Biopsy yesterday, waiting result & told very likely

[hannah203]

Hi Niki and Bernie
Thanks for your kind words. I have been interested in mindfulness recently and I have been using an app for it. I know the haven also do courses in it. Have either of you heard of the haven? It is a center for women with breast cancer and they provide complimentary therapies. There's only 3 at the moment though.
How are you doing Bernie?
Glad your xray was all good Niki xxx

[La-La]

Hi Hannah...
So sorry you are feeling lousy.
Don't you dare beat yourself up though..,
You have been a great help to me and a load of others on this site, so you are absolutely allowed to have a wobble, we all are.

I'm like you and am assuming my 'capable / no-nonsense/bull by the horns' nature will get me through, but at the end of the day we are humans and this disease does not differentiate on personality types I fear.
Much as I like to think I'll be one of the lucky ones and not get wiped out by chemo, I suspect I will. It is a lot for our bodies to cope with.
(Still determined to get Mistletoe Extract to help fight it though!!!)

So you have your wobble and cry if you meed to. And you have us to talk to. (Don't know how I'd get through this without this site.. so lucky I stumbled on it in google!!)

I studied Mindfulness when my mum was dying last year and that has helped me through this (breathing technique stopped a major panic attack in it's tracks today! (I'd convinced myself my Chest XRay showed cancer! It was totally normal!!)

Mindfulness is on the Complimentary therapy list on this site.
Ask your BCNs about it, and also Reiki/reflexology/acupuncture.. I think MacMillans help fund some treatments.
I think we are going to need it!

Love and hugs to all.
Niki

[Bernie610]

Hello Hannah ! So glad you are feeling much better today I have a wig appointment Wednesday so I do hope I am well enough to go! Oh great re the hot flushes will look forward to those too then lol xxx

[hannah203]

Hello ladies thank you for your kind words thy have helped me. I felt a bit better today have been to town with a friend and we got my wig!! It looks nice so got some positives to work on there. Hope you do OK Bernie these next couple of days. Jules hope all goes OK with oncologist I was feeling the same about just wanting to get on with things.
How soon at the hot flushes supposed to start because I think I have been having a couple!!!! Maybe just the hot weather lol xxx

[jules_66]

Hi Hannah. Sorry to read you've had a rough weekend and hope you feel better soon. You definitely haven't fallen and through this rollercoaster of a journey we can all allow ourselves some less positive times. You will bounce back. I'm off to see Oncologist on Thursday and likely to be starting chemo next week - am dreading it but at the same time just want to get on with it. Take care and love to you Jules xx

[Bernie610]

Oh Hannah, it's horrible isn't it that it's all part of the treatment feeling rough but hopefully you will feel a bit better as the week progresses. You can ring the ward and ask to be Px another sickness drug if what you have been Px isn't working. Please don't feel you have fallen at the first hurdle it's a damn enormous hurdle you are having to get through and you are doing really well. Sending you a big hug. Hannah you are far too young to be going through this. I am feeling pretty cheated going through it having just turned 50 and having been perfectly well before so I can't imagine how you feel. You can do this Hannah everyone is there with you xxxxx. I'm chemo first too FEC & FEC T I believe is that the same as you? Thanks for your good wishes I will to let you know how it goes when I can. I started a new thread if you click on my name it should show up- just about starting chemo April/May. Speak soon xxx

[hannah203]

Good luck to you for tomorrow Bernie 🙂 what chemo are you having?


I've had a rough weekend from it.... Feeling sick and nauseous. Reality check for me as I've had a very positive outlook since diagnosis (no surgery yet having chemo first) and now I feel like I've fallen at the first hurdle... 😞 hate feeling pessimistic but everyone keeps telling me how strong I am, but I don't feel strong physically!!!! Xxx

[Bernie610]

Hi Hannah it was fine I believe. Hope your first session has gone ok and that you feel ok. Thank you, was planning on spending the weekend getting house in order but keep being dragged out!! Ha! take care xxx

[hannah203]

Hope your assessment went well today.... Make sure u enjoy your weekend 🙂 xxx

[Bernie610]

