Chemo JAN 2017

[EggG]

Wtp fantastic news!!!! Am so pleased for you and what a great response you have had to the chemo! Do you know when your surgery will be?
I'm also sitting hooked up - 4 more to go after today! Have appt now to see surgeon on 20th june and another scan then too so will find out what surgery is planned and when. Did u have an mRI or an ultrasound?
Egg x

[Beedot]

Wow WTP, what great news for you today, congratulations on your last chemo and the impact it has had. You better go get ready for the party.
Jackie, I hope you are soldiering on, it's funny the assumptions one makes, I had a vision of you sitting sipping Sangria or wine in the sun all day long before all this.
I just had my RT prep, 4 tiny dots and didn't hurt!
Hugs to all. Beedot

[Wtp2016]

Hi all,
A quick message to share - apologies for not replying to everyone but I'm feeling a bit elated and also very tired from the piriton.
Im at hospital getting zapped for my 10/12 weekly taxol and my onc just came in to tell me this will now be my LAST one yay!!!!!!!! He's decided I don't need anymore as the delays caused by low bloods at this point are unnecessary. In his words, I've already had "a lot of chemo" (4xEC & 10 x wkly tax) so stopping now will not be under treating... I stopped listening after he said this would be the last!! (Egg - I will stay with you until the end of yours, chemo buddy!)

He also said the MRI showed a great response as my lump has shrunk from 10cm+ to 0.9cm and lymph nodes back to normal size. Yay! He said we still have to wait until after surgery for the histology report to understand what we're dealing with but he was smiling which means I am too!!

Tonight I will celebrate for as long as my heavy eyelids will stay open! On Sunday, I'll be doing the Race for Life and think I might cry the whole way round.
Big hugs and love to you all xxx

[Mooney]

Hi everyone

Sorry about your tube encounter Robin, its so upsetting this thoughtlessness, I think we are used to being given a bit of leeway if we are tired or grumpy because of what we are going through, so its more shocking when someone is so agressively selfish. Silly woman, if she treats you like that feel sorry for her family! 

Packing to leave our home of 30 years so a bit distracted at the moment! As you say Robin the fatigue is easing a bit and I am able to do more and if its any consolation (which it isnt) I too still have no hair! As bald as a coot. I have been exposing my head to the sun as if like photosynthesis it will suddenly sprout - but no. My taste is back -copious amount of wine drunk at the weekend following our family goodbye to the house party, and it tasted good. We exchange and complete on the 30th June but cant move into our new place till October, so we are having an extended holiday. 3-4 weeks in Devon/ Cornwall in caravan, 1 month in France staying in a friends house, and a few weeks in Lanzarotte staying with my daughter. A big adventure. We are downsizing considerably so am a bit nervous about how all the family will fit into our new place when they come over, especially our 4 young grandchildren with no garden,  the new house only has a patio garden.They all where in and out of the paddling pool at the weekend racing about, that wont happen in the new place. Having all sorts of wobbles about moving, all very emotional. Moving house is stressful anyway let alone when you have just been through what we have been through. 

I start RT on Thursday had it before so know its nowhere near as aggressive as chemo. Its just the everday jaunt to the hospital thats tiring.I also have my port out next Wednesday, not looking forward to that I can tell you. 

I feel I have got off lightly with SE's compared to you Jackie. Its not pleasant to have Bobs and getting  a fistula is particularly unpleasant and annoying after what you have been through. Sending you hugs and strength to get through the next few weeks. 

For those of you that still have ops and pathology reports to come I semd you all hugs and courage on the rest of your journey, what an absolute bugger this whole cancer thing is. You just want to stop the rollercoaster and get off, but have to stay on to the bitter end. Good luck to you all.

Hugs to all you teddies still having chemo  SE's , or RT. 

