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[TammyM]

Hi River Girl,
I'm so sorry that you are having this stress. I totally understand. I was diagnosed May 2011, and am well on my way to getting my life back together, but they have done a CT on me and found a lump in my lung. Have just had a PET scan to see if it picks anything up from it (ie. if it is definitely the big C spread to my lung), or if I have to wait 6 months to have another CT and see what the lump has done in that time (ie. spread, grown, shrunk, dissapeared?? who knows). The waiting game is absolutely horrendous. I'm going mad inside. The thought of operations, or chemo or any of that stuff is terrifying to me. I know it must sound crazy, but maybe you'll understand, but I dont want to bulk up again, I cant stand the thought of losing my hair again, of losing my identity. I only just got me back, with a lot of hard work.
If they tell me that I have Mets and i have to have chemo, right now, I dont think I have the strength to do it. I imagine these are the things that you are thinking about too. You are not alone. This fear will have been experienced by so many people on this forum. I wish I had a magic wand to use on all of us. I hope you are ok. I will bookmark this thread and keep checking to see how you are getting on. I hope for your sake that your scan comes back clear and that there is some other reason for your symptoms. I have everything crossed for you.
Makes you wonder tho doesn't it, what the hell did we do to deserve this?
PS. OMG do I have the runs too... for two weeks so far... my insides are spontaneously combusting, whilst I have to maintain a calm and smiley outside for work. I feel like going to the top of a mountain and screaming. Not quite sure how that'll help, but I'm sure it would release some of this worry and frustration. Its so hard to be going through this uncertainty around the people you love, because as hard as they try, they just can't understand. Plus, they tend to get very upset too, so then you dont want to make them cry. So you just hold it all inside. Well, thats what I do. I don't think its very healthy!!!
Anyway, I could waffle on for hours, but i am actually at work so had better go. My thoughts are with you. xxx

[Lucy_BCC]

Dear Rivergirl I am sorry you have this worry

Our helpliners are on hand with support and a listening ear for you, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000

Take care

Lucy

[Guest user]

Hi - I was diagnosed in March 2011 and thought I was fine now! Small tumour, early BC, no nodes involved = had surgery, rads, chemo, herceptin. My oncologist advised that after 2 years things looked good. Recently had clear second mamogram. Now I have pain and pns and needles in my left leg, thought it was sciatica but oncologist has advised a bone scan just to be safe. I am so frantic and have gone from being confident to now thinking the cancer has returned - can't sleep, can't eat, have the runs!!! Don't know how I will cope with it all again! Anyone have any advice??