Hi Karen and all
I think it's so true about the exhaustion... I know we all go through all the emotions... panic, terror, with the occassional odd elated moment (when we get a clear scan or a clear node or a relatively positive bit of news) but it is all so exhausting, all of it. Sometimes I wish i could just sleep through the next six months.
Wishing us all just a bit of peace
Helen you echo everything I am thinking... I have so many friends and support but there are some things you just cant say to them or you fear they dont want to hear or you dont want to upset them or they just wont comprehend - 3 weeks ago I was unware myself...
I am struggling with the exhaustion - the sheer mental burden of everything, my thoughts weigh me down sometimes and I cant seem to turn them off - unable to plan... losing time... forgeting things... reassessing whats important... the panic and fear... I am also impatient and downright grumpy at times. I find hospital the worst bit and have had times when I am so sick of test, waiting rooms, needles and I am only at the beginning of this journey, so I wonder how I will bear it all and if I will still be me at the end of this... I try to enjoy time but find myself ticking off the days until the chemo starts.
I hate saying it, but I am also very glad I found this forum and know now that I am not alone with my thoughts and feelings, but I am shocked and saddened at how many of us are going through this...
Wishing us all success, resilience and fortitude
Diagnosed with grade 2 ductal invasive mid October.
Had surgery mid Nov with SNB.
unfortunately gotta have chemo and then axillary clearance.
Just received start date. 2nd Jan.
Happy New Year eh.
The ladies on site are great.
You are not alone. I think evryone naturally falls apart with such news.
Then you learn to deal with it bit by bit..
Day by day.
Hoping tpo have a nice Christmas then to deal with the next stage.
I have 6 sessions of FEC T then surgery then radio and Tamixifen 5 years.
Pippa I feel for you - its the thought of the unknown for me, how will I cope, will I be able to bear it and still be me/mummy... its all so surreal and I agree 2015 is going to be a very odd year...
I hope Thursday goes well for you
Chaz - this is THE worst thing and whether we like it or not we are having to deal with it - our emotions will be all over. My brain wont stop working, from everything I have to do, to ticking off what i have done, to wondering about the unknown, to dreaming about losing clumps of hair... Its a strange comfort to know that I am not alone and everyone who has found this forum, all understand how you are feeling - its a sad too to know how many of us are affected... x
I hope the clothes shopping went well - I bought pyjamas but now have to get the comfy 'leisure wear' look going on (coming from Liverpool I am gonna fit right in hehe). Sending virtual hugs - Karen x
Hey ladies, I sitting reading the posts and can relate to it all. I have grade 3 tumour 4 cms and another one grade 2 1.5 cms, with cancer in my lymph node. I am starting off on chemo then probably a mastectomy. I have had my flu jags and going to dentist tomorrow.
Ive not got a date yet for chemo but know its anytime between now and 26 December. I have purchased a bandana. For the life of me I cant imagine wearing it. My emotions are all over the place. Yes its going to be a long hard journey but one which we can share with each other and get as much support as possible. Im going shopping for comfy clothes today and warm socks.! Good luck to you all xx
Annie I hear you... You will get through it and there are lots of strong women here thinking of you x
M - I was the same re Xmas decorations but knew I needed to for my kids... in the end half a dozen of my girls came over with their kids and helped my sons put the tree up and decorate it as I couldnt face it alone. We had mince pies, goodies and Baileys 🙂 Exhausting but worth it x
Pippa - I hope today is a good day x
In the end I told my close friends and family and then announced it on Facebook - I just wanted to tell everyone in one go (I run dance/fitness classes so have many students/friends) and then answered the 200+ replies in my own time when I felt I could - exhausting, but I just couldnt face the 'How are you?', oh no... im so sorry, etc general coversations as it was like reliving the confirmation over and over...
The Facebook route isnt for everyone though haha 😉 but it helps when I meet people and I can tell they know so I dont have to say it again... Karen x
PS My tumour was 25mm when I was diagnosed on 20th Nov and it is now 45mm - its very scary!
Hi Pippa I start chemo on 30th December - diagnosed with grade III on 20th November and its looking like a long long road ahead. I have been through a range of emotions in the 2 weeks since diagnosis from positivity, to shock, to exceptional tiredness, to brief falshes of anger (I asked for genetic testing & double mastectomy in 2011 for family history and was refused), to panic and terror... and am now in up n down weepiness 😉
But this too shall pass... I have decided to keep holiday brochures on my coffee table and mentally plan where I will be booking when the worst of it is over, until then friends, family and this forum help 🙂
The terror will pass...
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums where I am sure you will receive lots of good, honest support from the many informed users of this site.
Please don't be afraid to ask anything, there's always someone around to help, plus our helpline team are just a free phone call away if you need to talk to someone in person and in confidence. 0808 800 6000 lines open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2