Mooney xxx

[RobinJ]

Good to hear from you Jackie and thanks for your support. I think you're right about the American thing - the woman on the tube did come out with some strange American sounding phrases like 'I wouldn't wish to make a judgement on your health issues' which made her sound unsympathetic to my British ears, but is probably standard US speak. I'm very jealous of your hair growth - good for you. Maybe it's the sun making it grow - I need to emigrate!
Just to reassure you and Blue - you have nothing to worry about with radiotherapy. It really is much easier and kinder than chemo. Blue, I think you will be able to work. I am, albeit part time. My energy levels are rising as chemo recedes and so far I don't think the radiotherapy has made me tired. However they do say the tiredness can come at the end of rads, even after it has finished. But I think you'll be fine to work in first two weeks. I have a bit of itchiness and the skin goes a bit pink sometimes but otherwise nothing to report in the way of side effects. How are rads going for everyone else? R x

[Jackie1952]

Hello everyone,

Sorry I've not been around lately - I just needed to take a break from all things cancer. I LONG for the time when we can have a week free of appointments and treatments.

I'm still going to hospital every day to have the dressing on my BOB changed.

I haven't been too well after the drainage as I've been on 5 antibiotics a day, and even with stomach protectors I've had the runs and thrush.

I stopped taking them last nigh so here's hoping no more runs.

Haven't started RT yet, so I'm going to ring the hospital tomorrow - I've had my planning session and tatoos 4 weeks ago, so I want to get started ASAP.

I will then have the joy of the operation on the anal fistula to contend with, later in the summer.

Robin I just wanted to add my anger to that of the rest of the teddies.

That woman was vile - but I have to say I think it's probably to do with the fact that she's American.

My hubby is American (although VERY atypical having Spanish grandparents) and they have a completely different mindset to us Brits. They tend to be (at least the ones I know) much more brash and abrasive.

There is NO excuse for her attitude though.

I'd like to punch her for you!

My hair is growing back much more quickly than I imagined.

It is now so hot here that wigs and/or scarves and hats are out of the question, so I am now sporting my very own Sinead O'Connor look, with a nifty sombrero or trilby to protect my head from the sun.

And I am very comfortable with it.

All of my treatment has been done privately here, although I do now have a right to NHS care in Spain, so I have started to avail myself of it.

I've been to see my local GP, thesurgery is a 5 minute walk away, and he is more than happy to let me combine private and public healthcare.

As an OAP I can now get my drugs at only 10% of the actual cost so that is a big saving.

I have also got him to refer me to a lymphedoema clinic in Benidorm to keep an eye on the arm, which is slightly swollen, but does not have lymphedoema according to the specialist. (He runs the clinic) .

Beedot - so sorry your SEs are continuing. The taste thing does go away eventually but there are still some things I cannot even think about without feeling nauseous. I LOVE the sound of the eyelashes. I wouldn't dare try them here as the heat would probably melt the glue.

Egg - hope your chemo goes well this week. I'm still grumpy and I finished almost 5 weeks ago. And I've gained weight too. Most of it from comfort eating pre treatment, but some with the steroids.

Re alcohol - I haven't drunk for years now, but I may start again after the stress of all this! Hahahaha

Esther - thanks for the RT report. You give me hope that all will be ok. Glad it's going well for you.

Sorry if I've missed anyone.

Love and best wishes to all of you.

[Blue2]

Oooooh, I'm liking the sound of your lashes Beedot! My lashes hung on right to the end - up to a couple of weeks ago I was still wearing mascara, but sadly 11 days post final chemo and they have disappeared. Actually, I probably have about 10 left. My eyebrows have been thinning for several weeks, however this morning when I got out of the shower, i noticed they had gone completely! Like they'd been washed off! I'm sure I still had some brows when I went in....!
I saw the surgeon today. I'm booked in for lumpectomy and axillary clearance in 3 weeks. Signing the consent form and seeing the list of things that could possibly go wrong is never good! I'm already dreading the OP but even more, I'm dreading getting the pathology back. If after all this treatment there's still active cancer in the lump and lymph nodes, what does that mean for my prognosis.....? An anxious time ahead I fear.
How is radiotherapy for everyone? I'm hoping to work for the first couple of weeks of mine - do you think that's realistic?
X

[RobinJ]

Thanks wtp for your support too. Beedot the tattoos don't hurt at all, don't worry. Everything about radiotherapy is pretty painless, in contrast to chemo! Well done on persisting with the false eyelashes. I have worn mine four times and they always stayed stuck on all day - not bad for a cheap pair. But I have sort of given up because they're a bit fiddly to get on in the first place. Perhaps I'll give them another go. R x

[Beedot]

Hi all,

just checking in, how is everyone?

