that when my eyebrows came back it happened very quickly, seemed to be almost within a week. Word of warning re tattoos - talking to my daughter who is beauty therapist about this last week. One of the salons clients had hers done and when her own came back they were about 1 cm below the tattoos. Think I can wait. Take care - see you all for a drink tomorrow night. xx

[waiting]

Hi J,

Glad you starting to feel better and your hair starting to make an appearance. I wondered what colour mine would be as Ive been  a highlighted blond for years. Anyway it's growing back very dark ..... interesting. I totally agree about the eyebrows it's surprising how they shape the face. I'm considering having them tattooed on as getting tired of the cue ball/tortoise look lol.

Like you, Im soooo happy that chemo is over and I also have had flash backs of the taste and smell of the drugs and also the feeling in my sinuses as the drugs are given yuck yuck yuck ......... yes glad if over.

Ive had 2 hypnotherapy sessions at the Haven and it's helped with relaxation & sleep. I have to say that im generally feeling more relaxed about what has happened. It's also been great to talk face to face with others who have been through the same experience because we all truly understand and get how BC makes us feel. I wish you could make some time for some alternative treatments as Im sure this would help to lift you.

J, I think you are such a strong women managing to work and care for others with cancer ........ Ive been off work since my diagnosis in Oct and I feel so guilty about not working but a mortgage break is easing the financial situation for the time being.

I know exactly what you mean about comments from others who mean well. There is an expectation to 'put it all behind you now that it's all over' ...... what can I say. Im just hoping that in time we can assimilate this awful experience as I know I will never be able to put it behind me let alone forget about it.

I agree that we should all acknowledge our determination in beating this disease and celebrate the fact that we have managed to get through the chemotherapy.

Can I suggest that we synchronise our glasses tomorrow 9pm (3rd May)

Lots of Love xxx

[875020079]

Hi

Like you I had the last doses of chemo 3 weeks 4 days ago, and things are slowly improving - I had the PICC line removed the other day and it was good to get rid of it but my skin is stil so sore where the dressings were. My hair is started to grow a little, I have about 2mm of a sort of downy white hair over most of my head except the sides in front of my ears (I was brunette before). I really wish my eyebrows would come back though, I know this will take longer but I really miss them! I used to moan about my eyebrows because they were so bushy and it hurt to pluck and shape them but I swear I'll never complain about them again if only they would come back!
I am still working but have no idea how I will cope with radiotherapy every day, especially with such a long way to drive. Have already started Zoladex injections and due to start Examestane too when I get the next Zoladex injection on May 20th.
I have to say I don't think I am doing very well emotionally at the moment, I just feel so low and I don't sleep. I am still working and I just hate wearing my wig but I have to for work as I look after patients with other different types of cancer. If only they knew!
I am slowly getting my taste sensation back but I still had dreadful mouth ulcers after the last cycle, and just today I keep getting 'flashbacks' of remembering that awful metallic gluey taste and I keep imagining that I can smell the chemo drugs, weird.
I am very glad that chemo is over, but I do find it annoying when people say "well that's it then, you've finished your treatment now, are you pleased?" Don't get me wrong, it is great to be on the other side of chemo at last but let's face it, it is actually only one step on an extremely long pathway of treatment.

That said, I think we should raise a glass and congratulate ourselves, us girls who started our chemo in December, we dreaded it and it's been gruelling, but we got through it. We can tell ourselves for the future that we did absolutely everything we could to stop this nasty disease and remind ourselves how brave and courageous we are.
Let's synchronise and all toast ourselves - just let me know when and I'm ready - mine's a glass of white wine, that I can TASTE!!

J x

[waiting]

Hi Everyone,

Just checking to ask how everyone doing. Hope getting to the other side of final cycle and starting to feel better.

Its 3 and a bit weeks since my last treatment and recovery is slow but sure. I will be starting on Anastrozole very soon. I met a women the other day at Haven who is on the same and she told me to look forward to joint pain and mild hot flushes ..... with this I can cope.

On a positive note my hair is really stating to grow back. Ive even driven without a hat/scarf! but not been quite brave enough to walk out without just yet ....... but if it keeps growing at this rate it wont be long!

