Sorry about your tube encounter Robin, its so upsetting this thoughtlessness, I think we are used to being given a bit of leeway if we are tired or grumpy because of what we are going through, so its more shocking when someone is so agressively selfish. Silly woman, if she treats you like that feel sorry for her family!
Packing to leave our home of 30 years so a bit distracted at the moment! As you say Robin the fatigue is easing a bit and I am able to do more and if its any consolation (which it isnt) I too still have no hair! As bald as a coot. I have been exposing my head to the sun as if like photosynthesis it will suddenly sprout - but no. My taste is back -copious amount of wine drunk at the weekend following our family goodbye to the house party, and it tasted good. We exchange and complete on the 30th June but cant move into our new place till October, so we are having an extended holiday. 3-4 weeks in Devon/ Cornwall in caravan, 1 month in France staying in a friends house, and a few weeks in Lanzarotte staying with my daughter. A big adventure. We are downsizing considerably so am a bit nervous about how all the family will fit into our new place when they come over, especially our 4 young grandchildren with no garden, the new house only has a patio garden.They all where in and out of the paddling pool at the weekend racing about, that wont happen in the new place. Having all sorts of wobbles about moving, all very emotional. Moving house is stressful anyway let alone when you have just been through what we have been through.
I start RT on Thursday had it before so know its nowhere near as aggressive as chemo. Its just the everday jaunt to the hospital thats tiring.I also have my port out next Wednesday, not looking forward to that I can tell you.
I feel I have got off lightly with SE's compared to you Jackie. Its not pleasant to have Bobs and getting a fistula is particularly unpleasant and annoying after what you have been through. Sending you hugs and strength to get through the next few weeks.
For those of you that still have ops and pathology reports to come I semd you all hugs and courage on the rest of your journey, what an absolute bugger this whole cancer thing is. You just want to stop the rollercoaster and get off, but have to stay on to the bitter end. Good luck to you all.
Hugs to all you teddies still having chemo SE's , or RT.
Sorry I've not been around lately - I just needed to take a break from all things cancer. I LONG for the time when we can have a week free of appointments and treatments.
I'm still going to hospital every day to have the dressing on my BOB changed.
I haven't been too well after the drainage as I've been on 5 antibiotics a day, and even with stomach protectors I've had the runs and thrush.
I stopped taking them last nigh so here's hoping no more runs.
Haven't started RT yet, so I'm going to ring the hospital tomorrow - I've had my planning session and tatoos 4 weeks ago, so I want to get started ASAP.
I will then have the joy of the operation on the anal fistula to contend with, later in the summer.
Robin I just wanted to add my anger to that of the rest of the teddies.
That woman was vile - but I have to say I think it's probably to do with the fact that she's American.
My hubby is American (although VERY atypical having Spanish grandparents) and they have a completely different mindset to us Brits. They tend to be (at least the ones I know) much more brash and abrasive.
There is NO excuse for her attitude though.
I'd like to punch her for you!
My hair is growing back much more quickly than I imagined.
It is now so hot here that wigs and/or scarves and hats are out of the question, so I am now sporting my very own Sinead O'Connor look, with a nifty sombrero or trilby to protect my head from the sun.
And I am very comfortable with it.
All of my treatment has been done privately here, although I do now have a right to NHS care in Spain, so I have started to avail myself of it.
I've been to see my local GP, thesurgery is a 5 minute walk away, and he is more than happy to let me combine private and public healthcare.
As an OAP I can now get my drugs at only 10% of the actual cost so that is a big saving.
I have also got him to refer me to a lymphedoema clinic in Benidorm to keep an eye on the arm, which is slightly swollen, but does not have lymphedoema according to the specialist. (He runs the clinic) .
Beedot - so sorry your SEs are continuing. The taste thing does go away eventually but there are still some things I cannot even think about without feeling nauseous. I LOVE the sound of the eyelashes. I wouldn't dare try them here as the heat would probably melt the glue.
Egg - hope your chemo goes well this week. I'm still grumpy and I finished almost 5 weeks ago. And I've gained weight too. Most of it from comfort eating pre treatment, but some with the steroids.
Re alcohol - I haven't drunk for years now, but I may start again after the stress of all this! Hahahaha
Esther - thanks for the RT report. You give me hope that all will be ok. Glad it's going well for you.
Sorry if I've missed anyone.
Love and best wishes to all of you.
just checking in, how is everyone?
