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Can't focus on anything today

36 REPLIES 36

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Thank you Annie x I did my first lot of exercises today and found them ok I will keep them up so I don't stiffen up etc I'm a bit tired today but other than that ok. My wound feels hot rather than sore but I'll take my painkillers regardless just to make sure it doesn't creep up on me. thank you ❤️
Anniej
Community Champion

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee, well done. 👍 So pleased for you. That's step one over. I'm eleven weeks post op, and the best advice I can give you is to make sure you exercise. Won't be easy at times, but worth it to escape other problems. Definitely keep going with pain killers as once the local wears off as you need to be medicated. Yes, do be kind to yourself, after all, you really deserve it! Good luck. X

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Good morning
So pleased all went well for you yesterday. From my experience best advice I was given is listen to your body, be kind to yourself and keep the painkillers topped up. Oh yes and this morning you should be feeling proud of what you achieved yesterday. First step to beating this little blighter that came uninvited. Hugs xxx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Thank you xx operation all done and I got home last night, the doctors and nurses were great and after the initial grogginess I felt fine. I woke up thirsty and just wanted to eat! Got my exercise plan to start today so that's my first step this morning after I've had my tea and breakfast. X

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee. Hope it went ok today. A big step on your road to recovery! xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Thank you Debbie that's so reassuring to hear xx I think that's what did it for me today was hearing all that from the doctor xx I know he was probably trying to help in some way but it gave exactly the opposite reaction xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee. Know what you mean about the doctor, I felt the same after my first visit to GP after diagnosis etc. I think we get used to them telling us it's nothing to worry about, so when they look all serious and sympathetic it comes as a shock somehow! Likewise when friends cry or tell you they're going to pray for you! (All mean well, of course). I had left mastectomy May 2016, didn't need chemo or rads, just anastrazole for next 10 years. Life back to more or less normal. Debbie xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Thank you Helena I will xxx

Hi Debbie yes coming on here as helped me so much. I can say how I feel without feeling guilty about it if you know what I mean, the support I've received has been phenomenal and it has helped keep me sane. I understand what you mean when you talk about other people feeling the same it's so reassuring to know that how you feel is the same as everyone else in this horrible situation.

Hugs to all of you and thank you xx

Fee xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Sorry thst should say 19 may not march

 

Re: Can't focus on anything today

 

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi fee, just wanted to say i feel exatley like you, i was diagnosed with grade two invasive ductual carcinma on friday, i see surgeon on 19th of march , i dont no my receptor results yet, im trying to take it one day at a time, i went back to work today , after a weeks holiday, what a rotten weeks holiday it was finding out i had breast cancer,, but i want to be as normal as i can , coz i think normslity will keep me sain, i told close colleagues that work with so if i have a bad day, they know why, and they can give me the kuck up the arse i might need,coz i know there is gonna be good and bad days ahead, but its lovely to read other peoples stories on here, and you realise that all these emotions we are having are totally normal, and we are not alone, big hug to you xx im not very advanced on this rollercoaster ride, but always here if you wanna chat xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Thankyou Helena! x

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Fee

 

I am absolutely certain you will be very well looked after.

 

We are all going to be with you "virtually".

 

Sending you a lovely hug and let us know when you can how you got on.

 

Helena xxxx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Sandra

 

Yay, so glad to hear that you are out of hospital, well done lady 🙂

 

It does give you a different perspective on life doesnt it.  Good that you are getting support as it will be so important as part of your recovery and mvoing forward.

 

Helena xxx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

I can't thank all of you enough xxxx so sorry forblurting all this out .. I just don't want to be a burden to my family and feel guilty that they are all so worried and I've bottomed out today on being positive xx tomorrow is scary but I know the doctors will look after me xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee!
I have come out of hospital today after my second op!
I am have had the same feelings as you and been a total mess!
I have spent 5 days in hospital as I didn't fancy being at home on my own with a drain!
There were some very poorly people in there which put things into perspective for me! I have a second chance at life and am going to be around to enjoy it!
I am accepting any support I can get and start CBT this week....I have aromatherapy and am going to introduce some more complimentary therapies offered by a local Sara Lee trust.
You will be fine tomorrow another step closer to recovery!