Day 9 here after final tax and this stuff is vicious on the skin. It is just dessicating me and the burns type rashes are up on my hands again. Robin, I too have no tastebuds, everything just seems like I am eating soggy cardboard at best and tastes bitter at worst - doesn't stop me eating though! I am impatient for all SE's to go away, I am so done with chemo. Compared to Jackie though (how are you?) I have been pretty lucky and shouldn't complain.

I spent ages this morning applying false eyelashes for the first time ever. I bought some latex free glue and the most natural lashes I could find. At first they ended up half way up my eyelids which was not a good look but I found you can wiggle them down by going along the line in sections and pressing them on again. I am really impressed and now I am going in search of a bottom set. I keep checking they are still attached but so far so good, OH hasn't  noticed yet.  I was feeling like a boiled egg without them and eyebrows.

I have my RT prep this week, do the tattoos hurt?

hugs Beedot  X

[EggG]

Wtp - good to hear from you. Sounds like we will be chemo buddies this week - I hope! I had mine delayed last week because of numb fingers and toes. Will have reduced dose this week I think. Don't you have gcsf jabs with the weekly? Yes - I do feel like I am permanenently pre mesntrual - but am grumpy rather than tearful. Esp in the evenings when I am tired! My poor boys are getting used to me growling at them to get to bed on time.
Has anyone else found they have put on weight with chemo? I am also struggling to fit in my clothes - and with this hot weather we have had I feel like an elephant! I've heard with tamoxifen that even more weight gain to be expected - eek. I think I may ask to see a dietitian as when I have mentioned it to the nurses their reply has been "you're tall so you're ok"!!!!!! Not good enough!
Anyway enough ranting. I'm just off now to get my wig cut as it's too heavy and hot for summer
Love to all
Egg x

[Wtp2016]

Happy bank hol wknd all!

Just catching up on the thread...
wow, Robin - what a complete and utter moron (for want of a stronger word!). Some people are just so rude and thoughtless. I hope you're ok, I probably would have burst into tears - esp given my hormonal emotional state. Anyone else feel like they are perm pre-menstral?

Egg - I'll be with you! Next week should have been my last weekly tax but I've now had to miss two due to neuts (despite lowering dose to 96mg).. so I've got three left but think I'll be having it every other wk at this rate. So close and yet so far. MRI results next wk - fingers crossed!

Re alcohol - I've def cut down on this treatment but still getting through at least a bottle of wine every week. I've seen a dietician at the hospital as weight is also an issue for me. She's given me some sensible guidelines to follow but it's not rocket science - I know I've been over-indulging and moving less 😂 I'm also about 3 stone overweight now and nothing fits anymore. I'm taking part in the Race for Life next weekend as part of trying to get fitter again.

Better go as it's way past little one's bedtime. Sending you all hugs, congrats to those finishing and a special big hug to Jackie. Hang on in there xxx

[RobinJ]

Thanks Ebim and Suze for your solidarity and support.
Hope everyone's had a good weekend.
Side effects, huh? Does the yucky mouth taste EVER go?
Good luck to everyone for the coming week and whatever it brings, be it chemo, radio, appointments or other joys.
R x

[ebim]

Just a quickie, Esther - I went to Yoga last thursday with the Cancer United group and the teacher is extremely good and it was great to be back doing it ! 

love Ebimx

[ebim]

Robin, can I just add my furiousness to all below, I am with Suze on this one, blinking silly cow.

She has absolutely no empathy or kindness in her body.  What is really so sad is that some silly cows dont realise just what a blinking struggle it is to get out of bed some days whilst on chemo.  She has no idea how brave you were to even just be on the Tube.  And even worse how fragile we are all mentally that even the slightest thing can knock us off course.  WE know and hopefully we can make up a little bit for her.

