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Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

81 REPLIES 81
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi,
Rosie finally got her results yesterday. I'll be posting it up under the 'Newly Diagnosed with Breast Cancer' section, unfortunately…
tracyld
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hello Bob and Rosie,
How are you both doing ? I have been thinking about you. Love Tracy xxx
Sandra51
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hello Bob

I'm so pleased to hear that Rosie is resting well and she sure has a diamond in you to take care of her. I have been following your thread with interest..Im new to this site myself so still find it difficult to post about myself.. I have my operation on the 27th also the sentinel nodes biopsy so Im dreading it.. 6 weeks is definately a long time to wait... its drove me crazy with 3 weeks!!..i asked for a written summary from my consultant on the day I got my results as I just knew I wouldnt remember anything by the time I came out of his office... had a letter last Friday which blew me away.. Im finding it hard to know that you have still got to wait to determine what it is..but reading through your posts the positiveness and forward way you have coped is amazing.. without the love and support of my husband who just knows when I need a hug is brilliant.. I dont even have to say a word... wishing you and Rosie all the very best what ever path you go down xxx
vivtwins1
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob

Glad it all went so well. I know exactly about that dehydrated feeling it's horrible. I was in hospital 9 days the last time and even drinking loads all the time, I still managed to come out dehydrated and it took about a week to feel fine again!

I can't answer the question about lumps hard or benign. I was an avid checker and missed the 6cm one in my upper breast!

Keep us posted when you get the results.

Love and best wishes

Viv xxx
keyfeatures
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Oh, and you can have calcifications that are hard lumps in breast. This is what they thought mine probably was but it did show as cancer on the core biopsy, so I knew there was cancer prior to my operation. Until you get that definite diagnosis, I think it's fair enough to hold out hope.
keyfeatures
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob - it really is awful how they keep you waiting. I was called at 7.15 am for my 'day' surgery but didn't go into the operation until 6pm! THere was no indication of where I was on the list so I was on edge for hours. When they tested me I was so dehydrated the nurse asked if I was diabetic - but no drip was offered. I was nil by mouth including water for almost an entire day. I was home by 9pm but found I couldn't urinate (they didn't check before discharging me) so ended up back in A&E on a catheter and had to have another general the next day due to haematoma. Then a three week wait for results. Luckily the chemo side of things has been less stressful and more organised but it did shake my trust in the hospital for a long time.
Wishing you and Rosie all the best
Nicola x
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hello everyone,
Thanks again for your best wishes. You're all lovely people.
This is just a note to say that Rosie's lumpectomy went fine last Friday and she is recuperating well. She's doing better than both of us had thought and is not even in that much pain. She was obviously totally zonked for a day or so but was soon up and about and getting on with things.
We were kept waiting at the hospital for a long time. Rosie was allowed a sip of water no later than 7am but was not operated on until 2pm, so had 7 hours in a toasty waiting room with zero water. By the time she was called she was so dehydrated they had to put her on a drip! Not impressed. But still, it's done. That nasty little lump (whatever it is) is out.
We will not get the results for 2 weeks. By that time we will have waited 6 weeks in total just to find out what it is! That's a long time to wait to find out if you have cancer, and possibly an aggressive cancer. We are coping by keeping busy and by getting things done. Rosie is an amazing person and I have nothing but love and admiration for the way she is handling this.
The consultant is fantastic, a really good man. As I said before he is sufficiently concerned about the look of it to think that it probably is a malignant growth, although he did say that they do get it wrong from time to time.
I wonder how many women have had hard, irregular lumps in their breasts that have turned out to be benign? Can women have calcium deposits in their breast ducts that build to become hard, irregular lumps? Or am I just clutching at straws?!
Bob
x
vivtwins1
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie!
How did Friday go? You were both in my thoughts.

Hope it all went well and Rosie is home and tucked up recovering.

Fingers crossed for the biopsy results. Just be there for her as you have been doing and you can't go wrong. This next 2 weeks are the worst, but as someone said don't rehearse for bad news. You will take whatever you are told and will deal with it as bravely as you both have already.

Sending love and good wishes.

