71108members
373711posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Being bullied at work

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. Yes. I HAVE cleared my name but I have seen the opposition's evidence and all the lies. I feel low again now because I feel betrayed. I cannot believe they have believed the rumours without first asking me about the facts.

It seems from the evidence that my 'crime' was to be 'intrusively' helpful. If I had just sat around and not done anything I would not find myself where I am now.

It was pot luck with my solicitor. He is a solicitor specialising in disputes. I would think you would probably need a solicitor specialising in either disputes or employment law. Perhaps, when you find your solicitor, the dates can be sorted around him/her and you so that you can still have time to look after your son. Your solicitor may be able to negotiate the date to fit in with you. With a solicitor on the case, your employer may not be able to make all the decisions about dates, etc.

Mounties - you are still being negative. Don't be. I am sure when you see a solicitor you will see things differently. It's not over 'til the fat lady sings - and she's not going to sing!

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Thank you both so much for yet again being there for me when i was feeling so low.

I know you are right Catkin when you say i caused them embarassment by pointing out the errors the temp made and i know it has cost them thousands. Which as a charity they obviously have to account for every penny. I suppose i also made it worse by refusing to sign a letter the manager wanted to send blaming the residents for the lost money, i would never lie.

Just had call from union to say next grievance appeal hearing is next Tuesday.Day after my son's op. How caring when manager knows how much i want to be with him.

Christiane, i am so please for you that you have managed to clear your name, that is all i want so that i can hope to get another job one day. I never worked just for the money, i worked because i loved my job and the people i worked with.

Can you both tell me how you managed to find such good solicitors? I agree i need to find one quick as the disciplinary will no doubt be the week after and i will be dismissed. I intend to appeal but i know no good will come out of it.So i need to get the wheels turning towards going to a tribunal so that i get some justice, whatever that turns out to be.

catkin19
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

oh, for God's sake. so sorry Mounties........it must feel like they're just playing games. but what it actually means is that they're ashamed and don't want to face you. they don't see that dragging it on and on and trying to avoid having to deal with you just makes it worse and they hope that somehow you'll just go away. let's face it, what happened, happened........that can't be changed. you hung in and survived it........but the important thing is that you have the oportunity to tell them how it felt, and hopefully ensure that the next time someone comes back from illness they manage it a bit better. all that bluff and bluster and character assassination and trying to bully you into dropping it and hiding the notes and so on........they really don't want to have to look you in the eye.
......it may be that somebody somewhere has to account for the mistakes made in your absence, especially if they cost the organisation money. if the person responsible was your stand-in, then the responsibility lies with whoever was supervising them....as presumably if they were new and not given clear instruction they might have got things wrong. if you then came back and pointed it out, you have made them look a fool, and rather than say "oops, sorry, i wasn't supervising the temp properly and they messed up", they are taking it out on you. it's an extremely common response of organisations to people who blow the whistle or discover wrongdoing.......look at that poor chap who was sacked for pointing out that the royal bank was going off the rails.......
.....your rep sounds about as much use as mine was. i resigned from the union in the end and got a lawyer. i was fed up with the "oh yes, it's terrible, but what can you do?" approach. however i think it's useful to clarify in your mind what you want the outcome to be. an apology? your old job back? redeployment? in the end they have you over a barrel because your livelihood depends on them, so it's also worth doing a financial inventory with your hubby to look at other sources of income and/or other jobs. given that loads of other people are out of work just now there should be lots of advice around...........

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Don't listen to your Union Rep. He's doing it all wrong. He should be boosting your morale - not sapping it.

Go and see a solicitor straight away. He/she will see through the lies, the manipulation and procrastination. It will cost but it will be worth it. If they lie at the tribunal, they won't all be using the same 'liars handbook' so the Chairman will see through it.

It has cost a lot of money but I have cleared my name at my arbitration. I have now seen their 'so called' statements which are all horrendous lies. It's fortunate I only saw the lies afterwards as if I had seen them before I would have thought I had no chance of clearing my name. It is sickening to realise that people whom I thought were friends for nearly 20 years are in fact two faced traitors. I feel betrayed.

I say again - your Union Rep is not helping you. He is not giving you support. He is dragging you down. You need a solicitor who will fight for you and your rights.