Stay strong and try to forget her...she isnt worth your thoughts.

love to all, Ebimx

[Suze123]

Robin, so sorry to hear you had the misfortune to cross paths with an ignoramus. Sod her, silly cow! 

Most of us were probably blissfully unaware of the full impact of chemo before all of this. You know about the hair loss but I didn't appreciate all the other side effects. However, as we're all all lovely, normal people on here 😉 we'd have leapt to our feet if someone asked for help like that.

The new knowledge we all now have will help us support others who will, sadly, go through this in the future. We know that sending flowers is lovely, but there's lots of other things that mean the world when you're going through treatment. People that sent me long, chatty texts or messages rather than short a 'how are you doing?' (which I never had the energy to answer several times over) were the best!

I might get Jo Malone's autobiography now. I hear the pages are infused with perfume, so it sounds like an experience as well. One that might be a bit lost with the Kindle version...!

Suze

xxx

[RobinJ]

Thanks Beedot. It's made me more determined to be as kind as possible to others when I can. And I am going to offer my seat on public transport to whoever looks like they even slightly need it (when fatigue has moved on anyway)!!
How interesting to hear Jo Malones experiences - we sort of expect a basic level of understanding from our fellow humans but sometimes it's just not there. R x

[Beedot]

Well I think we can all agree that that woman is not invited to our party! No sausage rolls, no cocktails (even red ones) for her.

I read an extract of Jo Molone's autobiography a while ago and when she was mid chemo, in NY, firstly an elderly lady at the next table in a smart restaurant asked to be moved away from her and an assistant in an upmarket shop asked Jo to stop touching the clothes! luckily, there seem to be be more nice people crossing our paths than people like that, sorry you had to deal with that Robin.

Hugs Beedot  X

[RobinJ]

Thank you Esther, Blue and Egg - I feel better already! I bloody love this group! Sending everyone big hugs. R x

[EggG]

Robin I am so cross on your behalf. That woman was just an idiot I'm sorry to say. Clearly she had absolutely no manners at all.
I hope you can forget about it and enjoy the wonderful weather we are having. Maybe something nice to eat and a good book to relax with over the weekend?
Egg x

[Blue2]

Robin, that is disgusting. How upsetting for you, to expose your vulnerability and ask for help, and for you to be treated like that. To me, having cancer/chemo/fatigue isn't what should have prompted the lady (and others) to give up their seat for you, its the fact that you were clearly in need and asked for help. I could go on about the selfishness and self centered behaviour of people these days.......but I won't! But it's true! Fortunately, the majority of people aren't like that. I think because we are youngish and look OK, people think we're OK. I am frightened sometimes when out and about - I am afraid of hurting myself, of people, of confrontation, of situations that my fuddled brain struggles with at the moment, but nobody sees that, just us.
I hope you have something planned for the weekend if you're home alone?
X

[Esther c]

Robin that's not nice and I'm sorry you're feeling down. Hopefully we'll rally round and pick you up over the next few days 😉 Take care x

[RobinJ]

Well done Esther . I have completed four days of rads and it's been fine so far.
I am feeling upset today. An American woman was unkind to me on the tube. She didn't see why she should offer up her daughter's seat. Her precise words to me were 'you're not exactly eighty. My daughter's five'. I told her I had fatigue from chemo and took off my hat so she could see the proof. I thought that might elicit a kinder response but not a bit of it. I was so shocked by her lack of empathy.
I have to say most people have been so kind to me on this 'journey' and I really appreciate it. But it just takes one person's thoughtlessness to knock me back. I'm sharing it on here because you have all been so supportive.
I'm also feeling a bit down because my husband is away and the long weekend feels very long. No more rads till Tuesday.
Sad face. R x

[Esther c]

Afternoon ladies I hope you're enjoying the sunshine and not stuck in bank holiday traffic.
I've just finished my first week of radiotherapy, three more to go. It all went well and I have Aveeno cream to apply 2-3 times a day. I'm going for a treatment on bank holiday Monday as the unit I go to are open.
My weight has increased and especially since my last chemo. A lot of it seems to be fluid especially round my ankles but I generally feel puffy all over!!
I have been to yoga this week for the first time in ages and as the sun was shining we practiced in the gardens which was lovely - all this has helped to lift my spirits which is good.
Have a nice weekend. X