Viv xxx
Hay123
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi bob
Ive read you thread and I hope all has gone well today with rosie, I've thought of her many times today. I myself am going through a horrible time. Biopsy came back aytpical ductal hyperphasia going towards low dcis. The wait is awful and totally get where you are coming from. I may have to have a masectomy sometime soon as area is quite big. Life moves along but you are stood still in a horrible nightmare. Hopefully today is a day closer to getting Rosie sorted and you can get on planning your family. Roll on happier times for both of us. I wish Rosie a speedy recovery after her op and take care of yourself too.Sending you both lots oflove.
Emma
tracyld
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Thats good I am pleased you have a plan of action for yourself Bob and yes every woman likes a clean home and a fresh vase of flowers in place. It will keep you busy and help you focus your thoughts, put some of your favourite music on and sing along if you can. Rosie will be well looked after.
Lots of love and healing thoughts to you both Tracy xxx
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Thank you for your good wishes for today. I'm taking Rosie off to hospital in about half an hour.
Irishdancer - Wow that's an amazing story! Congratulations and thanks. Rosie doesn't really want to talk about it that much. It doesn't seem to help her. I guess we're all different!
Tracy - We have the Sudoku book and plenty to read. I'll stay with her there as long as the staff will allow. I'm then going home to buy some flowers and to clean the house from top to bottom. I know she'll like that!
Cackles - Hi and thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. The support staff and members on BCC and the forums are fantastic and are really helping me.
X
Cackles
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Bob and Rosie,
I have lurked and read all the postings on your forum thread. They leave little else to be said other than we are all thinking of you both. Don't forget to ring the Helpline if you have any worries .... as you say they are a superb resource. My husband was put in contact with a Peer Supporter by them and he found chatting to another man whose wife had been through similar treatment to me such a help. He tells me he will volunteer to be one when they consider a new "intake"Ii think it has to be after a couple of years from my diagnosis.
Rosie might at some stage feel she is ready to join the Forums, especially if she needs chemotherapy. The " Having chemo in August" group I belonged to all met at the end of treatment. Some came with husbands or partners and we all had a fun hotel weekend. We all still stay in contact very regularly. Unfortunately because of the initial problems when this BCC forum was updated it is now mainly on Facebook ( which I dislike, but some of us have crept back on here a bit.) It does however help to know people are having tne same ups and downs as you. As for Forums in general. ....This was something I never imagined doing.."who me, me join a forum....don't be silly....I used to be a Breast Care Nurse, I know the answers, I don't need it!!!!!!....."i was heared to say. it was the BEST thing I ever did.
Big Hug for you both.
Cackles

tracyld
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie,
Sending you both big hugs and strength to cope tomorrow. It does seem a long wait so take the newspapers, do the crosswords or sudokos together and just close your eyes from all that is happening around you and just have a little snooze in the big comfy seats. Take some big deep breaths. You know you love each other very much and we are all with you in spirit. Tracy xxx
Irishdancer
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi bob. Been reading the thread and advice and support you are receiving . I hope all goes well on Friday . Does Rosie read the threads and seek support .. ? I hope she feels able to.
Just to give you hope on the fertility issue ,,,, we tried so hard was so preoccupied for years of being able to have
a child , then at 43 I became pregnant only to miscarry 3 months later . We then decided to not be so preoccupied and felt
time had passed us by . In a way we just gave up......then at the age of 45 I gave birth to my gorgeous Erin cissie !!! Xxx
morale of story.....stop trying ...it may happen . And what a fortunate child that will be with such lovely parents and so wanted xxx god bless you both xx
Irishdancer
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi bob. Been reading the thread and advice and support you are receiving . I hope all goes well on Friday . Does Rosie read the threads and seek support .. ? I hope she feels able to.
Just to give you hope on the fertility issue ,,,, we tried so hard was so preoccupied for years of being able to have
a child , then at 43 I became pregnant only to miscarry 3 months later . We then decided to not be so preoccupied and felt
time had passed us by . In a way we just gave up......then at the age of 45 I gave birth to my gorgeous Erin cissie !!! Xxx
morale of story.....stop trying ...it may happen . And what a fortunate child that will be with such lovely parents and so wanted xxx god bless you both xx
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi and thanks for your replies.
Jesmech - Thanks for that, it does help to know that others have been in the same boat and have succeeded.
Mummyto2 - You're right. I am cutting out caffeine and booze and I've bought myself a bicycle! I have also begun to take Wellman supplements. Hopefully the next test will be better.
vivtwins - Yes the doctor was a bit blunt. I think she was also wrong about how sperm count cannot go up. I might well go to another doctor next time. And Rosie and I want to make an appointment with a fertility nurse at the hospital.
Thanks for all your best bishes for Rosie. The op is tomorrow and according to her breast cancer nurse we won't know the results for two weeks! Another long angonising wait…
Bob
x
vivtwins1
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob!
I can't believe how blunt some doctors can be! Actually, sadly I can! I'm so sorry that you are having to worry about fertility as well as everything else. I don't have any major advice other than what has been said already. Do some research and get as well informed as you can, maybe even a different doctor! Knowledge is power in my book.
I am thinking of you both as Rosie's operation is upcoming. Try not to get too stressed about not being able to stay with Rosie on the day. I was left in the hands of the nurses and my sister in law had to go. I think in some ways it was easier for me than it was for her. When I had my bilateral mx she was allowed to stay with me until I went to theatre!
Hope it all goes well for her.