If your records have been tampered with and you can prove it, they have probably broken all sorts of laws and a solicitor should be able to help you with the legal side perhaps more than the Union Rep. They are probably running scared. A lady solicitor might help you more than a male.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Hi everyone, heres the latest update on my battle.
Just got home after grievance appeal hearing postponed due to chairman being stuck in traffic!!!
So now i have to go through it all over again probably on Friday the 13th. As i said to union rep the way my lucks going i don;t need anymore bad luck.

Managed to have good chat with union rep re my chances and the amendments that have been made to my supervsion notes, he didn't hold out much hope for either.

So feel really low now as just feels like i have wasted my time even thinking i could ever win this nightmare, he doesn't even hold out for success if i go to a tribunal.He was amazed though when i asked him if he thought there was any chance of me ever being able to return to work,he laughed and said "no chance". I felt really emotional being back there today and thinking how happy i used to be.

I do wonder sometimes if bc hadn't come along would i still be there happilly getting on with my job.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Christiane, thank you for your positivity. I need it badly at the moment as 5pm gets closer.
A colleague rang me earlier today, i didn't tell her anything about whats happening. That's how paranoid i'm getting!!!
She told me how awful the residents have got it now, apprently the person who works there now, the same one who has made the allegations against me, is a real bully to them. They all stay in their rooms to avoid her shouting at them.
Feel so sad there is nothing i can do to help or they would know how i know.

Thank you again for all your help and support to all of you on this fantastic site.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties - don't be so sure that you are going to lose!

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Thank you all for your messages of support. As its getting closer i am feeling more nervous. Having met the chairman of my hearing previously i know he will want things dealt with quickly but he will have to wait just as i have.i cannot believe how much paperwork i need to take with me today to prove how they have doctored my supervsion notes and not offerred any reasonable adjustments even though i have asked monthly.
Going to take dog out for a walk to clear my head and give me some thinking time.
You know i think one of us should retrain as a employment lawyer after what we've been through and wouldn't we be in high demand. Sadly.

Will let you all know tonight how it went, Christiane, i don't expect any surprises they have got the guillotine sharpened for my head.

catkin19
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

good luck. i am still waiting for a date for my grievance hearing, as they keep offering times and dates when my supportive colleague can't go. i thought we'd been clear about that, but maybe not............the lawyer thinks we should just accept it and take someone else. like you i don't think there's a cat in hell's chance of it being upheld anyway, since if it were they would have to accept being in breach of the DDA and their own policies which would lay them open to legal action, so they're not going to do that.........
.....the strongest point may be if you can demonstrate a difference between the way you were managed and the way other employees were, e.g. you being disciplined for something that someone else also did with no consequences. back to the bit about, not only are no concessios made to your illness, you are actally expected to perform better than someone without such a disability..........

Marilynleah
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Good luck

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties - thinking about you today and good luck.

Even if the Pied Piper doesn't drown with the rats at least they will have all had to run!! - And you may be surprised at the outcome!!

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Well done Christiane. I think you did fantastic as i know the hardest part is trying to keep your emotions at bay.

I will have the union reps support tomorrow which i am so grateful for as he helps me keep it together. I am going to ask him to talk more tomorrow though rather then just sit there and pipe up when a matter of law comes up, he has to work for my money now.

I'll make sure i think of you tomorrow and have my little smile as i think of the pied piper drowning without a hope in hell of anyone throwing her a life belt.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. I kept calm and I did not get emotional. At one point I thought about you and smiled - not much, because there wasn't much to smile about at first but I did manage a little smile, whilst thinking about the bottom of my shoe!

The meeting was heavy going, very stressful and I've come back with a headache but I am so pleased I had my solicitor there to hold my hand.

I'm not completely out the woods yet, but nearly, and let's say I am smiling!

I hope you have chance to get your points across tomorrow and that you have your union rep to hold your hand. It really does help to have someone supportive with you.

Good luck tomorrow! I shall be thinking of you.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Christiane, How did it go? I imagine you are feeling exhausted after this mornings meeting as it really does take it out of you, but do you have any idea of how it went?
Please let me know as at least then i can feel encouraged before my battle begins again tomorrow.
I am currently going through all the emails i have been sent since October and my god there is loads but i need to find the ones re my notes so that i can quote them s evidence tomorrow.