[Blue2]

Thanks Suze. I think I might be being hard on myself and expecting too much!! I'm in a rush to move on to the next stage now and can't get my head around my lack of control over making it happen!
It's good to hear your reports of radiotherapy too. I'm hoping to work for the first week or two of mine, but that's obviously dependant on SE and my continued ability to wear a bra throughout it!!! Good look to everyone having RT today - does the bank holiday weekend mean you get an extra days rest?
I have a friend supporting me through this period who was diagnosed with triple negative BC 11 years ago aged 37. She is fine now, no recurrence and no problems with fatigue, lymphoedema etc, nor does she have the added factor of her weight, the toiletries she uses and her lifestyle hanging over her affecting her future. I don't understand enough about all the BC types but have been reassured that oestrogen receptors are good and tamoxifen is my friend!!!
Half of my weight was there before diagnosis and the other half has crept on throughout chemo. I hope the chemo half will go quite easily now it's over?!! I haven't had a double decker in ages......!!!

[ebim]

Hello All,

Well this gorgeous weather helps with feeling a bit better.

Blue re parabens - I have a close girlfriend who has been banging on about chemicals including parabens in all cosmetics, soaps and body lotions.  When I got the diagnosis I started to take her seriously and dumped a lot of my stuff and renewed it with "Green People" & Liz Earle products.  Its a bit odd to worry about what I am putting on my face and body when I have been pumping chemo chemicals round my body for 18 weeks!

However on the basis that every little helps, and actually some of the stuff that they put into creams and potions is quite scary I think its worth doing.  Same goes with food.  However I draw the line at Wine or G & T's !!

But even those, in my heart of hearts, I know I should cut back from where I was before all this started.

It has helped having the ghastly taste in my mouth, nothing even a G & T tasted pleasant.  Thats one of the side effects that is getting better, still got the split fingers, the finger and toe nails feeling like a mallet has hit them, streaming eyes and tiredness.  Apart from that its all good !!

Had CT scan for the radio today - my spine which is slightly curved did not like the "table" to lie on and my arms did not want to cramp up in the stirrups - I ended up in such a peculiar position that they took photos of it so they could replicate it when the radiotherapy starts !!!  Felt like a complete freak.

Egg - Nicky got it exactly right - we are Team Warriors Jan 2017 - and we will be until we are all done.

Love & Hugs, Ebimx

[EggG]

Robin and Nicky - thank you for your encouragement. I really am counting the weeks now! Skipped my paclitaxol today and just had herceptin/perjeta as have developed numb fingers and toes which haven't gone away so onc wanted to give it a break for a week and see if it helped. If it does then I will have a lower dose for next 5 weeks. They are also booking me an appt to see surgeon in next few weeks to discuss surgery. Nearly there...
Hope you've all managed to enjoy some of the sunny weather!
Egg

[Suze123]

Hi everyone

I've had my fifth radio session today so that's a third of the way through. So far I have aches but no burn feeling.

On 9 June that will be 'it' for me. As I'm triple negative there's no drugs for that so you just end active treatment after you've done the surgery, chemo and radio bits. I think we have another one or two people who are TN like me on the board don't we? It's going to feel very strange. 

Blue - I'm four weeks past my last chemo and still feeling the after effects. The six week mark is my target for feeling better. At least that's what my Onc nurse advised me to aim for. Seems unfair to still have aches and pains and all the other stuff but you will get there. I think you should be kind to yourself and recognise what you've been through and achieved, it's no mean feat getting through this Chemo lark!.... I hope a couple of days away over half term will help you feel better and just have a break from routine. Halve or ditch that flipping walk if you think you won't be up to it! And, it certainly doesn't sound like you're a binge drinker to me and I bet most of us have put on some weight. My weight gain is 98% down to scoffing lots of Double Deckers I think. 😘

Nicky and Robin, well done on getting started with radio. As I'm a few blasts ahead of you I'll let you know of any other SEs I get.

