This time last year I was just starting my first of 6 FEC and was feeling strong but nervous. I had a pretty torrid time but got through it. I had 5 cycles in the end as me SEs were pretty bad and I spent 5 days in hospital in the middle. I had 3 weeks of Radiotherapy in January, followed by an infection and Lymphodema. I am now on Tamoxifen for 5 years! Despite all this I was starting to get back on my feet and have a head of curly locks that are coming on nicely. I have spoken to a brilliant plastic surgeon about reconstruction and am looking forward to moving forward again. I had to have a CT scan as part of the preparation process and went on my own - used to it all by now. However, the minute I went into the hospital I felt all weird. The smells, the lights the sounds etc - just reminded me of everything I have been through and I felt a bit overwhelmed. I didn’t say anything and just had my line put in and waited calmly. In the Scan I felt a bit overwhelmed and when the dye went in and I could feel it going around and could taste it I felt like jumping up and pulling the line out or screaming or something. Just typing this makes me feel a bit sick. Since then whenever I smell certain things or taste something that reminds me of it I feel nauseous. It is horrid - anyone else had this or am I going mad?
Hello CoachK
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Best wishes
June, moderator
Hi CoachK - no you’re not going mad!! I finished my chemo about this time last year and still have “chemo flash backs” - my first 2 sessions I used the cold cap and they put that aussie conditioner in my hair and to this day I cannot use it and doubt whether I ever will again - just can’t stand the smell. And the other day I was sorting out some paperwork and came across all my BC papers and letters from the surgeon, oncologist etc. It really unnerved me but I guess in the grand scheme of things its still early days for us. I just try and stay positive in that the cancer is gone after MX and chemo so lets just get on with it! A large glass of wine helps on those dark days too!
Take care! x
Hi CoachK
no you are not going mad. I finished chemo a year ago & still have flashbacks. I suffered terrible sickness with FEC & had drunk Morrocan Mint tea after my 1st chemo to try & settle my stomach, if I as much as sniff mint tea now I baulk. Even typing this is maki g me feel sick. so glad it wasn’t anything I really loved!!!
s x
Yes i agree with all being said and it’s been 3 years since I finshed chemo.
I have never been able to eat paninis since having one during a chemo session and being so ill for days after it - it was the chemo not the panini which made me ill but the associiation is still there!!
I can still freak out at the noise my shower makes - it’s the noise the machine I was hooked up to having chemo made.
Really strange isn’t it how these things stay with us.
Jude
x
Thank you so much Ladies. Isn’t it amazing how just knowing others are going through the same or similar really helps. Tarragon Chicken and peach squash for me. I think I just need to come to terms with with this being part if who I am. Considering counselling I think. Maybe. Thank you all again for the replies and stay strong Ladies.