My sick note expires 13th May and everyone keeps telling me it's way too soon to go back to work but I am anxious to get my life back. My only fear is going back to a stressful job too soon and ending up going off sick again.

My oncologist put things in perspective recently by reminding me that Ive had major surgery (mastectomy)and 6 months of chemotherapy which puts the body under immense strain.

He gave the best advice to listen to and be kind to myself and allow recovery to happen as it needs to.

Guess I should start a new thread in the 'living with and beyond'  bit on the forum BUT not before we have raised a glass together on here ...... are we ready girls?

Lots of Love xx

[875020079]

I have about a week more to think it all over as my Onc is planning the first Zoladex injection next appt on Thurs 23rd if I am in agreement.
Also heard from radiotherapy dept at the hospital in Havant today (62 miles round trip) can I go tomorrow for the first session to show me the breath-directed technique then CT scans on Tues. so it looks like cracking on but I still feel ill from the last chemo. I'm not complaining at the speed of treatment, far from it but there's no let up is there? No chance to recover from chemo before the next onslaught, blimey.

J x

[emilysss]

Hi J,

Same as you, I am a bit confused by my options at the moment. I am waiting for a new appointment with oncologist as she gave me a bit more time to decide whether I wanted Tamoxifen or Letrozole. She said if I opt for Letrozole I could either have the injections or have my ovaries removed.I was premenopausal before chemo, but not had a period since cycle 3.

I think my situation is complicated by my weight - I am already too heavy and Tamoxifen is likely to make me put on weight, but Letrozole is less effective if you are overweight. My weight is caused by lipoedema which is affected by oestrogen, so I really don't know what to do at the moment.

Had a fitting for my compression garment yesterday, for the lymphedema in my chest. I thought it was going to be really uncomfortable but it was lovely, and I can't wait until it is ready. The lymphedema nurse said that when I am a bit more recovered from the chemo she can start massage/compression therapy on my arm which will be a relief.

After reading comments on here about wle scars I measured mine, and it's 7 inches long 😞 At least now I have decided not to have radiotherapy I can think about reconstruction sooner.

Marli, I hope you are feeling better and more on top of things. You talking about seeing a solicitor reminded me that I should do that too. The first hospital I was under took two and a half years to do a biopsy, even though I had a palpable lump when first referred. I don't think they should have taken so long.

I hope everyone is doing ok and getting some sun - 24 degrees here yesterday!

Take care,

Emxx

[TomCat]

i agree about the violation. I found someone putting a wire into my breast totally horrendous. I cant really explain it but it was terrible even though it didn't hurt.

I dont know about how bad being 'dumped' into menopause is - I think it depdends on the individual and the symptoms.

I dont know what state I am in. I am 41. I had a period as I started AC and one 4 weeks later in mid Jan. I haven't had another one since during AC or TAxol and due to complications have not had taxol for two weeks. I don't know if my periods have stopped or if they will come back. I would be happy enough if they have stopped because if I end up on tablets that would harm a potential baby anyway there is really no reason to be having or dealing with periods. I haven't conceived about 8 years anyway so I doubt it was ever going to happen.

in the last few weeks I have had a few tiny hot flushes where I had a hot head and cold body but there are a number of other things that this could be due to that I have reason to beleive in too.

I really don't know.

It is VERY hard to make decisions when in pain or when feeling yucky J - i totally get that. It is also overwhelming. Do you need to make these decisions right now?

I was told I get herceptin now and probably tamoxifen later but that will probably reviewed when we get to it. i haven't been told any of your info and it doesn't look like I will have to think bout it thank goodness.

[875020079]

Hi everyone

Hazelr - it would be unusual to use a drain with a wire localisation procedure, and definitely a day case, assuming it will be done in the morning.