Don't suppose i'll sleep much tonight and having to wait till 5pm tomorrow is going to be hell but at least it will give me time to get fired up.

Love what you said about the pied piper drowning, lets hope all the rats go down with her too.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

It's death knell to the bullies!

The Pied Piper has gone down with the rats!!

Good luck, Mounties, for tomorrow. I will be thinking of you.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Thank you Tricia. I can't wait till Tuesday as although i know i don't stand a cat in hells chance of winning i'm having my say, no holds barred.
Never would have done any of this though without all the support of the fantastic people that have guided me though this nightmare.

Lets hope its the death knell of bullies!!!!

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Thank you Tricia and Mounties - and Mounties, I will remember the smile!

Weetricia1
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Good Luck girls!

Tricia

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Christiane, the very very best of luck tomorrow. I know you can do it and i hope you will be filled with all the anger and frustration they have caused you over this last ridiculous 18 months. What total b.....ds we have to deal with after fighting ruddy bc.
Just remember that you are in the winning seat or you would have given up your fight long ago if there was a ounce of guilt in you. Nobody would put their selves through this hell if they were guilty of any of the charges against them.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow i hope it goes as well as you expect and even that you are pleasantly surprised at how ell you hold your emotions together.

Go get them girl we are all fighting this with you and don't forget that little knowing smile at the right moment, its a killer!!!!

Lots of love and luck, From Christina xxxxx

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. Well - D-Day is tomorrow for me! It's fast approaching...
Good luck for you on Tuesday!!
Will watch a nice film on tele tonight to try and take my mind off things!!

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. I will promise to do it.

You are right. We just wanted fairness to carry on with our lives as we were before bc. Now we just want to be heard re the injustice done to us. I will be heard on Monday. I don't expect justice on Monday - but at least it is a chance to be listened to, at long last, 18 months after the unfair suspension! It's taken a long time for this to happen!!

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Well i think we all have to promise that we will do it. I'm going to be a bossy cow now and say after all the grief we have been given by people, just because we have tried to return to our old lives after bc, we need to celebrate our voices being heard.Not just for us but for the others that are going to have to face the bullies in future.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Good idea!

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

I like your attitude Catkin and you are right about still going ahead with your grievance. No doubt your employers will coveniently change their policies and backdate the date of change so they can lie through their back teeth, just like mine.
Sorry Christiane it's all getting so soul destroying. It does feel like a very heavy weight on your shoulders at times. It would be so easy to just quit and let them have their fun. I know when i went through the supervision notes last night and saw they've deleted all the times i asked for help with heavy lifting, i wasn't surprised. After all lying is a cowards way out. I have accepted i am not going to win my appeal as otherwise why would she be so desperate to have my disciplinary 4 days later.I have received a email from her this morning asking me to take my work mob in on Tues as i'm not using it. Made me laugh as i was told not to use it, so i got something right there at last.
I will just look at them as though they are something stuck on my shoe and remember you can always do a little smile whilst they are wittering on, that really annoys them ss they will never know why.
Maybe one day the 3 of us will have to meet up no matter how far we live apart we need a drink together to celebrate our fights being over if nothing else?

catkin19
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Yes; the important thing is that we have survived, and we have our families and friends. They are the people who really matter, not some bunch of pathetic bullies. I feel hopeful because I have a chance to escape.........so they get rid of me, that was what they wanted, but I should be going somewhere a lot better where I won't be treated like ****. However I will still go through with my grievance hearing because I have some things to say that will hopefully mean that nobody else has to go through that kind of misery ever again. I will take all their damn policies with me with the bits they didn't stick to marked in fluorescent highlighter..... that should be fun........

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. Have had a very heavy afternoon with solicitor and arbitrator. Solicitor says it can go one way or the other on Monday. He is not confident as he says this way of doing an arbitration is not as fair as a normal court. Like you say it is going to be a long weekend for me - and for you!

Re you.... cannot your Union Rep try and get the missing papers for you. Also can he not change the date of your disciplinary to fit in with you as the current date is not convenient for you - or him.
If that is not to be....could the hospital keep him there until you collect him later in the day. I know it's not what you want to do but it may be the only option if your rep will not play ball with trying to change the date.

