I am having my 'good time' at the mo. I did a boot sale yesterday, which totally tired me out but it was good to be out and doing.
going shopping for pleaseure today! have M&S vouchers.
I get the long weekend before going down again on Tuesday.
Hope you that are 4 days behind me are doing ok now.
I will see if the rest of my hair falls out today, it was at this point in the first cycle that most of it went. I now have a grade 7 very sparse cover. Still not worn the wig - I am into hats at the moment. I have ordered another wig off e-bay, it is coming from China but seems to have less hair than the one I got here.
bye for now gill
Hi all - Gill - I did the wet shave bit too - she said guiltily and then read that this is a no no - so just kept head down and shut up - so glad I did tho' - have plenty of hats and look forward to seeing what I get in the hair lucky dip at the end of this! Hope you're not finding it too frustrating with cold cap etc Ann - but bald isn't bad actually and I rather like my new title of Granny Baldy! Went to a funeral on Fri and wedding reception Sat - looking forward to a quiet week now before third blast next week - feeling decidedly BAAB - love to all and keep posting as I love hearing from you and anyone else in the same boat!
I decided I had had enough of etchasketch head after I had razored my hair down, and went for a (I know it's frowned on) wet shave yesterday! I made my decisions on how my head felt and it was getting more and more uncomfortable so kinda glad it's defo gone now!
Good luck with your choice (!)
Had no 2 on Tuesday, no sickness this time got to grips with the anti sickness took one before I left the hospital and that seemed to fend it off. Felt BAAB yesterday but couldn't get to sleep last night so KATT today. Finding the chemo hard spent 6 hours in the unit again they had a problem getting bloods back, and with the added time using the cold cap the day dragged on. Still loosing lots of hair wondering if I am wasting my time, going to have amy hair cut short tomorrow as am sick of being covered in hair and picking hair off everything. No one else con tell it's thinning so still unsure if it is working or not.
Hope you are all doing ok.
Well done Neleh for getting half way though this nonsense!
We all seem to be getting on womanfully with everything..
I just wish my mouth would sort itself out...wasn't this bad last time I don't think? Pineapple a gogo but even so, maybe brandy .....
see you all later
Oh and meant to say. Saw onc yesterday and she said that when I get to number 5 they'll start sorting out my radiotherapy for when I've finished. I'll have 6 weeks - every other day - so one week it'll be Monday, Wednesday, Friday and the next week it'll be Tuesday and Thursday. 5 weeks on the whole breast and then one week concentrated on the area where the tumour was. Unless there's a long delay before I start it I should be done by Christmas. Fingers crossed. Quite pleased to have reached the half way mark!
Number 3 yesterday and feeling ok. Was a bit nauseous (sp?) last night as think I didn't take my drugs quite early enough. But soon got over it. Woke at 5:45 this morning with OH going to work. Couldn't get back to sleep as I was sooooooooooo hungry which seems to be usual for me the day after. Bit of heartburn but generally BAAB. Hope you're all well too?
Hi all - feeling decidedly BAAB today (Bright As A Button) after days of feeling KATT ( Knackered All The Time) How about the rest of you - BAAB or KATT?
Watched daughter, Emily< rocking with her band on Sat - called Fullerenes - if you want to hear more you can google them on my space or just google Emily Maughan - any A&R people out there?????
New hats arrived in the post today - I was showing them off to a friend who said of one -" That's a really good hat to wear to the wedding on Saturday." (of mutual friend's daughter) To which I replied "No I'm not going to the wedding ceremony - just the evening do so I won't need a hat." Then I remembered I'm bald - ho hum! It is a great hat for a wedding reception!
Anyway - please do keep in touch and look forward to hearing any exciting news or even that you feel like sh**e - get it off your chest - whoops - sorry - love to all and take care Cxx
Thanks for that I vaguely remember being told that by someone and SHOCK had forgotten, getting very forgetful lately.
Lots of love
just a note to say I was told under no circumstances to take paracetamol as it can lower your temperature and mask any infection that may have started. Prufen is OK tho.