Can I ask a question about hormone therapy - I've been back for an extra consultation with my oncologist who was explaining about the SOFT and TEXT trials that have been done in premenopausal women with early breast cancer - these were huge trials carried out in 510 centres across 27 countries and over 5,000 women participated. The results have only just been published in January of this year, but it seems there was a marked improvement in outcomes for women who had Zoladex injections to suppress the ovaries plus Examestane. I can understand the rationale for Zoladex, although this is a bit of a shock to me as it involves an injection every 4 weeks for 2 years, maybe longer. But I had been led to believe Inwould be on Tamoxifen but it seems that Examestane, up until now only used in post menopausal women, may be more effective.
I just wondered if anybody had any thoughts on this - I must say I find the idea of being suddenly dumped into the menopause terrifying, bearing in mind that I am in a relatively new relationship too, it's all quite overwhelming at the moment having to make these decisions and radiotherapy looming plus I still feel so ill from that last chemo - got mouth ulcers on top of mouth ulcers, it's disgusting!

J x

[Hazelr]

Thanks guys sound ok I suppose just a bit weird having a wire put in breast, if it's anything like markers coils I hated it, felt very violated although it didn't really hurt that much. Hey ho it's another thing to go through and come out the other side of. Hope I don't have drains though, thanks all of you for help, I also contacted the help desk and someone like me dept called me today and they are putting me in touch with someone who has been though it to chat it through as well . Very good service I think and it's certainly something I will volunteer for in the future. Xxx

[Hazelr]

Thanks guys sound ok I suppose just a bit weird having a wire put in breast, if it's anything like markers coils I hated it, felt very violated although it didn't really hurt that much. Hey ho it's another thing to go through and come out the other side of. Hope I don't have drains though, thanks all of you for help, I also contacted the help desk and someone like me dept called me today and they are putting me in touch with someone who has been though it to chat it through as well . Very good service I think and it's certainly something I will volunteer for in the future. Xxx

[waiting]

Oh forgot to mention that I didn't have any drains. xx

[waiting]

Hi Hazier,

WLE (wide local excision)/lumpectomy both breast conserving surgery which I also had in 2010.

My experience similar to Tomcat's as also had a wire put in to 'mark the spot' this was done under local anesthetic but I was sat up whilst the procedure was done. Didnt feel a thing. The worst bit for me was that the actual surgery was done at another hospital so I had to travel between the two.

I stayed in overnight and was discharged the following morning. Recovered quickly from surgery and back at work within three weeks. I had a tiny scar where the wire went in and 3cm scar were cancer removed.

Also just wore a soft bra top for bit of support night and day. My breast  a bit lumpy til it healed.

I didnt have snb back then but did this time (Oct 14). Also similar experience to Tomcat as had blue dye injected into my breast which stung abit but no more than any other injection. Also had to massage the area in order for the dye to get into the nodes where the dye shows up under the scanner. This is done so that the surgeon can be precise in where exactly the nodes are situated. Apparently the dye makes them crackle.

Hope this helps.

Lots of Luck and you will be fine xx

[TomCat]

Continued

Scary lumps in your breast as it heals which is freaky. Its scar tissue. I keep getting a lump.under arm as scar tissue although its been checked and it's fine.

The scars from this surgery are tiny. I have a two inch faded flat scar on my breast and a one inch one under my arm near side of breast. They don't actually go in anywhere near where you think they will so don't freak.

Hope its not to grafic. You are gonna do great. The op is a doddle.

[TomCat]

You don't need a special bra, just a soft one. I was told to wear it day and night apart from showers wrx for two weeks. I needed it for three. The reason is to support the small scar under your arm. I have big boobs so it took longer to be comfortable without at night.

No drain for this procrdure. Never heard of one for this.

The operation itself is simple and quick. Its a day job or evening overnight job in this county (Israel). I had my op late at night and was signed for release before breakfast.

For my lumpecomy and snb they were removing the lump and checking the nodes.

The day of the op I had two procedures under local before the op.

The first one I don't know if it will be applicable. They numbed my breast and put a metal.wire straight in down and through the tumour. They then took special photos of this a bit like the mamogram. I kid you not this was the worse bit of the whole cancer. It didn't hurt but I felt violated and lying there for forty five mins while they fiddles with this wirenin my breast I was crying hysterically. It was just me but I found it really hard.

After this (applicable I'm sure)/I had another aneasthtic injection and three injections of dye to the breast. I had to massage it for a few mins then they took a special photo inde something that looked like a MRI machine. It made the glands glow and they marked them on the skin with a felt tip.

