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Can't stop Crying

21 REPLIES 21
rubypearl
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Oh Jo what a strange and funny old world it is. Here I am feeling guilty about not having chemo, and you are feeling guilty about not having a mastectomy! I send a big hug and wish you luck for Monday.

baglady
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Oh my god i thought it was just me crying for england!! of course reading all your comments has set me off again!
Odd to hear comments that people feel lucky they didnt need chemo.. i had chemo and rads but feel guilty complaining because i didnt need a mastectomy.
I have have had one councelling session.. odd is the only thing i can say about it.
I return to work on monday, not been there since feb. I am hoping that will make me feel better
take care lovely ladies jo x

dotchas
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Barbara ,just posted on your other thread.You seem to have the same guilt feeling as I have.I feel I haven't had real cancer? But as a previous poster said there is no "cancer lite".
And a mastectomy is a horrible operation that no woman would chose unless her life was at risk.I like my recon boob but hate the scars.I am heartbroken that it had to be done.

Hugs
Dot
xx

rubypearl
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Oh I am so glad to hear that other people are going through this too. Fantan, thanks especially for your supportive message.

I had a mastectomy in May 2007 (no chemo or radiation), dealt with it wonderfully at the time, but am now fallling apart. I wonder if those those of us who didn't have to have chemo, and so don't outwardly show any signs of having cancer - apart from having only one or no breasts - perhaps feel that our cancer isn't really serious enough to warrant sympathy from everyone? And also feel guilty because we didn't have to go through all the awful side effects of chemo?

Hugs,
Barbara

dotchas
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Morning all!

Emily,yes I think we all worry about it coming back and all aches send us into a panic.My side is sore where I had my mast and recon so now I am wondering ?liver.Do I have to spend my life worrying?
I am hoping counselling will help.I also need to get back to work but Occ Health said I am too fragile at the moment.I feel guilty about that too!

It is like grief and also post traumatic stress and as you say babs you can't rush these things but we are just so keen get our lives back.

Deb ,good luck with the recon,

Hoping everyone has a nice day today and not too many tears,

Hugs

Dot
xx

ForumMember
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Can i join the club..... i too are crying all the time for the smallest thing, people crack joke in work about me and i burst into tears. Before i would just laugh it off ....... but not know. I had a full mastectomy in Nov and went through 5 month of chemo then four months of Tamoxifen. Which i have stop for two weeks at the mo due to all the joint pain starting to worry if i have secondarys or not.. got to ring Oncology nurse up in a week to see if pains have improved or not.... But people tell me it like a loss and you have to grieve and you cant rush these things. So love to you all ........its a hard life being a woman.
take care
babs x

ForumMember
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Hi,

Just one more thing....i feel guilty asking on the other pages of the forums as i havnt had to go through chemo as low grade cancer, but does anybody else get really paranoid that it will come back, i am definately going to go councelling as i have a real big issue with accepting that its not coming back and it seems that every pain i think its cancer again, I think that this contributes to the crying as im constantly worried.....

Anyone else experiencing this or has experienced this and got over it......your words would be greatly appreciated as im going insane!!!

Emily

xx

Pancake
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Thank you for your replies, your support is fantastic. My family are great but I don’t think they understand, and I was never given a breast care nurse. I really do feel so alone sometimes. I have never met anybody else with BC who I can talk to.

I don’t want to think of other people being as sad as I am but it is comforting to know that I am not alone.

Hey Dot, a holiday sounds like a brilliant idea -
Please don’t buy shares in Kleenex; the stock market is a bit dodgy at the moment.

I do have something positive to look forward to, I have an appointment in 3 weeks to discuss a reconstruction, I am scarred and excited at the same time.

Again, thank you

Deb
XX

BessieBoo
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

I have just come back from the prothesis clinic, and havnt stopped crying since, I think its just hit me - all the way through this Ive tried to be positive, maybe its the Arimdex thats kicking in, but not being able to sleep for hot sweats isnt helping! I just looked at these things she gave me to wear and thought NO!!! I wish sooo much that life was like it was 6 months ago, my OH thinks Im "better" now cos all the treatments finished, and I feel worse! Im really hoping that things get better

love to you all

fantan
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Hello everyone

I was dx in Jan 2005 so a good 3 and 3/4 years ago. I had mx but no chemo or rads. I had 2 years of zoladex and am still on tamoxifen.

I found the first year was the worst in terms of my emotional recovery. Physically our bodies heal really quickly but the trauma of mutilating surgery and a cancer diagnosis take a long time to heal. In fact I suppose it never really goes away. I had some counselling about 5 months after I was diagnosed which really helped.

There were times when I found I couldn't stop the tears and I just let them come. I think it's probably much more unhealthy to try and stop them and bottle them up. Everyone has their own recovery rate so please don't judge yourselves on how someone else is doing. Take as long as you need.

Tamoxifen does give menopausal side effects and they are definately worse in the beginning as your body adjusts. I still have some flushes but they are nowhere near as hot or frequent as they used to be, I also get tired. Everyone reacts differently to the menopause and some women have emotional symptoms, so maybe we have different reactions to tamoxifen.