I only know because I have had a headache since hour one of Epi and was told not to take ANY painkillers, so suffered away then was told it was only paracetamol I had to avoid!
Best of luck
Hi Ann - good luck with vit C - I've just added a post on sore mouth thread- but think I'd go for vit c! I didn't have cold cap as felt there wasn't a good enough guarantee that it would work and justify an hour at either side of treatment when I already have to travel for an hour - and I hate ice cream headaches - and they say you have to keep warm to get veins up and .....I don't mind being Granny baldy/
Mine started coming out in handfuls on 14th day after first zap - and continues at a rate of knots - when no longer allowed on the furniture - got OH to clip it and then shave it - quite liberating - and not got wig - prefer hats - just ordered a few more from Headstrong in the states - probably open a hatshop on ebay when it all over!
Anyway lots of love to you and all xxxxx
Am going to get myself some vitamin C tablets tomorrow, don't think I am brave enough to try the bicarb!! Rang the chemo ward a couple of days ago and they have given me some tablets to take for 2 weeks ( fluconazole ) that seem to be helping with the ulcers but feel like I have constant tooth ache still, thank goodness for paracetamol and ibuprofen!!
Have tried the cold cap on day 17 after 1st session and have lots of hair coming out today, not sure if it's normal to loose a lot this early on ( no one else would know ). Can anyone who hasn't tried the cold cap explain how it normally happens, does it all come out within a couple of days or does it take a while. My lady fluff has nearly all disapeared, but leg hair and blonde fluffy arms and face ( tash and burners lol ) are still stuck firm.
Hope the sun shines at the weekend.
Hi all: mouth ulcers - if they are little ones, I use my Mum's old remedy - my onc says this is fine - bicarbonate of soda. Dip wet finger into bicarb, apply to ulcer. Hold on to table, when you come off the ceiling it will zap the thing!! Hurts lilke hell, but I've used it since I was a kid and it does work.
Papaya is another mouth cleaner - it contains an enzyme used to tenderize meat - yuk. But eating some - not too much - will clean the inside of your mouth.
I've just finished the 4 Epi and am waiting to start the CMF on 19 Aug - taste buds back in action and, I've been very very llucky with side effects - none apart from the hair thing and taste buds. Don't know if this will last but fingers and everything else crossed. Not thinking about rest of it - rads, tamoxifen, herceptin and God knows what else - one thing at a time.
Love to all, keep well and have a good weekend - even if it rains.
am having my 2nd ac-t next thurs cant wait. Not been too bad on 1st one just constipation on first week, otherwise ok. Prunes in cupboard and prune juice at the ready, may have them with custard tho cos overdosed last time and dont think i could eat them cold turkey. Have just collected wig. Bearable I suppose but will need a couple of stiff drinks to go out in it, oh dear, we arent meant to drink are we? Hair still on head but getting a bit loose. I chopped up a fresh pineapple last week into chunks and froze them, I wonder if this would help with the sore mouth problem? Am going to chill out with the Olympics for a bit now,
Lots of good wishes n hugs to all
Ann - I used the cold cap and it's only been this week (I should have had my 2nd FEC on Wednesday) that I've started to moult! Thankfully not alot but if I run my fingers through my hair, hair is now coming out. I've got thick hair so am hoping it will just thin and I'm planning on using the cold cap again next week. I'm even having my hair cut this afternoon as it's reached desperation point - it's looking a right mess at the moment as previously decided not to get it cut thinking it would all fall out. But now, even if I end up completely bald next week, I don't care. I'm going to get it cut to make me feel better now!!
Anyway, still feeling fine because my FEC no. 2 was delayed on Wednesday to next week. Had my blood tests done in the morning at the hospital and then it came back saying the "neutrophil" count was too low at 0.84. Hacked off as I was really psyched up to have it and be prepared to feel sick all over again and I just want to get this chemo finished as quickly as possible really. But at least I know I need to watch out abit more so I don't catch anything - I've felt really well this last week so never imagined that my count would be that low. Thankfully they've said that I will have the chemo whatever next week as even if it's low again, they can give me something to boost the count.