The actual op was fine. Healing was straight forward. Be warned you van feel sca

[marli]

Hi Hazel. I had WLE and snb 5 years ago as a day patient. Went in for7.30 in the morning, theatre 9am and home by 4pm. Some discomfort but used paracetamol and had a drain for 2 days. District nurse came to check dressings and drains. By the third week I felt fine walking 2 miles into town. Did the exercises given by BCN who also came to check on me. I wore cotton post surgery bra's from Asda , about £6 each. Able to shower/ bathe with dressings on.

However had to have full clearance 4 weeks later which was more uncomfortable but again recovered fully within 4 weeks to chemo. This was also day surgery.

Don't think everyone has a drain but it was no bother once I found a shoulder bag to put it in !

Good luck and hugs. xx

[Hazelr]

Hi I hope your scans are soon so you stop worrying. Can anyone give me some advice of what to expect from lumpectomy and snb? I have meeting with surgeon on Thursday evening so would like to have some questions ready to ask her. Do I need a special bra fro after surgery and what do I need to take into hospital? Is there a drain always! I am a bit worried about it but not as much as having mx. Going to spend day in the garden in the sun tomorrow and try not to think about it. Good luck everyone whatever you are going through xxx

[TomCat]

Thanks Marli

Saw neurologist today and I have to have PetCT of brain and CT of leg to get further info. Ho ho

[marli]

Hi - Know what? Having vented my frustration in that post and then seeing the solicitor and getting that off my chest I feel a lot better. Although I did burst into tears at the solicitors which I have not done since I was dx in November. Back home stuffing myself with food I can't taste and trying to get warm ( very cold in the North East today and had to wait ages for a taxi ). Cheese and onion quiche and caramel do'nuts taste the same did you know!!

My friend gets pockets put in all her bras and swimsuits - I think the BCN can get them done, sometimes for free. Think it makes adifference so might be worth a try.

Got a At Home pack from Haven last time that has CD's and DVD's in about exercise and relaxation etc. Quite good. xxx

[waiting]

Hi Marli,

Thanks for the bra advice will check it out. The t shirt with cups does sound like a comfy alternative Think I may have worn one of these following WLE surgery in the past but not sure how will hold silicone prosthetic as quite heavy (C cup) but might work with  pocket.  Im sure I will get sorted with  with a suitable bra/prosthesis when everything settles back down.

And well done for the rant! It must be very frustrating for you but sounds like you've taken control so hope your feeling better this evening.

I'm all in favour of a bit of domestic help when in need. I have a cleaner once/month when Im working who has been doing a bit more for us while Ive been having chemo. I worship the ground she walks on!

Liking the sound of the mindfulness CD. Will check that out too as got a couple of Haven appointments next week.

xx

[marli]

 i everyone. Caroline on the subject of bras I have a maternity (not Nursing) bra from Debenhams. It is a bit like a t-shirt bra - pre-formed foam  cups that is not underwired and is very comfortable. They do big sizes too. It might be worth a try and getting a pocket put in.

Sorry ladies but feel the need to have a moan. 

  Having kept upbeat through 5 lots of chemo and looking forward to the last one I am feeling very down at the moment. Started with that cardiologist last week and not helped by restrictions put on me with pot.

So annoyed with myself as I am not usually that sort of person. As long as I know and understand what is happening I can cope but he just threw me.

Have decided to take myself in hand. Seeing solicitor this afternoon to sort out this accident business.

Seeing GP later and will ask her to try to explain the heart thing and exactly what the prescribed tablets are for and do. Bit scared of them actually as they lower blood pressure and mine is fairly low already.

Will then try and arrange some domestic help to include ironing cos my husband works more than full time so feel sorry for him.

He is taking me to every appointment so is kept busy. In the next week I have MRI (Thursday), Plastic Surgeon (Tuesday) , echocardiogram (Wednesday) all at different hospitals.

Going to use my relaxation tape and take a look at the mindfulness CD from The Haven !

I WILL NOT LET THIS THING BREAK ME !!!

