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Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

17 REPLIES 17
Guest user
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Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Thank you for all the prayers and good luck. I'll update tomorrow after my appt which is late afternoon. Luckily I've got my school volunteer job to keep me occupied until I have to go to the hospital.

Best of Luck Caroline. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow too. xx
Guest user
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Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Good luck to both char80 and caroline for your results tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you both and praying it's good news for you. My app is not til next Thursday, feels forever away.
Please let us know how you get on, ((((hugs))))
Faye xxx
tracyld
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Keep strong and you will cope with the news and any treatment that is needed. Take someone with you tomorrow as the wait seems endless. Sending you big hugs and positive vibes . Tracy xxx
Caroline60
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Hi Tracy thank you for your comments. I am now ready for the news - what ever this may be. I need to be in some control of the situation. My results are in tomorrow. All the comments on this site have been so positive and the phone support has been a god send. I informed my family in Ireland of what is happening - they have kept the communication brief - which has been helpful.

Caroline
Guest user
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Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

My appointment is tomorrow and this has been the worst day so far I cannot wit till tomorrow but at the same time I wish it would never come as I don't want to face the possibilitydis bad news 😞
tracyld
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Dear Caroline,
The waiting is the worst and there are so many in the waiting room this week that I uphold you all and send you lots of positive vibes. Keep posting and chatting on here as it really helps and keep yourself busy.
Big hugs to you Tracy xxx
Caroline60
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Dear all, I am just awaiting my results of a bioposy. I have just slept the whole time. I feel week, scared, and in tourmoil.M y legs and body feel weak with worry. I dont have immediate family in England - i have my husband and 2 children. and some friends at a distance. I decided to phone the BCC help line on Saturday as I had a bit of a panic attack - this was helpful. Iv cried alot.

On a positive note I just started reading a book called Politically Incorrect Jokes - which made me laugh out loud. I also had a very good day yesterday - getting myself ready for what ever news i am given. Today I slept as I could not sleep last night. I keep touching the lump on my breast - its still there.
tracyld
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Morning to you,
I hope you are keeping yourself busy. I read on your profile that you love baking cakes so I guess that may be on the agenda for today. Yummy choc brownie is my hubby's favourite! My daughter is 20 but she too loves making cakes . When it was her 18th Birthday she made all the cakes , iced and decorated them and they looked super on a hired cup cake stand.
Will be thinking of you on Wed, just try and stay calm. We know it is so hard but keep looking for the small things in life that can make us smile. my cat is curled up in a tight ball and she looks so cosy and warm, bless her. Sending you big hugs for Wed . Love Tracy xxx
shelly79
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Hi Char80 & Mummyto2,
I am 33 and am also waiting for my Breast clinic appointment it's wednesday, my nipple has changed and I think have some discharge.
Feeling very scared today like you too byt Tracy's post is wonderful! and has made me feel abit better, am thinking of you both and the support on here is amazing!
I have a 6 year old and keep thinking about her and my husband all the time.
Hugs to All todayXX

tracyld
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Yes it certainly does !! Life is for living and this is not a rehearsal so we must make the most of every single day. Tomorrow when we wake up look at all the wonderful autumn leaves in all their glory of rich reds, golds and yellows. Like the changing seasons we sometimes change by circumstance , so collect some of the leaves with your children, or kick a few around on the school run, but just take in the splendour of every small thing and you will be surprised at how we too can change. I remember when I was gardening this summer , my hubby said to me " what are you doing ?" . I was watching a snail climb from one leaf to the next and how he pulled his little home along with him. Things that I used to take for granted like a beautiful spiders web on a wet or frosty morning never cease to amaze me now.
Remember we are all here for you and we are sending you both lots of hugs. Love Tracy xxx
Guest user
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Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Yes Hun, you too. I've really sat and thought tonight how precious life actually is, it's so strange when your faced with something like this you suddenly don't feel invinsible anymore. I feel awful for thinking the things that I am...you know...the absolute worst outcome etc but it's so hard not to. My only experience with cancer is watching my brother fight his hardest to beat it, but he just couldn't, my parents went through the worst 4 months of their lives (and since, a lifetime of grieving for their boy). There was just the 2 of us and it's heartbreaking to think I may have to sit them down amd tell them I have it too. Gosh I'm really. Eing negative tonight, I need to get my head round this and try and think more positive.
My husband amd my children are my world and I don't know how THEY would cope with it, let alone me!