Oh same to you Hannah. I had a call earlier and will start on Monday all being well at assessment Friday xx

[hannah203]

Hi Bernie
All the best for your chemo I am starting tomorrow! Xx

[Bernie610]

Hi hope you are all ok? Well CT & bone scan managed ok MRI was a whole different ball game however! Apparantly CT & bone scan results are fine apart from an area on my shoulder that they are not worrying about. I am very apprehensive however as have been here before, hearing something positive & at next appointment everything changing. But fingers crossed. Saw oncologist yesterday will start chemo next wk. Take care everyone x

[Bernie610]

Hi Ladies thanks for the info. Had CT scan today one down! Know it is the easier of the 3 so still anxious. Ha I to keep holding my breath for very short periods the last one I was thinking hang on think they forgot to tell me to breath i nearly exploded!! Must do it a lot! Gosh there seem to be so many ways of doing the MRI, building up to bone scan Friday, still no MRI date. Hope you are ok Sheila know it was your result day xx

[hannah203]

Hi Bernie my MRI was face down - thought they were joking st first! There was also a hole for my boobs to rest in and no holding breath for me. Painless, but it is unpleasant I didn't find the unpleasantness overwhelming and they also had some air blowing through the tube and a mirror to look out so you don't feel so claustrophobic. Hope that helps. Xx

[sod6162]

Thank you Bernie. I had CT a month ago. Felt a bit woosy during, strange warm rush. I was on my back for all scans,, keeping still. Bone scan took 30 mins, 10 at hip, chest and head. It moves around you clockwise every 6 seconds so you get half the 5 mins looking at the ceiling. The MRI requires holding your breath in on command (he forgot to tell me to breathe out after the first time....hahaha). So, I hope that helps a little bit? It is the waiting that's the absolute pits. Longest month of my 50+ years... onward and upward girls!

[Bernie610]

Hello Gilly thank you so much for your message and best wishes xxx

[Bernie610]

Hi Jo and Sheila thank you for your kind messages and thoughts despite you having your own bad days and worries and I really do apreciate it. Wishing you every thing positive for your results tomorrow Sheila. No I don't know what to expect from the scans. The BC nurse said I would be on my side for MRI but all the images I have seen are with the patient face down what was yours like? I wonder if it depends on which authority and machine unused? Thank you for telling me the timings I feel a little better about that. I have my CT scan in the morning I think I will ask the process for the bone and MRI scan whilst I am there. Again Sheila I am wishing that you have the best news tomorrow. Virtual hug to you and to you Jo also xxx

[jules_66]

Hi Jo. Hope you are doing ok. Thanks for your lovely message. Feeling much brighter again thanks and full on positive and determined again. Will be good to get results next week but going to focus on enjoying the sun for now, oh and meeting up with countless friends for coffee-at this rate I will end up with a caffeine addiction too! These forums are just fantastic and I don't know how I'd have got through without the love and support from all you lovely ladies. Take care xxx

[Butterfly318]

Evening Bernie & Sheila

Just want you ladies to know people are thinking about you and wishing you well.  Hopefully Bernie your GP will have prescribed something like Diazepam or another anti anxialitic which work well when you have to attend an appointment that you are really struggling with / panicking / increased anxiety (to put it mildly).......

I know on the forum a number of ladies have been prescribed anti depressants and they seem to work well for some people but they are not fast acting and they don't work for everyody.

The melt down / massive stress / being unable to manage is really the bodies way of dealing with a perfectly natural response to an unnatural situation.