Viv x
Mummyto2
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi bob, I've also been a bit of a lurker on your thread but felt I had to post when you mentioned fertility, now I'm no expert but I myself had fertility problems 3 years ago and I read & read & read up on it and researched etc. firstly as for Rosie, the fact is doctors test if a woman has ovulated on day 21 of her cycle, they check for progesterone levels which peaks 7 days after a woman has ovulated. They base this that every woman ovulates on day 14 of her cycle, which is silly in my eyes because not all women do. So it may mean that she DID ovulate last month, it could just be that she ovulated sooner or later than when the doctors checked for her peak, so please don't let that result worry you too much. Now, for you, there are lots of vits, changes etc you CAN do to produce sperm, and also increase the mobility of it too, when doctors check the sperm count they should check the mortality (amount) and the motility (movement) you could have 20 million sperm but they could all have motility issues, on the other hand you could have a count of 1 million and have great motility......the latter would be more likely to work.
Zinc is a very good source for sperm production, eating healthy, cutting out alcohol and smoking is a big factor (apologies if you don't smoke).
Just think it only takes 1 sperm and if you have 0.5 million of them you DO still have a chance, there is so much information on the Internet for you to look into regarding sperm counts and how to increase it naturally.
Hope that's helped a little.
Faye xx p.s I really hope Rosie's op goes well on Friday, will be thinking of you both xx
Jesmech
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Just wanted to say that our friend was told the same thing (in terms of sperm count) and it is definitely worth looking after yourself, they now have a 2 month old wonderful boy, Conceived naturally (they bth ate healthily and gave up alcohol, and used the temperature thingie to track the most optimum time for her). This must be a difficult time for you both with so much going on, but remember it only takes one sperm to get through! For now also remember that statistics are just that, they are numbers that help create averages and baselines. I was a 'late starter' having my first at 39 and 2nd at 42, each person is unque and each partnership is unique. I wish you luck with both the op and results and your future together. cyber hugs to you both, Jayne
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hello again,
I should really put this in another thread but I'm not sure which one so I'll put it in here.
As you may know, Rosie's op is on Friday. We will know if it is cancer and what type/grade a week later. It's terrifying.
We had been trying for kids, despite me being 47 and Rosie 40. We thought we'd better get ourselves checked out to make sure we're both still capable! We got both our results yesterday. It turns out that Rosie hadn't ovulated that month but the doctor said that women of her age may not ovulate evey month anyway and the fact that Rosie is still having periods every month is a good sign.
However, it seems I am the problem. My sperm count is 0.5million. Not even one! The normal is 20 million, so mine is extremely low. Now, the doctor, not the most compassionate or patient woman I've ever met, had already seemed hostile to the idea of Rosie attempting kids at her age. She actually said, 'You're too old, really, and it would be better not to'.
Now I asked the doctor what I could do to boost my sperm count. She said, 'Nothing. That is your count for life and you were probably born that way.' I have since checked online and asked friends and many of them have said that they took tablets, cut out booze and caffeine, wore boxers, exercised, etc, and their count shot up!
Who am I to believe? Does anyone know the truth of it, and if so what can I try to help boost my count?
Bob
chascat
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Bob
I had my surgery privately and my husband was able to stay with me right up to the theatre doors, my friend on the other hand had to say goodbye to her family in the waiting room and she found it much easier to cope, she just got on with the practicalities of preparing for surgery as she didn't have to try and be brave for anyone else or didn't break down like I did, my husband found that very difficult to deal with as he couldn't do anything to make it better, although he tried his best to reassure me. I'm not saying that's how it will be for you and Rosie and I understand fully you want to be with her, I had to drop my husband in the waiting room when he had surgery following a motorbike accident and spent the day waiting for a phone call (it was a long operation), it was tough and i'd rather have been there with him than sitting at home clock watching, but his second operation at a different hospital I was with him up to the theatre doors, I think it helped me far more than him if i'm honest.
I've been a lurker on your thread for a while and know things haven't been straightforward, thinking of you both on Friday, once you have some answers you'll both start feeling that you have some control back.
Take care
Lydia x

bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Thank you for your kind words.
I am dreading the op day on Friday. It is only a day operation, but I know how scared Rosie will be.
The really annoying thing is that I'm not allowed to go beyond the general reception area. I drop her off and then I must go. Then I'm called "to arrange pick up" (their words), like Rosie is an Amazon package at the post office. I'm really upset about it and so is Rosie. Just going into hospital is scary and unsettling enough, but this is a woman who probably has cancer, which may be aggressive, and who is absolutely petrified. She needs someone there to be with her while she waits. She's a human being not a bl**dy parcel to be processed. I'm going to try and hang around as long as I can, I don't care what they say.
Surely they must know how scarey this is for anyone?
Bob
vivtwins1
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie!

Just want to wish you lots of love and luck for Rosie's op on Friday. The waiting is by far the worst time. I find it tortureous! I am waiting for some genetic test results and it's been 2 months already. There is nothing to be done other than get on with life, which is almost impossible.

I am seeing the plastic surgeon tomorrow to find out about reconstruction as I had a bilateral mx. It's like starting over again although it's for a more positive reason.

I'll be thinking of you both on Friday, we are all here for you when you are ready or need.

Much love

Viv xxx
tracyld
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hello Bob and Rosie,
I lost your post after being at work all last week . I am now sending you lots of love for your op on Friday Rosie and pray too Bob that there is no spread to the nodes. When this is all over you can explore all your options for starting a family which I know must be a very anxious time for you as well.
I am pleased you are surrounding yourselves with a big fluffy blanket of love and I like the idea of a mug of hot chocolate with extra cream and marsh mallows as my cup of denial. You are right to try this approach, there is no other way really.
Friday will be hard for you both. My hubby does not show his emotion , he certainly does not wear his heart on his sleeve but as we walked to theatre with the porter I passed hin my wooden holding cross and he had tears streaming down his face , so be prepared your emotions will be high Bob. We will all be here for you when you are ready. Love Tracy xxx
junieliz
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie, all the best to you both for Friday, will be thinking of you, it is over four years since I first crossed this hurdle, and I am doing very well now, and hopefully you will soon be on the same road with this behind you. Keep us posted take care love junieliz x

bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hello again,
Just a quick note to say that Rosie finally has a date for her lumpectomy, on the 9th of November. Originally they had told us the 23rd but luckily it has been moved forward by two weeks.
Because the core biopsy (probably) missed the lump and bent around it, we still don't know anything about this lump except that it is about 12mm, craggy and looks very much like cancer. The only way forward now is for them to remove it and to do the biopsy from the removed lump itself. It will obviously be a great relief to get that b*gger out of there. I just hope and pray it hasn't spread to the lymph nodes.
This waiting around has been the most difficult thing either of us have had to deal with in our entire lives. But eventually we have begun to settle into a routine of let's pretend it's not happening. Every day is like a normal day, but of course in the back of our minds the worry is there. it is quite a surreal (or maybe irreal?) experience. We know it's coming but we've surrounded ourselves with a blanket of cozy familiarity and a big, warm mug of denial. It's working and it is helping, but it is also very weird.
I hope you are all doing well and I'll let you know when I get any more news.
God bless you.
Bob
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Viv,
We've had no news yet on when the op will be. Rosie has been in for the pre-op check already. The consultant said he will get her in ASAP and that it will be in November, but as I say we've yet to get a date for it. It's very frustrating for us but what can we do? I'm tempted to phone up but I don't know what good it would do.
In the mean time we're doing our best to keep busy and trying not to dwell on it too much, but it's very hard! It's driving me mad.
Bob
vivtwins1
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie!
Just wondering how you were getting on and any news on results yet?
Viv xxx
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Angi,
What can I say to that reply? Wow, thank you so much. That genuinely made me feel better about this.
Thank you again.
Bob
tracyld
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie,
Thanks for your reply. Yes I think we will get an Indian Summer next week so that will be good to get out in the fresh air and take some autumn images.
I will keep you in my thoughts for the blood tests. Take good care of yourselves.
With love and positive vibes Tracy
Mapie
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Bob just want to say I am so sorry to hear of the situation you are in. Also want to confirm what RevCat said regarding surgery waiting time I got results of my biopsy on 1 Oct with positive cancer cells, I am still waiting for confirmation of my date for lumpectomy so it can take a few weeks between. I know the waiting is not easy and I have found myself on this site quite a bit as well as another site which I am part of. The support you get from people on here is fantastic and we all know what it feels like will keep you and Rosie in my thoughts both for results of surgery and your future hopes of having a family.
dib
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

bwgicat what a great post,spot on.

bwgicat
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

So sorry about your news. I always felt that the worse thing that could happen to me was being diagnosed with cancer and this happen to me 3 years ago. Treatment has changed so much since your mother's time and is changing all the time.
My best advice would be not to rehearse for diaster, wait until you have hard information because usually when you're given the bad news you're also given the ways of dealing with it, I was told I had cancer which to me meant I would die a horrible death, but I didn't. The cancer had gone to my lymph nodes which to me meant it would spread all over my body and I would die a horrible death, but I didn't. I had a mastectomy and chemotherapy which to me meant I would be sick 24/7 and go bald, I wasn't even nauseous once and although I lost my hair it grew back and looks better than it has in years. I then had radiotherapy which to me meant I would get burnt and permanently exhausted, and although I was more tired than usual I found radio really straightforward and easy.
Basically it sounds as though your worst case scenario has already happened to me and I lived through it and I'm fine, it's not fun but it's very, very manageable. I got so much support from my breast cancer nurse and places like this forum are a godsend, don't be afraid to ask the stupidest question or just have a moan as I sometimes feel it can be harder for the partner than the patient, support your wife but don't try to be the hero, you're human and you will be upset at times and you can share this with her.
Lastly, people close to me managed to make my cancer fun - if you can believe that! Humour and happiness can spread faster than cancer, make your wife laugh, romance her and make her feel womanly, beautiful and loved and MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL look after yourself and exocise your demons in this forum.
With hindsight cancer has been a blip in my life, that's all, just a blip, although at the time it was devestating, but I realise the cancer itself wasn't devestating it was me rehearsing soooo many worst case scenarios that was devestating. I wish you could have hindsight now but, trust me, you'll get there.
My very, very best wishes go to you and your wife
Angi

vivtwins1
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie

I've been thinking of you and found the post again so I could see how you got on. What a bugger that you didn't get a definitive answer. Good idea to ask for an earlier date. My hospital wanted to my first op within a week which was a shock but we were going away so managed to postpone it a week. (I think there was a little ounce of denial in there). I hope they come back with an earlier day because as the others have said the waiting is the hardest bit..torturous, I found it!