On the plus side I've now got another "good" week and have planned things with friends that I'd thought I wouldn't be able to do. So feeling BAAB today!
For those of you not feeling good at the moment and suffering abit.........sending you lots of hugs.
hi Nel - good to hear from you and that you are BAAB - will think of you on Monday - let us know how you fare.
Gill - really hope things are picking up for you - your lovely husband sounds to be doing a great job!
Ann - just remembered the chemo nurse suggested getting those large vitamin C tablets and breaking it into quarters and putting then on your ulcers and let it fizz away there - might be worth a try? Hope it helps.
I'm still KATT and with a bit of loss of taste - but certainly could be worse! I got Lactulose this time for the dreaded bungeduppinesss and it has been a great relief! getting used to be being bald - though sometimes am surprised when I look in the mirror and Gollam is staring back!
Lots of love to you all - hope about the rest of you who were posting - long time no hear - hope that's cos you're doing fine?
Keep in touch - thinking of you all! xxx
I'm BAAB but then number 3 is on Monday - going for my blood tests this morning. Been to work all week and felt fine.
Ann - my hair started to fall out around about day 17 after first session without the cold cap. And continued to thin until day 12 of number 2 when it just looked silly so we shaved it all off. Don't really know what you should expect with the cold cap.
Chebsy - hope you're not KAAT for too long and that's all you suffer with.
Gill - hope your horribleness passes soon.
Hugs all round
Hi Gill and Ann - sorry you so rough - poor wee souls - sending lots of love and to everybody else too! xxxxx
Next session next Tuesday. Have been feeling a bit crap today mouth full of ulcers, massive one on the end of my tongue and headache from hell. Thought I had gotten off lightly only feeling poorly for 3 days after, wasn't expecting anything nearly 3 weeks on.
It looks like BAAB is a long way off for a few of us.
Hair is starting to shed day 17 now, not sure if the cold cap has worked as I don't know if it should have fallen out by now or not does anyone know?
Lots of love.
Hope some of you are feeling wel,l and the ones who aren't pick up fast.
I am uck today - lots of sorry for myself and crying
Thank goodness I have a lovely husband who feeds me!
will start to improve tomorrow.
Well - into feeling KATT Knackered All The Time) fine day of chemo and day after - but nothing else bad - so I guess I'm lucky - third of the way through FEC - can't be bad! How's about the rest of you - all been very quiet???
Love and hugs xxxxx
Lo lovelies - jusy off to Truro for number two - appropriate name for it - getting pumped full of s***. Anyway - had lovely weekend with Mani - grandson (6 months) we bonded even more - my bald head makes me look like just a big version of him - given myself a new name - sounds like a biscuit - Baldy Granny! ( Oh it should be Granny Baldy - that's better) Love to those having a blast this week and to all of you - must go Porridge is boiling over - that's me lining my stomach as my Mum would have said!
And yes I have drunk loads of water - thank you for asking - Still BAAB!
I never thought about nose hair - must have look! 🙂
My wig has a name on the label
Audrey - very suitable, I have not worn he rout yet and only manage short times in side. I have a knitted wind round thing on at the moment - feels comfortable.
Just had Epi no 2, so that is a third of the way though, not looking forward to the week, but going to take it steady this time!
I'm still BAAB and wishing you all luck with number 2 this week.
OH shaved my hair (or what remained anyway) on Friday night - we started quite long and got shorter and shorter and I now have a number 2 all over. I'm really surprised that I actually quite like it although I'm not brave enough to go outside with it, except into the garden. Like Chebsy, I also feel quite powerful with it short - I'm usually so girly but quite proud of my newly found baldness. And it feels lovely to touch... I spend hours touching my own head!! I am still managing to shock myself - I honestly thought I'd fall to pieces having it shaved but it actually looks better than it did when it was a bit longer but patchy and really quite like it. Not sure I'd choose to have it like this, but seeing as I have no choice I've decided to embrace it.