Sandra x

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Honestly, you are utterly normal and you'd be a bit weird if you didn't feel like this.  I was at my worst on Tuesday night/ wednesday morning.  First time I've cried.    Just remember that

 you will, like many other fab ladies, get through this.   good luck for tomorrow and actually now is the worst bit.  Sending you virtual hugs.  I did find that other people thinking it was the end of the world made me feel worse.  

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Honestly, you are utterly normal and you'd be a bit weird if you didn't feel like this.  I was at my worst on Tuesday night/ wednesday morning.  First time I've cried.    Just remember that

 you will, like many other fab ladies, get through this.   good luck for tomorrow and actually now is the worst bit.  Sending you virtual hugs.

Re: Can't focus on anything today

I think you'll be surprised at how quickly you bounce back after your op. I had mastectomy and lymph node removal and was up and about within 24 hours. I was sitting in the pub having pie within 48 hours. My 3 year old grandson was over for dinner yesterday and I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't allowed to swing him around the kitchen. 😀
It's completely natural to worry. I used to worry before the bc when I had absolutely nothing to worry about, so didn't really stand a chance.
Gettin out to of the house and going to eat nice food and enjoy a glass of wine helps me.
You'll be fine tomorrow and will have crossed a big part of your treatment off the list. X

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi feelthefear,

Thank you for replying I am trying so hard to be positive today and with two young kids I'm just worried I guess, after speaking to the doctor I felt like my balloon had burst I've had a few not great days but overall I've been trying to keep life normal, but I've really struggled today after speaking to the doctor. My op is tomorrow and I'm a bit of a wimp to be fair so I'm hyper worried and overthinking xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi fee. I think we all feel like that sometimes. For me, it's the waiting for results. I feel positive most of the time, but then because it's in at least some of my lymph nodes (or was before op last week) and the mass is 10cm 😳😳 If I don't work hard at keeping myself in check I can go from feeling good about things to being in an absolute state within minutes. Convincing myself that I'm on death row.
To be honest, I don't think your GP has done you any favours talking like that. We need to be surrounded by positivity. My sister in law cried when she was leaving my house the other day. That didn't do me any favours either. I plan on having a long life (I'm 43) so I don't think this journey is going to be that long in the scheme of things. Mastectomy (done)
Then chemo for 12 weeks. Then all thing being well I plan to get on with my life. I've had numerous relatives who have had bc and it certainly hasn't defined them. They've had treatment and moved on quickly. We will too. X

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi flying

Thank you so much for your reply xx I'm having a major meltdown today can't stop crying I'm terrified. I just feel totally beaten down and I had to go to gp for a doctors certificate today as my operation is tomorrow, he was telling me how sorry he was about my diagnosis etc and how I should talk about how I feel and that it's gonna be a long process etc and I just came out of there and absolutely cracked down the seams. I just want to hide away and forget any of this ever happened does that sound pathetic ? I'm just not coping with this today so sorry for being so negative and down x

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi

 

i've just had lumpectomy and blue dye.   The injection of radioactive stuff was a total walk in the park.  Much easier than a mammo.  You lie on a bed (very narrow) and have an injection just above the nipple.  You then massage your nork a bit to make sure it goes to the lymph nodes.  Then the bed moved towards the x ray machine and you just lie there while three pics are taken - they take five mins each.  Honestly, it was a bit like having a body wrap beauty treatment while you wait for various ungents to work.  You can move your arm, drive, be normal afterwards.

 

the lumpectomy for me was only stressful because it was severely delayed and the tension of waiting and worry that I would be sent home was awful.  Afterwards they say you might look pale and blue but I didn't.  I did have rather exciting green wee but it wore off by day two.  Nothing else looks blue.   The pain is dealable with with normal painkillers.  When you get home make sure you take para and neurofen in two hourly alternate intervals.  I was very late home (midnight) so next day didn't do anything.  By Saturday, I had coffee out with friends for an hour.  Yesterday went to Tesco to buy crop tops ..  I've just put a wash on.   I have normal movement in my arm.  I am a bit constipated and weeing loads but am drinking tons.  Feel vaguely tired but no longer fuzzy headed.   

 

Under my wounded arm pongs a bit so I recommend you get in scented wet wipes.  Buy soft crop tops too.