I will keep my eyes on the thread and bookmark it so I can find it again!

Lots of love to you both

Viv xxxx
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi DJ007,
Thanks for your reply. That must've been hard for both of you, having to wait that long! I suppose it's natural to think the worst and worry that it's spreading while you wait. I am encouraged though by what you've said. Thanks so much and it's great to hear your op was a success.

Bob
DJ007
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob

I won't reiterate what the others have said - all very good advice - but just to try and reassure you a bit about the length of time before Rosie's surgery.

I found my 'lump' in November 2010, by the time I had my breast clinic appointment, then the wait for results, it was Dec 22nd (great Christmas present!) before I was told that I had a 5 x 2cm Grade 3 cancer (Grade is to do with what the cells look like and how aggressive it is, NOT about spread of disease). Because of Christmas and various things it was the 27th Jan before I had my surgery.

My breast surgeon assured me that a wait of a few weeks would make no difference to my long term prospects. So far I've got no reason to doubt him!

You've been told that Rosie's lump is quite small and, if it is cancer, they will have caught it early - easier said than done, but try not to let the uncertainty eat you up. Diversionary tactics needed - and you've been given good tips about this as well.

Good luck to you both.

D

bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hello again kevinj,
It is as you say, crap. Marg was lucky to get a cancellation like that. That's really good.
How you can possibly be an idiot for asking how she is and being so concerned? She's just a girl with a man who cares about her a great deal. Nothing wrong with that.
I can imagine finding that your daughter had a lump must have been terrifying. Thank goodness it was OK. Bl**dy hell, what a life this is, eh?
I know what you mean about hiding your tears. You want them to know, or at least believe, that you're in control. But I'm not sure it's always good. I don't know. You sound like a good man to me. Be proud of your sensitivity and compassion. It makes you a man.

Cheers,
Bob
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Tracy,
Yes it was an unexpected outcome. I'm glad they're getting on with plans to operate anyway, I just wish we didn't have to wait so long. Being this anxious every day is so tiring, isn't it?
Rosie has had one blood test for fertility and will have another one next week. Mine is next week too, although I won't get the results for a while. We did discuss it with the BC nurse who is great, but we don't know what sort of cancer it is yet so we don't know what we could do. She did however tell us that there a few 'workarounds'. We'll find out when we eventually find out what sort of lump we've got.
I'm sorry to hear about your bronchitis. Keep well and get better soon. We might still have an Indian Summer!
Cheers and take care,
Bob
x
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Thanks again Revcat,
It is indeed frustrating and really annoying. It was not all what we had expected. I have sent an email to the department saying that we are not happy about the wait and was there any chance at all of them moving the op date forward. I guess I'll hear nothing but you never know. The funny thing is Rosie told me she thought that it had gone well. They hadn't told her it was cancer and very aggressive -so at least we had that to celebate. But I can't see i that way. Te doctor is still sure it is cancer so we've just wasted a week of agony for nothing. Rosie also said that if it is to be terrible news then the later she's told the better. I guess we're all different.
You're right I suppose, Revcat, the op date may well have been about the same time anyway. As I say Rosie doesn't seem to bothered but I'm one of thise people that needs info and clarity. I just need to know what it is that we're up against.
He is a very nice chap, the doctor. Very patient and kind. We will just have to hold it together and like you say keep busy and doing nice things.
Cheers,
Bob
kevinj
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

That really is crap, I know at this time you just want to be told for certain and then you can deal with it, I will say with Marg they gave her a date for her op which was three weeks away if I remember rightly but this was changed very quickly to a week, they had a cancellation I think. I have to be honest when we went to the consultant she told us it was cancer before they had the results of the biopsy (which came through the next day) they are obviously experts in their field and deal with this type of thing everyday .I can't tell you not to worry, Marg has finished all treatment now and trying to get on with her life and she has to put up with some dithering idiot constantly asking how she is? Is she feeling ok? are you checking yourself properly (that one always get me in trouble) I have tried not to be upset in front of her (I know some people disagree with this) but I believe she has enough on her plate without worrying about my feelings she knows she is my life, as I am sure Rosie is to you, the worst part is you are supposed to be able to protect them, but in this case you can only stand aside at let the professionals do their work. As much as I was anxious and worried about marg a few weeks ago we had a scare with my daughter she is 21 and found a lump under her arm she was sent straight to hospital (because of her mum) and thank god it was just breast tissue my god I was totally beside myself with worry we both were, neither of us were brave then and when we found out she was fine I honestly couldn't stop crying