Bernie good luck with the biopsies / tests / scans etc....  Take Care  Gilly x

[jules_66]

Hi Bernie. Just wanted to send you love and hugs. This whole journey is such a rollercoaster and I don't think there is any right way to deal with it all. Remember everyone is different and works through things differently and just because one person is positive doesn't make someone who is tearful any less of a person. I really hope you get everything resolved soon, I do believe the waiting is the toughest part. Whatever the outcome once we know we can move forward. With regards to the MRI I've had a couple in the past and they were fine, just noisy and chilly! Ask if you take an iPod or suchlike so you can listen to music or relaxation techniques. Keep talking to us, we are all here to help each other. Take care xxx

[sod6162]

Hi Bernie, I've been reading your posts for the past couple of weeks, and really empathise with you.  I was told 4 weeks ago that I have BC, invasive ductal grade 3, HER2+ and node as well.  Since then I've had the bone scan and MRI as suspicion of secondary in bones and liver.  Have you been told how it works? It only took 12 mins, and only the last 2 were noisy/unsettling.  I found the bone scanner close to my face was worse (more claustrophobic) but found counting down with the scanner clock helped.  I will be getting my results from these scans tomorrow....finally.  someone else said try to stay in the present, I try to, but it's hard as I'm single with 19yr old son and try to look calm for his sake.  I sincerely hope for some positive news for both of us.  Hugs xxx Sheila

[Jobey68]

Hi Bernie, you poor love, it's bloody awful and I just don't know what to say to help you feel any better, I do know I would be an utter wreck like you, are you on any medication long term from the doctors? The first thing I did when I was diagnosed was get some antidepressants,I've never taken any in my life before but knew from the off I needed something to help me before I went out of my mind, i can totally and utterly feel every ounce of despair you are feeling as Id convinced myself I would be heading down the worst route, please keep talking to us, much love to you xx

[Bernie610]

Hi Kess Thank you for your reply. Good luck

[Bernie610]

Hi Kim and Jules thank you for your messages of support. Things haven't got any better have CT & bone scan later this wk no MRI date yet. Absolutely dreading the MRI I do not know how I will do it. GP has prescribed me something to take orally on the day but I don't hold out much hope. I am more down, more scared and less functional as each day passes. Can't seem to shake it off GP has Px something for the biopsy pain that should help. I really don't want to have to sit and listen to more bad news. I really hope you are both having more positive days now and feeling better about things xx

[Jobey68]

Hi jules,

Sorry to hear your having a down day, I had them every blooming day and struggled to pick myself and you've been through far more than I have so you have every right to be feeling blue, I got some antidepressents straight away from my doctor as I knew I was on the verge of melt down from the off, never taken a thing in my life but they really did help me, I now have to change as Im on Tamoxifen but my GP is insisting I have a heart scan before he will prescribe what my consultant has requested so I've been back on to the Breast clinic and they are going to sort him out! I'm not going though any more tests if I don't have To, been through far too much already, I know your results day seems so far away still but I found I totally lost track of what day it was as I was feeling so low so yesterday seemed to come around quite fast really, there is nothing you can do other than wait and it's the hardest part of all of this, there really should be a quicker way of getting results as its so cruel, get as much rest as you can and let your poor body heal, I'm still sat in bed although I should be up doing chores now, there are plenty of them! Hope your feeling a bit brighter later, I found evenings were my best time when my hubby was home but nights and mornings were terrible, lots of love to you and I'm always here if you need a chat. Love Jo xx

[Jobey68]

Hi Bernie,
How rotten for you, it's just a never ending roller coaster that no one wants to let you off of, I think you would rather know nothing at all until they have the full picture, it's hard enough without them constantly changing the news, my heart really goes out to you as I have lived under the same black cloud for the past two months and it's utterly horrendous, I did get better news yesterday so I refuse to feel sorry for myself any longer, we are all here for you to talk to and vent your feelings with, they will sort you out once they have the full picture but I can understand how devastated you must be feeling, please keep in touch, lots of love and virtual hugs to you. jo xx

[jules_66]

Hi Bernie. So sorry you got the news you did yesterday. Let's hope once the MRI and bone scan are done they have complete picture so you know exactly how to move forward. This journey is such a rollercoaster and pushes stress levels to the max. I'm on a 'down' day today, not quite sure why except the bruising is soooo painful and makes sleeping so difficult. Also the 23rd (results day) still seems an age away and just I want to know now so I can move on to next stage of treatment. Going to give myself a good talking to and pick myself up again. Sending you love and hugs xxx

[Bernie610]