Rant over - thank you for listening ladies. Much love to all. XX

[marli]

Well Tomcat -  you are having an exciting time !!! lol

Glad that they seem to be finding a reason for your pain and have given you effective pain relief at last.  It gets very complicated when there are so many threads to our treatment. Hopefully it will all be sorted out soon so that you can see the way forward.  At the moment I have at least 2 medical appointments a week for the next month and more to come re. surgery.

I think it would be good to get a wig so that you can enjoy the wedding and any other special occasions. Is your eczema something you always have or is it new due to treatment. If so can they give you anything to help.

Good luck over the next week and hoping it gets sorted.  Hugs xxx Marli

[waiting]

Flipping heck Tomcat you really are having such a tough time but it sounds like you are getting well looked after. I hope things are resolved soon and you get some relief from the pain.

It does sound like the end of your treatment may be in sight. I hope so, as sounds like you need a rest...

Re: the wig thing ... Hope it's not too itchy with sore poorly skin and it turns out to be free of charge too!!

I got my NHS one back in February and its a perfect match to my pre chemo hair which was highlighted and shoulder length. I must say I was surprised to get such a good wig, Rachel Welsh no less, on the NHS as I was prepared to buy one as thought the NHS ones wouldn't be up to much but I was wrong.

I even had it chipped in a bit by my own hairdresser so it looks even more like my hair. Everyone tells me that it looks great, dosen't look like a wig, just like my hair etc etc .... But I just carn't wear it, think because it's just not me/mine/dosen't feel natural and I've got so used to not having any hair that the wig is just too much hair.... ha ha never thought Id hear myself say that..

Guess will just have to wait for mine to grow back and the good news is that I've got a soft covering of fluffy hair too and I answered the door yesterday without a hat or scarf ....  WOW must mean Im feeling better. 

How is everyone getting along with prosthetics and bras? Can I ask which bras you are all wearing (god that sounds weired! ha ha). Ive got Nicola Jane under wired  ones but think Ive made a mistake. Should have listened to the advice about not wearing wired ones post mx. But found without wired the prosthetic moves across to my remaining breast.   Oh well I never learn.......would be interested in anyadvice/recommendations.

Im struggling getting the right size and shape of prosthetic which could be because my weight had been up and down during treatment. Anyway, now that chemo finished Im going back for a prosthesis refit for the third time on the 30th so fingers crossed.

Hope Everyone feeling okay and coping with dreaded side effects for the LAST time.

Im better this week but chemo fatigue is very real for me, feeling knackered a lot of the time but apparently normal and just need to rest and let it be.

I read a very interesting article by Dr Peter Harvey "After Treatment finished then what" wondering if anyone else seen this?Highly recommend a read. I found it on here somewhere and will post the link.

Onwards and upwards everyone. Looking forward to raising that glass when you all ready.

xx

[Hazelr]

Hey there thanks for thoughts. I have had a wig since I was diagnosed that I wear when I want to look like me, it is just the same as my hair and brilliant, so many people have no idea it's a wig. It isn't even real hair so I just have to give it a quick wash once a month, much easier that washing my hair every other day. I am now sick of wearing a wig so getting braver about going out in a scarf. If the wig looks like your hair you are more likely to wear it I think. Sounds like your head needs some tlc, coconut oil I have heard is good for scalp. When you say expensive, how much? Mine was £135. Hope you leg/pain gets sorted, sounds horrid. How come herceptin once a week? Hopefully not long to go now anyway, loads of Drs looking after you so you will get everyting sorted. Good luck xxx

[TomCat]

By the way Hazel you are going to find that op a doddle once you are feeling better. Don't worry about it. Doing it knowing you are clear is the key!

[TomCat]

Hazel that is just incredible. I am delighted for you. It must be such a weight off your mind!

I am having a fun week. For the second week in a row I had herceptin but no taxol as they were concerned that the chemo was damaging my nerves in my legs. I saw the oncologist yesterday however and he thiks that I just have a slipped disk (just!!). tomorrow I see the neurologist and we shall take it from there - I see scans in my future.

The good news is they finally gave me morphine - oh the bliss and the relief!