Beedot - many congrats on passing the finishing post! I hope the SEs are kind this time. 

Suze

xxx

[RobinJ]

Don't worry Egg - we will all be here for you and you will get an extra specially loud cheer when you enter the party.
How was your second radio, Nicky? Mine was much quicker today so no time to get bored or pins and needles. It's still got a weird groundhog day feel to it though, going back every day.
My head is getting fuzzier (outside I mean, although it's pretty fuzzy inside too!) It's not exactly hair, more like baby fluff, but maybe it's progress. R x

[nickyh]

Don't worry beedot and Robin - I really don't mind! Just heading off to session number 2.

Hang on in their Egg, I know it must be hard seeing others finish chemo but think of all the blasting it is doing to your lump. You may be bringing up the rear in this race but we are running as a team and won't abandon you. Good luck today x

[Blue2]

Hi everyone.
Still feeling low from final chemo SE and trying to psyche myself up for half term holidays next week. We're going away for a couple of nights and plan to do a 6 mile walk one of the days....I was early on in treatment when i booked and optimistic I'd be up for it, but now I'm feeling apprehensive but don't like to admit it! I've been working out time frames for school holidays Egg and bad timing on my part, it looks like my 3-4 weeks of radio will fall in August! Timescales for me are...surgery 4 weeks ish after final chemo and radio 6 weeks ish post surgery. And tamoxifen post radio as something to do with a lung irritation side effect?
Beedot, re alcohol, I am not a heavy drinker, drinking maybe 1-2 bottles of wine a week before diagnosis, but I suppose I'm a binge drinker as have them over 2-3 nights. I haven't drunk on chemo and as much as I fancy a glass going forwards, I can't face potentially making myself feel quesy or off colour by choice, having spent the last 5 months feeling so ill! It might pass as time moves on and the memories of how I'm feeling now pass! On another note though, I am now 3 stone overweight, just great eh, so could do without the calories from alcohol, especially starting tamoxifen post radio (ive heard tsmoxifen slows weight loss) and the advice to maintain a healthy weight to reduce the risk of er+ cancers coming back. One thing I haven't explored re future management is parabens in toiletries etc, though I've been using aluminum free deodorant since diagnosis.

[EggG]

Beedot congratulations no more chemo!
I am very jealous of all of you, I think it's only me and WTP who are still slogging on.
Sitting in hospital now waiting to have bloods, scan, see onc and then have chemo. The triple whammy today of herceptin perjeta and Paclitaxol. 5more weekly sessions to go after today! Then surgery of some description (haven't seen surgeon yet) and radio. Does anyone who had chemo first know how long they wait to do surgery and then go onto radio? Trying to work out timings over summer holidiays!
Big hugs to all,
Egg x

[RobinJ]

Hi Nicky- I hadn't forgotten you were starting radiotherapy today and I did think of you but I was confused as to whether it was you or Suze so I thought I'd wait and have name confirmed! Anyway glad to hear yours went well and how funny that our experiences were identical. I felt guilty about feeling bored when the NHS are lavishing all this expertise and technology on me! But all I could think was I've got to do this every day for three weeks? Yawn. I shall think beautiful thoughts tomorrow! R x

[Beedot]

Sorry Nicky, it was you starting RT today with Robin, I got confused. It all sounds OK so far. I have my planning session next week then start in 4 weeks time. I restart Anastrozole on the same day that RT starts but I didn't get any obvious SEs when I was on it before chemo for 2 or 3 months.

[nickyh]

Well done beedot on crossing the finishing line!

Had my first radiotherapy session today as well and it sounds identical to Robins! Also took a bit longer to line me up correctly and take x rays, and also got pins and needles from keeping my hands above my head for so long! But almost relaxing with lots of sci-fi looking equipment moving around me.

Also took my first tamoxifen today.... No side effects so far!!!