I feel exhausted. It's been a long day. Sorry to hear about Wendy Richard. It puts everything a bit more in perspective.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Thank you weetricia. I hope you are right in what you say about these bullies getting their comeuppance.
I have had a nastty letter telling me i can have my a/l after the grievance and disciplinary are over. How is that supposed to help me son and how am i supposed to sit through a disciplinary on the day my son is expected to be discharged from hospital with no one there to care for him. They really know how to hit you where it hurts.

Received copies of my supervision nots this morning by registered post at no charge to me. Amazing after all my times of asking shes finally managed to find a post box. Must be a shortage in her area.
Of course lots of pages are missing from them and even some complete notes have been conveniently lost. I know i don't stand a chance in hell of winning either the grievance or the disciplinary, i suppose i just have to be hapy that my voice is getting heard and i know its starting to get to her.

Christiane and Catkin, hows things going for both of you? Hope you are feeling stronger Christiane? I know its going to feel like the longest weekend ever but just stay strong and remember what you have fought and won already, something irreplaceable. Your life. We are al here for you and will all be thinking of you on Monday. Love Christina

Weetricia1
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mountie/Christiane,I haven't posted on this thread for a wee while as I'm back at work myself.However,I have been thinking of you both.I have been incredibly lucky with the welcome and support I've had on my return to work and feel very upset and angry on your behalf when I see how you are being treated.I'm a great believer in Karma and think that these people will get their comeuppance.It just might take a bit longer than you wish.Continue to believe in yourselves and Good Luck!
Tricia
XXX

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Horace your grandson is gorgeous and definitely deserves spoiling rotten though i'm sure you don't need to be told that. What a lovely reason to keep fighting you have. Sorry to hear about your broken leg. Must be really frustrating for you as i remember how fed up you were when you were immobile after the taxotere. Hope you get back on your feet soon (no pun intended).
Christiane, when i went for my first disciplinary i was convined i would turn into a emotional wreck. I have become a very emotional person since the bc and i even cry at advets. But because i had my union rep there as you will have your solicitor, you are aware of thier support and that gives you strength. Why not tell him your concern about becoming emotional as i did with union man and he agreed that if i started to get choked up i could touch his arm and we went outside for a break and a ciggie. Just knowing that he was there for me and believed in me got me through it and i was so pleased with myself after.
At the end of the day why shouldn't we get emotional though, we have been through the biggest battle of our lives to see a new dawn every day and if others don't understand that then maybe they should be given a sample of chemo. Which i would happilly dispense, especailly as part of the make up of chemo is rat poison.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. I live in South Staffs - about an hour and half away from you, I believe.

I had to find a solicitor in a hurry at the time and unfortunately he is not a 'no win, no fee' one - but he is good, experienced in disputes - and very expensive. I am also having to pay for my arbitrator now too. My solicitor says I have an 80% chance of winning - but that is still a 20% chance of losing! He says he never promises more than 80%! - but I think he personally thinks I have more chance than that but he will not promise that.

I am so grateful of this site, because I have been able to 'talk' and be 'listened to' where most of my 'friends' don't want to listen any more. It feels so unfair that we are being treated this way and also trying to deal with breast cancer. They are treating us worse than if we were 'normal'. I have forgotten what 'normal' is!

I am getting worked up because of my solicitor's appointment tomorrow and the arbitration on Monday. I just wish it was all over. I know I will go to pieces and get emotional and I know that is not the way to handle it. I am getting emotional now just thinking about it and the unfairness of it!

As Horace says, you will have copies of your emails, so your manager is digging herself into a really big hole!

horace
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties I dont usually post on this thread because it is outside my experience but I do hope you have copies of all your correspondence.If you have then your manager hasnt got a leg to stand on.
PS do you like my new grandson[avatar]and did you know that I am having problems with legs to stand on as I have broken my righr one!