tracyld
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie,
I have been thinking about you all morning and wishing you well. That is awful that the news is not conclusive but at least your consultant is being proactive and getting rid of the offending lump. It would be simply wonderful if when it is tested it does indeed have no cancer cells. We pray for that.
Anyway what about your fertility tests and when do you get those ? Concentrate on everything positive and try and live your lives as normally as possible until Rosie's operation. I went straight back to work after my diagnosis as I did not want to sit at home wallowing in self pity, but everyone is different. It is what makes the world such an exciting place.
I am off work this week with Bronchitis so I am suffering a bit but the weather is beautiful and the washing is blowing on the line. Go for a nice walk to clear your heads. How does Rosie feel ? I hope she is managing to cope and not being too brave.
Take care and lots of love to you both Tracy xxx
RevCat
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hello Bob,
Gosh, how frustrating and annoying for you both. On the plus side, the surgeon is taking action to get to the root of this and get Rosie back to full health. To be honest, even if he had definitive results, the wait time to surgery would be pretty much the same, and you would still be waiting for full pathology. Four weeks seems like an eternity when you waiting and wondering, but it will pass and the lump will be removed - which has to be a good thing, even if it does turn out to be benign. Finding positives is difficult, but this four weeks will give you time to do more research around the possibilities of eggs harvesting, if that is something you want to conisder in case Rosie needs to have chemo. Try to focus on good things, and make sure you treat yourselves gentle and generously. You will get through this. Keep posting or lurking as much as you wish on here, there will always be someone around to answer your questions or share experiences.
bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Helle everyone.
Rosie had her biopsy results this morning. Well, she did and she didn't. It wasn't bad news but it wasn't good news either.
The consultant firstly told us that the test came back as negative - no cancer cells found. BUT, BUT what he thinks may have happened is that the biopsy needle missed the lump. He isn't 100% sure, maybe it is clear, but the thing is, my wife's breast tisue is very dense and, unbeknown to me, they had trouble getting the needle in during last week's core biopsy. It actually bent at one stage! It seems likely that it just sort of bent around the lump rather than entered it. He is still suspicious of the lump because it is a hard, irregular lump that looks very much like a malignancy to him. So basically they may have b*ggered up the biopsy and just tested clear cells that were around it.
Instead of having another biopsy as last week (and them missing again) he suggested we get booked in for an op to remove the lump and then do the biopsy from the removed lump when they can look at the whole thng and be absolutely sure. Now that's fine, but the earliest date for the op is mid-November and then there will be a week to wait for the results. That's a month more to wait.
In one way at least we didn't get bad news (cancer, aggressive etc) and the consultant did reiterate that it was 12mm and had been caught very early. But as yet we have no real news and no plan and won't have for four weeks.

Bob
ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob

I think Zoladex is used to protect the ovaries, but I've had my kids already so that wasn't an option I needed to explore.

As said, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SILLY QUESTION. I know I probably read like I've eaten an encyclopedia for my tea, but before all of this I didn't know anything at all about BC, treatments, prognosis, terminology, blah blah blah, so I had to ask questions. We've had all sorts on here, even down to whether you can wear nail varnish in surgery (the answer is no) so nothing is silly and nobody will laugh at you for asking what might sound like a really stupid question.

You mentioned it's HER keeping YOU sane - yep, that's fine too. There's no simple answer, we all just get through it the best way we can. My OH is so laid back he's horizontal, and he didn't panic (or let me panic!) at all during the whole thing, for which I was grateful. He also didn't do lots of hugs, cuddles and chocolate either, but that is his normal way and I think I would have been freaked out if he had done! I'm sure you and Rosie will find the best way for the both of you. Keep supporting each other as I'm sure you will.