My wig and I (she's now called Florence) went out for the first time on Thursday and I've worn it all weekend and am at work today wearing it and everyone has commented on how good my hair looks... not sure who knows it's a wig and who doesn't! It's not too bad, but starts to itch a bit after hours and hours of wearing it... I wore it for 11 hours on Saturday and was sooooo glad when I could take it off. Looking forward to getting home from work this evening and taking it off. Worried a bit about whether it'd fly off in the wind, but it proved itself and stayed firmly stuck to my head which I'm very glad about.
Legs, underarms and bikini line are now hair free since I shaved them last weekend - they haven't grown back. Also have a constantly runny nose... is that cos my nose hair has disappeared?
Hope you all have an uneventful week - I'll be thinking of you. I'm ready and waiting for number 3 on Monday... bring it on!
I'm new to this, but it's heart warming to read everyone's comments - thank God none of the treatment takes away our sense of humour! It's weird what you can laugh at - but fortunately I have a few friends who can laugh with me. What would we do without female friends at times like these?
I've not got loads to add, but two doses of FEC on I have a few thoughts which might be useful;
- since I'm at home much more (though trying to work a bit) I have started having an organic veg box delivered - it helps me in a number of ways; it's quite exciting to see what comes in ti (hoe sad is that!), its lovely fresh stuff and i feel like it's doing me good, and it makes me cook - cos i want to find lots of nice things to do with it/go with it. Just a thought.
- can't reiterate enough the pineapple helping with funny taste and sore mouth - got myself one of those natty corers - brilliant - Vac-u-Vin do one and i think good old Lakeland.
- also old fashioned sour cherry drops.
- my hair is starting to fall out too - i have made the acquaintance of my wig - known as Ginger Jill to my friends - but we haven't been out in public yet! I did have the cold cap both times - but have a small head - and it has stayed on as a halo around the edge, with no hair in the middle! But I'm going to keep having it as apparently it can help to keep eyebrows and lashes - if not I'll be back for more advice!
Have a good week guys - and thanks for being out there for me
good luck with red devil No. 2!!!
I hope you are OK tomorrow and manage to divert your brain. I find I can't read at all...keep trying things and can't get into them. Started I Claudius...print too small. Started Wuthering Heights...too romantic. Started somehting else...so boring I can't remember what it was. So trying a Terry Pratchet, hopefully light enough to engage me.
Knackered too tonight so made a large effort to get the curry in the oven and can now sit back and wait...and wait...
Remember to eat loads, drink loads and keep sucking those lollies.
MY wig looks and feels weird - I think I will stick to scarves and things.
my husband and son say they don't care what I have on my head or not.
Oh choice - I suppose it is one of the few we have at the moment!
2nd Epi tomorrow - if bloods ok - which I am not convinced they will be cos I am SO tired. got DVDs in this time as I could not concentrate to read last time - wonder if it will be the same?
was hoping to look like that bird out of Terminator but look more like a cross between Bruce Willis and Guy the gorilla! OH says it's quite sexy so I am worried he might be gay after all.
Got hammered while doing it so paying the price today.
Made myself some wraps and scarves today, no chance of them blowing off..stick to velcro style head very well.
Going to paint a smile on my forehead and take pictures of me upside down for a laugh. have already taken one of a potato with a face painted on it and sent it to friends and family to prepare them.
Off out tonight to a show...so will be rave.
good for you too Chebsy....wish we could see each other!
Love and powerhugs all round
Hi Gillian - so how did it go ? Just got Oh to take off my hair - looks and feels weird but was getting fed up of moulting everywhere - I look like a very powerful woman - so I am going to be one---------power to us all - good vibes and love too!
Just think Skunk Ananse (sp?) I wish I looked as powerful and strong...think I will just look like an alien. Right here I go, got a bottle of gin and the OH's razor. Going to sit in the bath and weep as I shave it off. My head hurts and if I pull a hair it just comes away so why wait?
This is day 14 for those who are comparing notes!
Love to all, hic....
Hi Gillian - good to hear from you on here and sounding so positive - now going to search out baldy women - my hair dropping out at a rate of knots - not that its got any knots its so short! Thinking of just getting daughter to shave it ....at weekend if there's any left - she's got hair she could just about sit on - .rock chick daughter got gig in village tomorrow night with band Fullerenes will be packed and I'm determined to go - need a sign that says "I'm doing great but please don't hug me - I don't want your filthy germs!" - how to lose friends and alienate people! You getting wig- I'm not - going to bald and proud /////well ...bald....