The other funny news is that as I was at the hopsital on a non chemo day it wasn't a Thursday. That means that the wig shop/office was open. I popped my head in (remembering I am doing it in a wek second language) and I got practically dragged in by the man and lady although they were closing. They plonked some on my head, gave me an expensive one to take home and try for a few days and insisted  come back tomorrow for a proper fitting for a wig. There is a sign on the wall that says 'no charge'. I assume they must just give them out and expect them back at the end but I don't know how it works. I know its a hairdresser too and they wash wigs. Its a bit exciting and a bit scary but  thought why not. I won't be wearing it all the time but it may be useful here and there and maybe for this wedding.

Having said that - I can now confirm two weeks post taxol I have fluff and stubble instead of random stubble. So strange. I also have a head of scabby excema so I won't be going out like this any time soon 🙂

Ah well, neurologist tomorrow, pain dr on Sunday, herceptin next thursday, herceptin the folowng thrusday, Oncologist the Sunday adn then Radiotherp dr in three weeks on Sunday to discuss that. The oncologist has said that he will either stop taol all togethether once my leg is sorted or he will do two more at most (not six) which for me I find to be excellent news. 

[875020079]

Hi Hazelr

That is totally awesome news, brilliant, I am grinning like an idiot here! Well done you! I'm so chuffed for you.

It's really encouraging to know that this awful gruelling chemo can be worth it, I'm so sick with it now but just hearing your news has bucked me up. You did it!

J x

[waiting]

Hi Hazeir,

That is fantastic news!  WOW it's so good to hear something positive about our treatment

It definitely is the necessary evil.

Thanks for sharing your amazing news .... get the champagne out girl!

Hope everyone recovering well and good luck to anyone having final dose next week.

Lots of Love

xx

[marli]

That is the best news Hazel. Really cheered me up and as you say will give hope to all of us who are suffering the blooming SE's that have made life difficult over last few months.

WLE and clearance will be a relief after what you expected.

Hope you are celebrating.  Lots of hugs Marli xx

[Sarahjane71]

That is such good positive news hazler and what a releif no operation all very very good reasons to celebrate so pleased for you xx as you say shows what chemo can do even though sometimes the Se are rubbish but so good to hear and share good experiences xxx

Hope everyone enjoying the sunshine today a reason to smile for sure !

This last tax chemo is taking me a little longer to get over with energy levels but a good excuse to rest in sun and read a good book xx

Have a good day ladies and here's to lots more good news xxx

[Hazelr]

Hi all, good news for a change. My MRI scan showed a pathological complete response which means the cancer has totally gone from the breast and lymph! My surgeon was completely amazed and has said that I no loner need mx indeed in I was having double. She has advised that she can do a much easier op to take a small area around where the markers were put in breast and do an snb to check lymph. It may be that I have to have them all out but she is checking them with pathology first. Hubby and I were totally speechless and I still can't quite believe it, sometimes it seems good things happen with treatment. I just wanted all of you to know that chemo can work, please pass on to anyone who us doubting the point of it. Hope you are all still enjoying the sunshine and looking forward to the thought of no more chemo yippee xxxx

[waiting]

Hay Tomcat,
Hoping you get some relief soon.
Here's another hug xx

[marli]

Oh TomCat - you are really having a difficult time. Hope you get good news from neurologist and oncologist.

Is there something other than Taxol they can give you.

Thinking of you.  Marli xx

[TomCat]

Gosh everyone is coming to the end but not me!!

So I mised taxol again today and just had herceptin but they gave me morphine too - yummy but didn't last anywhere near long enough - only aout 3 hour 😞

I am still in agony with the neuropathy in my ankle leg and hip so they wouldn't do taxol. I see the oncolgist on Sunday and the nueorlogist on Tuesday and hopefuly they will decide to can it and move to radio. I DO not want more taxol. I simply can't take it 

[marli]

sorry to hear you are still suffering Caroline. I felt quite good for my last one so am hoping 4 weeks from now will be bouncing !! lol

Been to see cardiologist this morning (he was not a people person very miserable) and it was not good news. He thought the heart had got a little worse from mild to moderate. Is putting me on 2 lots of meds -when I asked him what they would do his reply was "Make your heart better."  So was a bit disappointed as said prob no Herceptin but the decision would rest with onc as would decision for surgery be with the anesthetist. Not a lot of help.