Hard though it may be to believe when you're going though it, things do get easier.

Take care all of you

fantan xx

dotchas
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Maybe we should take out shares in Kleenex! LOL!

Dot
xx

Jacquieml
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Hi all,

Like Kay, I too have been on tamoxifen for 7 months and my emotions are running wild one day I'm up the next I'm down, if crying was an olympic sport I would be up for the gold.

Don't try and hide your emotions, let the tears come, we WILL get there in the end, and hey those 5 yrs will pass so quickly.

Take care.
Jacquie

dotchas
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Angela08 (and everyone else)

You are not alone! We all seem to be in the same boat!
I feel guilty as I have got off lightly as far as treatment is concerned but I am still sad.I think I am crying a little less now than a few weeks ago so I am hoping it keeps improving.I am happy today as we booked a winter holiday for January to make up for the trip to Rhodes in Setember that was cancelled due to BC and I am hoping that having something to look forward to will help lift my mood! Do you think the NHS would pay for it as therapy? LOL!

Love
Dot
x

angela08
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Hi all,
I have just been reading all the posts and it is good to know that i am not going mad,i too am very weepy had my mastectomy in march no chemo or rads needed.Started tamoxifen may,and i have cried and cried i know how lucky i have been but it just dont make any sence.I thought i was getting better the past week or so but today the tears have started and they will not stop and i dont know why.it is very hard typing with tears running. I agree with dot not sure i can stand five years of it.I just feel so sad and alone.

ForumMember
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

I am just like you too deb, no rads or chemo, zoladex and tamoxifen and im very very emotional, think that its just the shock of having the big C in the first place too as that is going to take alot of time to get used too!

Try and keep your chin up!

xxx

dotchas
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Kay

Just read your post (it took me so long to compose mine)
It is interesting (and slightly worrying) that you have felt this way for 7 months .It may be the tamoxifen then.
Geez I don't fancy crying for 5 years ,but whats the alternative?
Hugs
Dot
x

dotchas
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Misha,
Your post is so right,I like the comment about "cancer lite" .That is so true isn't it. BC is BC.
I saw my Occ Health Dr yesterday and she told me I need more time to let my emotions catch up. I work in NHS so have to face cancer patients and not sure how I will cope.Hopefully I will be more compassionate but I am worried it will set off all my own worries.
My counselling appt is next week so hopefully that will help me move on as I just feel stuck in this sad place.

Deb

How are you today?
Maybe we can get a bulk discount on tissues! LOL!
Hope you feel better knowing you are not alone and its not something wrong with you (as I felt at first)
Hugs
Dot
x

kayty
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Hi girls

I have been on tamoxifen for 7 months now and some days I just feel so emotional and don't think I am coping.

It must be this drug causing havoc with our hormones and learning to deal with what has happened to us.

Have a good cry when you feel like that I usually feel better!!

Take care

Kay

Sam_BCC
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Hi Deb

You might find it helpful to have a look at the tamoxifen fact sheet as it gives you information on the side effects of tamoxifen. It can be found by following the link below:-

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk//docs/tamoxifen__november_06_0.pdf

I hope you find this helpful.

Kind regards

Sam
BCC Facilitator

misha
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Hi girls,

Like you I didn't need chemo or rads after surgery. I went back to work after 8 weeks and physically it felt ok, but emotionally I was a mess. It takes time for the emotions to catch up - for those going through months of rads and chemo it's happening concurrently but not so for you. Remember the shock and stress of the diagnosis is the same for everyone irrespective of the treatment that follows. There is no cancer "lite". You need time to recover from having the bottom fall out of your world.

Best wishes
Misha

dotchas
Member

Re: Can't stop Crying

Hi Deb,
Hugs,
I too have been very weepy too following my mastectomy in July.Like you I don't need chemo or rads so should feel lucky.But somehow that bit of my brain is not connected with bit that crys!
I cried all through the Olympics,and nearly cried in Morrisons!
I will be asking my Consultant next week if it can be the Tamoxifen.Not sure what I'd do if it is though?
I have been referred for counselling and my appt is next week.
You are not alone!
Hugs
Dot
xxx

Pancake
Member

Can't stop Crying

I am usually a very bubbly person, even during my diagnosis and surgery. I had a mastectomy but was lucky as I didn’t need chemo or rads.

I have been on Tamoxafin for about 2 months. To start with I felt great but now I need some help please

I had a mirena coil removed and therefore had my first period in 8 years last month. I started my second period two weeks ago and felt awful, I couldn’t stop crying, I can’t identify why I am crying. I thought it was just my hormones because of my period, but I am still crying.

When I am at work or with my family I am functioning like a robot, smiling like a stepford wife whilst feeling so so sad. (Sad being a very basic but such a descriptive word).

Please tell me if this is normal and let me know how I can get through this.

Other changes in my body are that all my finger nails have broken and my toe nails are splitting down the middle, but I don’t know if this is Tamoxafin related.

Deb