Sorry about your haircut Chris - or lack of it - should think it''ll be ok to try wigs though as will give you a good idea of the new you!
signing off feeling BAAB - and scratching Chebs x
My last post looks a bit weird as a link I had put in, to a book of good looking baldy women, is not allowed. No probs, there are lost of good examples out there. Most of these hollywood ladies wear wigs anyway I'm told.
may I join you for a while?
being a bit of a thread tart and spreading it about a bit lately!
I am 14days past 1st Epi and feeling good, hair is still clinging on up top, but not down below that's for sure.
Now let's get this straight...some of you are feeling guilty?????Tut tut, if it helps at all, I'm feeling pretty good at the mo, "coping admirably" with adversity, and bloomin glad too. Please promise me that you will attempt to enjoy the time off work? I'm sure that no-one on the planet would begrudge us some "me " time after all the things we have had to go through.
Can I recommend looking at it has some great pictures of baldy women, that Penelope Cruz might have lovely shiny hair....but she has still got a big nose. sorry...feeling naughty!
Off to wrap sellotape round my head for the evening
Hairdresser rang in sick again, so my hair is not to be cut. Will try n see if any1 can do it early tomorrow or will have to stuff it under when trying wigs on, Going to find nice crusty, soft dough loaf... get the picture... n raid the fridge.
Hi Chris -Know al about CRAFT moments! Hope you have a happy haircut - I got my buffs from - I make them into beanies - if you log on to the site there is a demo of ways to wear a buff and when you order you get a DVD to show you this. If you order and don't like pattern etc - just email them and they tell you how to go about returning etc - freepost back to them and they will re-send your new choice for nothing- I got three but only liked one - rechose and got two I love - trouble is - so does my daughter - she wears them as hairband - thinks they are really trendy! Let us know how you get on with results.
Happy healing to you Ann - know what you mean about having a bath - hopefully won't be too long before you can have luscious bubbly steep!
Helen - how about JABO - Just A Bit Off? - no sounds like an out of date kipper - perhaps not a bad description!
Love to all - Mrs Moultalot a
Have bought buffs for warmth and cosiness, but I look like I am going skiing in them not a good look for July really!!! so I would say beanies. If you put buffs in google there is a website called buffs ( something? ) they have some nice plain ones I got cream to go with anything and light blue for jeans, about Â£12.99 each. I think they might be available from motorbike shops also. There is a website really cheap bandanas Â£3.99 + 2.00 delivery, and an American site ( I think ) that sell lots of nice beanies hats and caps.
OK, BUFFS V BEANIES,what is the difference (yes I know I'm sad) n where do I get some from. R they in local shops or only via the net. Nice idea of having tatoos on head but think u may have to wait a while. Perhaps we could just have people scrawl all our new found acronyms across our baldness!!! ... now that would give em something to do! Picked up a bit mentally today, thanks to all of you, been to hosp 4 xray on spine, will ring tomorrow 4 results. All ironing done and now on here, not allowed myself to lay on bed yet. Haircut at 5 i hope (as she cancelled tues as she was being sick!!!) Still hard to drink drink drink, any1 else find that. I used to love my coffee but now have binned cows milk and am putting rice milk in but it doesnt quite have the same pull. Dont want to use soya because of oestrogens (?) GG (golly gosh) i am learning so much new stuff. Shame about my CRAFT moments... cant remember a f thing (sorry 4 that)... get worse as I get older!
take care all,
Got stitches out on Tuesday the inside has healed but still open on the outside, so hubby had a massive supply of steri strips and keeps it nipped together. Hopefully in a few more weeks I can have a proper bath rather than sitting in water and using a sponge ( horrible, horrible, horrible ). I miss my baths so much it was always a good time to reflect and chill, so looking forward to that.
Like a lot of you I am really bored being at home am going to try to get back into cooking, I normally only cook in winter bbq all summer long!!