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Thank you so much for your kind offer to come with me Christiane. It sis so lovely to know we are all here to help each other out during and after bc. I honestly believe i have gained more then i lost to bc.Whereabouts do you live? I'm in Leicester. Hope you don't mind me asking?
I know the financial cost must be a worry to you but surely your solicitor has told you what your chances were and whether he thought it was a case worth pursuing? I know they cost a lot but i thought they had to be honest from the onset and tell you whether your case was worth fighting and your chances of winning? Would it be too late now for it to become a no win, no fee case? Thats the basis acas have told me to employ a solicitor on if i decide to go to a tribunal. Remember we are all here for you day and night
I have had reply from work to say shes going to post my supervision notes out to me and i have to pay.Amazingly she says i have never asked for them to be posted out prev which is why she hasn't done it. Amazing.

catkin19
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

I hope you're keeping a note of all this Mounties, your manager is being extremely foolish. Trying to have a "private word" with you under these circumstances and withholding the notes is not going to look very good when/if it goes to tribunal. Does she not realise that trying to talk to you without a witness leaves *her* open to a further complaint? However I suppose she may be coming under pressure to "sort this out" quickly, for all you know her boss may be bullying her too!......
......Is there any possibility at all of some kind of mediation? Can ACAS not help? By the time things get like this and everyone is so angry and upset and people take up positions, then neither side can really "win" but neither will back down either. maybe it needs someone from outside who can help you communicate........

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. I was going to offer to come with you - I could have managed it Friday - but I think it better to do what ACAS have advised ie cash on delivery. If the papers don't arrive then I would have thought you have grounds to cancel the meeting on Tuesday until you have them.

As for me, what I am most worried about is the financial cost because if it goes wrong I will have lost a lot of money. I KNOW I'm right to fight this but I lose a lot of money if I lose. I can affort to lose some, but it now seems to be getting all out of control which I cannot afford to lose - and they know this. I think they think I will back down because of the costs involved.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

So sorry to hear this whole horrible process is getting to you. Like you say when you know you have done nothing wrong and never lied about anything unlike the people who are putting you through this hell it is hard and you do get doubtful moments.But you have come too far to give in to bullies, do you really want to be one of the rats following the pied piper? Because thats the alternative to going ahead and fighting your corner.You would never forgive yourself and what would you gain from never being heard? When i had my first disciplinary in August i was a quivering wreck and would have loved to have not turned up, but i put a photo of my late mum in my pocket and she fought bc too, once i got into the meeting room i felt so strong in my belief that i hadn't done anything to deserve what they were doing to me. I lost my disciplinary and my appeal but i had the satisfaction of knowing my story remained the same all the way through, proof you are not a liar, and i could hold my head up high.
As for me going alone i have spoken to acas who have told me not to go also. I don't have anyone in the world to accompany me, they advised me to send her a email which i've done telling her to post them asap and i will pay cash on delivery. She has no get out clause now and can't get to me as i will not see her till next tuesday when i have union rep with me.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. Do not recommend you go there alone. Is there no-one who could support you for PHYSICAL support. It is an ordeal you are going through, you are recovering from breast cancer and you are not well enough to go there on your own - are you? NO! YOU ARE NOT WELL ENOUGH! YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE WITH YOU FOR PHYSICAL SUPPORT! Your manager cannot refuse that. Take anyone.... a neighbour, anyone, but someone independent.

I am going through a difficult time at the moment myself. I see my solicitor and arbitrator tomorrow and at the moment feel very negative about it all. I feel very tearful that this can be happening. I have never been in any trouble in all my life and I am finding it hard to deal with at the moment as the arbitration date gets closer (Monday) - and especially as I have done nothing wrong.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

I think you are spot on Christiane about my union rep becoming more pro active. I know he has lots of caseloads to deal with but as i pay the same subs as everyone else i think its time i got a bit more support and not just advice.
She wants me to go in there today to collect them and has told me again i have to go alone as she wishes to have a private word with me, which means exactly what i thought would happen. She will have a go at me about the disciplinary hearing dates and my request for a/l. She's not a woman who likes to be challenged and can be very patronising and a damn convincing liar when it comes to denying anything that gets said.
I should have appointed a lawyer earlier so that they could deal with this as my union rep is based 40 miles away it won't be easy for him to collect them for me and i have no one else who would either accompany me or go there for me.So i suppose as i need them for next weeks grievance appeal i have to go alone into the lions den.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. You are right to forward her email on to your Union Rep and I think he should be dealing with all the correspondence with her from now on as your representative, not you. He will be able to see first hand how difficult she is being.

