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Bilateral people - advice required please

5 REPLIES 5
delly
Member

Re: Bilateral people - advice required please

Hi Dee and everyone else on here.

 

Firstly, to all of you, I'm sorry you're here for the reasons you are. I had my first mastectomy 2006 and the second, due to a new primary in that boob, 2007, not even a year later, so I truely DO understand your fears, and desires to elect to have your second boob removed.

I coped and bounced back brilliantly after my first mast. But the second smashed me to bits. When you still have one of your own, it's different to not having any. I was still a single woman, who was very proud of my body, had always taken good care to keep it in shape. Wouldn't describe myself as vain, just made the most of what body I had, so to speak. For both my masts, I wanted immediate recon, because I knew how it would affect my confidence (couldn't have them for reasons I shalln't go into right now), which it did - extremely badly. To the point that I've not had a relationship since. My reason being that - if I don't like looking at myself in the mirror, I sure as hell don't want somebody else looking at me in the "bedroom department". Any thoughts of intimacy were a No-No. Don't know what any of your marital statuses are (to give it an official title!!), but that all comes into your decision ref your other elected mastectomy and whether you opt for recon. Personally, especially if you're single (that's with no disrespect to long term married women, btw), I would highly recommend you have recon.

However, I'm at my first stage of very delayed implant recon, due to other major happenings of the last 9 yrs, and I immediately got my confidence back from just these two expander bumps. Can't tell yers, how I felt to see me more like the old Delly. Couldn't wait to get to the ward bathroom immediately after my op, to whip my pyjama top off and have a look. Shouted "Whoo-hooo" at the top of my voice!! It'a whole load of pallaver, this delayed recon biz. You're so much better to have immediate recon. Saves a whole loada time and messing about. Plus results tend to be better too, from what I've researched and have been told/seen from experience.

But going back to being a bi-lateral mastectomier (?!), I never had any issues with prostheses and bras riding up. much of obviously depends on their fit. After I'd received my prostheses, I took myself to a specialist shop "Womanzone" in Warrington and Carol there was absolutely brill. I came outa there feeling a million dollars and £200 lighter, but I went the whole hog and treated myself to 3 bras and lovely matching briefs. And happy, so what. But I only ever felt confident about myself when I had my clothes on !!

I joined a dating site last August, that's how much more confident I feel, even though I'm only part way through, having another two ops to go, replacement of expanders with silicons, followed by a 3 month rest to allow "things" to settle or "hang" before nipple recon. Then the icing on the cake, of course, is areolar tattooing. Quite fancy that job myself !!

So please do bear all of this in mind and I hope it helps you.

 

Good luck to you all, keep well and keep posting on this wonderful forum girls. You need it, and we will also need you at some point. Thanks for being here

Lotsa love to you all

DoolallyDelly xxxxxxxx 

Laineybo
Member

Re: Bilateral people - advice required please

Hi Dee

My second surgery  was elective hence my surgeon  initially refusing  as said didn't  want to remove a healthy breast

I persuaded him eventually on the basis that I  felt I  couldn't  trust my own body

and felt betrayed and alienated from my remaining  breast.I think NHS funding  is tighter than in 2010 and a second breast removal is often refused unless your risk is high

With prostheses it depends on the bra and the prostheses  must fit the cups properly but it is easier to get it right with 2 prostheses  than one!

Incidentally I had no pain after either mastectomy  and didn't  need pain killers x

I

 

 

Issytay8654
Member

Re: Bilateral people - advice required please

Hello Dee, I had a mastectomy of my left breast in June 2016 and an elected mastectomy of my right breast in October 2016. I had cancer in my right breast in 2010 so when it returned in the opposite breast last year I decided to have an elected mastectomy of my right side as it had already been dx with cancer previously. It is taking a while to feel better about it all, I still can't wear a bra comfortably and more often than not I just don't bother wearing one at all. i do find it better to have both sides gone than having one and a missing one. I don't feel lopsided any more. I do still get some pain, but it's still early days.

Dee3927
Member

Re: Bilateral people - advice required please

Thanks Lainey, Like you my Dr would rather go down the recon. route, its not for me either. Can I ask you a personal question? Please feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but was the whipping off of number 2 elective? And when you do were your protheses does your bra move? Thanks for replying xx

Laineybo
Member

Re: Bilateral people - advice required please

Hi Dee

 

I had my first mastectomy in February  2010 and second in November  2010.My consultant was also reluctant and I saw a psychologist who declared me sane lol!

Have never regretted  my decision and my posture improved  greatly after the second op and I no longer slouch

I refused  reconstruction and this really  seemed to genuinely annoy my surgeon. I do loads of exercise and hardly  ever wear prostheses and my confidence has not been affected

When I  do wear them i  have a choice as to whether  to wear the larger or smaller  sets which is truly  liberating so Katy Price or Keira Knightly!

Go for it with confidence x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dee3927
Member

Bilateral people - advice required please

Hello everyone, can anyone give me some advice please on the pros and cons of living with both of the buggers off!! I was diagnosed with er positive cancer in the left breast in 2014. Have lumpectomy followed by chemo and rads. All good until Jan 2016 when I found another lump, same breast close to the original site. So chemo then mastectomy and lymph nodes removed. Although I'm lobsided I've not missed it at all, the relief its gone (for the time being at least) far outweighs having it. I have a prothsesis and have very few issues with it, the worst being that my bra moves towards the right side. At the time of the 2nd diagnosis I asked by Dr. to remove both (one less place for it to come to). She refused giving a number of reasons but did promise to reconsider at a later date. I've recently seen her and she has kept her word and has referred me to a clinical phycologist, she has also said that it isn't a mirical cure and there are definately issues with bilaterals such as bras rolling up and not being stable. Has anyone had a single then double and whats the difference on a day to day basis or are there any double people who can advise. Please help, this is a massive decision and as much as I trust my Dr (she is fab) she hasn't had cancer and hasn't lived  with the results. Thanks in advance xx