 

i was really wobbly two weekends ago.  Assumed I was riddled with cancer.  Like you appearing normal for everyone and at work.   Work managed to upset me me totally possibly because I was so happy when I found out biopsies for calcium things were benign and I wouldn't have the mx.  Did get the impression that my senior manager thought I was just going in for an ingrowing toenail op.   Apart from that, it's not as bad as what you are now going through.

 

good luck and you will be fine.

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee70, I had a lumpectomy on the 14th September last year and as stated in the other comments the dye is there to check the lymph nodes.  I was out of hospital the following day and had the results of the biopsy in under a fortnight.  I started chemo in December and am now half way through Radiotherapy.  The diagnosis and everything else at the start is a nightmare, but it does get easier and there is light at the end of the tunnel.  With regard to questions, I kept a note book and wrote down anything I wasn't sure of and any questions that I needed to ask.  You will get through it.  Alison xxx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi

Sorry I haven't replied sooner, thank you and yes I do feel much better reading these comments I'm going to write my questions down and speak to the nurse. Thank you all so much xx I hate feeling this needy and unsure, I'm normally mrs positivity and Super independent but this has really knocked me down a peg or three xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee, hope you are feeling a little better with some of the answers here - it is a difficult scary time, please don't worry about asking questions or feeling like you should know more than you do - most of us have had an enforced crash course in breast cancer and all the terminology etc - don't think I even knew there was more than one type before I was diagnosed. Just a couple of bits to add that might help in knowing what the immediate future holds - I had a right mx and left surgical biopsy (like a small lumpectomy) last year - there is very little scarring on the left and both sides were less painful etc afterwards than I thought they would be. I'm not sure what info you have already about your lump but the docs can only give a 100% definite diagnosis once they've had a good look at what has been removed during the op (histology etc) - as well as telling you what type, grade etc they may be looking for whether it is oestragen receptive (the hormone can effect cancer growth) and they will also check if they got clear margins ie are all the edges of the area removed healthy.

Sending a big hug, Liz x

Anniej
Community Champion

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee, a totally natural reaction to what is shocking news. Hold tight that BC is VERY treatable. Just had my first round of chemo this afternoon, then went to Asda, and have had some soup and fruit. I'm surprised myself, I was so scared yesterday 😥. Everyone is very different, as are Hospital Trusts and their methods. I attended a one-stop-shop type clinic, and was told in a space of two hours that I had cancer. I've had a lumpectomy and total node excision. I didn't need blue dye, so can't help you there. You are having biopsies done, so if they are clear you will probably have radiotherapy. It took two weeks to get the results back on mine, and a week for the medical team to meet and decide suitable pathways for me. I then met my consultant and went into surgery after agreeing to a Lumpectomy. In total it was about four weeks. Go onto tips for hospital to make a list of what you need to take with you. My advice would be to trust your medical team, they only want positive outcomes. It is your body, so ask questions. Phone your BC nurse up and ask her to go over everything. Mine was more than happy to repeat what had been said to me. You'll be amazed how brave you can be, and you really really are not alone. 💋🍀

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Helena xx

Thank you so much for that message, it has explained some of what I was unsure of and I'm so glad you are getting back to "normal" it really helps get my irrational thoughts into perspective reading about how other ladies have been through this and understand my worries. I'm just in panic overdrive today xxx 🙂

U2girlie xx

I know exactly how you feel, I also thought I was strong as auld boots but I've really felt like a scared child this last few weeks xxx we will get there 👍🏻

MandR

Thank you for your message .. it's a tough time x Let us know how you get on xx big hugs and take care xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee

I am at a similar stage to you.  Had MRI last week that showed up a 'bright' area that I had an ultrasound and biopsies done on today. I have an appointment next Tues to find out results of the biopsies (ultrasound didn't show anything horrid though) and then will, I assume, find out when surgery will be done.  

It is scary, but we'll get through it.  It sounds like you're doing amazingly well so far.  You will be another step closer to being done with this whole thing xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Fee70

 

Well thats good news and a positive about the MRI 🙂  What you are feeling is perfectly normal and completely understandable but we will get you through it xx

 

Just to let you know I was diagnosed in Sept 16, had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy (that is what the blue dye is for) in October, 20 sessions of radiotherapy which completed in Jan this year and I am back to my normal work and life (albeit a little different to the way it was),  It doesnt feel like it at the moment but you will get through this and out the other side, honestly xx

 

I would suggest that you write down the questions you want to ask and if you do not feel up to asking them, give them to your medical team and they will provide you with the answers.  remember they are experts and are used to people feeling like this so will not think any less of you for writing them down, you need answers for your own peace of mind and information, they will give them to you.