Day 9 here after final tax and this stuff is vicious on the skin. It is just dessicating me and the burns type rashes are up on my hands again. Robin, I too have no tastebuds, everything just seems like I am eating soggy cardboard at best and tastes bitter at worst - doesn't stop me eating though! I am impatient for all SE's to go away, I am so done with chemo. Compared to Jackie though (how are you?) I have been pretty lucky and shouldn't complain.
I spent ages this morning applying false eyelashes for the first time ever. I bought some latex free glue and the most natural lashes I could find. At first they ended up half way up my eyelids which was not a good look but I found you can wiggle them down by going along the line in sections and pressing them on again. I am really impressed and now I am going in search of a bottom set. I keep checking they are still attached but so far so good, OH hasn't noticed yet. I was feeling like a boiled egg without them and eyebrows.
I have my RT prep this week, do the tattoos hurt?
hugs Beedot X
Just a quickie, Esther - I went to Yoga last thursday with the Cancer United group and the teacher is extremely good and it was great to be back doing it !
Robin, can I just add my furiousness to all below, I am with Suze on this one, blinking silly cow.
She has absolutely no empathy or kindness in her body. What is really so sad is that some silly cows dont realise just what a blinking struggle it is to get out of bed some days whilst on chemo. She has no idea how brave you were to even just be on the Tube. And even worse how fragile we are all mentally that even the slightest thing can knock us off course. WE know and hopefully we can make up a little bit for her.
Stay strong and try to forget her...she isnt worth your thoughts.
love to all, Ebimx
Robin, so sorry to hear you had the misfortune to cross paths with an ignoramus. Sod her, silly cow!
Most of us were probably blissfully unaware of the full impact of chemo before all of this. You know about the hair loss but I didn't appreciate all the other side effects. However, as we're all all lovely, normal people on here 😉 we'd have leapt to our feet if someone asked for help like that.
The new knowledge we all now have will help us support others who will, sadly, go through this in the future. We know that sending flowers is lovely, but there's lots of other things that mean the world when you're going through treatment. People that sent me long, chatty texts or messages rather than short a 'how are you doing?' (which I never had the energy to answer several times over) were the best!
I might get Jo Malone's autobiography now. I hear the pages are infused with perfume, so it sounds like an experience as well. One that might be a bit lost with the Kindle version...!
Well I think we can all agree that that woman is not invited to our party! No sausage rolls, no cocktails (even red ones) for her.
I read an extract of Jo Molone's autobiography a while ago and when she was mid chemo, in NY, firstly an elderly lady at the next table in a smart restaurant asked to be moved away from her and an assistant in an upmarket shop asked Jo to stop touching the clothes! luckily, there seem to be be more nice people crossing our paths than people like that, sorry you had to deal with that Robin.
Hugs Beedot X
Well this gorgeous weather helps with feeling a bit better.
Blue re parabens - I have a close girlfriend who has been banging on about chemicals including parabens in all cosmetics, soaps and body lotions. When I got the diagnosis I started to take her seriously and dumped a lot of my stuff and renewed it with "Green People" & Liz Earle products. Its a bit odd to worry about what I am putting on my face and body when I have been pumping chemo chemicals round my body for 18 weeks!
However on the basis that every little helps, and actually some of the stuff that they put into creams and potions is quite scary I think its worth doing. Same goes with food. However I draw the line at Wine or G & T's !!
But even those, in my heart of hearts, I know I should cut back from where I was before all this started.
It has helped having the ghastly taste in my mouth, nothing even a G & T tasted pleasant. Thats one of the side effects that is getting better, still got the split fingers, the finger and toe nails feeling like a mallet has hit them, streaming eyes and tiredness. Apart from that its all good !!
Had CT scan for the radio today - my spine which is slightly curved did not like the "table" to lie on and my arms did not want to cramp up in the stirrups - I ended up in such a peculiar position that they took photos of it so they could replicate it when the radiotherapy starts !!! Felt like a complete freak.
Egg - Nicky got it exactly right - we are Team Warriors Jan 2017 - and we will be until we are all done.
Love & Hugs, Ebimx
I've had my fifth radio session today so that's a third of the way through. So far I have aches but no burn feeling.
On 9 June that will be 'it' for me. As I'm triple negative there's no drugs for that so you just end active treatment after you've done the surgery, chemo and radio bits. I think we have another one or two people who are TN like me on the board don't we? It's going to feel very strange.