I do feel like a bit of a fraud, but have decided after trying to be as before and failing that this is the first time in years that it's all about me. I am going to use this to spend time with my family and friends that I have neglected due to lack of time and energy for years. You have all probably been the same hardly time to return a text, life just whizzing by ( no more ). Have started looking into holidays and mini breaks for next year shows at Christmas and having friends over between chemos, all the things that were rushed and pushed into life before. It's a good opportunity so I'm not going to feel guilty, and neither should any of you.
Hi all - lovely to hear from you all and what everybody is going through- it really is my escape- you can rant, rave giggle,question, cry,moan, be Baab or KAAT ( or BUP -nice one Chris - The acronym - not the Bupping!}- you can do all these things and more and everybody else on here knows how you feel......unlike the reall world!
I was told hair would start to go on 14th day and hey presto- started shedding on that day as if programmed. Could#ve had cold cap in Truro but decided against it as it puts extra time in and it's an hour's drive - anyway I decided that life is full of new experiences and had never in wildest dreams anticipated being bald - so there's another one I'll be able to tick off - never anticipated getting a new nipple for Christmas either - boy isn't life exciting - how many people do you know that are getting a nipple and hair for Christmas?? - hope they don't appear in the same place together! As you can guess - I am decidely BAAB - not getting a wig either - going to just wear beanies or buffs turned into beanies - I wear wee hats lots anyway so people in village used to that - did try a bandanna but it was so not me - I looked like an ageing hippy saddo that was having chemo! Other people look great in them tho'
Going to see Oncyman tomorrow (think that sounds more affectionate and pleasurable than full title} Just wants to check how I was after first treatment I guess so I'm using it as an excuse to go to big shops - not a lot round here!
Then second blast on Tuesday..............nuff said on that!....like you Sarah I feel so good that I feel a fraud when everyone is so lovely - but hey.....I'm worth it - love to all - keep posting.....now going to have a play on chitchat thread - anybody tried it - good fun and makes you think a bit -
Cheers Chebsy xx
How's the back Ann?
Hi Everyone and welcome to Sarah. I felt like you did at first, spent ages reading all sorts of threads before I got the courage to post. I also know exactly how you feel on the fraud front as well, even though I did suffer a bit last time, I have felt fairly normal for about the last 10 days or so (except for the hair loss, but thats another story!) and have felt a fraud for not going to work, as I intended to have the week after chemo off and then go back for the next 2 weeks in between.However, I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have a possibly life threatening illness and am going through the rigours of getting rid of it (surgery, chemo etc etc) and I need to take a bit of time for myself and stop thinking about everyone else. The main reason I felt guilty about not going to to work, is I know they are massively busy at the moment, but as I say I have finally come to terms with the fact that that isn't my problem at the moment and I have bigger fish to fry. So...my advice would be to cherish the good days, don't feel bad about doing things you enjoy if you feel ok and keep trying to put yourself first. Again, this is a bit problematic especially for women as I think you spend most of your time (well I do anyway) making sure everyone else is ok and all is running smoothly, so I'm not saying its easy (I have found it very difficult) but keep trying.
I think the hair thing is very difficult, and again I felt exactly the same about worrying about losing it...very vain and shallow. But it IS important, why wouldn't it be? I also had, and still am having, the same reaction to adverts for hair products on the TV and in magazines - can't bear to watch and feel quite upset and almost resentful. So, you aren't alone in how you are feeling, which I know doesn't make the feeling any less, but it might help to know that others are feeling the same (if that makes sense!). As Nel says, once you have come to terms with it it helps to have a bit of a laugh about it if you can, for example I have given mine a name (Mrs Wiggington) and I talk to it e.g. "come on Mrs Wiggington lets have an outing to Tesco" - it may be that the chemo and not working has sent me bonkers, but I find it helps!
On the BAAB and KAAT front, maybe we should invent another one for somewhere in between, as thats how I feel at the moment! Can't think of anything short enough as it would be nice to keep the four letter format...what about ABGT (A Bit Grotty Today)...doesn't quite roll off the tongue like the others, so any suggestions welcome!