Thanks for bra advice xx had bad news today. Sentinel biopsy result-out of 8 half infected so need full clearance core biopsy result was invasive ductile this result says is it is actually lobular. Need MRI, CT and bone scan and op next wk cancelled. Was feeling ok now feel absolutely terrible and that it is not good outlook at all x

[jules_66]

Hi all and thank you for your comments. So reassuring to hear others experiencing same aches and pains. Yesterday was a tough day and not feeling too great today, seriously beginning to think maybe I did a bit too much too soon! Have just driven for first time, was generally OK but wouldn't want to go too far yet. Off to see the nurse shortly to get dressings and wound checked. Oh a big excitement later........new washing machine arriving. Will be nice not to have to wipe up leak after each load!! Gosh my life is full of excitement! Have a good day ladies xx

[13gerbera]

Hi Bernie,

I'm 10 weeks post op (almost finished radiotherapy now :D) and struggled with bras too as I'm a G cup even without the swelling.  The best two makes I found, based on advice from the lovely ladies on this forum, were Macom which you buy according to band size and the cups stretch to fit up to an H I think although one lady was a J cup and she also wore them (you can google them to find out more) and Royce Lingerie bras which don't go up to quite as large sizes.  Not cheap unfortunately, but comfortable.

Hope that helps

xx

Sharon

[Kess]

Hi ladies. Just wanted to reassure you that both the tightness and the nerve changes will improve. Do make sure sure you keep doing the exercises they make a big difference. I really feel for those of you still waiting for results, both for a diagnosis and post op. It's such a stressful and worrying time. Give yourself space to feel anger, or upset, or a bit lost. All totally normal reactions.

[Tra16]

Hi Jules

Day 5 and 6 post op were the worst for me. Had to take codene and ibruprofen every 4 hours as stabbing pains were quite intense. Day 7 onwards just had tightening again and weird numb tingling sensations down arm. I'm now 11 days on from op and got a lot more movement despite some swelling and not taking any pain killers.

Hope it all eases for you soon

Tracey
X

[Bernie610]

Hi Jules glad you are ok. I have the same nerve pain too from my sentinel biopsy. The weirdest feeling! Half my arm feels numb at times but varies from feeling like I have really bad sunburn to electric shocks up and down my arm. Did you manage to find some post op bras? I’m struggling as I unfortunately have larger than average boobs!! happy Easter everyone x

[newey47]

Hi Joules

I am 4 weeks post Mx, full node clearance and immeidate recon tomorrow.  Still tight in boob area, healed up fine by 10 days and all dressings off. Still get funny, strange shooting pains, yes even when sitting still.  Still pulls when walking, bending etc, feels really strange all the time.  I too am hoping it will get better with time, its still early days yet.  Glad you had a good easter with family.  I did too and I know what you mean about a florists, my house was like that for a couple of weeks. xxx

[jules_66]

Morning ladies. Well I'm now on my 5th day since MX and SNR. Am doing OK, just can't believe how tired I get, so frustrating! Had to take a trip to local hospital Saturday as felt unwell and wound was so painful. Bit messy in places so cleaned out and redressed and back tomorrow for rechecking. The thing that's surprised me most is the change of feeling in my chest and arm, apparently the nerve damage. Most odd sensation, does anyone know if this is improves? Also get shooting pains from wound, even when sitting totally still. All very bizarre! Hope you all had a nice Easter, I was surrounded by family which was lovely and they and my friends have been wonderful, honestly my house looks like a florists, I am so lucky. Take care all xxx

[jules_66]

Hi Bernie, yes I came out this am which was great. Spent afternoon pottering around and even did some ironing!! Rested on sofa this evening as had lot of grief from those around me for doing too much. I feel fine and am glad I can do little jobs.
I didn't watch debate but the NHS get a big thumbs up on how I've been treated since the start of this journey.
Right best try and sleep so night night xx

[Bernie610]

Oh so glad the op is over for you. Another wait for yet more results but you are on your way. Are you home? Thinking of you, onwards and upwards another hurdle over for you. I'm just watching the big debate on TV the NHS is of course a major part of the discussion. It has brought it home to me recently what a resource it is, despite having worked in it previously for 20 years. Being on the other side brings it home. Good luck Jules xx

[jules_66]

Hi Bernie. Now can say I'm post op. Feel fine, bruised and like an elephant has sat on chest but only mild pain which just paracetamol control. Nausea from the anaesetic has def been worst part. Now to wait for results in 2-3 weeks time, then will know what's next. Jules x

[Bernie610]

Sorry pressed post by mistake. The screening will not be completed yet and for me is for the sake of my family rather than me and I hope it also helps cancer research as a whole. How are you doing?