Even if my results are clear (fingers crossed) it kind of puts life into perspective a little bit doesn't it.
Guest user
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Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Thank you so much for the words of ressurance. It means alot to come back and read such encouragement. I am trying so hard to keep busy and try and take my mind off it. It's just the worst time. The wait is always horrific. I remember going through all this with Mum, and it sounds weird, but it was actually easier to cope with the diagnois of her BC than it was all this waiting around.
I think the things that has made me feel so anxious is the children. They are only just coming to terms with Mums prognosis, and I just can't bear the thought that I could have to tell them I have it too 😞 I know that's jumping ahead, but this wait makes everything so irrational.
Faye (Mummyto2) Massive hugs, it's just awful isn't it. Its the thought of the children that really makes me lose it, so I know just how you feel. It's such a rollercoaster of emotions, but these forums, and the wonderful ladies that post are such a comfort. I found alot of posts gave me such strength when Mum was diagnosed. I hope we both get great news from the breast clinic, please keep us updated when you get your appointment. I'll be thinking of you xx

Once again many thanks for responding, it means alot!
Guest user
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Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Hi Hun, I also posted yesterday for the first time after finding a lump in my left breast (like u, just to left of the nipple, opposite side) I'm also 32, and also have a history of cancer in my family, we lost my brother to it when he was just 26, 9 years ago. It's the most terrifying time isn't it, in awaiting my appointment for the breast clinic I haven't had a date yet. I can't even look at my 2 children without filling up.
so I just want you to know I know exactly what your going through, and I'm here to offer a hug....we both need one!! I really hope things go ok for you on Wednesday and it turns out to be nothing.
Faye xxx
VerityC
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Hi Char,
So sorry to read your post and for what you are going through. It is so difficult to put something like this to the back of your mind pending a scan and result, isn't it? Perhaps the way to TRY to look at this between now and Wednesday is that if would seem, from what you have said, that you have found the lump fairly early. It MAY NOT turn out to be cancer BUT if it is, you have found it, you will get good an prompt medical care if you need it, I am sure, because of your family history and it is better as there is something there to have found it and start dealing with it (whatever IT is) than to be ignorant of its presence.
I really hope that all works out well for you. If this proves to be cancer there WILL be people to help you. Things do fall in place when they have to.
Please try not to worry yourself senseless between now and Wednesday.
Take care.
V

dib
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Hi Char,youre going to worry whatever anyone says,just wanted to wish you good luck and reiterate what sdfmeg has said that most lumps are benign,
best wishes,Di.x

Guest user
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Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Hi Char80,
so sorry you have to deal with all this. Of course, you must be worried sick. It's only natural. Please try to bear in mind that most breast lumps are benign, and that there is a very good chance that you do not have breast cancer. I know Wednesday must seem a long way away, but you will get there and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the news is good.
Margaret
Janet_BCC
Member

Re: Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Dear Char80

I'm so sorry to hear what a tough time you are having. I'm sure other members will soon be along to offer support.

Can I also remind you that our helpline is there to offer information and support. They're open 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. 0808 800 6000.

Take care

Very best wishes

Janet

BCC Moderator

Guest user
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Beside myself with worry, 32 with lump and terminally Ill mum :(

Hi I've just signed up as a posteralthough I've read this forum since my mum was diagnosed in 2010.

I found a breast lump a week ago Thursday in my right breast the lump is just to the right of my nipple. Because my mum was diagnosed with breast cancerand secondary breast cancer in the liver 2 years ago I have always been very vigilant. I just can't believe it I went straight to my GP and have a referralFTP the breast clinic on Wednesday to have an ultrasound and appt with an oncologist.

Im just so frightened that my risk because of my mum is so much higher? She was diagnosed at age 51.

I have 3 children, and just feel so overwhelmed as I'm dealing with looking after my mum, coping with a very difficult teenager and working as well as caring for my grandfather with Alzheimer's I just feel like falling apart at the thought I too could have cancer and won't know how to manage!

Im beyond petrified have spent the last week+ in tears and panic I just don't know what to do 😞