Nicky y

[RobinJ]

Yes well done Beedot on crossing the line and welcome to the party!
I've had my first radiotherapy. Quite straightforward really, bit boring but apparently today's was longer than usual as they did x rays as well. Hands got pins and needles from keeping arms up for so long.
Hope everyone's weeks are going well and side effects are in retreat. I'm definitely less tired but have all the other se still including no hair. R x

[Beedot]

Jackie, thank you so much for finding the energy and time to produce my certificate, I really appreciate it, I have printed it.

It must be sore for you just sitting in the car going backwards and forwards to hospital, even though it gets you out, I hope it heals quickly.

Thanks Blue and Ebim, I am looking forward to the party! I haven't drunk any alcohol pretty much since starting chemo. Once I get my tastebuds back I am planning some Prosecco, maybe even Champagne and I have some family and friends eagerly awaiting it, with bottles ready.

I am torn on the alcohol links that are in the news again today, I was not a big drinker before but did drink every day, a glass of wine while cooking dinner, maybe two. Going forward, I think I will drink socially but not every day - what are others' views on it? 

Beedot x

[Jackie1952]

Hi Ebim,

Thanks for asking - I'm fine apart from a very sore bottom.

This too shall pass.

I have to go to hospital in Benidorm every day to have the dressing changed, but it gets us out in the lovely spring sunshire (fully hatted of course).

Hope you are well.

[Jackie1952]

For Beedot

The latest of our brave chemo warriors to have passed with flying colours.

To you I am pleased to award the badge of courage and the certificate of fortitude in the face of the gazillion side effects that chemo has thrown at you.

May your final session give you few SEs.

[ebim]

Yes Well Done Beedot - a fully fledged Warrior now.   Are you having radiotherapy?

Jackie how are you ??

Have my PICC line out in a couple of hours time, yippee !!!

The cocktails still available at the party as I am definitely going to have a drink tonight.

Hope side effects subsiding for all, love Ebimx

[Blue2]

Well done Beedot on crossing the line! Help yourself to a sausage roll!!!
I'm finding these SE post final chemo really hard to take - not because they are tougher but because I feel I shouldn't be having them as in my mind I've moved on!
Hope your final SEs finally sort themselves Jackie.
X

[Beedot]

Oh Jackie, I really feel for you, chemo has not been kind to you in the short term but as you say, in the longer term hopefully it has done its job, you are doing so well to stay so positive.

Today, I had my last chemo!! I'm done!! I know I have to navigate the SE's yet but I do feel relieved to have finished. 

Robin/Suze - good luck with RT tomorrow.

Fen Hen/ Nicky - I asked my oncologist this morning why the chemo is still heading for my scar and boob 6 months after surgery and she said it is perfectly normal, the area will be sensitive for up to a year and chemo would do the same to any post op area. That was a relief.

Re the sore fingertips/nails, she said to keep them warm so that the blood circulates to them and that should help, so wear gloves and thick socks if toes are affected.

hugs to everyone, Beedot xx

[Jackie1952]

Hello my dear friends
I am pleased to say I have been discharged from hospital this morning.
I am so sorry to hear that all of us who have had our final chemo are still suffering in one way or another.
I seem to have avoided the nail issues, although I have yet to see what happens when the white lines reach the top.
Prior to my last admission I actually felt I was getting some of my mojo back.
Still, I'm happy to be home with my long suffering DH and son and my dogs.
Sadly the MRI showed I do indeed have an anal fistula, so I will need an operation to correct that after my radiotherapy has finished.
Thanks Tax - I'll be remembering your side effects for a while longer.
However- and we must all cling onto this - we are going through all of this to LIVE.
To get back the lives that we had before cancer came and stole our joy.
We have to keep our eyes clearly focused on the prize at the end.
I want to share one of my favourite quotes from Chariots Of Fire
Eric Liddell: You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape - especially if you've got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe your dinner's burnt. Maybe you haven't got a job. So who am I to say, "Believe, have faith," in the face of life's realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. "
We all have the power.
We will get there - and we will win.
❤❤❤

[RobinJ]

Ebim you are right. We have to be really patient and remind ourselves it will pass.
Mooney I do know how you feel. I am nearly five weeks post final chemo. I still have my side effects except I think the fatigue has started to lift. I am doing more normal things now. The consultant last week told me to expect the side effects to last for six weeks after final chemo and some will last longer.
Good luck to all warriors this week whether facing treatment or side effects. My first radiotherapy tomorrow - exciting! R x

[ebim]

Hi Mooney,

Not that it helps, but I feel really sorry that you are almost 3 weeks past final chemo and still feeling rotten.