I think he could contact her and arrange to pick up the supervision notes on your behalf.

I think he could arrange with your manager a suitable date for the meeting at a time to suit you and him.

Your manager thinks she is in control of this situation, but she is not.

I think he will now have to start being more proactive.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

You are all right in what you say about me not going alone to collect my supervision notes. I emailed her today to ask her to post them out i even suggested she could deduct the cost of the postage from the money they owe me, but yet again she has said no i have to go alone to get them.
Also even though i told her yesterday that my union rep isn't available until week comm 23rd of march and i thought that would mean i could have my a/l to care for my son, she has replied today to say no cannot have a/l as she wants diciplinary to go ahead with or without my rep. She even said i should get colleague to accompany me. Yet i have been told several times i will be in breach of my suspension if i contact any of my work colleagues. Can't win. I have forwarded her email to union rep for him to deal with it i've had enough now.I am sick to death of her having a go at me when all i have ever done is my job and all i have asked for is a/l shes got to pay me for eventually anyway.

ripley
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Hey, Mounties

You have my utmost respect for maintaining your composure and enduring this fight against your employers whilst undergoing treatment.

Surely the e-mail is evidence of an attempt to harrass/intimidate you when you're on your own? If you were to turn up with someone is she going to have a hissy fit in public and insist you venture into her office alone? That would only serve to demonstrate her being unreasonable, wouldn't it? Perhaps you should consult your union rep and solictor on this matter. But I don't think you should go alone. If she doesn't want to send registered, you could always pay for a courier to collect it?

Best of luck!

xxx

catkin19
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Obviously you can't go alone, as some allegation will then follow that you have tampered with evidence/spoken to someone and bullied them/interfered with the computer system/whatever.........petty obstructiveness meant to intimidate you into not collecting the notes i guess. Can't she just send them by registered post? However at least if you physically go and collect them she can't claim they've been lost in the post/eaten by the dog or whatever........

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. Re your supervision notes. I would give your manager two choices:

1. Suggest you go with your Union Rep to collect the notes.
2. Or - your Union Rep could call and collect them on your behalf.

Do not go alone. I made that mistake.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Glad to hear you're feeling better Christiane. You'll be fine for your arbitration your anger and confidence in the knowledge that you are right in fighting will get you through it.
Had email from manager tonite to say f i want my supervsion notes i have to go in to get them alone. This is obviously because she wants to have a go at me on my own then deny it ever happened. I really need those notes for my appeal hearing, which she knows so why she can't post them or get a colleague to drop them off i do not know. She has sent bigger packs of letters out to me in the past and i would even pay the postage but i know she won't. Would you risk going in to get them?

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. Glad to hear about your good news. You've won the first round!

I'm feeling a lot better now thank you. It seems to have been a 24-hour bug and I'm better now. I just hope I don't have a recurrence next Monday otherwise I shall be spending all the arbitration in the loo.

My arbitration starts next Monday at 10.30am. I shall be thinking of you on the 3rd too.

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Had some good news today, union rep has agreed to be busy for the 2 weeks i want to spend with my son. He was amazed that she is such a hard faced cow considering i had told her reasons for wanting the leave and that i have 4 weeks remaining. Going to email her tomorrow and let her know, nothing she can do to find out otherwise but i know she'll be absolutely furious.
How are you feeling now? Is bug getting better. What time is your meeting next Monday and i'll be thinking of you

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. My oncologist told me vitually the same as you. She did not say I should not go ahead with the fight and actually said there was no clear evidence one way or the other that breast cancer or recurrence is caused by stress. She wished me luck.

I think I would have been more stressed if I had just sat back and let them do this to me.

As for your meeting on March 11th - I would have thought as you are the main character in this plot the date should be liased with you to see if it is convenient for you - which it clearly is not!

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well Christiane, probably a build up of all the stress you have been under fighting this ridiculous battle. I tell you i will never believe in the saying innocent till proven guilty ever again, especially when it comes to these bullies.