Ok I really am rambling now, time to go I think. I have my day before chemo blood test in a bit, oh the joy. Who says us BC girls don't have anything to look forward to?!!
Love to all, Helen xxx
day 8 after 1st act. Have initially had BUPS (BUNGED UP PROBLEMS!!!) prunes sorted that out for a while, now cant face one ever again, even cov ered in custard!. Yday feeling lethargic, bored, eating too much comfort food, struggling to drink (am sick of force drinking), think I will find it hard to fill my days, each one seems forever. Went to bed early, up several times, loo, drink, dogs etc. Up now as I need to get to hosp to have xray on spine n knee as bone scan showed a few blipps. Not overly worried about that yet as I did a lot of running in my 40's, hope its just wear n tear of a middle aged body!!! Am havin hair cut this pm ready for a wig fitting tomorrow in town with my daughter. Hair still in tact but prob not for much longer. Am fortunate that I too havnt been sick, am waiting for side effects, am a bit shaky emotionally but try to kick myself up the rear. Must get moving to hosp b4 the bged calls me back!!!
Welcome Sarah - glad you posted. I lurked for a while too but now I find myself logging on and looking for this thread to see who's BAAB or KATT. Today I'm BAAB again. Also, don't feel like a fraud, although I have had the same feeling, expecially when you read on here about how people are really suffering. I've not really suffered at all with my two treatments so far. The doctor I saw also didn't think I'd suffer too much - I'm in my early 30's and generally fit and well, so I'm hoping it stays this way for the other 4. I haven't had any sickness, just generally a bit tired for a few days. But, it's good to keep up with people going through everything at about the same time. I'm a couple of weeks ahead of most - can't believe that in 10 days I'll be on number 3 and half way through - yee-ha!
I've not used the cold cap as it's not available at my unit. My H started making a departure on day 16 after the first treatment. I was at work and ran my fingers through my hair and realised I'd pulled some out. I now look like a dandelion (day 11 after no 2) and today is the first day my power wig is coming out (the box it comes in calls it hair power!) and I'm going to wear it out in public. I practiced wearing it last night to see how long I could wear it before I'd had enough of it. Next week will be a test as I'm going to work and going to have to wear it all day. I dreamt last night that I was going for my next treatment and forgot to put it on! I was worried about loosing my hair (moreso than having the surgery etc), which sounds awful, but I've definitely come to terms with it and me and OH have a light-hearted approach and laugh at the fact my hair is *everywhere* but on my head... on the sofa, in the bed, on the kitchen floor...
Hope everyone is well?
Feel exactly as you do about the hair, have tried the cold cap too ( day 8 ). You can't really believe that it's going to go can you, trying not to build my hopes up but desperatly want it to hold on.
Glad you finally posted, it's good fun a lot of the time really helps to lighten all of the bad stuff.
Don't feel like a fraud you've had BC even if you don't feel unwell you have had your life threatened, you deserve not to feel like crap all of the time.
Ann ( BAAB today )
2 acronyms on this thread (courtesy of Chebsy I think) worth knowing
BAAB = Bright as a button
KATT = Knackered all the time
I've been reading all your comments over the last week or so and it's been lovely to hear you all being so positive despite some of you having such a tough time. I've been really reluctant to post (finally doing it after a couple of large glasses of red wine) because I feel abit of a fraud at the moment as I feel like I've escaped so lightly after day14 of my first FEC.
Felt very sick for the first 4/5 days but otherwise just minor symptoms really......wind, alittle constipation, a funny numb feeling in my tongue, and my memory seems to have gone alittle bit haywire (although that might just be because I'm now not working!?!) The worst thing I've had to deal with is an infection in my ankle/lower leg - they put the canula in my foot for SNB+Standard biopsy early July (as neither arm could be used) and it's been sore ever since. Only after 2nd visit to my GP this week am I now on antibiotics. Just hope it clears before next chemo on 6th.