 

If it is anything like my hospital, I went to hospital the day before to have the liquid put in the breast, it is injected just above the nipple it doesnt really hurt, just a bit of a sharp prick and then it is done.  The day of your op will be when you have the blue dye injected it will be as part of your operation and will be done after you have gone to sleep. You will go to a day ward to await your op and will come back to that ward once you have woken up.  They will monitor you for a little while, you will need to go for a wee before they will let you go home, Your pee and poo will be blue for a day or two but that is totally normal and they will warn you about it, but it soon goes..

 

You will have exercises to do starting the day after your op which are important to do to maintain the mobility of your arm.  You might have two scars, some ladies only have one, one is where the lump is removed and the other just in your armpit where they remove the lymph nodes for testing. They are not big, mine have all biut faded into a line that looks like a crease now.

 

A few weeks after the op you will have an appointment with your consultant to discuss your results and any further treatment you may have.

 

You are doing so amazingly well in maintaining a normal a life as possible with your family, and we will all be here to help you through, just know you can come on here to rant, rave, cry, ask questions any time, there will always be someone to help you.

 

Small steps are the best, one thing at a time.  Hopefully this has been of help, it a scary time but just keep in mind that this is to get that little b****r out of you and on the road to recovery.

 

Helena xxxx

 

Re: Can't focus on anything today

You really aren't alone! I got diagnosed last week, so facing a mastectomy anytime soon...(sorry for swearing), but this **bleep** suddenly got real! I want it gone from my body, but I don't want to have to go through all that it involves! I am naturally a strong person (or so I thought) up until now. I am breaking down at the slightest thing (like who is doing the washing up). Yet I am "matter of fact" with the actual diagnosis. Hold in there honey! xxx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Thank you Dawny xx take care and take it easy xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fee. Yeah the histology is the results of the tests on what is removed. Breast cancer care have a leaflet that explains what it all means on their website.  You are doing so well-yes it doesn't feel like it to you but you are believe me. You are carrying on and not hiding away and that's not easy.  Although I've not spoke to the nurses on the helpline I've heard they are brilliant. There's loads of support take it all !  I'm doing ok keeping up with painkillers and resting. You take good care hugs xxx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Dawny I hope you make a speedy recovery from the operation xx thank you for replying to me. The histology is that when they can tell you grade, stage and what after treatment you will need? Xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Thanks Dawny, that's a bit like I feel today, I know I need the surgery, I know I need this horrible lump taken out but my mind is just thinking I can't do this! I've tried this last fortnight to "act normal" doing the routine stuff, getting kids up and out to school, going to college, just doing normal stuff like nothing has changed and it's worked kids are blissfully unaware of how I'm struggling and that's how I want it to stay, I need their lives to stay normal truth is I'm so worried, I'm hate to complain because I know I'm lucky it's been found and is being dealt with and I can only pray it's successful but I'm really not in a good place today and I need to snap out of it xx

Re: Can't focus on anything today

Hi Fiona . I had mastectomy on Tuesday and what you are feeling is totally normal. It sounds strange but I feel better knowing treatment has started. Before part of me wanted it over and done with and part of me wanted to run 100 miles in the other direction.  We are on an emotional roller coaster. As I had mastectomy then I'm perhaps not best to advise you on the before and after. However what I have quickly learnt is to listen to my body and be kind to myself. What I know is I've been given an appointment for 2 weeks post surgery to get the histology results. - something else to stress over ! Big hugs to you xxx

Can't focus on anything today

Hi everyone x

This last week I've not really visited, I guess I've been trying to forget what's going on and not face reality but I'm struggling with it today. The MRI results came back last week and doctor said they look "ok" to go ahead with lumpectomy and node biopsies. I feel a bit silly as I don't know very much about what's going on and despite having questions to ask felt too scared to ask them .. silly I know but I couldn't find the words. I am booked in for lumpectomy this Tuesday 9th and he's told me I need a blue dye put in before surgery. When do I find out how bad the cancer is and can anyone offer me any insight as to what to expect before and after surgery please. I am trying to reason with myself but fear is creeping in and this pretend it's not happening act is really starting to crumble xx

Fiona