Taste buds and fingertips changing already. Going to sit in sun and listen to the Archers!

Hope everyone is coping ok. Marli xx

[waiting]

Hi Everyone,

Hoping final treatments went ok and everyone coping so far.

Emm hope youve enjoyed some good comfy sleep and a fully submerged  bath now that your line is finally out. What a huge relief that must be for you.

Marli, sounds like you had the perfect Easter day the right side of your final treatment.

My Easter egg is still waiting for my taste buds to return.

I requested yet another sick note from my GP today and Im wondering if this will be my last. 

Im still feeling rubbish and in bed wallowing yet again but hay don't know why I expected it to be different from the previous  treatments but I somehow hoped I would be ok this time...... how wrong I was.

Trying to look forward and keep positive but wondering when the gaunt, ghostly, grey women in the mirror will turn back into the person I was....

Im loving the sunshine but not so easy to hide behind hats, scarves etc. Anyway, sorry to ramble on and on yet again and yes I know it IS THE LAST TIME but thanks for being there.

Looking forward to everyone getting to the other side and setting a date to raise a glass together.

xx

[marli]

Yes Em all went well. Still need pertuzamab and Herceptin for rest of year but that does not need any extra meds so all is good. Got loads fo medical appointments for the future month and one with solicitor regarding accident.

Your celebration sounds good. Well done Em !!!

Yes those little things like a good bath and sleeping comfortably are not appreciated until we can't do them Finding that out with this pot - difficulty putting earrings in and putting on makeup are the big bugbears at the moment.

Have a lovely evening.

Hope anyone else zapped today are well. Marli xx

[emilysss]

Hi Marli,

Hope your treatment went well today - last one done! Hurrah! Now just concentrate on feeling better - from chemo and with your wrist. Your Easter Sunday sounds lovely.

My picc line decided to play up today, so more xrays and clot-busting stuff before we could go ahead but all done now and picc line is GONE!! Looking forward to sleeping more comfortably tonight, and plenty of sploshy soapy baths. I find it odd now that I took these things for granted before.

Hope everyone has a good week - I'm getting ready to put that champagne on ice. I may even pair it with a chinese takeaway... 😄

Emxx

[marli]

YES Caroline - lets set a date for our party. Can't remember when everyone finishes this week , think someone mentioned 10th too. Of course everyone else welcome to join us.

Had all family to lunch on Sunday - everyone brought food. The weather was so good we were in  garden until 7pm and the sun went behind the house. Even managed a glass or two of wine. Really cheered me up for last one tomorrow.

Who else is being zapped tomorrow - my memory is really going. forgot my credit card number tonight !

Good luck everyone if having treatment this week.

Thank you for all the hugs when I broke wrist , although had to go to hospital Sunday morning to have pot changed as there was a lump on the inside causing a sore on palm and didn't dare risk it in view of chemo.  Marli xx

[emilysss]

Well done on making it to the finish line Caroline! I hope the SE pass soon. By all accounts we are in for some good weather this week, so some more time under the parasol is definitely in order. 

Good luck tomorrow with treatment J, and Hazel I hope the MRI goes well.

Tomcat, I'm sorry you have to wait to see someone while you are in so much pain. I hope you can find some distractions to get you through the week.

Take care all,

Emxx

[875020079]

I love the idea of us all raising a glass, that sounds great, Let's do it!
(When we've all got our sense of taste back, obv)

J x

[waiting]

Hi Everyone,

The Sunshine makes such a difference. Its beautiful here. Love springtime.

Good Luck to all you fantastic women who will be done with chemo this week.

Emm Im glad you decided to go ahead on Wednesday.

Im still feeling dreadful as just day 4 after my LAST so a way to go but it IS the last time so trying to keep positive.

Though reading about SE of hormone treatment not great either but cannot be as bad as chemo can it.

Yesterday, I sat under the parasol in the garden supervising hubby and kids tidying/pruning.sweeping etc (first time ever for kids lol) trying to keep my eyes open and make encouraging noises.... but had to give in to the dreaded SE.