[Bernie610]

Hi Hannah yes screening has been discussed however it's a given for me that I am very high risk so the result will not change my mind. Even if it isn't a BRCA screening won't be Hi Hannah yes screening has been discussed however it's a given for me that I am very high risk so the result will not change my plan even if it isn't a BRCA it seems there could be another rouge gene out there. screening won't be completed until completed until

[hannah203]

Good luck with it Bernie your treatment plan sounds like you've got everything covered. Are you having genetic testing? If you don't have the BRCA1/2 would you still opt for mastectomy? .... Just throwing it out there as an idea xxx

[Bernie610]

Hi Jules I have been re reading messages and saw your op was today. Hope it went as well as can be and wish you a speedy recovery x

[Bernie610]

Hello I thought I would ask how you ladies have got on since my last post? It's been a dollar coaster told one thing then another very confusing. However it is confirmed I have provisional grade 2 invasive ductal receptive to oestrogen and progesterone in my right. After telling me this I was then told that after much discussion at the MDT they were suspicious of something in my left also. My heart sank as I saw a glimmer of positivity being receptive to oestrogen for a minute then to be told that was horrendous. Anyway another ultrasound later & it seems ok. What was also greatly discussed at the MDT apparently was that I am now considered very high risk due to family history. Large excision would be usually recommended but mastectomy was discussed as being maybe a good option. Risk reducing surgery for the left was also discussed. I have decided to have both with reconstruction. I had the sentinel lymph node biopsy this wk & a proposed surgery date for 2 weeks for the cancerous breast. If biopsy ok can have reconstruction same time. Will then have to be referred to psychologist before can have the other removed as per NICE guidance. I understand the protocol but really given the risk and my concern the resource is surely wasted! I understand it does not completely
eliminate all risk but will help me sleep a little better.

[hannah203]

Hi Jules it sounds like the more info you get the easier it is to deal with it as you understand it more!! Its great you are getting all your treatment sorted after having to wait SO long in the first place for results. Hoping your pains are psychological, lots of hugs back to all xx

[jules_66]

Good luck today Bernie, I will be thinking of you xx

Kim we all react differently, crying is a good release of the emotions, not sure bottling up inside is the best way but I don't seem to be able to.. I spoke to BC nurse yday to ask more questions. I now know mine is Grade 3 invasive Ductal (so worse than I first thought) and she said will be treated aggressively from outset so that makes chemo and radio more likely. Still waiting on HER,2 status but we know its Hormone Receptor oositive, which is a good thing as can have tablets in future to offer further protection. I most worried that its spread, although they've not indicated it has, I have awful pains in my chest and up to and around my shoulder. Hoping its psychological but not convinced! 

Hannah I hope you don't have to wait too long but its good to hear you have supportive friends and family. Keep us posted.

Keep strong lovely ladies, big hugs to you all xxxx

[hannah203]

Good luck today Bernie. Is someone going with you to get the results?
Good luck in telling your daughters too. It will be easier to talk to them after today & thursday once you know what's going to happen.
I was worried about taking the time off but no one will judge you and self preservation is so important!!! I have been worrying about taking the time off in case it turned out to be benign but then I figured people would only be happy for me. I've only told my line manager and one colleague but they have been extremely supportive and have picked up my work for me.
And spontaneous treats are always great... this weekend I had a walk along the sea front and then had a haircut and it was great not thinking about the results and feeling normal for a day. So I would definitely recommend some 'me' time.
Virtual hugs to you Xxx

[Bernie610]

Thanks for helping Jules. Good luck keep talking xxx

[Bernie610]

Kim your not being a baby it's a big thing to deal with. Virtual hug XX