Hope you get on OK tomorrow Tracy, will be thinking of you. It's very fresh in my memory and I know how you feel. I kinda felt like it was the end of my old life and the beginning of my 'cancer' life and that I would never feel the same again....but guess what...10 days after my first chemo and I feel totally normal. It wiped me out 4 the weekend, but I was expecting something like that.
I drank loads and loads of water before, during and after the chemo, I think that helped. Be warned if you have Epirubicin, your wee will turn red!!! Nice touch.
Just to send my best wishes as well for tomorrow. I'm 2 FEC down and 1 more to go and then onto Taxtotere for 3 sessions. It's the fear of the unknown isn't it? once your doing it it doesn't seem as bad, you just get on with it. If I can give you any tips it would be to eat before hand, it's always better with something in your stomach and take water with you as well. I was scared as well so I took some photos of my daughter with me and had a look at them when I was feeling a wee bit wobbly, they cheered me up and reminded me why I was going through all this. The staff are fantastic as well, you can have a good natter about anything that is worrying you.
I was thinking of you this weekend. Haven't been able to log on 'til now and was wondering how you were doin. I totally understand how you're feeling right about now. I remember my first chemo session back in may only too well, and to say I was shi**ing myself would be putting it mildly!!!! I was totally and utterly bricking it, I don't think I got a wink of sleep the night before and I felt like I was gonna be sick several times on the way to the hosp. HOWEVER, I got through it and you will too! I just know you will be absolutely fine, and no doubt tomorrow evening you'll be wondering what all the fuss was about (well, sort of).
What time is your appt tomorrow? My first one was at 1.30 which was not ideal, 6am would've suited me! Tell you what, I was soooooo scared when I went for my first chemo, but when I got home I was soooo pleased that I'd got through my first one and that I was one down. My chemo day centre is a nurse led unit and it is awesome, I'm sure that yours will be lovely too. They always try and ply us with tea and sarnies when we go, I never take them up on the offer though and always feel like I'm offending them! Mind you, I'll make up for it when I go for my Herceptin I'm sure!!! When I went for my first Epi I'm not ashamed to say I cried when she actually started the treatment. I was just scared of what was happening/going to happen to me. Thankfully my tears were short lived though and I left with a smile on my face. The only other time I've cried is when I switched from Epi to CMF and that was only first day nerves again.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow. You will be absolutely fine I'm sure, and I'm allowed to say that cause I now exactly what you are gonna go through! Anyway, enough of all this.................how was the Ann Summers party on fri night??? I won't ask how much money you spent!!!!!
Take care mate and let me know how you get on,
I know what you mean about people wanting to natter - I had a "do" on Saturday in my local Asda..my cousin works in there and since finding out I was gay she would look the other way and very rarely said hello..(not that Im big and butch or look mean!!) sorry I shouldnt sterotype a gay woman should I!!
Well Saturday she came swanning over and said hello and asked if I was doing ok(not mentioning cancer) - in which I replied I was and how I always am, then the lady on the pizza counter asked if i was ok, and I said yes, she said oh its just your Lynn told me about ya know and pointed to her breast and my cousin took off like a shot nowhere to be seen...at which point I felt i wanted to explode..Steph(my partner) was furious..then as we walked away the lady on the pizza counter came out and said listen i have 12 sisters and 9 have had breast cancer and not one of them has died so youll be ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As she said that everyone started staring at me as if i was some kind of lepar(sorry if spelling it incorrectly just on a typing rant) I went bright red and walked out..! it hurt so much!
Anyhow, Tracy, sorry to rant - I think my meaning is after that comment i just wanna get this thing over and done with and get on the road to better health so try and think its just medicine that is curing you, nasty as it may be..besides, I went to an airshow with the Navy doing a mock assault on the beach and you military personnel are tough cookies! I am sure you will be just fine..
Hi Tracy. Just wanted to say all the best for tommorow, Hope it goes O.K. for you, I will be thinking of you. Got the all clear today to start mine 6th August, so we wont be far behind each other. Im the same as you, worrying, but Im sure once we have had the first lot we wont be as scared, and im glad to have such a nice person to share the ups and downs with.
Take Care Tracy,
Lots of Love and a Big Hug
We all know how you feel. It's a strange feeling waiting to go to chemo for 1st time. I didn't know whether to cry or what. Couldn't settle to do anything and felt cold deeep inside.
Hubby came with me. We parked car and walked down to dep't. Met by smiling receptionist who said "We're running a bit late, would you like to take a seat in the waiting room?". I'd psyched myself up to have it done straight away not to wait about for 11/2hr. I told them I'd come back in an hour and walked out. Hubby asked where we were going but that had me puzzled so we went to outpatients and got a brew.
I felt a bit of a fool going back but nobody minded. There's tears, laughter jokes and all sorts at our chemo dep't. Staff are wonderful and now that I'm on a different day (herceptin) we all laugh about the troubles we had with chemo and how bad hair days now feel wonderful as opposed to being bald.
I'll think about you tomorrow and hope that all goes well and you don't have too many side effects.
....and I am scared stiff.
I know this is common as I read other threads. It seems that the closer it gets the more anxious I get. Tried to make the weekend busy to take my mind off it, but everyone we saw kept asking 'how are you?' and expecting a full blown conversation about it when all I am trying to do it forget.
I know that they mean well. I wonder what we talked about before this - as they don't seem to be able to talk about anything else. I know I am being harsh as I have great support and brill friends - I don't mean to be ungrateful I am just fed up.
Hopefully after tomorrow I will see the light at the end of tunnel.
Thanks for listening, sending lol,