Good luck, and I'll be thinking of you both tomorrow. Off to bed now, as I'm back at the hospital tomorrow to finally have my portacath removed. (It's what they used to access my veins during chemo and Herceptin, I was very glad I had it, but it's not something you need to bother thinking about right now, just get those results over and done with first.)

Sweet dreams,

CM
x

Mary_grace
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob and Rosie, just a quick note to say good luck for tomorrow.

On tamoxifen and fertility, this is just one - albeit the most common - hormone blocker for hormone positive bc and I have seen it mentioned elsewhere tht it can boost fertility. Certainly I was told that it doesn't stop you getting pregnant but can cause abnormalities in a foetus so I should make sure that I didn't get pregnant while taking it.

That part is down the line but it is certainly worth talking to your wife's oncologist and getting advice on the best treatment tans that which grieves you the best chance of having a family once treatment is over.

Thinking of you both

MG

bcree
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

I just wanted to say to every one who has posted replies to me thank you so much. I am overwhelmed by your kindness and thoughtfulness.
Well, tonight is the night before the results. Rosie is being so strong. Her way is not to dwell on it but to carry on and, well, hope for the best. The truth is that SHE is helping ME through this by just being, in her own quiet way, so together. Of course underneath it all she is terrified and wondering what will become of us. My only regret with Rosie, and perhaps my only real regret in life, is that I didn't meet her a lot sooner than I did.
I'm making a list of questions for tomorrow and doing my best to keep calm and strong.
Thank you again. I will let you know what happens tomorrow.
Bob
x
vivtwins1
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob

Just wanted to wish you and Rosie lots of luck for tomorrow and fingers crossed for the results appointment. As all the others have said, this is absolutely the worst time for you both. The waiting is almost unbearable. I was diagnosed in June this year with a 6cm area of DCIS and high grade C5 cells extensively across my breast (ductal carcinoma in situ) and was recommended to have a mastectomy. I had this and a SNB and was found to have minimal invasion into the first lymph node but not enough to require further treatments. I opted to have a prophylactic mastectomy to my non affected side due to strong family history. I was given temp implants to give some shape but I had a massive infection on my left side and had to have the left one removed. I am now left with a flat side. I'm 42 and divorced so feeling not great about myself.

I am now all clear from the cancer but awaiting genetic test results at the end of November which will open another can of worms then on to a reconstruction next year hopefully.

Your love for Rosie shines through and she is a lucky lady to have you by her side.

Sending you both warm hugs and lots of love. Will look out for the results.

Viv x
Yomaggs60
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

I had breast cancer diagnosed in August 2012, I have have 2 operations 1 to remove lump other to check lymph glands, happy to say it had not spread to there. Am waiting to start my radiotherapy next Monday 22nd October 2012. Although I was totally devastated to be diagnosed the treatment is as fast as it can be and hopefully the outcome will be positive. I wish you and your wife well tomorrow and try to be positive and together you will get through the treatment that she will require and come out from it stronger as a couple. All the very best for tomorrow.
Jube
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob, in response to tumour size mine was 15mm so thankfully small. I am truly sorry to hear that Rosies diagnosis causes further anxiety for you both with regard to having children in the future, I hope the many posts will help. Please take each day at a time, be kind to each other and to YOURSELF both you and Rosie will be given the time to ask as many questions as you both need tommorow, I had wonderful breast care nurses at the time of diagnosis and even now theyre still fantastic fo other worries. You and Rosie will be in my thoughts tommorow.
Jo X

Downbutnotout
Member

Re: Awaiting my wife's biopsy results. So scared.

Hi Bob

I won't add to all that's been said before but when I had my first oncology meeting (diagnosed September 2011) he said I needed chemotherapy and had noted my age (46 at the time) and asked me if I would be wanting children and if so they could harvest eggs before starting chemo. So do mention your desire for children and hopefully they can sort things out before treatment.

Best of luck to you and Rosie. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Do let us know how you get on. We can offer lots more advice if it's needed subsequently.
X

PS You made me cry with your love for your wife, which is quite an achievement because I barely cried even at diagnosis.