Blue - I'm four weeks past my last chemo and still feeling the after effects. The six week mark is my target for feeling better. At least that's what my Onc nurse advised me to aim for. Seems unfair to still have aches and pains and all the other stuff but you will get there. I think you should be kind to yourself and recognise what you've been through and achieved, it's no mean feat getting through this Chemo lark!.... I hope a couple of days away over half term will help you feel better and just have a break from routine. Halve or ditch that flipping walk if you think you won't be up to it! And, it certainly doesn't sound like you're a binge drinker to me and I bet most of us have put on some weight. My weight gain is 98% down to scoffing lots of Double Deckers I think. 😘
Nicky and Robin, well done on getting started with radio. As I'm a few blasts ahead of you I'll let you know of any other SEs I get.
Beedot - many congrats on passing the finishing post! I hope the SEs are kind this time.
Jackie, thank you so much for finding the energy and time to produce my certificate, I really appreciate it, I have printed it.
It must be sore for you just sitting in the car going backwards and forwards to hospital, even though it gets you out, I hope it heals quickly.
Thanks Blue and Ebim, I am looking forward to the party! I haven't drunk any alcohol pretty much since starting chemo. Once I get my tastebuds back I am planning some Prosecco, maybe even Champagne and I have some family and friends eagerly awaiting it, with bottles ready.
I am torn on the alcohol links that are in the news again today, I was not a big drinker before but did drink every day, a glass of wine while cooking dinner, maybe two. Going forward, I think I will drink socially but not every day - what are others' views on it?
Thanks for asking - I'm fine apart from a very sore bottom.
This too shall pass.
I have to go to hospital in Benidorm every day to have the dressing changed, but it gets us out in the lovely spring sunshire (fully hatted of course).
Hope you are well.
The latest of our brave chemo warriors to have passed with flying colours.
To you I am pleased to award the badge of courage and the certificate of fortitude in the face of the gazillion side effects that chemo has thrown at you.
May your final session give you few SEs.
Yes Well Done Beedot - a fully fledged Warrior now. Are you having radiotherapy?
Jackie how are you ??
Have my PICC line out in a couple of hours time, yippee !!!
The cocktails still available at the party as I am definitely going to have a drink tonight.
Hope side effects subsiding for all, love Ebimx
Oh Jackie, I really feel for you, chemo has not been kind to you in the short term but as you say, in the longer term hopefully it has done its job, you are doing so well to stay so positive.
Today, I had my last chemo!! I'm done!! I know I have to navigate the SE's yet but I do feel relieved to have finished.
Robin/Suze - good luck with RT tomorrow.
Fen Hen/ Nicky - I asked my oncologist this morning why the chemo is still heading for my scar and boob 6 months after surgery and she said it is perfectly normal, the area will be sensitive for up to a year and chemo would do the same to any post op area. That was a relief.
Re the sore fingertips/nails, she said to keep them warm so that the blood circulates to them and that should help, so wear gloves and thick socks if toes are affected.
hugs to everyone, Beedot xx
Not that it helps, but I feel really sorry that you are almost 3 weeks past final chemo and still feeling rotten.
Nothing I can say to relieve that, excepting we do all know how you are feeling as at some point we have ( or in some cases still are ) experiencing them.
So we do know how awful and depressing it all is, we also know that it will pass - eventually.
You have been strong in the past, rest now and try to find that inner strength, its there but masked by all the aches and pains you are having to put up with at the moment.
Chemo not only messes with out bodies but our minds too.....tell it to get lost or even - b....r off !!
with love and gentle hugs, Ebimx
so good to hear from you, we worry about you so much. What a horrible time you are having. And yet you still seek to reassure others. You are some very special lady.
We are routing for you,
love and very big hugs, Ebimx
Hi Suze, think I am a tad past playing with a rubber duck, especially as both boobs are now quite droopy so 6 inches maybe too much water. Best for me to "go native" I think.
All I need now is someone to tell me that I cant indulge in the odd G & T whilst having radio and then I will throw the towel in !
Day 10 today for me - and yippee its number 60, the very last, injection...which is just as well as I get the feeling that my other half is quite happy at times to be sticking a needle into my tummy !
Only got to get rid of the PICC on Tuesday and I am well and truly done with this chemo journey.
Bring on the radio.
have a good week end, its sunny here on south coast but very cold wind
love and hugs Ebimx
Just on the whole radio/bath thing: you CAN bath but not with really hot water and the water level cannot be over your boobs. Which basically means having a bath like a toddler, sitting up in 6 inches of tepid water.
And where's the fun in that? Instead of a good book you'd have to revert back to playing with a rubber duck.