Nothing I can say to relieve that, excepting we do all know how you are feeling as at some point we have ( or in some cases still are ) experiencing them.  

So we do know how awful and depressing it all is, we also know that it will pass - eventually.

You have been strong in the past, rest now and try to find that inner strength, its there but masked by all the aches and pains you are having to put up with at the moment.

Chemo not only messes with out bodies but our minds too.....tell it to get lost or even - b....r off !!

with love and gentle hugs, Ebimx

[Mooney]

Hope all goes well tomorrow Jackie and that the BOB is just a BOB and not a fistula.
To all the Tamoxifen takers ( I am Letrozole same difference). For us with high oestrogen sensitivity it dampens the free oestrogen produced in body fat tissues etc thereby helping to stop recurrence. A necessary evil- a bxxxxr after all we have been through though.
I am 19 days post Final chemo. And like a lot of you am feeling very fed up. It's the weakness and absolute tiredness . Having to sit down for half an hour after doing the slightest exertion. The legs muscles positively hurt after any walking, the eyes constantly stream and for the first time my shoulder and scar on my lymph node removal arm aches and feels stiff. And there is radio to come so a bit worried about lymphodema.
Like all of you lots of people say great no more chemo- which it is- but somehow doesn't feel like that. So know how you all feel. All a bit of a bother!
On the positive side have been in caravan in Suffolk this weekend. lovely break. Just wish could feel more normal. More like me.
Love and hugs
Mooneyxxxxx

[Blue2]

Oh Jackie. Hope these BOBs can heal properly now the chemo is over and you can finally put them behind you (no pun intended!!!). Fingers crossed for positive results tomorrow. X

[ebim]

Hi Jackie,

so good to hear from you, we worry about you so much.  What a horrible time you are having.  And yet you still seek to reassure others.  You are some very special lady.  

We are routing for you, 

love and very big hugs, Ebimx

[Jackie1952]

Hi everyone.
Just a quick check in from me.
I've read all your posts but either chemo brain or old age prevents me from retaining enough to reply individually on my phone.
I'm still in hospital after my 3rd op for the BOBs - which are medically perianal abscesses.
They are concerned that a fistula may have formed so I had an MRI yesterday.
Have to wait till Monday for all results.
In the meantime I'm on intravenous antibiotics and painkillers.
To those concerned about Tamoxifen, I've been taking it for just 3 weeks now and had few side effects.
Please don't scare yourselves by reading all the POTENTIAL side effects.
Remember, Tamoxifen has been at the front of the fight against breast cancer for over 40 years, and if we looked at the potential side effects of Paracetamol, (just as an example) no one would take that either.
Lots of love to all
Room 421
In hospital.
Xxxx

[ebim]

Hi Suze, think I am a tad past playing with a rubber duck, especially as both boobs are now quite droopy so 6 inches maybe too much water.  Best for me to "go native" I think.

All I need now is someone to tell me that I cant indulge in the odd G & T whilst having radio and then I will throw the towel in !

.

Day 10 today for me - and yippee its number 60, the very last, injection...which is just as well as I get the feeling that my other half is quite happy at times to be sticking a needle into my tummy !

Only got to get rid of the PICC on Tuesday and I am well and truly done with this chemo journey.

Bring on the radio.

have a good week end, its sunny here on south coast but very cold wind

love and hugs Ebimx

[Suze123]

Just on the whole radio/bath thing: you CAN bath but not with really hot water and the water level cannot be over your boobs. Which basically means having a bath like a toddler, sitting up in 6 inches of tepid water.

And where's the fun in that? Instead of a good book you'd have to revert back to playing with a rubber duck.

Suze

xxx