Back in doors and slept for 12 hours soilid. 

Hoping  the rubbish time passes quickly as Ive got an Easter Egg with my name on it.

I will be thinking of you all next week and maybe in a couple of weeks time we should set a time to raise a glass together to mark the end of our chemo journey and to encourage those of us not quite there yet.

As always love and hugs to all December girls xxxx

[TomCat]

Don't worry about herceptin. I have it with taxol and its a breeze. Doesn't do anything. Can't believe so many people are finishing. I can't see the neurologist till a week today so I don't know what will happen but in theory had six weeks of taxol left before radio. Don't know what will happen now but the neuropathy is the same. Yuk. So painful.

[Hazelr]

Aiden turner with top off should be on NHS ! Makes me feel better every Sunday. Best wishes for this week all of you still having one more to go xx

[emilysss]

Thank you Marli, and I second that - hope everyone is having a good Easter. And Poldark tonight - any day which has Aiden Turner with his top off is a good day in my book 😉

My last treatment is Wednesday too. 

I hope your wrist is hurting less. Will it take longer to heal as you are having chemo? - just thinking about fast-changing cells being affected.

Take care all,

Emxx

[marli]

Happy Easter everyone . Hope all well and a lot of us getting ready for our last treatment.  We have done so well despite all our trials and tribulations with side-  effects (and the odd broken bone thrown in for good measure. lol)

Can't wait for Wednesday in perverse kind of way as want this over, although then have herceptin and surgery to face but at least the chemo over.

Thinking of you all on this glorious sunny day. Love Marli xx

[waiting]

Just reading back & the second bit off last post was of course for Emm but Marli you made laugh about the loose botty & broken wrist xx

[875020079]

Hey everyone, and thank you so much for all your support xx

Em - if it's any help whatsoever, a work colleague who has had extensive experience of breast cancer told me last week that I may feel worse than ever after chemo, and I think I am beginning to understand what she was talking about. Like you, I am in turmoil because I think I should be elated that chemo is coming to an end, but I do feel more depressed than ever. It seems as though I am always moaning on here, but I don't do it anywhere else.
I know exactly what you mean when you say you don't see the point in the last chemo - when I saw my oncologist yesterday and was querying his reason for reducing the last dose of 5FU he actually said that the chemo was merely 'belt and braces' while the hormone therapy was the most important thing for me. An unbelievably crass comment when I think of all I have been through with this chemo.
Please do go through with this last chemo session, we have to throw everything we've got at this. My last is Tuesday, yours is Wednesday right? Let's do this, we'll have to go through the **bleep** that follows but we'll not have to do it again.

Radiotherapy we can think about later

J xx

[marli]

Oh Emma and J - sorry to hear you are so down. I think some  oncologists are a breed apart. My first one in 2009 was not a people person although I was assured he was brilliant at his job. I never felt he understood what I meant when I asked/told him anything. This time the new one was a young woman who  was as different again - she explained everything in understandable language and was so friendly. BUT she has gone on maternity leave. New one is a youngish man but only seen him once so far and that was when he told me about the herceptin. see him again Wednesday for LAST treatment.

Good to hear so many are finishing this coming month.

Emma perhaps once you have time to think you may reconsider the radiotherapy because we really do need to throw everything at this blessed disease.

My wrist , now encased in fetching bright pink plaster is quite painful still but hope it will ease soon. As my husband said, he can't think of a worse combination than diarrhoea and a broken wrist of my dominant hand !! lol 

Keep smiling everyone we are all here for each other.  xxxx

[Hazelr]

Hi all it looks like we are all travelling on another road now chemo is finished. I hve surgery but not for 7weeks as my onc is on holiday and won't do surgery the week before her leave. I am having MRI on Tuesday to see what has happened to the tumors and then have to see her again to discuss options. Don't mind waiting for op as want to get stronger so I can recovery better, hopefully. I think rads have to wait until healed after surgery so you may not have to have it 3 weeks later, that seems a little premature and you have long journey time so you need the energy to do it. It may be hard but try and take a little control yourself and have rads when you feel up to it. Good luck xx