I have been to see my onc this morning who has told me to keep fighting as i have been through too much to stay alive to quit now. He did say though that my chances of recurrence of bc are high and as my tumour was so large meaning i had to have such a radical mastectomy i also have to weigh up the pros and cons of the effects this could all ultimately have on my life.But as i said to him i'm not a quitter and never walk away from a fight.

Had email from manager saying she wants disciplinary 11th of March two days after my son's op, how caring is that. I'm amazed that she thinks i will be capable of going through that 20 miles away from my son. So i've emailed union rep in the hope he's booked up that week so that i can have my a/l and go to look after my son. Wonder what she would do if it was one of her children.

You really get to know people going through this and learn what their priorities are.Well sorry my priority will always be my family and if i can get that time off she'll be furious but i do intend to bring it up at my grievance hearing too.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties. My situation is different from yours and Catkin's. It's not being dealt with by either ACAS or the DDA. It is an internal disciplinary process within a voluntary organisation.

It is a large international organisation (without mentioning names) whose main aim is to raise funds for charities and world crises. It is a Club of professional people who have to have 'high ethical and moral standing'.

I am fighting this to clear my name because they infer that I am of 'bad character'. In order to clear my name I need to have aplogies and reinstatement. It is not about money - except that solicitors costs have escalated because it has gone on so long. I have done nothing wrong but it is costly fighting it. The Club thought I would just walk away - but they were wrong. I am spending the children's inheritance to fight it! I hope when it is all settled I will get it back. My solicitor says I should have 'financial redress' but that is not the main issue.

On March 2nd I have arbitration. It is not a legal process, but an internal process which decides one's fate in the Club. It is an unfair system because the arbitrators from both sides and the 'judge' are all members of 'the organisation'. Very insular!!

My friends say I should have just walked away and not put myself through all this stress - but the group have said and done some awful things which are not true. It is the principle I am fighting for. How dare they treat me this way!

I may be taking them to court for defamation of character. I haven't finally decided yet. It will depend on the outcome of the arbitration.

Socratese said many years ago: "Regard your good name as the richest jewel you can possibly be possessed of - for credit is like fire: when once you have kindled it you may easily preserve it, but if you extinguish it, you will find it an arduous task to rekindle it again."

It is for this reason I am fighting my corner. I have done nothing wrong. They have succeeded in blackening my name and hopefully through arbitration they will have to go some way in trying to restore it - but I don't think this is now possible because they have succeeded in spreading things around about me which people, except my close friends, are believing.

It has been a nightmare - but I am hoping this nightmare is nearly ended. I know the truth - I have just got to get it over to the 'judge'.

I hope you get to look after your son. Be careful, they may check on your whereabouts - but surely you are not expected to be a prisoner and not to have any sort of private life?

(I have been bad this weekend with an awful sickness bug. I don't know if it is nerves - or a real bug - but I feel awful. I hope I shall be feeling alright for next Monday!!)

mounties
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Sorry Christiane, i know i might sound very stupid but what is the arbitration for? Is it to enable you to get back involved with the club again or to receive compensation for the awful way you have been treated? Who has arranged the arbitration and is it being done by ACAS or the DDA. Sorry to ask so many questions and i know you may have answered them previously but just wondered as your process is something i've not heard of before.
As for my episode and their refusal to let me have a/l to look after my son, someone has suggested i speak to the union rep to see if he'll agree to say he's booked up that week then they would have to postpone my disciplinary and i could go to newcastle to look after him.
Will let you know what happens when i get to talk to him tomorrow.

christiane
Member

Re: Being bullied at work

Mounties - Yes, I have listened to the podcast link. Very interesting and I have asked my solicitor to listen to it. The solicitor and arbitrator do not seem to be taking the DDA seriously as they consider it to be just to do with employment - but I have found that it also applies to Clubs. I hope I am right. I am raising the issue again.

Unfortunately I shall not be able to speak at the arbitration. It is only my arbitrator that can do the talking and she doesn't know all the facts. It will be so frustrating as I know the opposition will be telling lies and I am not able to speak to object. I think the whole affair will be a farce - but I am keeping my fingers crossed that in the end, the truth will come out and be listened to.

It is an ordeal and we should not be going through this.
I hope that my Pied Piper drowns with the rats too!