Thankfully no hair loss yet up top but maybe too early to tell how this will pan out?? - I used the cold cap. Have some buffs at the ready and a wig ready to order if need be. I know that deep down I'm worried about this cos about a week ago I just burst into tears after a night of watching constant TV adverts for hair colouring and other products. Just kept seeing all these women with lovely healthy shiny hair and all I could think was, well, that's not going to be me for a long long time. Yep, pretty pitiful really but I think it's finally dawned on me on how much losing my hair actually means to me. Sounds really shallow doesn't it but I can't help it. Probably not helped by the fact that I've definitely put on weight since stopping work! (steriods or just too much comfort food??)
So all in all, feel abit in limbo at the moment - sometimes guilty that I'm not working when feeling ok and so that I should be doing more at home. On the one hand when I see people they say how well I look and then on the other hand I'm getting flowers from people who haven't seen me, and they're saying they're thinking of me and hoping I'm feeling ok etc. Just feel a fraud!! And I'm very aware that this may change at any moment. Anyone else had these feelings at any point?
Anyway, enough of my far too long ramblings. Hope that you're all feeling BAAB tonight!
Hugs to you all
I'm BAAB again today too.
It's so funny (in a wierd way) - I too couldn't resist pulling at my hair once I realised it came out when I did it. When it wasn't noticeable I'd be talking to friends about it and just to prove it was coming out I'd say "look" and pull a bit and it'd come out and they'd be shouting at me not to do it. I washed it again this morning and lost a load more and still look like a dandelion! Keep checking my underarms and don't think it's growing back after I shaved it the other day... they're still smooth which is unusual after 4-5 days.
Helen - sorry you felt so awful after the last one and hope they can sort out more effective drugs this time. After both lots of treatment I've found that on day 7-8 I feel really light-headed and dizzy - guess this must be to do with low immune system/white cells etc (just guessing). Also know what you mean about not really looking forward to next one but also not wanting it to be cancelled. I caught a cold just before my second one and was quite worried that they'd delay the second lot, but luckily when I went for my blood tests all was ok.
Been reading various posts today and it does seem that treatment varies from one area to another. Some seem to have blood tests at varying times during their treatment and what info they're told. In Worcestershire I go for my blood test the day before treatment but as treatment is on a Monday I go for bloods on Friday. We also don't get told what level they're at (I know some people are told this) - I was just told that everything was fine and ok to go ahead. Maybe if they'd been worse they might've mentioned it? Just wondered what others do and are told?
Will think of you on Friday Helen.
I too am BAAB, but dreading Friday when I have another dose. Hoping it will be better but really scared this time, moreso than the first just because I don't want to feel as bad. Whoever said things are easier to deal with when you know what to expect was fibbing in this case!
Chebsy - my hair started to go on about day 12 and I couldn't resist pulling it out in chunks! Very bizarre. By day 14 I was so fed up of leaving a trail of hair behind me (and what hair I had looked pants) so I gave myself a No.4 all over. One thing I have discovered is it is very difficult to shave your own head, especially when you discover that your hair grows in about 90 different directions on your head! Its very patchy now, some very bald spots so I buzzed it down to a No.2. Feels very strange I don't recognise the person looking back at me when I catch a glimpse in the mirror. Feel very ugly at the moment, although everyone insists I'm not but I know thats out of love, and doesn't really help as I know its me that has to come to terms with this. I know we are more than the sum of our body parts/hair etc. but with one boob, a huge scar and now no hair, don't feel at all feminine or attractive any more.
On the Manuka honey front, I feel a bit cheated as I ordered mine on line and paid Â£21 for a pot! I had no idea Tesco sold it, but then I didn't do much research so its my own fault. I feel doubly cheated as I don't like honey so I've spent lots of money on something I don't even like! Huh! It does help the sore mouth though which of course is the idea so I can't really complain (although I appear to be doing so anyway!).
Got another dose on Friday and absolutely dreading it. Really hope they can sort me some more effective drugs out. Although I feel a bit dizzy and lightheaded today, so knowing my luck I'll have got an infection at the 11th hour and I won't be able to have chemo, which weirdly would be even worse! Blimey theres no pleasing some folks is there, don't want chemo but don't want it to be cancelled even more!
Love to all, hope you are all ok. Helen xx